"lets talk for a bit more first"

[Squilliam]

I read Andy's timewasters article. I found the information to be very accurate and helpful. However, I realized that as a result, I started unmatching girls very hastily. So I started being pickier with which girls I unmatched.

Sometimes I'll get girls who will agree to my date and give me their number or social media, but they will say something along the lines of "lets talk for a bit more first". I just unmatched some girl who offered to give me her snap, because the way I see it, there is a 99.9% chance she is either:
a) a timewaster with zero intention of meeting
b) excessively cautious and therefore not the type to have casual sex

I should make it clear that I tell girls I don't want anything serious so if they're the second type then they should've filtered themselves out.

I guess what I'm asking is, should I have ever bothered trying to plan a date with that girl? Last time this happened, I did take her social media, and she responded with "can I get back to you". I called her out on it, and she got mega offended lol.

I have no reason to deal with annoying, high maintenance girls who want to be treated like a princess, when there are plenty of easy-going, nice girls. So I just unmatch these types of girls now.

My current FWB wanted to talk a bit before meeting but she gave me her number and showed interest in picking an actual time. She didn't respond to my date proposition with "lets talk more first" like these girls did.

So I guess my question is, are girls who say this ever worth my time? Or is unmatching them the second they say it fine?

 

[Vice]

I just add them to my Instagram and let them experience FOMO from all the awesome shit I do if they decide to fuck around. I don't do snaps/phone numbers because it's too easy to forget who they are. Plus I get more followers and frequently get the "how do you know Sarah?" when she sees we're mutual friends, and it gives me a chance to clown on her for being on Tinder just for attention.

 

[Squilliam]

I just add them to my Instagram and let them experience FOMO from all the awesome shit I do if they decide to fuck around. I don't do snaps/phone numbers because it's too easy to forget who they are. Plus I get more followers and frequently get the "how do you know Sarah?" when she sees we're mutual friends, and it gives me a chance to clown on her for being on Tinder just for attention.

The problem is my instagram doesn't make me look like a super high value bad ass, it's purely just for photography and has no shots of me. I guess that's something I can work on, but I hate the fakeness of social media. It feels like I have to make my life seem better than it really is.

Definitely not a bad idea to farm followers though.

 

[Radical]

Andy did say in that article that as a newbie for the sake of gaining experience you will need to put up with more bullshit and timewasters until you have it down pat

The advice he had in that article is aimed at guys who are trying to manage high volumes of girls in their lives

If you are happy with your dating atm then yeah sure its cool to unmatch the timewaster chicks

 

[Squilliam]

Andy did say in that article that as a newbie for the sake of gaining experience you will need to put up with more bullshit and timewasters until you have it down pat

The advice he had in that article is aimed at guys who are trying to manage high volumes of girls in their lives

If you are happy with your dating atm then yeah sure its cool to unmatch the timewaster chicks

I don't have tons of options in terms of girls, I currently have 1 FWB and 1-2 potential leads (date rescheduled for this weekend). However, I have a really good amount of matches. In my first month of hinge I got over 150 matches. Probably at least 100 more unmatched due to being unattractive, a timewaster, etc. I feel like I have enough matches I can afford to discard one here and there when they seem to be low compliance. I'm currently pretty content with my FWB, although I would like to find some other girls as well. My current living situation is not optimal to get laid, but STEM girl has her own apartment and I don't, which makes this situation very easy for me, as I can uber for like $10 pretty easily.

I'm not really a newbie in terms of going out on dates, yeah, my count is low, but that's because I was very unskilled with women for awhile. I went into online dating with no real strategy, no idea of what to do. After about 3 years, I've been on a few dozen dates, only a small handful of lays, but things seem to be looking up as of late. I am continuing to improve my appearance and it's been going well so far.

 

[Radical]

What i consider 'good' online dating volume would be a lot more leads than that.

If you look at Manganiello's log for a good example he was double booking every night and having to drop leads to manage it

If you do want more volume (i dunno if you do or not you seem happy with what you are doing atm and thats good) then it wouldnt hurt to cull less girls on the apps for minor timewasting etc

 

[Manganiello]

I read a bit of your log.

Im going to invite you to a new standard. You don't have to listen to me or care. It's just an invite...

I'm gonna come across as an ass, but it's just me pointing out where you can do better.


Squilliam.

In my first month of hinge I got over 150 matches.

150 isn't horrible but that's not a lot per month. That's a good mid-tier number. But if you're serious about this stuff you should be doing double that atleast. Across all the apps I do that every 2 weeks passively. 150 was a weekly number when I was more active.

I feel like I have enough matches I can afford to discard one here and there when they seem to be low compliance.

Ya that's fine.

I'm not really a newbie in terms of going out on dates, yeah,

After about 3 years, I've been on a few dozen dates

That's next to nothing man.

Like even if you said 100 dates in 3 years id say that number is low.

