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Meet&Shake’s Pornfree Journal

My wesbite is now and up and running! After a long time (and a fair chunk of procrastination), my tutoring site is live. I've gotten some great feedback to take on board and I'll make the fixes over the weekend. In the future I'll start to make content advertising my services and hopefully I'll drum up some further business. A big step was achieved today.

I also hit a 125kg deadlift today, hitting a new PR. I still feel like I haven't exhausted newbie gains yet so I'll keep going until I either hit the intermediate levels or hit 1,2,3,4.

I'm glad I'm writing today. I was feeling a bit down in the dumps and tired all day but looking back, I accomplished a couple of really big goals. Reflecting and appreciating those achievements at the end of the day is a nice little way to make me feel good before bed and prepare me for an even better tomorrow.

6/10 day - strong porn temptations but I'm not giving up. 3 days into the new streak and I'm going to meditate as soon as I post this update. Peace!
 
What started out as being a bit of a shitty day ended up being excellent. I’ve been feeling frustrated and burnt out with work and students being difficult. I decided to take the day off to recooperate. I spent most of the morning lounging around in bed, watching youtube and tiktoks and feeling sorry for myself. I’m not sure if helped exactly, but giving myself a few hours to indulge did eventually get me to snap out of this lazy behaviour and make the most of the rest of the day.

After about 3pm, I decided I needed to do some stuff, so I shut down my devices, meditated for a good 30 minutes and then went for a walk with my sister to the nearby lake. We spent a good hour walking, releaxing and swapping stories. Getting away from the house and all the tech was a nice mental refresh and I felt much better afterwards. Maybe I would have snapped out of the negative thinking patterns sooner had I not spent the morning in front of a screen, but what’s done is done. No point in feeling bad about it, better to make something useful out of the day.

We then went to see a movie. Again, a nice little break from home. I finished up with dinner and did a bit more Hindi practice. I’ve been approaching it slowly, doing a little bit (even as little as 5 minutes everyday). I’m feeling a lot more confident in this attempt. Speaking little bits here and there to my GF and family. I’m learning it like a child learns a language - a few words, maybe a sentence or two. Making plenty of grammar mistakes, but hitting lesson 5 and taking some time to review flashcards and old lessons is helping to make what I learned stick.

All in all, a pretty great day. 7/10 - no porn temptations at all, I realise. Day 4 of the new streak is complete and day 5 is right around the corner. I’m making progress!
 
I’ve been away for a couple of days, but I’m happy to report that I have achieved another week of being porn free. Some peeking, yes, but less than last week and I’ve no temptation to continue into this week! August is going strong. I can definitely see myself hitting 2 weeks and I’m aiming to just go for the whole month without PMO. My GF is coming back home this week, so I’ll take a rest from sexual activity so we can enjoy ourselves on the weekend.

Some other big achievements of the week: I hit a 125KG deadlift for 5 and a 90KG bench for 3. I’m so so close to hitting 100KG, hopefully by the end of summer and then hitting 100KG for 5 by September’s end, cinching another goal in my 1234 lifting goal. I’ve finished “The Power of Letting Go”, which has helped me to really stick to my meditation habit, and I’ve now started a book called “The Man Who Couldn’t Stop”, a biography about growing up with OCD and how it goes on to affect people. It’s giving me ideas about how our limited understanding of disease can lead to stigma and inappropriate treatment for patients, which is related to some work I’m doing at medical school. Maybe it’s something I can develop further?

I’ve been making progress on my Hindi learning, my journaling and all the habits I’m tracking with my tracker app. I don’t hit everything everyday, but as long as I try not to let a one day miss become a two day no streak, I generally do pretty well with keeping up on my goals and making progress slowly but surely.

