Jamgoth's New Progress log - actually striking up the balls to talk to women

[Jamgoth]

Alright, classes have started so I gotta approach college students between classes and stuff.

Anyone have advice for this? I know "what's your major" is an appropriate ice breaker for college, but I don't know how to segue that into a man to woman Convo, especially during the day

 

[pancakemouse]

Alright, classes have started so I gotta approach college students between classes and stuff.

Anyone have advice for this? I know "what's your major" is an appropriate ice breaker for college, but I don't know how to segue that into a man to woman Convo, especially during the day

No one says the words "what's your major" outside of teen movies written by boomers.

Cold approach on campus is not really that different than anywhere else.

Walk up, make an observational opener (Clothing, what she's doing, what she looks like, doesn't matter). Because it's a campus, you can assume familiarity and assume she'll be receptive. Try and guess what she studies, where she's from. Immediately start building commonalities. Tell her your story. Vibe. Get number. Follow up that evening or next day.

The whole time, you should be doing this: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-flirt-girl

 

[Vic]

Alright, classes have started so I gotta approach college students between classes and stuff.

Anyone have advice for this? I know "what's your major" is an appropriate ice breaker for college, but I don't know how to segue that into a man to woman Convo, especially during the day

College student here, if she has a necklace, a tattoo, interesting piece of clothing, etc just give her a compliment and maybe ask about its history. Been able to start a lot of approaches like that.

 

[Jamgoth]

There are two girls in my program that I'm fairly certain are into me. Even without game and social awkwardness when it comes to flirting, just by being social, being presentable in public I'm finding opportunities slowly open up.

I'm not into them, but I figure I can use them for practice and hopefully this will prepare me for when I'm with girls I'm actually attracted to

 

[Jamgoth]

Approach anxiety lately for daygame has been really bad recently. There's this fear that I'm bothering a woman as she's just going about her day. I don't want to talk to anyone on their phone for fear they are in a call, or on their laptop for fear they are working. Or when they are with friends for fear they are bothering their friends.

It's less bad when I'm in a setting like a bar where you are expected to socialize but I'm still bad about making it man to woman.

 

[pancakemouse]

Approach anxiety lately for daygame has been really bad recently. There's this fear that I'm bothering a woman as she's just going about her day. I don't want to talk to anyone on their phone for fear they are in a call, or on their laptop for fear they are working. Or when they are with friends for fear they are bothering their friends.

The situations you describe aren't really approach anxiety, they're just social acuity. This is a good thing.

Don't bother people when they're busy.

I never approach girls on phone calls or when they're with friends.

Laptops are a toss-up, if she looks seriously intensely working I won't but if she's just casual relaxed I will.

 

[Jamgoth]

Approach anxiety lately for daygame has been really bad recently. There's this fear that I'm bothering a woman as she's just going about her day. I don't want to talk to anyone on their phone for fear they are in a call, or on their laptop for fear they are working. Or when they are with friends for fear they are bothering their friends.

The situations you describe aren't really approach anxiety, they're just social acuity. This is a good thing.

Don't bother people when they're busy.

I never approach girls on phone calls or when they're with friends.

Laptops are a toss-up, if she looks seriously intensely working I won't but if she's just casual relaxed I will.

Okay, then when is it okay to approach women?

 

[pancakemouse]

The situations you describe aren't really approach anxiety, they're just social acuity. This is a good thing.

Don't bother people when they're busy.

I never approach girls on phone calls or when they're with friends.

Laptops are a toss-up, if she looks seriously intensely working I won't but if she's just casual relaxed I will.

Okay, then when is it okay to approach women?

Times I don't approach:
- on a phone call
- girl is not alone
- visibly in a bad mood
- visibly rushing (this includes joggers)

Every other time is fair game.

 

[hyrtsmyrts]

Okay, then when is it okay to approach women?

Times I don't approach:
- girl is not alone

Are you sure about this? You can use the group to your advantage: more surface area to show your social skills and win the group on your side. After that target the girl whose number you want. If her friends like you they'll be the ones who are giving the number to you.

There are not so many girls hanging around alone. Especially in bars. So it's better to get used to approaching a group. I think you have sample data and you have some kind of lesson for us here. I have been approaching girls that are alone vs groups 50-50 but I don't have enough data to draw any conclusions.

