New here, trying to get into shape before putting myself out there for dating and such ! Help is greatly appreciated

Yaxir

Member
Joined
May 12, 2021
Goal
Get Laid
Age
30
Hi !

I just posted in the introductions and one of my main goals is to get in proper, confident physical shape

Main motivation is to get attraction from women through this, as women have ALWAYS overlooked me ( it ends now ! )

and also to maintain a healthy life style. I am going to post some snapshots i took to show my intial body condition, i hope i can get good advice.

In the pictures, you can see my belly, my chest, my shoulders and arms. they are all quite thin and small and i have a poor body posture. Even when i am working on my PC, my sitting posture is painful for the back of my neck

I am at a Campus dorm and currently we don't have access to the Gym due to the pandemic

In the last two photos, you can see there is some kind of playground equipment at the garden, this is the only thing available to me.

Can the respected senior members and experienced body builders please advise a physical training regimen do with this 'playground equipment' to get my body in shape ?

i don't want to grow too big by muscle so that it become difficult to maintain when i get busy later on

but just enough so that i look attractive in my Tinder profile, can post good instagram updates and have a confident body posture when i walk. I also want to keep my physical health in check through this

Please offer any advice you can. I have never seriously done any type of physical training but i read Andy's article on Tinder guide ( the first page ) and it really moved me to do something better with my life rather than sulking around and being a passenger

I want to make a difference and be the difference. Please help me in becoming capable of being so.

I would be grateful to any advice i can get from this community

Lastly, thanks Andy and co. for making this platform ! Much love to you all !

P.S : i am new and read the forum rules, there is nothing against posting my own body here and i desperate need advice for how to fix myself physically

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I can’t offer any help in the dating section, but I can with diet/exercise.

Your body fat levels look around 25%, and the number one way to increase attractiveness is to lose weight. You’ll want to get down to at least sub 13%. I’ve lost 60 lbs in the last year and it’s pretty amazing what it does for your confidence and success with women.

You need to be focusing on diet mainly. Use a TDEE calculator to find out what your maintenance calories are, then adjust your daily intake lower, this will put you in a calorie deficit.

Lastly, you can build a solid physique with calisthenics. Push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, squats are all excellent exercises to build a solid foundation. Find a calisthenics program you like and stick with it. If you need to, add weight to a backpack to do squats with. Cardio is also very important, this will accelerate your fat loss. Steady state running/ swimming/ long walks are the best ways to burn calories.

Resistance band may be helpful if you’re struggling on pull-ups, they can also be used to simulate gym machines for rows, flyes etc.

Good luck, and stay committed. Progress will happen.
 
I'm far from a Fitness expert, but when lockdown came to the UK, and I didn't have access to a trainer or equipment, I found online HITT work outs be incredibly effective.



I've attached one of my favorites, the presenter is good at keeping you motivated, and it balanced, full body work out. Try looking at the different presenters out their(Joe Wicks stuff is good for beginners,) and see what works for you. If you can do these 3 to 4 times a week, you'll notice the difference.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CmNbntSOc0
 
Adam said:
Either count calories or do something like Keto/Paleo.
You probably meant it right, but it's misleading, for a newbie especially, so let me clarify it:
Do you whatever diet you wish to do, but you still need to count the calories.

I would search for help in that regard on some fitness forums, rather than here, but if you insist there is a nice exercise and diet guide somewhere here by NotYourAverageNerd.
 
Adam said:
Some information that will help people advise you on what specific calisthenics for you to do.

What can you do right now? Can you do a pullup? If so, how many? Do you know how to do a pushup with good form? How many pushups can you do in one set?

great !

so first thing i will try is to go there and do as many pullups as i phyiscally can ( and count them )

second, i will do pushup . I am sure it will not be the best form, but i will try to do it as best possible

and again, i will count the number of pushups i can do in a set

i will report back here then

thanks much !
 
Lostcause said:
I would search for help in that regard on some fitness forums, rather than here, but if you insist there is a nice exercise and diet guide somewhere here by @NotYourAverageNerd.

