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Ravi, Year 3: Self-Improvement Log - Data-Driven, Incremental Growth. Feedback Welcome. Ego & Defenses, Dropping [XMAS MESSAGE FROM MAC]

Bought another 15 boosts. Will keep going on the dating apps, but it's looking grim.

MAC
 
I really love reading your progress man. I watched your podcast with Andy today and it's really really inspirational. I really hope you have success with everything you're after. I'm also a beginner with approaching and I was also wondering about your approaches. You said most of the girls you approach completely ignore you, so I was wondering how you're approaching. Are you just saying hi, or are you telling them they're attractive, then asking them what they're up to and trying to start a conversation? Just curious because I used to just say hi to a ton of girls hoping they'd wanna talk to me and got ignored pretty much every time. But when I started calling them attractive straight up, and always had the objective of asking them out and getting their number and/or snapchat or something, they usually haven't been ignoring me completely (although tons of rejections haha). Biggest thing (which I'm still working on too) is to be direct in your approaches and always approach in a way where the girl pretty much has to acknowledge you, even if it's a really brutal rejection.
 
canderson said:
Love your mentality, man. Success is inevitable.

I'm curious: how are you studying Spanish?
Click to expand...

Appreciate it man. Long road yet but I have fight in me ;-)

Of course, I study a Spanish program for one hour per day, and then I spent 30 mins writing out phrases I would use for me to memorise them. I then spend 30 mins watching Spanish TV, so it's a commitment of 2 hr per day. The Spanish program I use is called Metodo and is like 10 dollars on Udemy, but you can also download Michel Thomas Method or Pimsleur, they're all the same thing.

Thanks for your post it means a lot.

SamJ_ said:
I really love reading your progress man. I watched your podcast with Andy today and it's really really inspirational. I really hope you have success with everything you're after. I'm also a beginner with approaching and I was also wondering about your approaches. You said most of the girls you approach completely ignore you, so I was wondering how you're approaching. Are you just saying hi, or are you telling them they're attractive, then asking them what they're up to and trying to start a conversation? Just curious because I used to just say hi to a ton of girls hoping they'd wanna talk to me and got ignored pretty much every time. But when I started calling them attractive straight up, and always had the objective of asking them out and getting their number and/or snapchat or something, they usually haven't been ignoring me completely (although tons of rejections haha). Biggest thing (which I'm still working on too) is to be direct in your approaches and always approach in a way where the girl pretty much has to acknowledge you, even if it's a really brutal rejection.
Click to expand...

Thank you Sam, I truly appreciate the support.

Well, we talked about this on the call last night. We think there may be a cultural issue here, because the English folks I spoke to were super cool and we talked for hours, they invited me for drinks, etc, but the Canarian people are absolute cunts. They simply don't interact with you. I am approaching all of them directly.

As such, I am cutting this AirBNB short by a month and heading to the South of the Island which is very touristy and I will approach there. Note, I have done cold approach before, 7 years ago, and can generally talk to people. My experience here is super strange and we think it's a cultural thing. I will do what I can to salvage the trip and I think I will have better luck in connecting with the tourists as opposed to the native people.

MattsCrib said:
SamJ_ said:
I really love reading your progress man. I watched your podcast with Andy today and it's really really inspirational. I really hope you have success with everything you're after. I'm also a beginner with approaching and I was also wondering about your approaches. You said most of the girls you approach completely ignore you, so I was wondering how you're approaching. Are you just saying hi, or are you telling them they're attractive, then asking them what they're up to and trying to start a conversation? Just curious because I used to just say hi to a ton of girls hoping they'd wanna talk to me and got ignored pretty much every time. But when I started calling them attractive straight up, and always had the objective of asking them out and getting their number and/or snapchat or something, they usually haven't been ignoring me completely (although tons of rejections haha). Biggest thing (which I'm still working on too) is to be direct in your approaches and always approach in a way where the girl pretty much has to acknowledge you, even if it's a really brutal rejection.
Click to expand...

I'm kinda curious too since probably you and me both can say that he is NOT unattractive. (on top of being freaking 6 foot 5)
Click to expand...