My internet usage is fluctuating. On work days I barely use social media and YouTube, but on my days off I can easily hit 6-8 hours of screen time if I don’t have any plans with friends. I’m not really sure where I can make progress on this goal, but I think I’ll focus on it soon. It does provide a nice distraction from porn. Also, while I do want to give up porn entirely, I do still want the internet to be a part of my life. Although I’d like my time on here to be more fulfilling and active, rather than passively scrolling through the same 3 apps.

Work is gonna be busy this week, but I’ve made weekend plans and will be enjoying a long deserved holiday afterwards. I haven’t had a solid week off for an entire year. I’ve either been balancing medical school, summer work or both. I’m looking forward to the opportunity to recharge.

All in all, a pretty great weekend and the start to a pretty great week. 7/10 - 50% temptations to PMO over the course of the weekend, but feeling strong today.
 
Part of accountability is coming clean. Today I had massive urges to watch porn and I gave into those desires. This went behind peaking and I think I sat and edged for about an hour all told. Fortunately I had enough self control and willpower at the time to stop myself, reinstall the blocker apps to my devices, delete Reddit from my phone and get out the house for a 2 hour workout session. If nothing else, I'm very proud of myself for pulling myself back from the edge. In the past, I would've said “fuck it” and gave into my urges. But it seems the rewiring is doing its job.

Yesterday I came across a 14 part video series on quitting porn. I like the presenter's balanced take and have resonated a lot with his second video about going hard mode on quitting. If I continue to peek and edge, I'm just doing to hinder my recovery. Up until now, I could manage this “half recovery “ I've been attempting, but now I realise that my progress would not last or be significant until I quit viewing any sort of porn for a prolonged time. No more half measures, I'm going to stop viewing porn, even peeking.

I've managed well for the rest of the day. I'll have an early night, as tiredness, along with boredom, are huge triggers for me. I'll also continue to watch an episode of the series for the next 12 days as a reward and as an opportunity to learn more useful things for my long term recovery. Catch you guys tomorrow
 
It’s been a little while since my last update, so let me fill you guys in.

My girlfriend is back home! We spent the day together. I gave her her birthday presents (which she’s been raving about for the last couple days), we got brunch, chilled and went for a little drive and caught up in the park. One of the things I love most about her is that, when we’re together, it feels like no time has passed at all. We’ve been apart for more than a month but, once we were together again, it felt like it had only been a day since we’ve last seen each other. We still had loads to talk about, we flirted non stop, we smiled, we laughed. It was perfect.

The sex was also amazing. I’ve successfully hit 14 days PMO free and I can truly see the benefits of keeping away from porn. Erections were no issue, I was able to go multiple rounds, and I was so incredibly horny. It was that primal sort of urge to be together, I loved it. Even if all the other benefits turn out to be crap, the direct benefits to my sex life are enough reward to stay away from porn.

I’m aiming to go the rest of the month PMO free. The sex breaks won’t be nearly as long, so I can always indulge there if the urges build up. Happily we both have very high sex drives, so we’ll always be down if the other person is. Right now, I’m currently on a short family holiday in a coastal town a few hours from home. Plus side to this is that I get to fully relax and unwind after 3 years of constant work and uni. It also makes being porn-free a lot easier, as I’m in a new environment. And then when I’m back, I get to reward myself with another amazing weekend with my girl.

This is about day 15 of this new streak, day 45 of progress made. Urges are becoming easier to manage. I’m thinking about porn and being pornfree less and less. I’ll keep going on this journal daily, or at least mostly daily, for about 3 months, once a solid reboot is achieved. Then I’ll just do weekly updates and focus on other important goals. It’s good to be back!
 
Day 3 of our coastal holiday. I checked out the gyms yesterday. Oh boy, were they basic as fuck. They had one bench, two dumbbells with about 10kg in weights (with a connector bar to turn the whole contraption into a barbell), and three kettlebells, all with incorrect weights (I could lateral raise the 15kg kettlebell like it was nothing!). I had to jerry-rig the whole set up to make it somewhat challenging. I probably won’t be getting a decent work out here, but I can manage a week or so with minor gym workouts.

