Okay, can we talk about daygaming? (My reservations)

[Zug]

This really seems like a convoluted way of asking public permission to not do something you didn't want to do anyway.

You're right. After doing the first day of the AA program and making myself unbearably anxious and dreadful, I don't want to do this.

As I mentioned, GLL said that guys with moderate to severe social anxiety shouldn't be doing the program until social anxiety is worked on.

So for now, I'm going to continue socializing with women in other environments, like in the rock climbing gym, because the street is way too intimidating for me right now, and I'm pretty sure I reinforced my fears.

Every time you run away from something, you are actively reinforcing that fear.

I'm more than willing to believe it is possible that someone isn't ready for the AA program, because the stress of it exceeds their ability to recover and adapt within the typical SRA model. Even in that case, your goal would be a program that has a goal of getting you ready for the AA program. If you followed some workout program where the first workout was to squat 90lbs, but you're incapable of doing that - FINE. Then you need to find a program that is capable of getting your squat to 90. The last thing you want to do is tell yourself 'squatting just isn't for me'.

Its understandable that you're so unadapted that you're not capable of doing it yet, but it's not ok to use that as an excuse to not work on improving your weakness. Create your own program that is going to get you ready for AA. Your day 1 can be the last thing you did, your day 30 can be the start of the AA program. Create a progression between that day 1 and 30. It is ok to be weak, not ready, or unable; but it is not ok to not try to fix the weakness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhtwTe2G5e0

 

[Squilliam]

Every time you run away from something, you are actively reinforcing that fear.

That's true, but am I really running away from it if I'm still working on my social anxiety with strangers? It's just in a different environment.

 

[Zug]

Every time you run away from something, you are actively reinforcing that fear.

That's true, but am I really running away from it if I'm still working on my social anxiety with strangers? It's just in a different environment.

If you're really working on it? No. However, based on the language you've used in this post, it really looks like you are running away from it.

 

[Squilliam]

That's true, but am I really running away from it if I'm still working on my social anxiety with strangers? It's just in a different environment.

If you're really working on it? No. However, based on the language you've used in this post, it really looks like you are running away from it.

Nah, I've been making conversations with strangers in the rock climbing gym for the past 3 consecutive times that I've gone. Heck, I even tried flirting with a girl there as per Pancake's advice. I'm still mad at myself for not trying to get her number.

 

[Colossus]

In this thread: the curse of intelligence when it comes to girls.

I reckon the touching thing is another excuse. If it wasn't that it would be something else. Intellectualising is killing you, and you seem too smart for your own good.

The beauty of the human brain is we can examine and think about our own thoughts. Your social anxiety is just a story and a belief you tell yourself. As is "I'm going to get arrested and punched in the face for touching a girl on the arm" (ridiculous).

Every thought and belief comes from experiences and your past. A long form journal to deep dive into these things could serve you. Where do these things come from? And the most important question with every belief that comes up, does this serve me or does it not?

Your beliefs don't have to intellectually make sense so don't fall into that trap. A good belief is "All women think I'm attractive". At first it sounds just ridiculous. But you tell yourself that and then you look for evidence. Maybe a girl smiled at you on the train or you caught a girl looking at you twice at the club. There's evidence that these QTs think you're a good looking rooster. Fuck the evidence that disproves it, and run with the shit that proves it. Remember it doesn't need to make sense or be logical it just needs to serve you.

The results of this belief are astounding. Means you are a bit more confident and feel happier chatting to people. Who doesn't want a guy who is confident because he thinks all women think he's attractive? Its a win win and has a snowball effect. I think its the simplest to take on to start off with. Then you train yourself to look for the signs of it. They are everywhere. We as dudes are just oblivious cunts to it.

Affirmations I find work well to get these things into your head over time. Visualisation is good too. Journalling can work. Find your way.

Last thought. In a few years time you can be the guy who has approached girls and gotten over all this. Or you can not be. Those are micro decisions that are on you. Everyday you don't is a day down the drain. Every day that passes is another that you spent writing about why its too hard to do and didn't do it. You have one life and one go at all this stuff.

Make the life of your dreams. Or don't. It's your decision.

