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Matfal's log

Matfal

Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2023
My backstory (I probably should have talked about this to an expert but I didn't, so you're the first to know me):

At 12 I started to have acne (face, neck, head, back, shoulders and chest; not everywhere at once, with time it was progressing) and once during PE my friend pointed it to me and I started to be conscoius of it. My thoughts - they're looking at me and thinking I was disgusting and they didn't want to look at me. I had few close freinds and was just living in seclusion. In high school same situation. In 2017 started taking strong pills and in april 2018 I had 0 acne, but I was still the same person as before. During 4 years in school I didn't went out ecen once wherever, I just watched yt, anime and read a lot of books and light novels. Graduated school 3 years ago and because of my nice parents I didn't do anything during these years.


Adding a few points:
-never had gf and didn't do anything with a girl
-because of lack of social exposure I have difficult times just picking up my phone, calling someone, eating in public or holding eye contact with family (with strangers I can do it)

On the positive note last year I approached 3 women
1st: -hey, how are you -she stopped walking looked at me and I said -you're [name}, rght? She looked at me weirdly and started walking again.
2nd: saw this red haired girl enter the store in the mall, was waiting for her for a while but I just left and after few minutes I saw her walking in my directions and when she was close I said -hey, I don't want to be weird (or something like that) but I like your hair -thank you [moment of silence] -Were you inspired by something? -no, just like that [moment of silence] anything else? -no, it's everything bye
3rd: same mall one month later I saw this girl in one place, walked 3 circles around the mall and and in the same place I went in -hey, I feel like I'm going to regret it later if I don't do it so I wanted to say you're really pretty -thank you (she was really smiling looking at her skin around eyes) but I have a boyfreind -oh, ok, that's fine




07 August 2023, I got a job (or rather an intership) , pay is horrible so I want to change it

11 August 2023 Complimented 1 girl, she didn't say anyting and looked at me like I was a bug ;)

12 August 2023 All about being willing to look stupid - approached a girl who was with a friend, said she was pretty, names exchange,
what they were doing and I didn't know what to say so I just left

19 August 2023 Approached 1 girl - her looks didn't match her age

25 August 2023 Approached 1 girl, only small talk
At my current job (still intership) I need to pick up phones and sometimes call others so it's became easier for me

26 August 2023 I had one chance to talk but didn't do it. In nearest town there is an event so I'm going to try do something tomorrow.
 
Hey buddy welcome to the club

You've done yourself a great service by posting here. You are very young and can turn everything around these next few years.

Dont let yourself become the guy who is 30 and cant hold eye contact with family. I was on my way there. It is DOOM.

cya around bud
 
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