Jamgoth's Progress Log

[Jamgoth]

My goal is to try to lose my virginity.

I also want to gain weight to put on muscle. I'm 5'8 and 125.4 lbs as of 8/22/22. I want to be 140 lbs by the end of the year.

Yesterday I went out to take good Tinder pictures, because I realize the bathroom selfies I used to have are not cutting it. I basically paid a professional to take good photos. Let's see if those will cut it.

I also went on a date with a girl I met at a college event the day before. It didn't go well, but I don't consider it a loss. She was okay looking, but she had severe social anxiety, like, worse than mine. The whole time I was wondering when to make a move and escalate things, because that's been something I've been nervous about doing and need help, but again, considering how nervous she was I don't consider it a loss that I didn't. I don't plan to see her again.

 

[hush]

"my goal is to lose my virginity"

"I had a date and won't see the girl again"

Why?
Would you be happy to have sex with her, yes or no?

Her social anxiety will get better once she knows you better

 

[Jamgoth]

Would you be happy to have sex with her, yes or no?

In terms of looks, I was on the fence. She's a short, skinny Chinese girl, which is a type I like, but she also has bad skin problems. But considering how awkward she was, it's a hard no. I've been attracted to average looking women in the past if I like hanging out with them, but she was so shy talking to her felt like pulling teeth. At one point, we were walking along campus, it's her first semester on campus so I was showing her around, and she wanted to know where the track field was. I didn't know where it was but I did know where the gym was, so I led her there and said "let's ask the people working there where the track field is" but she didn't want to. So I went in while she waited outside and asked directions for her. She thanked me for doing that and we walked to the track field.

She's 21 and still requires other people to do basic human interactions for her. I get that I'm kind of a mess too but like... not being a competent adult is such a turn off for me it's not worth it. I'd rather pursue women I do like more.

I also didn't get the impression she saw me as a sexual option. Although it's hard to tell if it's because she's shy or because she doesn't see anything in me.

 

[hush]

OK that makes sense now, passing is probably the right choice

 

[Jamgoth]

8/23/22

I weighed myself. Still 125.4. At least I'm not losing any weight.

I'm trying to eat 3 meals a day, but with my low appetite I find it difficult to force myself to eat. It's probably closer to 2 meals considering I throw out half eaten meals. I'm trying to power through and force myself to eat but it's hard.

My school has food chains on campus that you can pay with dining money. I figure I will buy the same thing each day because that makes it easier to be consistent and figure out how many calories/protein I'm getting. The dorm I'm in does not have a kitchen so cooking for myself isn't really an option.

I did spend an hour at the gym yesterday.

 

[Jamgoth]

8/24/22

Weight: 125.6

There is positive improvement. Let's see if I can keep it up. I'm starting to keep track of how many calories my meals are and trying to pick options that are high in calories. The main thing is that I have trouble finishing what I order. I suppose there is nothing to do other than to just override my body's signals to stop eating. I want to try to eat faster too. Learn to chug weight gainer shakes. I think once a month I will post a shirtless bathroom selfie so you guys can see how I look beyond just a number.

Did go to the gym yesterday.

 

[Jamgoth]

8/25/22

Weight: 126.3

I think there is something wrong with my scale. I doubt I gained 0.7 lbs in one day.

Still trying to eat more. It's hard, but I think having 6 cups of whole milk a day is doing the trick of keeping me calorie surplus even if I don't finish my meals (but I'm still trying to finish my meals)

Did go to the gym yesterday. My legs are still sore from leg day 2 days ago. But I will still go again today.

Also I put in work touching my eyeball so I can put in contacts. I'm getting to the point where it's easier. But it still takes a few tries and I can't hold my finger down once it's touched the eyeball.