Hey there !

i believe you're talking about this one ?

https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=332

let me know if that's the right one and i'll read it solid !
 
Yaxir said:
Lostcause said:
I would search for help in that regard on some fitness forums, rather than here, but if you insist there is a nice exercise and diet guide somewhere here by @NotYourAverageNerd.

Hey there !

i believe you're talking about this one ?

https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=332

let me know if that's the right one and i'll read it solid !

Yeah, this one!
 
Check out convict conditioning and the Juarez workout for body weight exercises. Get into a regular routine, same time every day and write it down to keep yourself accountable. If you have a buddy that will message you daily, get him/her to be your accountability partner.

At 26, you may not need to stretch, but you'll thank yourself if you start that habit now. I recommend Yoga with Kassandra's 30 day yoga for beginners. She does affirmations during these short sessions, feel free to ignore them. Yoga with Adriene is also good.

I have a love/hate relationship with my skipping rope. The boys above have talked about walking, which may be a better starting point. My ex was a trainer and gave me the advice of doing fasted cardio to burn fat faster. I would consult with a professional resource online as part of your due diligence.

Spend the money on a dietician. Make sure you pay for multiple sessions that will be used quarterly - bulk sessions tend to be cheaper than single session rates. Don't bother w/ nutritionists. Can't speak to Turkey, but here they're not regulated nor do they require a degree.
 
Hey Adam i am mentioning you as you suggested this information , please feel free to tag more members as you see fit

before the workout, i did a light warm up in my dorm room, i followed the warm up from the video mentioned here :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_CttGc-_2E

After this i went to the spot which i mentioned in the post above and here's what i tried

i did 4 sets of pushups, but with inconsistent reps

i was able to do 10 reps in one set and 6-7 reps in the other set. That same pattern repeated with the next two reps

I felt some wrist pain while doing the pushups and i also found myself taking several minutes of rest between each set

i tried to keep as good a form as possible, feet straight and aligned to one another.

palms on the side but i don't know how far apart the arms should be or what the positioning of the arms should be

As for the pullups, it was much more troublesome. i feel the bar is way too high from the ground, so i had this fear of falling. I do think it's like 2 feet or so, but i feel nervous while hanging on the bar

at most i was able to do 2 reps of pullups in a set, mostly due to a combination of fear of height and the weak muscles

i did 2 sets of pullups

so this is the summary of the 'workout' today

I did some running after the workout. We have a Football ( soccer ) pitch in the Campus, about a 100 yards. I ran a medium speed sprint 2 times up and down the pitch, so i covered like 200 yards in total and took rest of a few minutes between each 50 yards.

Please suggest what kind of workout i can do with the information i have supplied about myself so far

Do you think i should integrate running in my workout ? If so, what would be the best way to do so?

last question, how long after the workout can i eat something ? today i ate after probably 40-50 minutes after the workout

thanks much
 
One more and VERY IMPORTANT question

I will workout in the morning or early afternoon, without eating or drinking anything.. so it will be done on an empty stomach

THEN, i will have either breakfast or lunch , i don't eat in the middle of the day

later on, i have dinner at the night or early evening

the question is .. in the time between; say from after noon 1 pm to evening 7 pm, i don't do any physical activity.

i am just on my PC doing work or reading or maybe playing games or doing something else

I am not doing any activity that is moving my body in that time, at all

should i do something in the middle of the day ? i am just worried that eating lunch and sitting .. and then eating dinner and sitting, could pose a risk to the results i am working for

please kindly let me know if i should do something about this 'eating and sitting problem'

thanks much !
 
