Squilliam
Member
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2021
- Goal
- Be happy
- Age
- 24
- Motto
- Action begets action
I've lived in NYC for nearly all my life. I know what the culture is like here. It's usually considered taboo to not mind your own business in public.
And in general, I just find the idea of going up to a girl on the street to be weird. What would I even say? Okay, sure, I can say "Hey, my name is Squilliam", but that doesn't really lend itself to much of a conversation unless there is some other sort of commonality.
I looked at the AA program. I don't like it. I get what it's trying to do, and I'm sure it's effective. The thing is, I looked at a few of the days, and some of the drills seem harder than just a normal approach.
If I'm going to be dealing with intense ass approach anxiety, I at least want a chance of getting her number, I don't wanna intentionally say stupid shit in an attempt to desensitize myself to rejection. I'm sure it works but I don't like that aspect of the program.
I guess what scares me so much about cold approaching is just all the unknown variables. It creates a lot of opportunities for fear. Will she tell me to fuck off? Will she say she has a boyfriend? Will she pretend to be interested and then reject me 3 minutes later?
I understand logically that experiencing even the rudest rejections are not as bad as my mind makes it out to be. However I'm also logically aware that I can't logically convince myself to not be anxious about this.
I know the answer. There's a reason why I'm not asking for "tips" to get over this. I know there is no easy way around it, I just have to say fuck it and go outside and stop being a coward. The problem is it's just too easy for me to tap out when the nerves get too intense.
Now here is one thing I'm tempted to do. I could meet up with a few daygaming guys from one of those group chats, if they're willing to take on a newbie. I'm absolutely terrified at the prospect of doing this though, I guess probably because I would have a much harder time backing out, while those guys are with me.
I have exactly one experience in a "cold approach" like scenario, but I don't even think I should call it that as she technically started the conversation. Well, unless you count other times I tried to make conversation with women in public but it wasn't really an approach where I introduced myself and said hi.
Some random girl who was sitting on a bench near me started a conversation with me about photography (I was out taking photos), and I did ask for her snapchat, and I ended up getting her number. That took every ounce of courage I had to do.
But I want to make it happen. I don't want to wait around for girls to talk to me. I want to go out and live. Maybe it is time to go meet some of those guys in real life? Any tips?
I'm sure if I walked around in SoHo or LES, I could find dozens of cute 20 something girls to approach, but another thing is that I'm insecure about the fact that I have a baby face and they're going to think a teenager is hitting on them.
Also, I don't drink, so I'm not really interested in night-gaming, if anybody was going to suggest that instead.
And in general, I just find the idea of going up to a girl on the street to be weird. What would I even say? Okay, sure, I can say "Hey, my name is Squilliam", but that doesn't really lend itself to much of a conversation unless there is some other sort of commonality.
I looked at the AA program. I don't like it. I get what it's trying to do, and I'm sure it's effective. The thing is, I looked at a few of the days, and some of the drills seem harder than just a normal approach.
If I'm going to be dealing with intense ass approach anxiety, I at least want a chance of getting her number, I don't wanna intentionally say stupid shit in an attempt to desensitize myself to rejection. I'm sure it works but I don't like that aspect of the program.
I guess what scares me so much about cold approaching is just all the unknown variables. It creates a lot of opportunities for fear. Will she tell me to fuck off? Will she say she has a boyfriend? Will she pretend to be interested and then reject me 3 minutes later?
I understand logically that experiencing even the rudest rejections are not as bad as my mind makes it out to be. However I'm also logically aware that I can't logically convince myself to not be anxious about this.
I know the answer. There's a reason why I'm not asking for "tips" to get over this. I know there is no easy way around it, I just have to say fuck it and go outside and stop being a coward. The problem is it's just too easy for me to tap out when the nerves get too intense.
Now here is one thing I'm tempted to do. I could meet up with a few daygaming guys from one of those group chats, if they're willing to take on a newbie. I'm absolutely terrified at the prospect of doing this though, I guess probably because I would have a much harder time backing out, while those guys are with me.
I have exactly one experience in a "cold approach" like scenario, but I don't even think I should call it that as she technically started the conversation. Well, unless you count other times I tried to make conversation with women in public but it wasn't really an approach where I introduced myself and said hi.
Some random girl who was sitting on a bench near me started a conversation with me about photography (I was out taking photos), and I did ask for her snapchat, and I ended up getting her number. That took every ounce of courage I had to do.
But I want to make it happen. I don't want to wait around for girls to talk to me. I want to go out and live. Maybe it is time to go meet some of those guys in real life? Any tips?
I'm sure if I walked around in SoHo or LES, I could find dozens of cute 20 something girls to approach, but another thing is that I'm insecure about the fact that I have a baby face and they're going to think a teenager is hitting on them.
Also, I don't drink, so I'm not really interested in night-gaming, if anybody was going to suggest that instead.