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Living the dream/ Phase 1 - The first crossroads

Ali

Ali

Member
Joined
Jun 20, 2022
I lost my virginity this Monday to an escort, I was super nervous and barely got it up but I guess I fucking managed it.
I live in a small town in the UK and am have struggled with severe social anxiety for all of my life.
This changed a few years ago when I got a new job and made new friends, I'm good at what I do and those who know me think I'm a pretty hardworking guy with a lot of potential.
However I still have a fuck ton of anxiety around dating and women and if I don't act now this shit will destroy me.

So here goes:
What I've done this week: Got some good gym sessions in and started to cut bodyfat, saw an escort and swiped the card, tried to go to a local improv group (it wasn't running), Swiped a bunch and am currently talking to some chubby and some fat girls on Tinder.
I asked one of the better looking ones if she's free this weekend but she ghosted, one of the bigger ones seems very nice and up for a date this Sunday which I'll do and see what happens, another one who is quite pretty sais she's free next week so I'll see where that goes.

Goals for the weekend:
1 Read and implement the tinder guide: get a camera and good photos
2 Keep loosing fat - one of my mates is a dietician so i'll be starting a diet plan with him this Sunday to avoid loosing my hard-earned muscle mass
3 Send off for bloodwork tests - I have low T symptoms and if test gives me more drive that will be brilliant
4 Organise trip to October-fest with mates
5 Two solid workouts
6 Start a Hinge profile
7 Go to a Meetup group on Saturday and talk to some women - even if just in a friendly way
8 Maintain healthy food and keep up my skincare routine

For 2022 I want to get laid 'organically' at least twice

Will update this tomorrow,

Cheers
 
Workout done- starting to look pretty jacked
Diet done- should have got more protein in today though
Holiday planning was a bit of a disaster, didn't realise we had a massive passport backlog in the UK haha
Played guitar for an hour too and had a bit of a breakthrough being able to do fingerpicking without gross nails and still get a good tone
Went to a Meetup in Oxford and talked to some women- done; actually had a pretty good time talking to a couple of milfs but bottled it when I could have asked for their number- obviously the idea of hooking up is pretty alien to me even though one of them was giving me some pretty good signs
DSLR camera has also arrived and I boosted and blind swiped a couple hundred times on Tinder while I was in the city
This time last year driving into a city and meeting a group of strangers would have given me an anxiety attack so I guess I've never been better but I still feel like I'm just existing; not living.
Anyway a fairly successful day

Cheers
 
Decent day Sunday:
Got diet cosultation and am keeping an eating log this week: Im about 112kg and 29% bodyfat if im consistent with this weightloss i have so much potential to glow up lets go!
Bigger girl from Tinder didnt message back but i'm actually getting a few matches from my swiping sprees
Camera has arrived and am lerning to use it: I will take at least one photo of myself tomorrow
Downloaded hinge and will start account
Ran today and did a brutalleg session yesterday so workouts are on point
I also updated my CV and applied for a job in Brighton which has a population about 20 times the size of my town haha
Guitar playing is goig well too

Goals for the week:
PRIORITY: New Tinder, Bumble and Hinge photos
Hunt for better jobs in UK cities - being in a small town is not sustainable as im gonna need to start cold approaching
Apply for secondment opportunity at work
Loose 1kg, keep up cardio and hypertrophy sessions
Keep up higher groming standards and skincare routine
Go to salsa dancing on Thursday
Go out Friday to see friends
Go to another Meetup on Saturday and talk to another woman
Try to set up another date on Sunday with another big girl im talking to
 
NICE

Brighton is a great place, I like it a lot. Very friendly people, and beautiful girls.

They're a lot nicer there than in London ;-)

I think it'd be a good move.

Otherwise, keep working, get jacked and lean, and the anxiety around women stuff was me for 30 years dude.

It just normalises and slips way in time.

Get successes, and you will heal.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
NICE

Brighton is a great place, I like it a lot. Very friendly people, and beautiful girls.