 

[Jacobpalmer123]

I've heard he faked them but the evidence is kinda meh. Besides theres a bunch of vids of him failing super hard which I don't see as much on infields so something to consider. And his highlights are beyond unbelievable like the one dude who plays an unwindable game and has girls kiss him like that's clearly staged.

It is possible that gll could have faked some infields but the evidence doesn't seem concrete.

 

[Sprezza]

From a game telegram group chat. Pancake says that faking infields doesn't make him a fraud, but I'm not sure I agree.

What evidence did they point to?

 

[Squilliam]

From a game telegram group chat. Pancake says that faking infields doesn't make him a fraud, but I'm not sure I agree.

What evidence did they point to?

I guess the evidence isn't concrete according to others here. I'm really just going off of hearsay. I'll go ahead and edit my original comment.

Guess that goes to show that I'll believe what I want to make an excuse not to do it. That's something I just realized now.

I reckon the touching thing is another excuse. If it wasn't that it would be something else. Intellectualising is killing you, and you seem too smart for your own good.

You are like the 10th person to tell me that. I really am.

I'm gonna look into the affirmations stuff. Thanks for your advice!

 

[Ashsrt]

What’s up fellow New Yorker.
I’ve been here my whole life, and while I used to think that yeah, everyone just minds their business it’s a fallacy. I didn’t realize it until last year around June. It’s ridiculously easy to meet people, anybody and everyone has a story to tell. The amount of late nights by Washington square park I’ve had with strangers is nuts. Talking to girls at bars after finals is the easiest thing. When I used to smoke that itself started a ton of interactions.

One of my favorite memories of NyC as a kid is going to rockerfeller Centre around Christmas, and the entire train car started singing Chris songs. That’s the side of New York you gotta open yourself to.

And if you really think about it, damn near everyone in Manhattan isn’t a New Yorker. They all moved here lol. Get out there and enjoy, humans are social creatures and want to interact with others.

 

[Squilliam]

What’s up fellow New Yorker.
I’ve been here my whole life, and while I used to think that yeah, everyone just minds their business it’s a fallacy. I didn’t realize it until last year around June. It’s ridiculously easy to meet people, anybody and everyone has a story to tell. The amount of late nights by Washington square park I’ve had with strangers is nuts. Talking to girls at bars after finals is the easiest thing. When I used to smoke that itself started a ton of interactions.

One of my favorite memories of NyC as a kid is going to rockerfeller Centre around Christmas, and the entire train car started singing Chris songs. That’s the side of New York you gotta open yourself to.

And if you really think about it, damn near everyone in Manhattan isn’t a New Yorker. They all moved here lol. Get out there and enjoy, humans are social creatures and want to interact with others.

Lol, isn't Washington Square Park like, dangerous at night now? Lots of chaos I've heard. Or maybe the New York Post is full of shit. Actually, why am I trusting a tabloid?

All I can say is, every time I've been on a date in Washington Square Park, homeless guys will approach me asking me for money. One time, this girl and I were on a date, and she was wearing a ring of some sort, and the homeless guy was just like, "I know you're here with your wife and all, but can you please spare a dollar", that was funny, given we were both like 19 or 20.

I am certain the reason why I freak out internally is because I feel like I'm doing something unnatural and thus I'm psyching myself out. On my date last night, there was some lady outside with a dog, and I had no problem starting a conversation about that, I felt this urge to, and it just felt... normal.

As I've said to some guys before, the thing I hate the most about cold approaching is stopping girls on the street. I am far less uncomfortable when doing it in some setting where they're stopped. I don't know what it is, but right now, I feel like I can't bear the thought of rejection. It just feels like too much to handle. Especially because I always have the impression that if I approach some girl on the street in the city, she's literally going to tell me to fuck off.

I watched Andy's video on handling rejection. I think I need to spend a few days processing the feelings I felt from my last AA drill session, so that I can move on from them and not stay stuck in the past. Part of what makes me feel fucked up was that I'm pretty sure one of the girls looked genuinely creeped out when I did it. Or maybe that's just my mind remembering it as worse than it was. I don't think I was actually being creepy as 3 out of the 5 girls I did ask didn't ignore me, but yeah.

BTW, if you ever wanna take Tinder photos sometime, I'd be down. I got a DSLR & tripod.

Thanks for your response bro, much appreciated