I am grinding hard with weight loss man, I weighed 226.0 this morning, and the rest will fall off too. However, I do have some fat on my body. In my opinion, women will not cut a man any slack, we must come in shape, well put together, and be able to compete with the best. Or be left to rot. I will keep showing up every day and bust my ass. We could get bitter and resentful or we can accept reality and work even harder.

MAC
 
This apartment sucks because I have to hear the bitch upstairs getting fucked about 5 times a day lol.
 
THURS 24/06/21

Action Points:
-Gym (DONE, Legs)
-Core (DONE)
-Movement & Stretching (DONE)
-Digital Marketing (DONE, 1 hr)
-Intermittent Fasting (DONE)

Cleaned the apartment (I deep clean 3 x per week), bought some bits from the shops, and did my job remotely (I'm only doing 16 hours per week while I'm here).

Do the work & stay the course,
MAC
 
Sat 26/06/21

Really am busting my arse in the gym, working hard, as I need to. I'm in there 5 x per week and I think my body is changing a bit. Pictures soon. Had a nice day today just wandering around in the sun doing photography. Enjoyed it. I think my physique looks SLIGHTLY better than before because I think I did have one woman turn her head to look at me when I was doing my photos. That doesn't tend to happen to me so that was interesting. Believe me, I have a long way to go, but I know I am going to give it my all every day. At the beach tomorrow and will just be wandering around in a pair of shorts. This is a useful barometer.

Other than that, nothing at all is happening on any of the dating apps, no matches yet, swiping every day and doing boosts etc. When my brother comes to visit me in 4 weeks time, I will get him to do new pics of me. My camera is solid (Canon ESO M50 w/ Sigma 1.5f lens). I have to do this.

Been feeling quite lonely to be honest. You don't know how good it would feel to have somebody to hold and go to bed with. This feeling drives me. Emotions are powerful and they can push you towards your objectives.

-Gym (DONE)
-Core (DONE)
-Photography (DONE)
-Digital Marketing (DONE, 1hr)
-Intermittent Fasting (DONE, today was a 24hr water fast!)

Just got one hour of Spanish now, and then gonna lay in bed and listen to Jordan Peterson's Beyond Order.

One day, my life will improve. I will find a way to meet women who really want to know me and spend time with me. And I will keep going from there. You don't know how hard I am willing to work for this. I know it's not good to go on and on about the effort we're putting in, but I kind of need to mentally reassure myself that I am going to be OK if I grind my fucking bones to dust and never, ever give up. If I can get a wife and start a family from this shit man, it will be the most amazing feeling of accomplishment I could even imagine. Maybe one day I could tell her about the savage journey it took. Maybe, or maybe I'll save that one just for you. Either way, I'm gonna get bodied the fuck up and find a way to start connecting with women.

"I had to look at myself in the mirror and be honest with myself. I had to be brutally honest and say "I don't know how to do this, but I'm going to fucking fail, and fucking fail, and fucking fail, and fucking fail, until I succeed"
-David Goggins.

The King of No Excuses.

MAC
 
MON 28th

Got my sleep back on track, figured out how to get blackout blinds working in this apartment, and I'm back on my regime of using blue blockers after 7pm. So that's good. Weight loss is going well, gym is going well, and I am also enjoying my life spending time in the sun, on the beach, and wandering around taking photos. Normally I cook for myself but let myself eat out yesterday which was nice.

I am consistent with studying digital marketing and spanish. I am completing my work remotely, albeit on a reduced hours basis.

Dating life is, of course, going terrible. Putting in the work swiping and messaging daily on all 8 apps, but simply not getting any interest. I did cold approach daily for 1.5-2 hours and that was pretty brutal to be honest, no one would say a word to me, so I have put that one to bed here. I will start the process over elsewhere. My brother is visiting in a few weeks so I will get a new set of pictures taken, now I have lost more weight, this may help me. Or it may not. My expectations aren't high. Either way, I'll keep going....