We spent the day doing touristy things: playing mini-golf, checking out a model village, making dinner and playing card games. Not exactly a sexy lifestyle, but I enjoyed it. Getting to spend quality time with family is important to me. I’ve been limiting my internet time while i’ve been here, focusing on being present and reading books when i have some spare time. I’ve finished my book about OCD - a really interesting read with a bit of an anticlimactic end - and have started on the “Charisma Myth”. As I continue to work on being more social and popular, I could do with learning some techniques to become more charismatic and socially confident. The very first exercise they suggest is practising mindfulness to become more present in conversations. A basic idea, but it’s very interesting how so many of the things I’ve read or experienced lately benefit from becoming more mindful. I feel like so many of my mental health issues can be solved with some combination of mindfulness and CBT, we’ll see how that goes.

Final observation: I’ve managed to identify and surpass a PMO trigger: stress. My parents go into an argument at the end of the day. Tension was palpable. I felt uncomfortable and stressed out and wanted to escape. I went to the bathroom, took out my phone and was about to start scrolling through NSFW subreddits, but then I paused. I remembered a video I saw saying that “when we feel triggered, we need to stop and think, what would directly relieve the negative feeling or emotion I’m feeling?”. If I’m feeling stressed, I need to take a moment to relax and stop feeling stressed. So I sat in the bathroom, chilled out for a few minutes, then played a card game with everyone. The anxiety peaked, then decreased until it was nothing after about 10 minutes. It wasn’t instant relief, but I feel better now having not indulged in PMO.

Day 16 conquered! 7/10 day.
 
Today marks the last day of my holiday. I’ve done some incredibly fun things, including trying out paddle boarding for the first time. I’ve got to spend a fantastic week with my family, putting work and other responsibilities to one side for a short while to enjoy being in the moment. The mindfulness exercises I’ve been doing have been helping a lot in enjoying the present and I think I’ve come to appreciate this holiday a lot more as a result.

Sadly, porn has been a regular temptation. I spend last night and a bit of tonight peeking and edging. Not for long periods, but accountability of any kind is important. I know stress is one trigger, and I’ve been doing well to manage my mental health. At the moment, the biggest trigger is simply just arousal. I’m too horny and I’m not getting a lot of privacy in the hotel we’re staying at. It’s been causing me to have some rather unproductive thoughts and frustrations.

A really helpful guide I’ve been following is the sexual self mastery course on YouTube. The guide has some really great ideas about how to manage triggers and temptations. Being kind and doing simple, easy things to distract your brain, let the feelings pass and move on have been great. For the manageable triggers, it’s been insanely helpful. It’s just managing the bigger ones that usually come at night. Maybe I need more sleep, or to just have more of a wind down before going to sleep.
 
A pretty productive day today. I hit a 120kg squat at the gym today, did some teaching, and made some ramen for lunch. I’ve started organising the study resources I’ll need going back into medical school. I’m trying to streamline my studying my focusing on flashcards and practice tests and de-emphasising the note taking aspect of revision.

Staying pornfree. Some slight temptations at a couple points in the day, but staying mindful and distracting myself for a little bit helped to ease that off with no major worries. All in all, a pretty good day! 6/10
 
Some bad news. Over the last couple days, I relapsed hard. Each evening and night I would get huge urges, triggered by arousal, stress and tiredness. I would binge on tiktok, reddit, and escalating to porn sites and edge for hours, staying up until 1 or 2am. On the 23rd, I finally released, as all other attempts, I edged for hours and pulled myself away from the ejaculation. I don’t think this helped all that much, but it was still a change from relapsing hard after trying to pull myself away from the edge.

But some good news! I haven’t noticed the porn binges too negatively affecting my sex life. I’m able to get good erections, get condoms on, ejaculate with my partner. I haven’t noticed a huge loss in sensitivity. I can still have sex. However, it’s not nearly as fulfilling as the sex I have when I have taken a break from PMO. I’ve also noticed myself slipping into a more negative mindset and being less productive than I could otherwise be.