 

[Jamgoth]

Went out to my local Yale bar. Started talking to people there as usual. There was one Chinese girl (honestly there are so many Chinese girls at Yale, and very few of them are above a 5, but I'm not going to complain about that at this stage, I should start coming up with better descriptors) but, anyway, there was one Chinese girl who was just drinking wine alone, not really conversing with other people in a crowded bar and not really trying to. I complemented her hair (she has a kind of similar mallen streak that I do) and noticed she was uncomfortable, so I suggested we get out of here, and we ended up walking and getting dinner at a sit down restaurant, so an insta date. I tried making small talk but it was difficult because 1) she barely understood English, so there was a lot of "I'm sorry I don't understand" whenever I used a word more than two syllables and 2) she was extremely socially awkward, like, worse than me She really struggled to maintain eye contact too. What ended up happening is I would tease her and, with the two points above, she wouldn't understand it was a joke. I would ask her questions and she would give one word answers, but I don't think it was a function of her being bored or uninterested, it was her being socially awkward. She did after all, agree to leave the venue with me when I suggested it, so there must have been some investment on her part.

I ended up not making a move. In part because I couldn't make it man to woman under the previous circumstances, but also because I really wasn't interested. We parted ways amicably.

But hey, at least I got one instadate

 

[loki]

I couldn't make it man to woman

the LEAST effective way to make it man to woman is with language. It's a last resort.

The default should be your body language.

Prolonged eye contact during long pauses in speech is man to woman.
Being inside her personal bubble is man to woman.
Slow deliberate touch is man to woman.

Etc

Focus on body language over verbals and you'll get game down much quicker

 

[Jamgoth]

I couldn't make it man to woman

the LEAST effective way to make it man to woman is with language. It's a last resort.

The default should be your body language.

Prolonged eye contact during long pauses in speech is man to woman.
Being inside her personal bubble is man to woman.
Slow deliberate touch is man to woman.

Etc

Focus on body language over verbals and you'll get game down much quicker

I appreciate the advice but this girl did not want to maintain eye contact

 

[pancakemouse]

Times I don't approach:
- girl is not alone

Are you sure about this? You can use the group to your advantage: more surface area to show your social skills and win the group on your side. After that target the girl whose number you want. If her friends like you they'll be the ones who are giving the number to you.

There are not so many girls hanging around alone. Especially in bars. So it's better to get used to approaching a group. I think you have sample data and you have some kind of lesson for us here. I have been approaching girls that are alone vs groups 50-50 but I don't have enough data to draw any conclusions.

This was in the context of daygame.

the LEAST effective way to make it man to woman is with language. It's a last resort.

The default should be your body language.

Prolonged eye contact during long pauses in speech is man to woman.
Being inside her personal bubble is man to woman.
Slow deliberate touch is man to woman.

Etc

Focus on body language over verbals and you'll get game down much quicker

I appreciate the advice but this girl did not want to maintain eye contact

This is normal for Chinese FOBs. Majority of them are alien creatures that are ungameable. No one I know can crack these types of girls, not even the most advanced gamers I know. Good on you for trying anyway. I think it was good practice for you to bounce a girl to a difference venue.

 

[Jamgoth]

Are you sure about this? You can use the group to your advantage: more surface area to show your social skills and win the group on your side. After that target the girl whose number you want. If her friends like you they'll be the ones who are giving the number to you.

There are not so many girls hanging around alone. Especially in bars. So it's better to get used to approaching a group. I think you have sample data and you have some kind of lesson for us here. I have been approaching girls that are alone vs groups 50-50 but I don't have enough data to draw any conclusions.

We're talking about daygame.

I appreciate the advice but this girl did not want to maintain eye contact

This is normal for Chinese FOBs. Majority of them are alien creatures that are ungameable. No one I know can crack these types of girls, not even the most advanced gamers I know. Good on you for trying anyway. I think it was good practice for you to bounce a girl to a difference venue.

Actually my first girlfriend was a Chinese immigrant too. Also super awkward, not high value. But she was super into me to the point I didn't have to really have any game or subtly

 

[kratjeuh]

No one I know can crack these types of girls, not even the most advanced gamers I know.

Only Western society can crack these girls.

Quite similar to a lot of Indian girls I've met. They come to Europe to study and are super shy and closed-minded for the first months due to the values they were raised with. After a month or 2 they adapt to the culture and suddenly become giga whores.

I'd say the best way to game these girls is to friendzone them until you notice changes in their attitude.

 

[pancakemouse]

No one I know can crack these types of girls, not even the most advanced gamers I know.

Only Western society can crack these girls.