Even when things are completely hopeless, like they are for me, and probably will be for many, many years, you still have to give it your all. I see plenty of dudes half-assing it, putting in hardly any effort, and getting rewarded for it. Part of me wonders how that will bare out in the final analysis? Does the Universe reward laziness? Does the human genome reward mediocrity? I am not convinced about that. The old maxim says that hard work pays off, so what if I give it everything I have got for 5 years, where will I be? Maybe I will have a better life than many of these dudes living life on easy mode. We'll see I geuss.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
Does the Universe reward laziness? Does the human genome reward mediocrity? I am not convinced about that. The old maxim says that hard work pays off, so what if I give it everything I have got for 5 years, where will I be? Maybe I will have a better life than many of these dudes living life on easy mode. We'll see I geuss.
Click to expand...

Even if it did reward laziness, would that make you give up and accept whatever lot life gives you? From what I've seen so far, I don't think so. Mediocrity works if you are already happy where you are, but if you want to change your life hard work is the only way to go.
 
That's a really good point, thanks for your post Adam man, I appreciate you checking in. Hope you are grinding away yourself.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
MON 28th

Got my sleep back on track, figured out how to get blackout blinds working in this apartment, and I'm back on my regime of using blue blockers after 7pm. So that's good. Weight loss is going well, gym is going well, and I am also enjoying my life spending time in the sun, on the beach, and wandering around taking photos. Normally I cook for myself but let myself eat out yesterday which was nice.

I am consistent with studying digital marketing and spanish. I am completing my work remotely, albeit on a reduced hours basis.

Dating life is, of course, going terrible. Putting in the work swiping and messaging daily on all 8 apps, but simply not getting any interest. I did cold approach daily for 1.5-2 hours and that was pretty brutal to be honest, no one would say a word to me, so I have put that one to bed here. I will start the process over elsewhere. My brother is visiting in a few weeks so I will get a new set of pictures taken, now I have lost more weight, this may help me. Or it may not. My expectations aren't high. Either way, I'll keep going....

Even when things are completely hopeless, like they are for me, and probably will be for many, many years, you still have to give it your all. I see plenty of dudes half-assing it, putting in hardly any effort, and getting rewarded for it. Part of me wonders how that will bare out in the final analysis? Does the Universe reward laziness? Does the human genome reward mediocrity? I am not convinced about that. The old maxim says that hard work pays off, so what if I give it everything I have got for 5 years, where will I be? Maybe I will have a better life than many of these dudes living life on easy mode. We'll see I geuss.

MAC
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Great to see you keep going even when things are tough. Have you thought about doing cold approach either in the US or UK? Youre unlikely to get ignored by girls completely at least in the Midwestern US, people are generally nice with some exceptions of course. I assume people are reasonably friendly in the UK too.
 
Hey man. Yeah, I'm heading back home to the UK soon, in about 6 weeks, and I will go at it there. They're WAY WAY nicer there! Generally people speak to each other and it's not a problem at all, I racked up 2k approaches when I was 21/22, but was an anxious mess then.....but this time, it's personal ;-)

MAC
 
Yesterday, went to the gym and then spent all day on the beach yesterday, was super chill, but it really heals your circadian biology so by the time it got to around 10 I couldn't keeo my eyes open. I sent an apology to the group for the coaching call and got some sleep.

Been using a boost once a day, and I actually FINALLY got some matches. Three really beautiful girls matched with me. Two of them have actually been responding, but we'll see what comes of it. Still, progress is progress.

WEDNESDAY 30/06/21

-Digital Marketing (2hrs, done)
-Spanish (2hrs, done)
-Core (Done)
-Movement & Stretching 1 hr (Done)
-Mathematics (1hr, Done)

Rest day from gym, back to hammering the weights tomorrow, weight is coming off, muscles are coming back, and I have had a lady turn her head to look at me once or twice. First time this has happened in years and years. It feels good to slowly getting incrementally closer to being back on the radar of the fairer sex. I want to be with them bad and am doing the work to be able to hold one in my arms. It'll come.

MAC
 
Intense day of work ahead, boss wants me to work out project costings for a whole portfolio of projects, which means creating several work breakdown structures, performing estimates, creating critical path network diagrams, and then getting some figures out for how much it'll all cost for her to approve. Thankfully at this point I can do something like this in a day but it's a tight deadline lol. Anywaym just wanted to say that this contract ends on the 31st of July and I am going to keep learning digital marketing. I will go home in August and just hammer digital marketing and get a new role in the industry. There will begin a 18 month plan to build a freelance business alongside a fulltime role and then get promoted into a role that pays more whilst looking to set up a business.