So I’m making another attempt. I’m 2 days into a new streak, 52 days into making pornfree progress. It’s useful for me to learn what mistakes I made from the previous attempt. For me, it was letting myself peek and building up the temptation. I previously tried to justify it as “building tolerance and rewiring social media away from porn”, but clearly that was just addictive thoughts. I’ve deleted Reddit and TikTok and have decided I will not look at either app for at least a month (September 24th). Both apps are too triggering for me at the moment as I use it as an opportunity to peek.

I’ll also resume with daily check ins. I miss the discipline and consistency I was achieving by posting everyday on the forum. I let things slip on days when I’m out and about, hanging with friends, seeing my girlfriend, spending time with family etc. However, I can always carve out 10 minutes from my day to write something.

I’m going to ensure the next 5 days of August are pornfree. Then I can go into September with a positive mindset.
 
I'm going to give an alternative and also kinda unorthodox perspective on this whole "noporn" thing, in an attempt to make you rethink this journal and what you actually think you'll achieve out of...not watching porn.

I personally think "porn-free" is completely overrated.

At best, it gives people an illusion that they're doing something productive, and at worst it couples their emotional state and framing to whether they had looked at porn or not. And when they do look at porn, they're like oh fuck god damn it I feel like shit for something that's actually pretty innocuous.

I have this perspective because I've always had a different perspective on pornography and adult media (such as erotic visual novels, etc) in general than most people I've seen in "self-improvement" spaces, and am honestly still flummoxed at how it seems to derail people's lives.

So in an attempt to maybe get you to recalibrate your goals, I'm going to explain how I feel about porn and maybe you can reframe what you're doing. Because all I can see happening on this log is the spiral of, every 10-15 days "ugh, guys i relapsed wtf....", (and it's not just you!)


how i view porn
To me, pornography and adult media has always been just a form of entertainment. It's not really a bad or good thing. Like listening to music or watching YouTube videos. At worst, it's probably just a waste of time, but I've never understood how it seems to debilitate people and we have entire communities of people trying to quit porn.

I'd actually say it's been a net positive in my life because even seeing simulated scenes of sex and hot chicks has been a motivation for me to get out there and try to meet girls and get laid myself. Additionally, playing Japanese hentai games was one of my motivations for eventually learning how to speak the language.

And I did actually do nofap for around ~60 days, which indeed did have the effect of putting me into fucking hyperdrive with approaching girls (I then proceeded to rage approach over ~1000 girls in around 1.5 months), even having wet dreams of approaching girls and getting rejected. I mention this specifically, because sometimes when I wanted a super boost, I would literally watch porn without jerking off before going out to approach at the mall and it felt like I was fucking high.

^I'm not saying you need to do that btw, I just stated it because I don't think I've ever heard anyone do that sort of thing with porn.

Overall, combined with reading real lay reports from guys on KYIL and other places, I was able to have amazing sex even though I started as a complete virgin. See this story and this story. I really did just mirror the rough and primal energy porn shows.

Also I'm not the only one who feels this way. I know plenty of guys who get laid all the time who enjoy porn as well.


what you should do with this information
You should go to back to the drawing board and list out what exactly you are trying to get out of "quitting pornography". I think you'll find better solutions to the specific problems you might have.

I stayed silent on your thread initially, especially after seeing september link the easy-peasy method that I know has personally worked for him to quit porn. But then you said that it didn't work "when you read it a long time ago" "because you didn't fully internalize all the stuff it says", which makes me think you didn't read the book seriously (I haven't read it personally) and/or you need a mindset shift.