They're a lot nicer there than in London ;-)

I think it'd be a good move.

Otherwise, keep working, get jacked and lean, and the anxiety around women stuff was me for 30 years dude.

It just normalises and slips way in time.

Get successes, and you will heal.

MAC
Click to expand...

Thanks so much man, it was your log that inspired me to start here and start this journey
Let's crush it this year!
 
Gym done: there is an elite physique under this fat haha
Contacted someone who read my CV and says they have some job openings that might be a good fit for me
Been playing around with my camera, got some good shots of stuff around the garden but not of myself as the remote lead is too short- must fix this.
I also need to learn to pose, especially in a way that makes me look leaner. It might be worth waiting till I get a good night sleep to take some more photos as I'm on the early shift this week and look shattered :shock:

Diet is both healthy and I'm loosing weight without loosing too much strength so my body composition should be improving

Tomorrow:
I'm only doing half an hour of cardio so I can afford a harsher calorie deficit
Have a sauna and an early night
Tidy room up
Add a few points to my CV

Another match rolled in on Tinder and asked two girls out for drinks so will see what happens.
Also still swiping and will boost again Friday/Saturday
 
Cardio done - spent 30mins on the rowing machine, sent my distance to my brother who posted back beating my results! 8000m in 30mins will fall and I will win this competition :twisted:
Diet done
Played some guitar and had a good sauna session
Also talked to a recruiter about a job opportunity near West-London which would be sick, hopefully my skillset is more valuable than I thought - I work as a lab analyst
One of my Tinder leads has come through and hopefully we'll go for a drink on Saturday!
Swiped a bunch more today too

Failed to tidy my room so will have to do this on the weekend

Going to salsa tomorrow which will be scary but fuck it
Will buy a boost when I'm in Oxford tomorrow too
 
Sewerdog said:
MakingAComeback said:
NICE

Brighton is a great place, I like it a lot. Very friendly people, and beautiful girls.

They're a lot nicer there than in London ;-)

I think it'd be a good move.

Otherwise, keep working, get jacked and lean, and the anxiety around women stuff was me for 30 years dude.

It just normalises and slips way in time.

Get successes, and you will heal.

MAC
Click to expand...

Thanks so much man, it was your log that inspired me to start here and start this journey
Let's crush it this year!
Click to expand...

Damn, that is absolutely amazing to hear. I am honoured by that bro, thank you for sharing that with me.

You will of course absolutely crush, just keep showing up, don't quit, and pretty much anyone can achieve and accomplish progressively larger goals.

You are doing well, keep working, and a lot of good will come!

MAC
 
Diet was a success
Workout was solid - managing to hold on to strength despite dropping weight and adding in a bunch of cardio
Booked in with a therapist in a couple of weeks to tackle anxiety and negative thoughts - specifically fear of rejection
I also have another call with a recruiter tomorrow to expand the job search
Salsa - I was exhausted from gym and 5am start and used this as an excuse to bottle it like a dickhead
Ordered a proper wireless remote for my camera
Got two more matches on tinder - messaged one, the other is about 2000miles away smh. Pretty pleased my mate got a Tinder date so will see how he manages to overcome our garbage tier small-town logistics
Octoberfest is a go! Heading to London in two weeks to get my passport renewed: Come late Sept I will be pretty jacked and ready to hit on some tavern wenches!
Anxiety was high today but I'm getting better at stopping negative thought patterns by just switching my focus as soon as I catch myself. I also need to keep to just one coffee in the morning otherwise I start spiralling
Also researching tretinoin and red-light therapy as I have pretty sun-damaged skin (anyone have success with this?)

Tomorrow:
Half day at work so can lie-in and recharge a bit
Running 5K with my mate
Call recruiter about job in Oxford
Have dinner with the fam
Will go hang out with friends at an open mic - goal to socialise with women, will also see my female friends which is nice and makes me feel like a normal human being haha

Saturday I will get at least two decent photos even if it takes hours
 
OK so got my first set of pics, feel free to review, some are probably garbage and will have to find better locations in future!
 
