iwillbebetter said:
First rejection ever
Another date today. Man i should stop matching with 18-21 yo. They all live with their parents too, like me.
Anyway, she did most of the talking like always. Im not that talkative, i just ask questions or comment on things, need to change that. Or people thing im boring or smth. She didnt asked me anything idk, maybe i looked different irl? Not possible. We walked for 2h and then said by. She didnt even look back when she went into the train, so no interest.
On whatsapp i asked her yes or no, she said no. I would have said no too, we didnt click, but yea i let her choose anyway. It still feels bad ngl.
Idk im still not getting close on getting laid. The girl yesterday wants me to wait weeks before inviting me over. Other 2 girls are out of town now because of christmas. Back to swiping...
And im not even sure if i want to get laid like crazy with different women or want a good gf. Need to think about that
You're doing beginner mistakes. That's why they reject you / you're not having sex. You're telling girls you're not looking for something super serious like in andys template, meetup and then walk and talk for hours?
Of course her pussy will dry up and she will leave. This whole "let's have a walk to see if we click" is only a reason for you and for her to see if you both like each other. Nothing more. You shouldn't take this so specific. It's not a "have a walk-date and then i'll ask her in whatsapp if she's into me". It should be a 5-20 mins walk with preferably some kino and flirting and to see if you'd even want to bang her. If so, then you tell her "It's getting cold here, let's go to my place and have a drink together" or "it's getting quite cold here, let's go to your place and have a drink together".
And that's it. If she says why, you use andy's answer as in saying "Because I'm into you and want to make out with you, silly."
If she says no. That's okay. She's not that interested or has some other reasons. Just say "That's cool. I have to get some things done anyway".
You're putting girls off because you're not the one they actually expected to meet. When saying "Nothing serous, let's see what happens", they expect YOU to make a move. They expect YOU to take charge and bring them home. Since that's what it's all about. And she agreed on this, albeit not overtly. Having a walk is only there for her, to check if you're a creep and the guy she saw on the pics. It's only there to make her comfortable. And most girls already get comfortable enough after 5 minutes. Because you both agreed already on those terms - those are: potentially having sex together.
But when you're not making a move for 2 hours as in walking in this cold ass shitty weather, you're exposing yourself as someone who's either extremely afraid to make a move, who's maybe not that much into her or being okay with taking things slow or getting put into the friendzone. No, my man. That's not what you actually want.
I'm not saying that two hours talking is a no-go. It's completely fine IF you're at her place already, have a drink and touch each other all the time and having flirty/deep talks. And then you escalate.
But you can't do that in public. You can't walk for that long or sit on a bench for this long and don't do anything. I'd be pissed too if a girl that told me she's not looking for something super serious, but then I'm trapped in walking for hours in the cold-ass weather. I would freeze my ass off, gain nothing and get the fuck out of there as soon as possible.
You really should reread Andy's tinder guide. Especially the dating-section.
https://killyourinnerloser.com/tinder-guide-4/
In concerns of your problem with not having your own place. You're not a teen anymore. Yes, you're in your parents place. But you can't tell me they don't allow any visitors? You're a grown man. You bring her to your room and that's it. If you both cross parents just tell them "hi, that's Sarah. We're going to chill in my room." if you're extra nervous that your mom will step into your room say "if you want something, just text me."
Or lock the damn room.
Or just go to her place. When you meet her parents, you dont have to have any conversation. You just say hello and follow her to her room. It's no biggie. You're not the first guy that she'll be having over.
So. Next time you meet up with a girl, try to meet them straight at your/her place. If she's not keen to that, okay, have a short walk for 10 minutes and then take the lead and just say: "It's getting cold. Let's go to your place and we’ll hangout some more."
That's it. And when you're at her place, make a move as soon as possible. Just force yourself to do it. Because "there isn't a perfect moment". You create this moment.
MattsCrib said:
Why not both? Why not try to get a good gf WHILE getting laid with different women? Girls do it too lol.
He's right.
You need to get this mindset out of your head that you have to focus on only one girl and that you "have" to find a girlfriend. No, to build a long term relationship you both first have to get to know each other for some months. Have regularly crazy sex. Chemistry has to be there. And you should vet her and look for red flags, not jump straight into any relationship, this will only get you fucked (and not in a good way).
Meet tons of girls. Fuck all of them. And build plates as in fwbs. Relax, have abundance. And over time you'll see what girl could be a potential girlfriend. The other way around will fuck you up big times.
didnt even think about it, for real...
But yeah, I do live in a small town, so there are slightly different dynamics at play. It doesn't always fuck you up.