I also got a small chain.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

good start with taking and posting action

I think there is something wrong with my scale. I doubt I gained 0.7 lbs in one day.

this is likely just increased water weight from your newfound bulking diet

while it's good to (and you should) weigh yourself everyday, i wouldn't focus on daily deltas as your body will always be fluctuating within a ~5 lb range.

for example rn if i step on the scale, I'm expecting a number between 145 and 150. if i see 151, that means that 5 lb range is shifting.

continue to track your weight daily but i'd only make analyses every 2-4 weeks instead.

also it'd be good for you to post
- how many calories you ate and macros (esp protein)
- what workouts and what level of resistance you did the workouts at (e.g. 3 sets of 8 reps 100lb squat)

 

[Jamgoth]

good start with taking and posting action

I think there is something wrong with my scale. I doubt I gained 0.7 lbs in one day.

this is likely just increased water weight from your newfound bulking diet

while it's good to (and you should) weigh yourself everyday, i wouldn't focus on daily deltas as your body will always be fluctuating within a ~5 lb range.

for example rn if i step on the scale, I'm expecting a number between 145 and 150. if i see 151, that means that 5 lb range is shifting.

continue to track your weight daily but i'd only make analyses every 2-4 weeks instead.

also it'd be good for you to post
- how many calories you ate and macros (esp protein)
- what workouts and what level of resistance you did the workouts at (e.g. 3 sets of 8 reps 100lb squat)

The problem with counting calories is that I have an issue with actually finishing meals. Like, if I eat part of a burrito, how many calories is that?

I'll start posting the weights I use.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

The problem with counting calories is that I have an issue with actually finishing meals

just estimate lol. cronometer should have some random prefabs for burritos comparable to what you're eating. also for chain restaurants i think it has the data for popular menu items so you can sub shit out and put e.g. "0.7" of a burrito.

generally it's also better to cook/meal prep your own food for the sake of calorie counting bc it's just easier.

detailed a "but I don't want to cook fuck you" plan here btw (although 3100 calories is wayyyyy too much at 126 lbs bw hahahah. i recommend bw*18, so for you probably 2300+ is a good start): https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=24952#p24952

also buy a lil food scale

autism solution to this problem if you still want to eat out and track calories:
1. buy a food scale
2. before you eat the burrito, take apart and weigh out the quantities of the individual ingredients
3. make a custom food on cronometer with the nutrition info of the custom ingredients
4. bam, now you can eat 65% of that burrito and track it for the future

i can't emphasize how important calorie tracking, even ±100 range is btw

 

[hush]

The best way to weight yourself is: in the morning, on an empty stomach, after you pooped
Daily fluctuations are normal depending on how hydrated you are, what you ate, etc.
What matters are weekly and monthly fluctuations.

You should focus on adding muscle more than on gaining weight. If you gain too much weight you'll just end up skinny fat which is worse than just being skinny.

I gave you a few ideas on how to add calories in your other thread, I suggest a protein shake before and/or after your workouts, easy way to add 100kcal. Some carbs in your preworkout shake are also a good idea

 

[Jamgoth]

You should focus on adding muscle more than on gaining weight. If you gain too much weight you'll just end up skinny fat which is worse than just being skinny.

I am working out regularly and have been for a while, that's not an issue, it's the diet half of the equation I struggle with.

 

[Jamgoth]

8/26/22

Weight: 126.3

Did not work out yesterday. My legs were still sore from 2 days prior so I decided to take the day off to heal. They are feeling better now so I plan to go back.

I spoke with my doctor about prescribing me medicine to increase my appetite.

I'm planning to grow out my goatee. I bought stuff to groom and maintain facial hair so hopefully it won't be a neckbeard.

I have a bad phone addiction and I plan to try to break it. I see people walking around with their head glued to their smartphone screens and I realize how unattractive it looks and I realize I do that too so I'm going to try to stop.

It's Friday so I plan to go to an event tonight to try to meet people. I'm not even going to try to get laid, just get used to going places and talking with strangers, male or female.

 

[Jamgoth]

8/27/22

Weight: 125.7

Last night I tried going out. There was a party held by the fraternities so I went but when I got there I realized it was for the black fraternities and as a white guy I felt I'd be out of place so I left. But honestly, even if it weren't I still probably would have left. The crowds made me uncomfortable, I'm not good at dancing, everyone was talking to their friends and I was alone. I know I need to push myself out of my comfort zone more but last night I wasn't able to. So I left and just walked around trying to reach up the courage to talk to someone but wasn't able to.

What I ate yesterday:
Sausage egg cheese bagel: 700 calories, 26g protein
Protein shake: 350 calories, 30g protein
6 cups of milk: 600 calories, 48 g protein
Half a burrito: 500 calories, 30g protein
Turkey Sandwhich: 200 calories, 25g protein
Few slices of pineapple: (I dunno? 0 g protein?)