I'm not even talking about lays. I'm saying you've barely been on dates.

Like the way to get better is to go on a fuck ton of dates. Make mistakes and learn all the nuisances of pulling girls and escalating.

and 1-2 potential leads (date rescheduled for this weekend)

That's not that much tbh. Especially for the Valentine's Day weekend. I have 6 leads for the weekend. 3 dates schedule and I'm deferring every other girl now.

Not saying this to brag. I'm trying to illustrate the point. 1 or 2 leads is not the same as 6.

You've been online for roughly 9-10x longer than I have but your date count is below mine.


I want you to think about this. The way to get better is to go on lots of dates.

It's all reps. I know you're not dumb.
Just realize how much you're slowing down your progress by not going on more dates.

It was pretty routine for me to go on 10 dates per week in October. That's per week. It took me 4 weeks to get 7 lays doing that and I was basically a total noob back then.

Volume is probably one of the most important contributors to your success in dating. There's looks, confidence and VOLUME.

you need tons of it.
It completely rewires the brain to have that many dates that fast.


My point is: I know you're serious about this stuff but in my mind you're not doing as much as you could be doing.

You should be landing way more dates.

You don't have to listen to anything I said. Like I said its an invite to raise your standard.

If you are fine with how things are going. Continue on. I just think pretty much everyone here except for maybe Crisis_Overcomer and colgate needs to increase the number of girls they talk to.

 

[Manganiello]

So I guess my question is, are girls who say this ever worth my time? Or is unmatching them the second they say it fine?

Just unmatch. Those girls will go nowhere.
The only way Ive seen a guy get those girls out is by doing a mini 20 minute facetime date before he takes them to the actual date.

Edit for context: this is before she says "let's get to know each other first". He's doing this with every girl before he proposes the first actual date. He pretty much never gets flaked on.



But... generally those girls are a total waste of time. Your better off talking to other girls.

 

[Squilliam]

Thanks for your reply Manganiello. As mentioned in my PM (message is in my outbox, not sure if it went through), I appreciate your advice. I realize my volume is quite pathetic. I've gotten complacent lately due to my interactions with STEM girl. She's been so unbelievably into me, no girl has wanted me like this before.

I am still working on looksmaxxing and my photos. I'm sure I'm capable of getting way more matches than what I have now.

But... generally those girls are a total waste of time. Your better off talking to other girls.

Exactly. 160 matches in a month might not be that crazy, but keep in mind that I unmatched a lot of people. I can afford to lose a match here and there.

 

[Aspire2Greatness]

Squilliam what's the population number in your current location?
Had I gotten to 160 matches per month I'd be going on as many dates as I possibly could, and I have been getting maybe 20-30 matches in two months..

For reference I live in a town with 35k inhabitants.

 

[Rags2Bitches]

@Squilliam what's the population number in your current location?

lol

For reference I live in a town with 35k inhabitants.

you should think about ways to change that at any cost. with an optimized profile (and your current first pic) you would have a crazy dating life in any western metropolis and you'd be a god in brazil or colombia. you can use tinder passport or vpn to see for yourself

 

[Holden]

I honestly don't see the point of this thread. Now you're wasting time asking if you should waste time with these chicks. Why not try it for yourself?

Nowadays I'm hardcore screening for enthusiastic "yes-girls" but early on I put up with some bullshit from "maybe-girls" just to get some experience. I think that was valuable in hindsight.

 

[Aspire2Greatness]

@Squilliam what's the population number in your current location?

lol

For reference I live in a town with 35k inhabitants.

you should think about ways to change that at any cost. with an optimized profile (and your current first pic) you would have a crazy dating life in any western metropolis and you'd be a god in brazil or colombia. you can use tinder passport or vpn to see for yourself

Well shit. This post alone has had me thinking of ways to relocate to a bigger city. For what it's worth I've figured that having experience as a live sound engineer and bartender can land me jobs basically anywhere.

 

[Squilliam]

I honestly don't see the point of this thread. Now you're wasting time asking if you should waste time with these chicks. Why not try it for yourself?

Nowadays I'm hardcore screening for enthusiastic "yes-girls" but early on I put up with some bullshit from "maybe-girls" just to get some experience. I think that was valuable in hindsight.

Point taken. I have tried it, in my experience it seems like a waste of time. I wanted to know if anybody had a different experience.

I think I'll just try to setup the date with them when they say this, and if they refuse to schedule a time then I will just leave them on read and then block them.

@Squilliam what's the population number in your current location?
Had I gotten to 160 matches per month I'd be going on as many dates as I possibly could, and I have been getting maybe 20-30 matches in two months..

For reference I live in a town with 35k inhabitants.

8 million people. My photos and appearance are nowhere near optimized. I'm 40 days into my self improvement journey.

160 matches but 95% of them don't respond and/or are timewasters. Then again I've probably unmatched at least 100 girls in that timeframe.