Ravi, Year 3: Self-Improvement Log - Data-Driven, Incremental Growth [DISCIPLINE]

[drz]

Kewl stuff about the kiss close on Sunday. Which venue did you end up going to and encountering her at?

 

[Ravi]

Kewl stuff about the kiss close on Sunday. Which venue did you end up going to and encountering her at?

Was in Atik my man!

Keep hammering,
MAC

 

[Ravi]

Interesting therapy session today. My therapist was happy I connected with someone the week before, and was happy that I want to give love as much as I want to receive it.

Also, had a good discussion about childhood development.

My childhood was def. challenging, very stressful, and not necessarily the safest place to be. It's understandable why I didn't get my needs met in 30 years and why I began to feel bad about myself.

Basically, and I am open about this, I do really want to be nurtured and loved. It's human, we all want it, and for me, the goal is to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see reflecting back: a man who is doing his best, trying his best, and wants to be all he can be. I am not there, yet, but to get there, I will need to love and accept myself.

She recommended listening to an audiobook by Brene Brown called The Power of Vulnerability.

I have now downloaded it.

Going for a walk now, and will listen to it.

Will unwind after that. This day was solid.

Keep hammering,
MAC

 

[Now]

Therapy and facing past issues & emotions takes serious stones, big props man.
It's not one of the "glamorous" forms of self-improvement, inspiring to see someone tackle it!

 

[Ravi]

For sure man, like many things in life, the thing we want to face the least is there the growth is. Face the dragon, get the gold, a story as old as time.

WED 18/08/21

-Core (DONE)
-Movement & Stretching
-Cold Thermogenesis
-Cold Approach
-Digital Marketing (1hr, submit homework)
-Video Work: Shoot 1 video
-Dick maxxing: Jelq & Pull

Keep attacking,
MAC

 

[drz]

Kewl stuff about the kiss close on Sunday. Which venue did you end up going to and encountering her at?

Was in Atik my man!

Keep hammering,
MAC

Oh man that place? There're Atik clubs all around the south, and I'd personally never venture into one so good on you for the score.

 

[Ravi]

WED 18/08/21

-Core (DONE)
-Movement & Stretching (DONE)
-Cold Thermogenesis (DONE)
-Cold Approach (FAILED)
-Digital Marketing (1hr, submit homework) (FAILED)
-Video Work: Shoot 1 video (FAILED)
-Dick maxxing: Jelq & Pull (FAILED)

So, day started pretty good, had a few spanners in the works with my job and ended up having to get on a 2hr MS Teams meeting with the CEO to solve some problems, lol. That meant I couldn't do cold approach today.

Mood was good, but then, I just got some haunting shit from the past hitting me. It was those years on the side lines, trying to go out and meet women for many years and getting nowhere, while other dudes were getting success. They are quite sad memories for me that come back from time to time and just really hurt.

So, it got to around 730PM, I was going to do digital marketing study at that stage, shoot a quick video, and then wrap up with some dick work. But my head just got destroyed.

I have now (at 8pm) opted to just take the rest of the day off, do some self care, and relax and be kind to myself. Heaven knows I need it.

Worked hard overall, so day was OK.

OLD:
300 hinge messages
100 swipes tinder and bumble
2 tinder boosts and 1 boost on bumble

Just nothing happening for me. It definitely makes me feel some type of way, like I am not going to find somebody. :-(

Chicks basically just do not respond. Lady I met in the club didn’t even bother reading my message. I know they flake and it's normal, but it just hurts because this is sort of where I have always been and I try so hard but never really get forward in a robust way.

If I didn't have my painful past, if I perhaps was shown some love a few times in my life, I would have had a totally different and more normal life. This shit wans't even my fault, that's what can really fuck with you.

Man. It’s just so hard. So hard.

But, it's nothing I can't handle. I know what it is going to take for a total piece of shit like me to become something in this world. It is going to damn near push me to the limits of my sanity. And that's OK. I will do what is required.

Anyway.

Got a reiki session tomorrow and then grinding at work. Cold approach tomorrow. Friday, approach in the day and getting in the car and going somewhere to approach at night. Saturday, in London.

Keep hammering,
MAC

 

[Toast]

Chicks basically just do not respond. Lady I met in the club didn’t even bother reading my message. I know they flake and it's normal, but it just hurts because this is sort of where I have always been and I try so hard but never really get forward in a robust way.

Flakes make up 99.9% of interactions with women. Its the hard truth unfortunately.

a total piece of shit like me

Quit it with this fuckin negative self hating mentality. you become your own worst enemy if you think like this and set yourself up for failure.

When i read your post all i hear is complaining and self pity. What does that accomplish? literally nothing. Maybe even back tracks your progress.