Great effort and props for taking action

Not a bad looking man, should get good levels of success.

No weak links tbh. Just keep losing weight and hitting the gym.

Style needs work, Radical's style guide is your next action.

Pictures are a great start and will keep getting better.

Location matters, can't be in your house like this.

Well done, you will suceed. I am impressed by the dedication so far.

You'll make it man

MAC
 
Yo thanks man! realised the house ones were shit so just did some garden ones haha
 
Had a good end to this week my Tinder 2.0 has got me 12 matches after running a boost and swiping a couple hundred times and my upgraded Bumble has actually got me this girls number. Also the direct messaging in the Tinder guide is so much better- turns out calling girls hot/sexy/cute gets a pretty good response from them and I've got two compliments for being forwards and direct.
Lost 1kg this week which I am pleased with
Bought Radical's style guide and will implement that following MakingAComeback's advice
Got a date tomorrow after work with one of my female friends I asked out for a drink, she's actually lost some weight herself and is looking better for it- I'm not sure how it will go but will just focus on having a nice time.

Goals for the week:
OLD:
Swipe 100 times a day and use all 5 superlikes, Boost Thur, Fri, Sat, Sun - have put location to Oxford and will experiment with the range
Use all my Bumble swipes every day
Spam 50 girls/day on Hinge

Looksmaxxing:
Keep loosing weight - goal is to loose another kg this week
Go gym 4 times and keep up cardio 2-3 times
Start mewing
Healthy diet with plenty of quality protein, fruits, greens, fish oil
Book in with a dermatologist
Watch and implement the style guide - Go into Oxford n buy new clothes on Fri
Get pictures in better locations - not around the house, will go to a local park when it's pretty quiet
Talk to recruiters about job vacancies - My location is cucking me big time, for some reason I'm getting matches 50 plus miles away even when I set it to 20 fml
 
OLD:
Tinder 2.0 has got me 30 matches since my boost on Sunday and more are trickling in every day, the downside is that they are mostly overweight or below my looks threshold and about 40 miles away. Some decent ones are starting to match with me which is great but they are less responsive to the message template (I've been using the 'Hey you're cute/very cute/sexy'- depending on how attractive they are 'i'm __, watcha up to.'
Bumble 2.0 has actually got me a number (using the same template messages) but she didn't respond to my follow-up text that I sent the next day. I'm getting some likes on there now but I cant see as I have the free version. I'm also using all my swipes
Hinge- I failed to meet my target on this, for some reason the app wouldn't upload my photos so I re-installed it

Social circle:
My date went pretty well yesterday, conversation was really good and we had a good time, went for a drink and then some Thai food. She actually said she was nervous because she found me attractive which was a big ego boost. She said she would have invited me back for tea but the place is 'a bit of a tip.' I didn't really know what I wanted from the experience as I don't feel super attracted to her but I was honest when she asked and told her I didn't have a plan and just wanted to have a good time. First date in two years though and it went really well considering, drove home feeling refreshed and full of endorphins, it was nice to make a human connection. Note: I feel a lot of pressure with social circle dating due to my lack of experience and fear of making a tit of myself.

Weight is coming off
Still holding muscle
Diet is healthy

To do:
I'm going to go to Brighton for my birthday this weekend and will see some family. This will give me an opportunity to use my boosts in a much bigger city and I'll set my location before-hand and try to get matches and maybe even dates when I'm down there.
Will find some social events on Meetup and talk to strangers with the goal of one woman a night
Will walk around on the 'frontline' to expose myself to women in a high-volume area
Buy clothes after watching the style guide
Better photo's - location
Read the AA program

My next OLD iteration will have me leaner, better dressed and with better locations and hopefully I can get consistent matches with a higher echelon of women.
 