Yaxir said:
I will workout in the morning or early afternoon, without eating or drinking anything.. so it will be done on an empty stomach
Sup man glad to have more people doing the losing fat journey! I also started with that 2months and half ago (lost 30-35lbs of fat since) and I still have another 1month a half before being satisfied and starting the AA program.
First of all make sure you drink plenty of water before doing your exercises. Been going at it since the beginning and wanted to be fasting as much as possible and I just found out this week how important Hydration can be. I run a 5km 6days a week at 12pm and at that point I've been fasting for 18-19h (I'm on one meal a day intermittent fasting diet). So after waking up I drank little to no water and for the first 2months and a half I would often have shitty days where my legs would give out fast and I wouldn't have any energy. After trying some things this week I found out that drinking lots of water in the hours leading to my run was soooo beneficial it's unbelievable. I have a lot more energy and the run feels a lot less grueling. Just this week after finding this out I broke my 5k pr 3 times. Moral of the story Hydrate yourself well before doing exercise.

Yaxir said:
the question is .. in the time between; say from after noon 1 pm to evening 7 pm, i don't do any physical activity.

i am just on my PC doing work or reading or maybe playing games or doing something else

I am not doing any activity that is moving my body in that time, at all

should i do something in the middle of the day ? i am just worried that eating lunch and sitting .. and then eating dinner and sitting, could pose a risk to the results i am working for

please kindly let me know if i should do something about this 'eating and sitting problem'

thanks much !

I work from home as a development tester for a video game company and have to be seated for 8hours a day 5 days a week. It has not hinders my weight lost at all. What It have hinders though is my free time, because on day that I train and run (5 days a week for training and 6days a week for running) I have a lot less free time after work. You don't want to be doing 4 hours of exercise in your day anyway, so just make sure to get a good 1h-2h per day you are training and you'll be fine np. The most important thing, like many others said, is the diet. You could be doing 0 exercise and still loose tons of weight with a proper diet, so get a good diet in and with some exercise you will melt like I did :)
 
One final thing, there is no secret in losing weight you need to have less calories coming in than calories you burn. You could lose weight even if you ate McDonalds everyday, but as long as you are eating less calories you will lose weight. You don't need a intense diet like Keto or whatever, if that is something you are looking for go ahead it works, but just eating healthier and less will do the trick. You will also be able to get in more food if you go for less caloric dense food! I suggest you check out Greg Doucette on Youtube, he has a video for everything diet related. The diet I'm on (One meal a day intermittent fasting diet) does not restrict anything (Except the time where I eat), but I choose to eat healthy anyway and the results are insane.

I also suggest you having at least one cheat meal during the week. Just make sure not to go wayyyyyy overboard with it but yeah, it makes the journey a lot easier and the cravings a lot less frequent.
 
Master said:
Yaxir said:
I will workout in the morning or early afternoon, without eating or drinking anything.. so it will be done on an empty stomach
Sup man glad to have more people doing the losing fat journey! I also started with that 2months and half ago (lost 30-35lbs of fat since) and I still have another 1month a half before being satisfied and starting the AA program.
First of all make sure you drink plenty of water before doing your exercises. Been going at it since the beginning and wanted to be fasting as much as possible and I just found out this week how important Hydration can be. I run a 5km 6days a week at 12pm and at that point I've been fasting for 18-19h (I'm on one meal a day intermittent fasting diet). So after waking up I drank little to no water and for the first 2months and a half I would often have shitty days where my legs would give out fast and I wouldn't have any energy. After trying some things this week I found out that drinking lots of water in the hours leading to my run was soooo beneficial it's unbelievable. I have a lot more energy and the run feels a lot less grueling. Just this week after finding this out I broke my 5k pr 3 times. Moral of the story Hydrate yourself well before doing exercise.

Yaxir said:
the question is .. in the time between; say from after noon 1 pm to evening 7 pm, i don't do any physical activity.

i am just on my PC doing work or reading or maybe playing games or doing something else

I am not doing any activity that is moving my body in that time, at all

should i do something in the middle of the day ? i am just worried that eating lunch and sitting .. and then eating dinner and sitting, could pose a risk to the results i am working for

please kindly let me know if i should do something about this 'eating and sitting problem'

thanks much !