And seeing you relapse again twice since you shut september's suggestion down makes me feel like I needed to step in with my (different) view on the matter. Because otherwise, I feel like you're just giving yourself an illusion of doing something productive when you really aren't.
 
t’s been a little while since I’ve updated my journal. Life got a bit in the way and I lost some focus and motivation. However, this pornfree streak I have been on has just hit 14 days, so I’m back to keep accountable, continue to develop my habits and achieve my goals.

This streak has been going well. I’ve been basically doing hard-mode: no PMO for 14 days (I did have sex last week, but didn’t ejaculate). My goal isn’t strict semen retention, but I’d like to ejaculate only during sex, to maximise recovery benefits. I’m going to take some times to discuss some of the benefits I’ve noticed, and discuss what lifestyle changes I’ve been making to help continue this progress.

Firstly, overall confidence has improved. I’ve been making some conscious efforts to adopt a more positive mindset, one based on growth and optimism. That said, these attempts of optimism have been easier and feel more fulfilling during this streak. I’m feeling more connection to the people around me, I feel more talkative and jokey and some energy has jumped back into my everyday routine.

Secondly, sexual health has been fantastic. I’ve been genuinely horny again for many days now. Erectile health is improving and sex feels more exciting. I crave it much more now than when I was deep into my addiction, and that is manifesting as a far more intimate and fulfilling relationship with my girlfriend.

I also have more time to get daily activities done. Admittedly, I did let a lot of habits (like journaling and daily walks) slip a bit, but other activities, like getting all of my teaching and medical school work done, have been achieved in good time and with a lot of productivity.

Staying pornfree has also highlighted a lot of areas of improvement to make my journey easier. Regular meditation, getting 8 hours of good sleep, unwinding before bed, spending time with family and being outside my room, getting outdoors and doing things with friends, keeping busy and productive and adopting a healthy, positive mindset have all been foundational. I’ve not perfected every single one of these aspects (I really could do with getting my sleep in order), but I hope to use the rest of September to start to fix them for good. If all goes to plan, I shall continue to be pornfree for over a month by the time September ends. As I continue, I’ll be about 5 months pornfree by my birthday. I will be incredibly happy to achieve that goal, and it will be a huge milestone in this journey.
 
colgate said:
I'm going to give an alternative and also kinda unorthodox perspective on this whole "noporn" thing, in an attempt to make you rethink this journal and what you actually think you'll achieve out of...not watching porn.

I personally think "porn-free" is completely overrated.

At best, it gives people an illusion that they're doing something productive, and at worst it couples their emotional state and framing to whether they had looked at porn or not. And when they do look at porn, they're like oh fuck god damn it I feel like shit for something that's actually pretty innocuous.

I have this perspective because I've always had a different perspective on pornography and adult media (such as erotic visual novels, etc) in general than most people I've seen in "self-improvement" spaces, and am honestly still flummoxed at how it seems to derail people's lives.

So in an attempt to maybe get you to recalibrate your goals, I'm going to explain how I feel about porn and maybe you can reframe what you're doing. Because all I can see happening on this log is the spiral of, every 10-15 days "ugh, guys i relapsed wtf....", (and it's not just you!)


how i view porn
To me, pornography and adult media has always been just a form of entertainment. It's not really a bad or good thing. Like listening to music or watching YouTube videos. At worst, it's probably just a waste of time, but I've never understood how it seems to debilitate people and we have entire communities of people trying to quit porn.

I'd actually say it's been a net positive in my life because even seeing simulated scenes of sex and hot chicks has been a motivation for me to get out there and try to meet girls and get laid myself. Additionally, playing Japanese hentai games was one of my motivations for eventually learning how to speak the language.

And I did actually do nofap for around ~60 days, which indeed did have the effect of putting me into fucking hyperdrive with approaching girls (I then proceeded to rage approach over ~1000 girls in around 1.5 months), even having wet dreams of approaching girls and getting rejected. I mention this specifically, because sometimes when I wanted a super boost, I would literally watch porn without jerking off before going out to approach at the mall and it felt like I was fucking high.