Workout
For each exercise I do 3 reps of 5 and then a 4th rep where I go until I can't go anymore. If I can do 8 or more I increase the weight for next session
Squat: 120 lbs
Calf Extension 200lb
Free Motion Abdominal Machine: 60lb
Free Motion Chest Machine: 100 lb
Bench Press: 45lbs per hand
Leg raises (this one I just do one rep until I can't go anymore, which this time was 30)

 

[Mimbe393939]

Last night I tried going out. There was a party held by the fraternities so I went but when I got there I realized it was for the black fraternities and as a white guy I felt I'd be out of place so I left. But honestly, even if it weren't I still probably would have left. The crowds made me uncomfortable, I'm not good at dancing, everyone was talking to their friends and I was alone. I know I need to push myself out of my comfort zone more but last night I wasn't able to. So I left and just walked around trying to reach up the courage to talk to someone but wasn't able to.

I like the honesty in your log. That's exactly what people should be doing.

If it makes you uncomfortable, that's even more reason to do it. One step closer to achieving social freedom.

 

[Jamgoth]

8/28/22

Weight: 124.8

I did work out yesterday. I didn't keep meticulous track of what I ate but I'm keeping a rough estimate in my head of how much protein and calories I'm getting per day and realized I was probably a little low so I had a weight gainer shake before bed.

I didn't really make an effort to talk to people, I know I should have. A girl did compliment my tattoo, which was nice.

 

[Jamgoth]

8/29/22

Weight: 125.7

I did work out yesterday.

I've gotten used to the routine of working out and getting more to eat. I suppose there is nothing more to do than to follow it and see if I'm getting any results. I think I am seeing results already though, but it's hard to tell objectively.

This isn't helping me talk to women though. I need to do an approach anxiety program at some point. That's probably a bigger issue than me being skinny. I'm not hot enough for Tinder, but I don't think I'm ugly.

 

[Matias]

8/29/22

Weight: 125.7

I did work out yesterday.

I've gotten used to the routine of working out and getting more to eat. I suppose there is nothing more to do than to follow it and see if I'm getting any results. I think I am seeing results already though, but it's hard to tell objectively.

This isn't helping me talk to women though. I need to do an approach anxiety program at some point. That's probably a bigger issue than me being skinny. I'm not hot enough for Tinder, but I don't think I'm ugly.

I think that for gym and fitness, unless you go all-in, it's giving it time. It would be good that as long as you can keep the habit of going to the gym, you can add approach's, meet people or create a tinder. That way you will see progress in other areas. Good luck and keep at it

 

[Jamgoth]

8/29/22

Weight: 125.7

I did work out yesterday.

I've gotten used to the routine of working out and getting more to eat. I suppose there is nothing more to do than to follow it and see if I'm getting any results. I think I am seeing results already though, but it's hard to tell objectively.

This isn't helping me talk to women though. I need to do an approach anxiety program at some point. That's probably a bigger issue than me being skinny. I'm not hot enough for Tinder, but I don't think I'm ugly.

I think that for gym and fitness, unless you go all-in, it's giving it time. It would be good that as long as you can keep the habit of going to the gym, you can add approach's, meet people or create a tinder. That way you will see progress in other areas. Good luck and keep at it

I'm not getting matches on Tinder lol.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

8/29/22

Weight: 125.7

I did work out yesterday.

I've gotten used to the routine of working out and getting more to eat. I suppose there is nothing more to do than to follow it and see if I'm getting any results. I think I am seeing results already though, but it's hard to tell objectively.

This isn't helping me talk to women though. I need to do an approach anxiety program at some point. That's probably a bigger issue than me being skinny. I'm not hot enough for Tinder, but I don't think I'm ugly.

this post is like putting meat in a pan and complaining "you don't see it cooking" after 10 seconds

you've been logging your workouts for a week and you still aren't logging your calories

but the timeline to see even "minimal gains" is i'd say 4-6 months. if you put in serious effort you can get to probably 150-155 by march and probably be lifting roughly 225 squat, 155 bench, 275 deadlift (depending on your body type)