I work from home as a development tester for a video game company and have to be seated for 8hours a day 5 days a week. It has not hinders my weight lost at all. What It have hinders though is my free time, because on day that I train and run (5 days a week for training and 6days a week for running) I have a lot less free time after work. You don't want to be doing 4 hours of exercise in your day anyway, so just make sure to get a good 1h-2h per day you are training and you'll be fine np. The most important thing, like many others said, is the diet. You could be doing 0 exercise and still loose tons of weight with a proper diet, so get a good diet in and with some exercise you will melt like I did :)

Thanks mate

i have to say, you really inspired me with your story and your DP makes me believe i can do it !

previously, i had thought i could not lose the belly but this really, really helps !

For sure, i will keep myself well hydrated before starting my workout, thanks for that information. I had no idea !

I am curious, when do you run ? after the workout or before ? or are you doing just running without any workout ?

I saw on an art of manliness playground workout video that he finished the workout with a sprint ( 2 sets , 40 yards i think ) so i think that could be a good finishing point for my workouts. let me know what you think !

congrats on breaking that 5 km record ! i'm sure you will be breaking a higher record next time soon !

i just downloading myfitnesspal app and i am trying my best to track my calories. although i am trying not to starve lol

i think my maintenance calories are like ~1520 calories so i will try eating about 1300 calories per day , according to NotYourAverageNerd's guide

And i am relieved to hear the truth about the 'sitting and eating' problem ! everyone had told me that my belly was growing because i used to eat and then immediately sit on the computer after that and unless i did something about that, the belly would never go

but now, i have a clear idea of how to actually deal with it , through good diet and good workout / exercise !

Thanks again mate, really appreciate your advice

much love !
 
Adam said:
Based on your comments, here is a starter workout for you to do. You'll need to do your own research as you progress. Others have posted lots of great resources in previous comments. The thread that @LostCause linked to is excellent.

You're going to want to start doing some kind of strength-training. The purpose of strength-training, as opposed to cardio, is to make you stronger over time. So although these exercises will make you breathe hard, the main point is to exhaust your muscles so that over time you can either add more reps or switch to a more difficult exercise. If you were going to a gym, we would just add more weight, but since you're doing calisthenics the solution is to either add more reps or make the exercise harder. The below workout will work all of your major muscle groups and build strength. It's not the "ideal" workout because there is no ideal workout, but I think it's enough to get you started and will help you get stronger and build some muscle as you lose fat and learn more about fitness.

This workout should be done as a circuit - meaning that you'll go immediately from one exercise to the next without resting (unless you really need to catch your breath), then once you do a set of every exercise you'll take a rest before doing the second set of all exercises.

Reverse Lunge (5-10 reps each leg)
Pushups (6-12 reps)
Bodyweight Squats (10-20)
Negative Pullups (4-8)
Plank (20-60 seconds)

Do this circuit 3 times with 1-2 minute of rest between circuits.


Do this workout 3 times per week. On days between workouts you can still walk, run, play sports, whatever you want. You're just going to keep the dedicated strength-training workout to 3 days a week for now.

I included rep ranges. Once you can do three sets of max reps for an exercise, you'll want to either add a fourth set or do something to increase the difficulty of the exercise. Either add a weight or change to a more difficult variation (such as switching from negative pullups to normal pullups)

If there are any of these exercises that you do not know how to do:
  • Reverse Lunge: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pwO2gemRyg
  • Bodyweight Squats: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyidZ42Iy9Q
  • Negative Pullups: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbPURTSxQLY
  • Plank: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvIjsG5Svck

EDIT: two additional things:

For the Pullups, you said you were concerned about falling. Bring a Chair or something to stand and jump off of when you do the negative pullups. From the picture you posted, it didn't look that high. Just make sure it's a sturdy chair that you won't accidentally kick over while doing the negative pullups.

If pushups hurt your wrists, order some pushup bars off of Amazon. You can hold them and they'll take the pressure off of your wrists. (https://www.amazon.com/s?k=pushup+bars&i=sporting&ref=nb_sb_noss)

Mad respect to you mate, for putting in the effort to plan this entire workout routine for me ! I am truly grateful !