^I'm not saying you need to do that btw, I just stated it because I don't think I've ever heard anyone do that sort of thing with porn.

Overall, combined with reading real lay reports from guys on KYIL and other places, I was able to have amazing sex even though I started as a complete virgin. See this story and this story. I really did just mirror the rough and primal energy porn shows.

Also I'm not the only one who feels this way. I know plenty of guys who get laid all the time who enjoy porn as well.


what you should do with this information
You should go to back to the drawing board and list out what exactly you are trying to get out of "quitting pornography". I think you'll find better solutions to the specific problems you might have.

I stayed silent on your thread initially, especially after seeing @september link the easy-peasy method that I know has personally worked for him to quit porn. But then you said that it didn't work "when you read it a long time ago" "because you didn't fully internalize all the stuff it says", which makes me think you didn't read the book seriously (I haven't read it personally) and/or you need a mindset shift.

And seeing you relapse again twice since you shut september's suggestion down makes me feel like I needed to step in with my (different) view on the matter. Because otherwise, I feel like you're just giving yourself an illusion of doing something productive when you really aren't.
Click to expand...

Firstly, thank you so much for taking the time out to write this response, mate! I’m going to give it the response it deserves once I’ve had some time to fully appreciate this different perspective. It’s this type of accountability that I find so helpful. I’ll @ you when I have a response ready.
 
I’ve had some time to think about what user colgate said about my pornfree journey so far. Much appreciation to him. That’s the sort of accountability I needed! I also took the time to reread the EasyPeasy Method and better internalise its lessons. Now reflecting on it properly, it was worth going through it again, so thank you to september for suggesting it.

This was a bit of a wake up call for me, as I had lost sight of why I was pursuing this goal in the first place. I’ve been attempting nofap and pornfree on and off for years without really making “progress”. Additionally, during those years I have been incorporating better lifestyle choices and seeing results (going to the gym, socialising more, finding a compatible partner, sleeping better etc.). I wanted to take some time to look back at my nofap/pornfree history and see what I want to do going forward.

## My journey with Porn and Nofap.

I discovered porn at the age of 10. With puberty on the horizon, my interest in girls and sex started to blossom. Porn was this new, exciting way to see things I had never seen before. At this point in life, porn was a fun, risque interest that wasn’t negatively affecting my life. My consumption was minimal and centered around pretty vanilla topics. I didn’t yet have a smartphone, so my porn consumption was limited to my laptop in the family office. In my first few years, I viewed porn occasionally, due to having computer restrictions as a kid. As the years went on, I would stay up later, waiting for my dad to head to bed so I could have unrestricted internet time.

For secondary school (11-18), I had moved away to a new town and attended a boys only school. This made socialising with friends harder and meant I spent most of my puberty years away from girls. My only interactions with them were through porn. Over these years, I became increasinly more introverted, but that didn’t bother me at the time. I was focused on my academic performance and felt I got enough interactions with friends through school. So even at this stage, porn wasn’t doing any visible harm.

However, I think things changed between 16-18. These are the big exam years in the UK, determining where you could go to university. I had high expectations of myself, and stressed a lot about doing well in exams. I wasn’t sleeping or eating well, my stress levels were through the roof and I didn’t have many outlets to relax, like sports or social time. Porn was my outlet, and I remember this point of life being when I would start viewing porn daily. The stress and the porn usage were correlated for sure. Then, at 17, I would move schools again to a more prestigious college. Here, I lacked any of the friend groups I had previously, with all the other students having formed their groups long before I had arrived. This was my first experience into social anxiety. I was a very energetic, extroverted child, slid into some shyness as a teen, but this was something new and very unpleasant.

It was also the time I got my first iphone and started using social media. I discovered I could access porn and other ellicit material using reddit and facebook. Here, my porn viewing frequency would increase even more, being used as a stress relief from the anxiety i was experiencing.