I will get there. Weight will keep coming down, gym will keep getting hammered, and I will keep improving myself and taking action every day with women.

MAC
 
FRI 02/07/21

-Gym (DONE)
-Core (DONE)
-Movement & Stretching (DONE)
-Spanish (Done, 1.5 hours)
-Intermittent Fasting (DONE)

Ate well today, and will get to bed early and sleep up, healing up from the warfare in the gym! Work was fine, got some tasks done for my boss, I'm helping her restructure the organisation which is quite interesting and fun. I've been on the other side of a restructure and it sucked, it's fun to be on this side, thinking purely in terms of how to make this place a better, more well-oiled machine.

Had a good zoom call with my best friend, and then facetimed my brother and my Mum. Really enjoyed talking to them.

I feel really lonely, for the first time in a long time. After dinner I walked over to a gelato place and got 4 scoops. I adjusted my diet today to accommodate for this. Anyway, I sat down on a bench, enjoyed the ice cream and people watched for a while. The Canary Islands are home to some of the most beautiful humans I've seen in my life. I saw some really great looking girls. I will be honest, because I am feeling quite lonely, it really hurt watching some of them go by. You don't know how good it would feel to me to be able to sit down and talk to one of them. My time will come. My heart is pretty heavy but I have shored all the holes in my regime, diet is on point, using I.F, training 5 x a week, swiping and taking action on dating apps daily (dried up again, got another 10 boosts). I will make myself more attractive and I will make my life work.

It's painful when you are clawing your way up from the bottom, but you have to fight with all you've got to get on even ground. I'll keep showing up. I look forward to the day when my log isn't mired in deep scarcity. It will mean a lot to me.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
FRI 02/07/21

-Gym (DONE)
-Core (DONE)
-Movement & Stretching (DONE)
-Spanish (Done, 1.5 hours)
-Intermittent Fasting (DONE)

Ate well today, and will get to bed early and sleep up, healing up from the warfare in the gym! Work was fine, got some tasks done for my boss, I'm helping her restructure the organisation which is quite interesting and fun. I've been on the other side of a restructure and it sucked, it's fun to be on this side, thinking purely in terms of how to make this place a better, more well-oiled machine.

Had a good zoom call with my best friend, and then facetimed my brother and my Mum. Really enjoyed talking to them.

I feel really lonely, for the first time in a long time. After dinner I walked over to a gelato place and got 4 scoops. It adjusted my diet today to accommodate for this. Anyway, I saw down on a bench, enjoyed the ice cream and people watched for a while. The Canary Islands are home to some of the most beautiful humans I've seen in my life. I saw some really great looking girls. I will be honest, because I am feeling quite lonely, it really hurt watching some of them go by. You don't know how good it would feel to me to be able to sit down and talk to one of them. My time will come. My heart is pretty heavy but I have shored all the holes in my regime, diet is on point, using I.F, training 5 x a week, swiping and taking action on dating apps daily (dried up again, got another 10 boosts). I will make myself more attractive and I will make my life work.

It's painful when you are clawing your way up from the bottom, but you have to fight with all you've got to get on even ground. I'll keep showing up. I look forward to the day when my log isn't mired in deep scarcity. It will mean a lot to me.

MAC
Click to expand...

I really appreciate reading your stuff. I think you're too insecure about your appearance tho, I think you are a good looking guy and better looking than me for sure. You don't have to work that hard in the gym just for girls, you should do it for your own health. I'd say prioritize moving away from the Canary Islands because women in other places will be nicer I'm guessing. It sounds like your biggest problem is your location.
 
SamJ_ said:
MakingAComeback said:
FRI 02/07/21

-Gym (DONE)
-Core (DONE)
-Movement & Stretching (DONE)
-Spanish (Done, 1.5 hours)
-Intermittent Fasting (DONE)

Ate well today, and will get to bed early and sleep up, healing up from the warfare in the gym! Work was fine, got some tasks done for my boss, I'm helping her restructure the organisation which is quite interesting and fun. I've been on the other side of a restructure and it sucked, it's fun to be on this side, thinking purely in terms of how to make this place a better, more well-oiled machine.