You are trying to move forward and change yourself. That's a lot more then other actual shit human beings who just wallow in their filth and never change.

 

[drz]

lakes make up 99.9% of interactions with women. Its the hard truth unfortunately.

In the times I've done cold approach, I seldom find that I get anything useful afterwards from short interactions. Maybe it's just my conversation style, and the fact that I'm not sexually particularly in-tune, but I find that I need to spend around 30 minutes minimum with a woman if I have a good chance of hearing back from her.

Thus MAC, I suggest that once you're in a better state with your approaches, that you go for "instant dates." It's also a good screening system - if she's clearly interested in spending a lot of time with you on the spot right after a cold approach, then this clearly would work to your advantage.

Many folks would advocate going out and collecting as many phone numbers as possible. From my experience, it often isn't worth it.

 

[Crisis_Overcomer]

Chicks basically just do not respond. Lady I met in the club didn’t even bother reading my message. I know they flake and it's normal, but it just hurts because this is sort of where I have always been and I try so hard but never really get forward in a robust way.

So much enthusiasm from girls almost always means ghosting unfortunately. I think Mike Mehlman has even said that if a girl seems into him, he thinks "Wtf? This girl is responsive? Is she a troll?" What was even worse, is that you put so much emotion into the interaction (even wrote about it here and probable mentioned it in Andy's FB group) that when you didn't get a response, it felt like a black hole in your chest.

Quit it with this fuckin negative self hating mentality. you become your own worst enemy if you think like this and set yourself up for failure.

When i read your post all i hear is complaining and self pity. What does that accomplish? literally nothing. Maybe even back tracks your progress.

You are trying to move forward and change yourself. That's a lot more then other actual shit human beings who just wallow in their filth and never change.

Agree with the Asian Ass-Clapper here.

Maybe it's just my conversation style, and the fact that I'm not sexually particularly in-tune, but I find that I need to spend around 30 minutes minimum with a woman if I have a good chance of hearing back from her.

You mean you got to talk 30 minutes in order to get a reply to a "hey" you text them? Or going out with them?

 

[Ravi]

Trying to be better, believe me, somehow I will figure it out.

THUR 19/08/21
-Gym (DONE)
-Core (DONE)
-Reiki Session (DONE)
-Video Work: Shoot 1 Video (DONE)
-Movement & Stretching
-Cold Approach
-Digital Marketing (2hrs)

Keep working,
MAC

 

[Radical]

https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/index/shut-your-mouth-rookie-redshirt-year

Probably one of Chris' best articles on mindset for newbies

I know you havent read too much GLL, but this one is a great read for guys who feel like they are failing in their first year of seriously trying to get laid

 

[Ravi]

Shit man, I really need to internalise that.

I am coming to accept, that the first year of this is just going to plain suck.

That weirdly makes me feel better.

MAC

 

[SamJ_]

WED 18/08/21

-Core (DONE)
-Movement & Stretching (DONE)
-Cold Thermogenesis (DONE)
-Cold Approach (FAILED)
-Digital Marketing (1hr, submit homework) (FAILED)
-Video Work: Shoot 1 video (FAILED)
-Dick maxxing: Jelq & Pull (FAILED)

So, day started pretty good, had a few spanners in the works with my job and ended up having to get on a 2hr MS Teams meeting with the CEO to solve some problems, lol. That meant I couldn't do cold approach today.

Mood was good, but then, I just got some haunting shit from the past hitting me. It was those years on the side lines, trying to go out and meet women for many years and getting nowhere, while other dudes were getting success. They are quite sad memories for me that come back from time to time and just really hurt.

So, it got to around 730PM, I was going to do digital marketing study at that stage, shoot a quick video, and then wrap up with some dick work. But my head just got destroyed.

I have now (at 8pm) opted to just take the rest of the day off, do some self care, and relax and be kind to myself. Heaven knows I need it.

Worked hard overall, so day was OK.

OLD:
300 hinge messages
100 swipes tinder and bumble
2 tinder boosts and 1 boost on bumble

Just nothing happening for me. It definitely makes me feel some type of way, like I am not going to find somebody. :-(

Chicks basically just do not respond. Lady I met in the club didn’t even bother reading my message. I know they flake and it's normal, but it just hurts because this is sort of where I have always been and I try so hard but never really get forward in a robust way.

If I didn't have my painful past, if I perhaps was shown some love a few times in my life, I would have had a totally different and more normal life. This shit wans't even my fault, that's what can really fuck with you.

Man. It’s just so hard. So hard.

But, it's nothing I can't handle. I know what it is going to take for a total piece of shit like me to become something in this world. It is going to damn near push me to the limits of my sanity. And that's OK. I will do what is required.