It was at 18 that my mental health really took a nosedive. I had lost a lot of my old friends, I had gotten into a toxic relationship and was becoming increasingly more irritable and sad due to chronic stress and anxiety. I had narrowly missed my offers to medical school and would be attending a university that meant I couldn’t move out and have the “typical university experience”. It was also at 18 when I started having sex with my ex girlfriend and I noticed I was having issues staying hard and finishing. Part of that was normal nerves one gets from having sex with a new partner, but when I noticed it happening even months into our relationship, I knew something was up.

This was when I discovered the ideas of porn being unhealthy and of pornfree and nofap.

## Why did I want to do Nofap?

To be perfectly honest, I like porn. The sexy bodies and acts made me feel good, the dopamine rush to the brain. I don’t think this bad habit/addiction would have been this hard to break if I didn’t enjoy it so much. So when looking for advice about ED in sex as a teen, I was disappointed to see “taking an extended break from porn and masturbation” as a solution.

However, what made nofap initially more appealing was seeing the myriad other benefits that beating the porn habit could bring. The one that particularly appealed to me was increased social energy and confidence. Nofap sounded like a cure all for the problems I had been struggling with for years. I devoured the success stories and attempted to do my own streak. Many of these initial streaks were short, with me relapsing, swearing never to view porn again, and then repeating the cycle. This when on for many years. I didn’t give up because: 1, I am a pretty determined guy and have a mindset of “I’ll eventually succeed if I keep trying (which has actually been the case with many of the other goals I have worked on and succeeded in) and 2, because I did start to see some of the those benefits. ED reducing, getting better at sex, more social confidence, more energy. Again, these streaks weren’t long. Even longer ones like a month would be marked with peeking and edging, bringing into question how much these benefits were coming from nofap and how much they were placebo.

But I was desperate to achieve this goal. In some ways now, just because I’ve set out on this goal and have wanted to achieve it for so long and reap those benefits.

## Why do I want to keep doing Nofap?

It’s been a few years since first hearing about porn addictions. My understanding of the topic, as well as habit formation, meditation and other important lessons, has grown a lot more. I’ve grown a lot as a person in other respects. Physically, emotionally, socially etc. I am much more the person I wanted to be as an 18 year old. Far more productive, much more friendly and popular, living a more varied life.

I’m now in a relationship with a wonderful woman. We’re very compatible in values, personality and, in particular, sex drives. I want to have an incredibly exciting and fulfilling sex life with her. And I feel my porn consumption interferes with this too much. Physically, I’ll still get some troubles performing. Mentally, I’ll find myself looking back at porn scenes to get turned on. This is not what I want out of my relationship any longer.

Besides this, while the evidence of the benefits of nofap have long been drawn into questions, I can’t help but be allured by them. I’ve put a lot of work into improving my social confidence, general energy levels and productivity, but if giving up porn can give me that little extra boost to really achieve the lifestyle I want, it’s a worthy sacrifice.

## What to do now?

Colgate’s alternative perspective on porn consumption was really interesting. I should lower nofap off the pedestal I placed it on. Instead of obsessing with streaks and progress and benefits, I should work towards building positive habits and lifestyle choices that help me to achieve the life I want. Weighing things up, I’d conclude that porn is still, for me, a net negative in my life. However, thinking about this topic more has shown me that it is perhaps more a symptom of problems rather than definitely being the cause.

I will continue this journal, but I’ll focus on including the positive lifestyle choices I’m making to make my life a pornfree one. Things like:

- reducing internet time and time spent alone
- spending more time with friends and family
- engaging in other hobbies
- engaging in weight lifting and sports
- working hard on my academic and business goals
- consistently achieving other goals and developing more of a growth mindset
- mediation and taking care of my mental health
- enjoying more of my day to day life instead of getting stuck in routine

Doing these things, which are productive, will make being pornfree a general result of my life instead of one where I am obsessed with achieving this one goal. I’ll also continue to update daily for the accountability. If it wasn’t for everyone who has read or commented, I don’t think I could have gotten as far as I have. A month in on the horizon, and I know things will become easier and more fruitful by adopting this new mindset and building a better lifestyle. Thanks again everyone!
 