Had a good zoom call with my best friend, and then facetimed my brother and my Mum. Really enjoyed talking to them.

I feel really lonely, for the first time in a long time. After dinner I walked over to a gelato place and got 4 scoops. It adjusted my diet today to accommodate for this. Anyway, I saw down on a bench, enjoyed the ice cream and people watched for a while. The Canary Islands are home to some of the most beautiful humans I've seen in my life. I saw some really great looking girls. I will be honest, because I am feeling quite lonely, it really hurt watching some of them go by. You don't know how good it would feel to me to be able to sit down and talk to one of them. My time will come. My heart is pretty heavy but I have shored all the holes in my regime, diet is on point, using I.F, training 5 x a week, swiping and taking action on dating apps daily (dried up again, got another 10 boosts). I will make myself more attractive and I will make my life work.

It's painful when you are clawing your way up from the bottom, but you have to fight with all you've got to get on even ground. I'll keep showing up. I look forward to the day when my log isn't mired in deep scarcity. It will mean a lot to me.

MAC
Click to expand...

I really appreciate reading your stuff. I think you're too insecure about your appearance tho, I think you are a good looking guy and better looking than me for sure. You don't have to work that hard in the gym just for girls, you should do it for your own health. I'd say prioritize moving away from the Canary Islands because women in other places will be nicer I'm guessing. It sounds like your biggest problem is your location.
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Hey thank you for your post, Sam. I am grateful to hear that.

OK, so we have a different perspective on this, and that's completely OK. I think I am objectively ugly, but this is due to being 20lbs overweight. When I lose that, and I will do that come hell or high water, at 200lbs (@ 6 ft 5), I will look normal enough to be biologically viable for a small number of women to consider wanting to spend time with me. That would genuinely massively, massively improve my life and put me towards the life I want.

I think we as people need to be able to hear the brutal truth, even when it really hurts. Obviously, you have to have something of a relationship with someone to be able to have a truly critical conversation with them, that's where coaching comes in and believe me, I am working on what I need to work on. I wouldn't speak as harshly as this to other people because I have no business at all doing that, i'm not a coach, nor is anything like that my focus. My goals are clear and I will grind myself into a fucking fine powder for them. Anyway, I believe men who are in my position have to understand that they're too ugly to be in the gene pool, and the focus then must become intense, on making yourself good enough. . With respect, you're very young, and still have a lot of youthful idealism. I did when I was 24 too, and that's good. But, as you keep progressing in life and keep achieving goals year after year, you will see objective reality more clearly.

Basically, it's like a market transaction. If a product isn't good enough, no one will buy it. Nature is red in tooth and claw, dude. Women are simply the gate-keepers of the savage essence of the evolutionary spirit, and the strong survive. Everything else is weeded out, the bones of the weak bleach the plaines that echo into the horizon. I understand I am not good enough, and I get up every day and attackk the problem with relentless vigour. The enemy must know you are never, ever, ever going to give in. ;-) No one wants me in my current form, but I won't be 20lbs overweight for long. The tables will turn one day. I am literally busting my arse here to become good enough. And that is exactly what I should be doing.

Location wise, yes, the Canaries is not good for a guy who is at my level. These women are stunning and they know it. I may come back in 2 or 3 years after 3 years of brutality in the gym. It will be interesting.

Note, gym isn't just for women, it's for mental fortitude. In life, the mind is primary. My task is to become extremely comfortable being sickeningly uncomfortable.

"I had to callous over the victim's mentality that was deep in my mind. I had to build this savage mentality. You want to break my mother-fucking legs? So be it"
-David Goggins

The motto I am going to live the rest of my life by is simpley this: No Excuses.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
SamJ_ said:
I really appreciate reading your stuff. I think you're too insecure about your appearance tho, I think you are a good looking guy and better looking than me for sure. You don't have to work that hard in the gym just for girls, you should do it for your own health. I'd say prioritize moving away from the Canary Islands because women in other places will be nicer I'm guessing. It sounds like your biggest problem is your location.
Click to expand...

Hey thank you for your post, Sam. I am grateful to hear that.