If you don't mind, i would like to ask what kind of warm-up ( or stretch ) routine, would work best with this ? If you can suggest a video, that'd be great

Should i alternate the 3 days of workout ? ( I am thinking Friday, Sunday, Tuesday )

I do fear that i might get lazy in the days in between, so can you suggest what should i do in those days to avoid laziness ?

i think running across the football pitch is a good exercise to do on the rest days, but i am going to need your knowledge in this. You can suggest any exercise for these 'free' days that keeps me in shape and active but is not a big deal, if say, i miss out on doing that for one or two days a week

Oh and one more thing, the workout i will do barefoot. Is that safe ? or would you recommend i wear some workout shoes ? I can get workout shoes ( along with the push up bars ) probably next week or so, when the lockdown ends in the city

Adam , once again, i am so thankful for this guidance and i finally have a proper, actual workout routine that i am looking forward to doing ! I am so excited !

i am happy i found this place !

much love !
 
If you’re looking to add cardio, look into the couch to 5k plan. It helped me go from not being able to jog for a minute to actually running a 5k under 30 minutes
 
Ashsrt said:
If you’re looking to add cardio, look into the couch to 5k plan. It helped me go from not being able to jog for a minute to actually running a 5k under 30 minutes

thanks mate

one thing i realized though

I am thinking of this;

Workouts on Fri Sun Tue

Runs on Mon Wed Sat

Thursday is a total rest day then; which means is that i do nothing on that day

I would be sitting on my PC all day for work or going to take Lunch/Dinner by light walk

What i will do is, eat for 2 times and probably do some light snacking in between, keeping the calories in check ofcourse !

Is this 'rest' day, risky for my fitness or fat losing routine ?

advice is much appreciated !
 
Yaxir said:
Ashsrt said:
If you’re looking to add cardio, look into the couch to 5k plan. It helped me go from not being able to jog for a minute to actually running a 5k under 30 minutes

thanks mate

one thing i realized though

I am thinking of this;

Workouts on Fri Sun Tue

Runs on Mon Wed Sat

Thursday is a total rest day then; which means is that i do nothing on that day

I would be sitting on my PC all day for work or going to take Lunch/Dinner by light walk

What i will do is, eat for 2 times and probably do some light snacking in between, keeping the calories in check ofcourse !

Is this 'rest' day, risky for my fitness or fat losing routine ?

advice is much appreciated !

Not in the slightest, rest and recovery are when all muscle development actually happens.
I agree with Adam, don't worry about creating a perfect schedule, just get after it and do something to progress your goal every day.
 
Thanks both, Adam and Ashsrt

I will start with the Cardio today, try to do the start of the 5k program

Reason being, i have some muscular pain in the chest (muscle cramps?) after trying the push-ups / pull-ups yesterday

The pain is normal right?

Its not feeling while breathing, but when i stretch or move my chest, like when I move my shoulders or flail my arms, i can feel it

There's pain in other muscles (biceps etc) but not as much as the chest

Is it ok if i start with Cardio today, just because of the pain ?

Or can i power through the pain and do the workout ?

I'm really eager to get started, this is the last bit that i need to ask


Thanks all for the great advice !

Much love !
 
Yaxir said:
i think my maintenance calories are like ~1520 calories so i will try eating about 1300 calories per day , according to @NotYourAverageNerd's guide
Are you sure of those 1500 calories? Are you a 150cm, 40kg, or something?
 
Lostcause said:
Yaxir said:
i think my maintenance calories are like ~1520 calories so i will try eating about 1300 calories per day , according to @NotYourAverageNerd's guide
Are you sure of those 1500 calories? Are you a 150cm, 40kg, or something?

my height is ~5'6 or 5'7 ( probably in between )

last i checked my weight was 54 or 55 kg

EDIT : i used this TDEE calculation;

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P.S : mate if i made a mistake or did something wrong , please let me know. I don't want to do something stupid like overeat or undereat :)
 
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