Here's what worked for me:

https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=42823#p42823

(spoiler alert, I do PE exercises when I feel the urge to watch porn or masturbate, and instead of getting ED I get a bigger dick)
 
It's been a very busy weekend, which has been good. Kept my mind nice and occupied. I was feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed, and could feel a build up of temptation to peek. So instead I went to the gym (for the first time in a couple weeks), chatted with some friends, texted some others and am now writing this entry to keep myself going.

I'm glad I took the time to write that long entry. I've got something to look back on, if I ever find myself faltering.

I've also really identified stress as been very counterproductive to my goals, so I'm going to spend the rest of the evening relaxing and have a long nights sleep. I could do some studying, but I've had a busy weekend so I'm gonna reward myself with an easy day today.
 
1 month pornfree achieved! Feels amazing to have hit this goal. Since my last update, I’ve found that journalling and meditation have helped a lot with managing stress, but I could do with other methods of eliminating stress. If anyone reading has any recommendations, I’d love to know.

Sex-wise, things have been going well well. No troubles with erections anymore, I’m usually able to go a couple of rounds (maybe even more with enough rest time). Even doing small things like kissing or cuddling with my girlfriend make me feel super aroused. That feeling of shame and anxiety I would have whenever I had been watching a lot of porn is disappearing, and I’m finding managing day to day temptations much easier by keeping productive. Colgate’s post has really had me rethinking this goal of mine and it’s reignited things in a much healthier. Maybe for future goals (like reducing my overall internet usage), I could do with similar discussions so I can really understand my goal process.

Reframing things, reflecting on my goals and keeping myself busy has helped me to manage a very stressful few days. Everyone at home is getting sick (mix of seasonal illness and COVID of all things), so I’ve been managing things as best as I can.

Today though was much much better. I had an amazing night’s sleep, better than I’ve had in ages. Either it was because of taking some magnesium before bed or trying to sleep on my back (I’m normally a side or front sleeper). I woke up feeling very refreshed and energized. I got a tonne of work done, did some teaching, had a good session at the gym and found that my mood and energy levels didn’t really dip at all during the day.
 
A pretty uneventful day. I had a half day of work at the hospital, so I made sure to get all other tasks in my daily habit tracker complete. I’m back to meditating again frequently. Not many other new updates to report on. All in all, a pretty standard start to the week.
 
MeetNShake said:
A pretty uneventful day. I had a half day of work at the hospital, so I made sure to get all other tasks in my daily habit tracker complete. I’m back to meditating again frequently. Not many other new updates to report on. All in all, a pretty standard start to the week.
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One day at a time, brother. Keep up the great work!
 
It’s been a very social week. I’ve been out to 3 parties in the last 7 days, with another coming up today and then an event on Saturday. I’m glad my university workload has been so quiet and that my work is flexible. The business has kept me productive and distracted in a healthy way.

I want to take some time to reflect on what I am doing right now. I’ve made a lot of progress with my social skills over the last few years, but especially between 2021 to today. 18 year old me wouldn’t believe how many times he’s been going out with friends and his girlfriend in the last couple years. I used to have so much shyness and anxiety about going out and meeting people, yet I would yearn for those opportunities without putting in the effort to seek them. Since then, I’ve pulled a huge 180. I’m making plans with friends, I’m making efforts to move out of my social comfort zone and I have been working on my social skills and confidence. It’s paid off massively. Now I get invited to go to events, people are happy to see me and catch up and my shyness and anxiety (whilst still a little bit there) are becoming easier and easier to manage. I’m proud of what I have achieved and hope to see how far I can go as I continue to refine these skills.
 
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