OK, so we have a different perspective on this, and that's completely OK. I think I am objectively ugly, but this is due to being 20lbs overweight. When I lose that, and I will do that come hell or high water, at 200lbs (@ 6 ft 5), I will look normal enough to be biologically viable for a small number of women to consider wanting to spend time with me. That would genuinely massively, massively improve my life and put me towards the life I want.

I think we as people need to be able to hear the brutal truth, even when it really hurts. Obviously, you have to have something of a relationship with someone to be able to have a truly critical conversation with them, that's where coaching comes in and believe me, I am working on what I need to work on. I wouldn't speak as harshly as this to other people because I have no business at all doing that, i'm not a coach, nor is anything like that my focus. My goals are clear and I will grind myself into a fucking fine powder for them. Anyway, I believe men who are in my position have to understand that they're too ugly to be in the gene pool, and the focus then must become intense, on making yourself good enough. . With respect, you're very young, and still have a lot of youthful idealism. I did when I was 24 too, and that's good. But, as you keep progressing in life and keep achieving goals year after year, you will see objective reality more clearly.

Basically, it's like a market transaction. If a product isn't good enough, no one will buy it. Nature is red in tooth and claw, dude. Women are simply the gate-keepers of the savage essence of the evolutionary spirit, and the strong survive. Everything else is weeded out, the bones of the weak bleach the plaines that echo into the horizon. I understand I am not good enough, and I get up every day and attach the problem with relentless vigour. The enemy must know you are never, ever, ever going to give in. ;-) No one wants me in my current form, but I won't be 20lbs overweight for long. The tables will turn one day. I am literally busting my arse here to become good enough. And that is exactly what I should be doing.

Location wise, yes, the Canaries is not good for a guy who is at my level. These women are stunning and they know it. I may come back in 2 or 3 years after 3 years of brutality in the gym. It will be interesting.

Note, gym isn't just for women, it's for mental fortitude. In life, the mind is primary. My task is to become extremely comfortable being sickeningly uncomfortable.

"I had to callous over the victim's mentality that was deep in my mind. I had to build this savage mentality. You want to break my mother-fucking legs? So be it"
-David Goggins

The motto I am going to live the rest of my life by is simple this: No Excuses.

MAC
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I'm gonna have to disagree with a lot of what you said although I really appreciate your attitude and your relentless dedication to what you're doing. But I think your attitude about yourself is a bit messed up. You seem to think you're not good enough for any woman and are too "ugly" to be in the gene pool. And when you lose the weight you're trying to lose, then everything will work out. It's not that simple. The vast majority of women will still reject you even if you are in perfect shape, and then you'll get even more insecure. It's about confidence more than looks. I guarantee right now there is some woman in the world who you find attractive who would also find you attractive just as you are. You just have to talk to a high number of women. That's not to say losing weight and getting in shape is bad--it's not, it's a really good idea in fact. It's really important to look as good as you can. but your attitude that you are not attractive enough to be in the gene pool and don't deserve a woman's attention until you lose weight is NOT a healthy attitude to have imo. Thats just my two cents anyway.
 
I respect what you're saying, and thank you for sharing, but we will have to agree to disagree on this one. Much of attraction is biological. A great documentary on this is Human Instinct, which I saw when I was around 11 years old on BBC 1. It was a superb education and actually, was quite empowering to know. The human genome is not stupid, and you can't outthink nature. It's beyond words.

You know I have been trying to find a girl for 12 years, and really have done it all, so I don't make these propositions lightly. By the time I was your age I had already approached 2 thousand women and was messaging on the primitive dating apps of the day every single day to no avail. I understand it is a numbers game, with respect, I understand more than you may think as I gave this process my all for many, many years. This is my second concerted attempt, hence my username.

Nonetheless, I accept this may be really hard for some. Too bad, the world is extremely harsh and the weak get their throats cut, get passed over for promotion, and get the worst lot. The winner takes it all in life. I'm going to become that guy and will prove it's possible to go from being a guy who is not biologically fit to reproduce, to having a family and a happy home. You're right in that I will probably still get rejected a tonne even with 8 pack abs, and I'm fine with that, I will just have to work harder than anyone else out there. So be it,

MAC
 
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