Quite similar to a lot of Indian girls I've met. They come to Europe to study and are super shy and closed-minded for the first months due to the values they were raised with. After a month or 2 they adapt to the culture and suddenly become giga whores.

I'd say the best way to game these girls is to friendzone them until you notice changes in their attitude.

I know what you're talking about with Non Resident Indians as it happens here too but Chinese are... different.

The girls I'm referring to, 富二代 (fu er dai) Chinese, do not assimilate into American culture at all. They live their life here as if they were living in China. When they graduate, they return to China immediately. Their entire friend circle is usually Chinese and if they date, it's within this circle.

I speak Chinese. These girls don't care. They simply have no interest in strangers. I've approached probably 500 before I finally gave up.

Their English is typically poor and usually they are forced by their parents to attend elite US universities. Frequently their entrance essays are written by someone else. They are under intense pressure to succeed from back home and do not have time to consider a stranger cold approaching them. They are sheltered rich only children who typically have a body count of 0 or 1 long term ex boyfriend.

It's important to know this info as Western University cities are being flooded by these girls.

You are correct, though, that social circle is the only real way to get at them.

 

[Jamgoth]

Only Western society can crack these girls.

Quite similar to a lot of Indian girls I've met. They come to Europe to study and are super shy and closed-minded for the first months due to the values they were raised with. After a month or 2 they adapt to the culture and suddenly become giga whores.

I'd say the best way to game these girls is to friendzone them until you notice changes in their attitude.

I know what you're talking about with Non Resident Indians as it happens here too but Chinese are... different.

The girls I'm referring to, 富二代 (fu er dai) Chinese, do not assimilate into American culture at all. They live their life here as if they were living in China. When they graduate, they return to China immediately. Their entire friend circle is usually Chinese and if they date, it's within this circle.

I speak Chinese. These girls don't care. They simply have no interest in strangers. I've approached probably 500 before I finally gave up.

Their English is typically poor and usually they are forced by their parents to attend elite US universities. Frequently their entrance essays are written by someone else. They are under intense pressure to succeed from back home and do not have time to consider a stranger cold approaching them. They are sheltered rich only children who typically have a body count of 0 or 1 long term ex boyfriend.

It's important to know this info as Western University cities are being flooded by these girls.

You are correct, though, that social circle is the only real way to get at them.

Do you think trying to talk to these girls is a waste of time? 90% of the people in my program are from China (the one I was showing texts from earlier is more Americanized but the others fit your description perfectly)

 

[pancakemouse]

I know what you're talking about with Non Resident Indians as it happens here too but Chinese are... different.

The girls I'm referring to, 富二代 (fu er dai) Chinese, do not assimilate into American culture at all. They live their life here as if they were living in China. When they graduate, they return to China immediately. Their entire friend circle is usually Chinese and if they date, it's within this circle.

I speak Chinese. These girls don't care. They simply have no interest in strangers. I've approached probably 500 before I finally gave up.

Their English is typically poor and usually they are forced by their parents to attend elite US universities. Frequently their entrance essays are written by someone else. They are under intense pressure to succeed from back home and do not have time to consider a stranger cold approaching them. They are sheltered rich only children who typically have a body count of 0 or 1 long term ex boyfriend.

It's important to know this info as Western University cities are being flooded by these girls.

You are correct, though, that social circle is the only real way to get at them.

Do you think trying to talk to these girls is a waste of time? 90% of the people in my program are from China (the one I was showing texts from earlier is more Americanized but the others fit your description perfectly)

Try it out. If you have something in common with them, it's the only shot. Worst case you make some friends and gain a social circle. You will start to learn which ones are gameable and which aren't.

 

[Jamgoth]

So it appears my attempts to be a more fun person in general aren't going very well. People are noticing offhand sexual comments I made and it said it made them uncomfortable. I'm not dumb enough to go around bragging about what a big dick I have or anything like that, I'm more subtle, but apparently not as subtle as I think I am.

 

[pancakemouse]

So it appears my attempts to be a more fun person in general aren't going very well. People are noticing offhand sexual comments I made and it said it made them uncomfortable. I'm not dumb enough to go around bragging about what a big dick I have or anything like that, I'm more subtle, but apparently not as subtle as I think I am.

Details? This was in a group setting?

Social circle or professional/grad student settings are not a great place to practice "being a sexual jokes guy" for Game purposes. I don't make sexual comments in group settings at all, it usually comes off as gauche.