Anyway.

Got a reiki session tomorrow and then grinding at work. Cold approach tomorrow. Friday, approach in the day and getting in the car and going somewhere to approach at night. Saturday, in London.

Keep hammering,
MAC

Dude, you're only a few weeks into this and youve already made out with a girl, had a girl grind on you and stroke your hand and talk for awhile if I remember correctly. At night in bars girls just run away when I try to approach them I've never had ANY positive interaction whatsoever in a bar, so youre doing amazing. You gotta learn to enjoy that and celebrate that even if you never see them again. You even had a girl approach YOU. I've never had that happen in my entire life. You're doing way better than almost every guy who's working on approaching, certainly way better than me. When you started this you said you expected it would be a grind that would take five years and tens of thousands of approaches (realistically i highly doubt it will take that long) and now you're already back to self pity. You act like nobody's in a worse place than you or has had a worse life, that's actually a form of arrogance. I've had a horrible past in a lot of ways but I don't dwell on it on here or say how much worse I have it than everyone, what's the point? Just focus on the present and gotta just enjoy the process of approaching and realize you're already on the way. Imo, viewing it as a long brutal grind is not gonna be productive, you have to view it as being fun.

 

[Ravi]

Good points man, I take accountability for just being in a shit mood at that point, however, that was only like 2 hrs of the day I kicked ass otherwise. However, this is a thing I really need to improve on, I am not going to become the man I want to be by going into self-pity and stuff, though I will be honest, I am working hard at it and I personally feel like I am making improvements on not letting that feeling overcome me.

Thanks for everyone's post tho it is appreciated.

I am now done with work for the day and am going to get in a freezing cold tub for 20 mins of CT! Then, I am off to cold approach and put my work in today.

Keep hammering,
MAC

 

[Ravi]

Cold Approach: Was out for an hour, the earliest I could go was 730pm. It was hammering with rain and not a single girl was out.

Back tomorrow.

MAC

 

[Crisis_Overcomer]

Cold Approach: Was out for an hour, the earliest I could go was 730pm. It was hammering with rain and not a single girl was out.

Back tomorrow.

MAC

I think I also told you so in Mikes group, but Id stop cold approaching in that area. Its clear that girls are non existent. You probably have done 90% or more of your approaches ever since you came back, in clubs.

Id just invest those 60-90 minutes/day elsewhere.

 

[Ravi]

Cold Approach: Was out for an hour, the earliest I could go was 730pm. It was hammering with rain and not a single girl was out.

Back tomorrow.

MAC

I think I also told you so in Mikes group, but Id stop cold approaching in that area. Its clear that girls are non existent. You probably have done 90% or more of your approaches ever since you came back, in clubs.

Id just invest those 60-90 minutes/day elsewhere.

For sure, you did, and I personally agreed with you - however, bro, this entire city is absolute trash, with few girls in the whole place, and where there are girls, they are the epitome of a chav - if you google this, you'll see what this means, basically they are the English underclass and whilst many of the men are actually quite nice, the women are some of the most fowl creatures god ever put on this earth. Note: because of these women, this city was the STI capital of the UK for many years! I am only working here as it's where my current contract was, I am getting the fuck out soon.

When I am approaching in clubs Fri and Sat, I am actually driving around an hour, sometimes almost 2hrs, to get to those places.

I did express my concerns about this city, but the other dudes were of the opinion that I should just make it work here. I am at a total loss as to how to do this, and the comparison drawn was to Sam who also lives in a low population area, yet reading his log, it doesn't compute to me as he still appears to find girls, many of whom sound pretty, to approach. Pretty girls here are very very few and far between, many are not easy on the eye lets just put it that way.

I am simply at a total loss as to how I am supposed to make this situation work for day time approach, I don't know what to do. I am moving to London in Oct. I will keep trying with OLD, and will keep going to clubs.

MAC

 

[Ravi]

All being said, today was a productive ass day.

I will approach in a diff location tomorrow, I will go to a mall or something, there are 1 or 2 in this city, I will try those for a week or two.

Nighttime, I will be driving an hour to another city, parking up and hitting the club!!!!

Saturday, in London, out approaching on my own in the day, and meeting TimmyTurner at night to hit the clubs with him!

Sunday, some guy messaged me asking if we could approach together, well I said sure lets do it this Sunday, and he went radio silent. I will do it myself in London. Monday morning will come back to this shithole and repeat the process.

MAC

 

[SamJ_]

Cold Approach: Was out for an hour, the earliest I could go was 730pm. It was hammering with rain and not a single girl was out.

Back tomorrow.

MAC

Yeah I've had that happen. Are there any college campuses/malls where you live?