OLD:
Tinder: targets met and sent a load of messages. Have just run a boost with Brighton set as my location and matches are coming in.
Bumble: ended up talking to this girl, things escalated very quickly. She asked for a dick pic on snapchat then ghosted lol (really starting to understand the benefits of being lean now haha). I wasn't comfortable doing it but put myself up to bat anyway - this is a big mental shift even if nothing comes of it, her account was verified so hopefully wasn't a catfish
Hinge: failed again but messaging on Tinder is taking up a fair part of my day.

Looksmaxxing:
Cardio smashed and set a new pr on the rower.

Life:
Went for dinner with the family as my sister was down for the day

Tomorrow I'll be going down to Brighton
 
OLD:
Tinder is still generating a bunch of matches and when I'm not mass-swiping I've started to be a bit more choosy.
Had a trans straight up ask to fuck but I'm not down- said thanks for the compliment though.
Bumble has no new matches but I'm getting likes. (On free version so can't see them)
Hinge: been putting this off till I get new photos

I'm mostly using the template messages but sometimes I'll get drawn into talking about random stuff, screening seems increasingly valuable as my current profile is good at getting convos going but not numbers. I'm talking to about 15 different girls rn and it feels like hard work lol, Until I loose more weight it feels like I'll be spinning my wheels for a while. Got to be content with small victories.

Looksmaxxing:
Workout done
Diet done- gonna have to watch it though, theres so much good food down here!
Dermatologist booked for Aug 3rd- want to try to find one sooner so will keep looking- I also wear sun block now.
Bought black jeans, grey jeans, 2 slim fit black t-shirts, also got some shades. Keeping it simple as I am retarded when it comes to fashion. Want to get a bracelet, some rings and an ear piercing for more edge.

Brighton is so nice in the summer, I've never wanted to be rich so much before but looking at the penthouse flats walking back from the beach makes me feel like I'm missing out.

Found a bar crawl on Meetup tm so looking forwards to that.
 
Got back from Brighton:
Weekend started well but ended on a sad note - we've got to get my gran into a home and it's going to be really difficult driving back and forth to sort out all the legal shit ect. No use whining though just got to step up and get her the care she needs.

OLD:
Took a bunch of new photos and found a decent one where I'm not making a double-chin and have good lighting- also tried to upgrade my style but early days yet. This feels like an uphill battle until I loose more weight for better pics
Tinder: I've got about 90 matches over the weekend, about 20 being not overweight or too far away. Of those 20 none of them agreed to go for a drink before I left - Need to stick to the template, screen hard for time wasters and aim straight for getting their number. (Why do so many girls just want to have aimless conversations that go nowhere lmao)
Bumble: swiped but no matches, got new likes but doubt they're attractive haha
Hinge: Account is up but failed messaging

Looksmaxxing:
Gym: Lost deadlift strength but I think I can get it back, everything else is ok
Cardio: Going really well, did a lot of swimming in the sea
Weight loss: only down by half a kilo but I now have a 2-pac, will be training hard this week so 108kg is in sight (I was actually up at 120 in Feb)
Diet: Has been fairly healthy, still need more greens though
Skincare: I've been using some retinol- want to get my hands on tretinoin as that's supposed to be stronger
Will keep using saunas and cold showers too for general health

My biggest challenge right now is location. To solve this I must a)find a job in a big city b)build a skill-set/business that will let me move around and be financially independent. I don't have a degree and my work experience is basically from working in a lab - honestly its going to be really hard leaving a stable job where I work with good people and am really valued by my department, but its going to be worse having no women and it's going to be even worse being older and in the same situation.
My best skills right now are being good enough at guitar to teach people and being knowledgeable enough in the gym to train people so I can always do this for more money if I have to take a pay cut.

This week:
Keep loosing weight 1kg per week while maintaining muscle
Use new photo and hit OLD numbers
Build guitar skills
Go to 2 social events and talk to women
Gym *4 Cardio*2
Incorporate greens into diet
Go to London on Fri to get new passport
Re-do CV and talk to more recruiters
 
New tinder pic, may try growing the beard out and trying some more in 2 weeks when I'm leaner
 
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