Lost 104 lbs and got a FT office job, still a virgin at 21.

1prctbetterdaily

1prctbetterdaily

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Joined
Jan 4, 2023
I was 286 lbs on New Year’s Day 2019 and today I’m 181.9 lbs, my lowest weight since 7th grade. I graduated a semester early w/ an economics degree and found a job as a pricing analyst. I’m making an average income and save $$. But my dating life is horrendous. I’m a virgin at 21 and I don’t know where to meet women my age in person besides college, bars/clubs, or via day game. I like warm approach but meetup groups tend to have women significantly older than me. And online dating has been very frustrating for me as well.

I get 1-5 matches a day online but have a VERY high flake rate, it took almost 80 Hinge matches since late March for me to get a date last Tuesday that lead nowhere. I’m autistic and really struggle with the social aspect of dating and I’m finding that looksmaxxing alone hasn’t fixed my dating life. I’m working on getting down to 170 and building muscle, but I know that I need to work on my social skills. I fear that all the looksmaxxing on earth won’t compensate for being autistic. Because girls are initially interested in me but they pretty much all flake at one point. I know online is competitive but I think this is more than online being tough. Because I get matches yet barely any dates. I’m at a dead end and I don’t know where to go from here. Besides improving my looks and money, I’m at a loss.
 
hey 1prctbetterdaily, awesome job on the weight loss!


what have you tried so far, specifically with women, to get laid?

i see you have a dating profile, but without you posting it or sharing some more detail about experiences you've had on there, or with talking to and touching women in the real world, we are gonna have a hard time helping you get laid!

also asking because there's a fairly normal sequence of progression -eye contact, talking, flirting, hugging, dating/getting to know, kissing, holding hands, making out, groping, fun with hands, fun with mouths, sex, BDSM, threesomes, harems, and everything else- that guys go through on their journey towards being sexually experienced
-
this sequence can take anywhere from ten minutes to ten days to ten years, with many steps being skippable, but it's a nice reference for where you are experience-wise and what might be a good idea to try next
 
Check out "Playing with fire" on youtube for text game mate. It helped me a lot.
 
Hey Brad 1prctbetterdaily

Big ups on the weight loss and asking for help on here man.
What are your goals with dating specifically man?

We would need to know what your dating profile(s) look like including picture(s).
Also what and/or how have you tried speaking to women in general?

If you want more specific help on this jakeD has a point.
Try creating a log with what your specific goals are in dating and what you've tried to achieve them (your dating profile pictures, your warm approach attempts et cetera.)
 
Great job on the weight loss and getting a job

I'm curious how you think your symptoms of autism present themselves. You write pretty well here

It seems like your bottleneck is converting matches to dates. 80 matches for one date is a very lopsided ratio.

Just writing boring "how are you" "what do you study" x5 then "pass your number let's go on a date" should be getting better results for a date than that

(if you're using Andy's template, get rid of the "I'm looking for something casual" at the end, that one fucking kills conversion for no benefit to anyone)

Your best path to improvement here is to post as many screenshots of chats you've had as possible
 
1prctbetterdaily said:
I was 286 lbs on New Year’s Day 2019 and today I’m 181.9 lbs, my lowest weight since 7th grade. I graduated a semester early w/ an economics degree and found a job as a pricing analyst. I’m making an average income and save $$. But my dating life is horrendous. I’m a virgin at 21 and I don’t know where to meet women my age in person besides college, bars/clubs, or via day game. I like warm approach but meetup groups tend to have women significantly older than me. And online dating has been very frustrating for me as well.

I get 1-5 matches a day online but have a VERY high flake rate, it took almost 80 Hinge matches since late March for me to get a date last Tuesday that lead nowhere. I’m autistic and really struggle with the social aspect of dating and I’m finding that looksmaxxing alone hasn’t fixed my dating life. I’m working on getting down to 170 and building muscle, but I know that I need to work on my social skills. I fear that all the looksmaxxing on earth won’t compensate for being autistic. Because girls are initially interested in me but they pretty much all flake at one point. I know online is competitive but I think this is more than online being tough. Because I get matches yet barely any dates. I’m at a dead end and I don’t know where to go from here. Besides improving my looks and money, I’m at a loss.
Click to expand...

Firstly...........I was a virgin until 29, which was when I started coaching with Andy (had 9 lays so far 1FWB, 100+ dates, 1000+ approaches, lost 80lbs, gained muscle, looksmaxxed hard as fuck) and am also likely on the spectrum

It won't stop you, trust me

I learned to be better socially. Still working in it.

Well done on taking action

Work hard

YOU WILL SUCCEED

Rooting for you

MAC
 
21 is still very young. You were overweight for most of your life and are playing catch up right now. A lot of young men spend their 20s doing that.

In my experience, knowing how to conduct myself on dates was necessary to get most women interested in me. Like you, I was pretty inexperienced in dating and I went on a bunch of dates that went nowhere. With some help from this board and some trial and error I figured out how to act and been banging about 1 out of every 2 dates now.

Anyway, I think your problem right now is you’re not getting a lot of dates. That puts a lot of pressure on you and gives you less chances to experiment to find out what works. You probably need to either improve your profile, improve your looks, or lower your standards (practice dates are not a bad idea.) Hard to say which without seeing your profile.

Once you’re getting more chances you can try and tweak how you’re acting. For me it took only a few changes to make a big difference.
 
Taking a quick glance at you and your post, I’m very confident that your current challenges are going to be very short-lived.

Start a log, I see a lot of potential in you. You’ve already taken massive action. Looking forward to watching your journey!
 
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