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Ravi, Year 4: Self-Improvement Log - Data-Driven, Incremental Growth [ADMIN DAY]

YO BROS

Thanks for the comments, and I loved the discussion above.

I took a lot from everything & learn things every day. I thank you for the valuable discussion, that not only helps me, but also, supports the forum.

I understand the viewpoints expressed, and all from smart, very capable, proven men who know their shit. So I respect all that is shared above, and I hear it fully. I have liked all the posts and will spend more time doing some thinking and reflection.

Life is such a hustle rn man. I don't have a lot of time, feel a bit like a mess due to having so much to catch up with, which annoys me. I am very much a man who loves to push in this life and when I feel like I am letting myself down...it makes me a little insane....lol

Good Updates:

Return of the Silverback Gorilla - The Dom

The Dom was in town briefly, to drop some stuff off at mine and Paw's pad, because he will be spending a few days with us this weekend.

He was with Paw, Mr W (a day gamer here, and a great guy), chopping up, and I ran down to join them.

Firstly, he was looking J-J-J-J-JACKED.

Upon greeting, the threat of physical violence was pretty immediate, a singular Birkenstock had made it's way across the seas to just act as a reminder, that there is some pain and punishment to come.....

Asides from the expected Dom behaviour, ie, asking why my biceps are still so fucking small, and laughing at me for crying on the forum, with accompanying "wahhhhhhh" sounds, (Doms gonna Dom, as usual), he spit some wisdom, we hung out, made some very Non-PC jokes, and had a good time. But part of me knew, and was braced for, the difficult conversations that are likely going to follow.

These, are not fun. Honestly, they absolutely suck. You will feel physically sick.

But, there is no avoiding it, if you are serious, you will endure.

If you ever do any coaching or mentoring with The Dom, which is not easy to obtain and not offered publically, you'll have to be smart and resourceful to work out how to get it, but if you do, for ethical reasons I must warn you: you will have your ego and identity fucking shattered. And then, from that, you will build yourself back up. Into the best version of yourself. And performance is f**king demanded. Not asked for, DEMANDED. That is how winning is done.

Few things I'll share for the forum, because you read me, you get the value too:

-"I gave you the timeline of 2 years, of HARD, DAILY WORK, as a total minimum, to not bullshit you. For you, it really will take that long, as a MINIMUM, because you have a long way to go....."
-"You will cry about fears of never being able to find someone and start a family, but if you really want to obtain that, it will happen from a place of genuine outcome independence. I am outcome independent because I have been through this journey, and like all who really travelled it, have been burned many times. I earned the ability to truly, at my core, not care if I get laid, or if I don't. You will need to get there, and if you do the work, and your core truly no longer is grasping for certain outcomes, you'll find that this is what will attract the things you seek"

Furthermore, he also outlined realistic expectations.

When he was slaying in Budapest, he had:
-Killer physique (and I mean, KILLER, ripped abs, huge arms, chest, insane)
-Top style, top grooming
-KILLER Game (he is insanely good, and was at his peak game he said)
-Hustling VERY HARD, these would have been sets that were at a very high level of technical proficiency, from a High SMV male, in peak physical condition, with a great archetype (Italian charmer, it's dynamite)

So, I can see why he did so well, and there is a large gap between that, and me right now.....lol......

Now, the not so fun parts.

I knew something was coming, and there was no delaying the inevitable.

"I will see you on Friday, and as you know, there will have to be some pain and punishment"

Game Improvements: Feedback from Master Pancake & Rags2Bitches

We've been on the grind together now, for a while, and Pancake listened to my day game audios and remarked that yesterday was pretty solid.

This, was GREAT news.

From the messages, Rags also expressed encouraging signs of improvement.

I got 2 girls to exchange yesterday. One, was a very pretty chick, does a fair bit of modelling actually, and whom did reply to my initial feeler, replied to me probing logistics, and whom I am about to send a VN to now.

What felt good yesterday, was coming back from the session, pinging the contacts I got, and then at the top of my IG messages, getting messages from Tattoo girl and the chick from yesterday, at the same time. Having two gorgeous red heads message, with their profile pics looking super similar, was just a good feeling.

Signs of PROGRESS

This, is good, but I have a long way to go.

I am not closing any of these chicks, and I really am still struggling to convert. 15-20 dates for a lay atm, and this is too much man, I am doing badly with that, and will keep working on resolving this.

At the end of the day, no one likes to be in deep scarcity, for it to take so long, but no one shirks the work, and I need to just keep improving my mindset, my game, and get some outcomes going for this log.

I don't want you having to patiently wait 10+ months to see things moving here.

I will become better, and the future will be brighter for it.

Pancake did ask, what was it about today that meant the audios showed this improvement. I'll be honest:

-Momentary Escape From Deep Scarcity: Just having Tattoo girl to talk to, and her texting me and sending me stuff each day, is strangely healing. When I walk around the streets, I just didn't feel so undesirable, so unattractive, and like a fucking loser. I felt like a man like everyone else. This isn't good, because it's dependent on external forces. I should always feel like I have value. Because I do. We all do.

As Men, when we start to lose our sense of value, and feel as if we are deeply unattractive to woman, and that they don't want to be with us, and when you are also in deep scarcity, and receiving nothing on the online dating apps, nothing from approaches, and get stuck there for almost 1 year straight, this burrows into your brain like a parasite and your whole world becomes unstable.

However..............it's just not true.

You do the hard ass work, and you WILL obtain outcomes. You hustle for long and hard enough, and it WILL create SOMETHING.

If you get off your ass, and just fucking WORK, believe me, something will happen.

And if I was genuinely so low in my looks and attractiveness, I am pretty sure hotties like Tattoo Girl, and the model whose DMs I am in right now (and getting replies from), wouldn't have given me the time of day.

I will reset my dating apps as per Pancake's message above. Seems like they're fucked again!

The truth is, I am not that bad. I have room for improvement, yes, but right now, I am not that horrible to look at, and there are some women out there, who will talk to me and give me the time of day.

Now, getting from that, to building a sex life, is not so simple, not so easy, and goes far beyond the scope of what I initially thought.

But we are piecing it together, one step at a time.

_____

This is what the masculine journey is like.

There is freedom, and brighter possibilities and vistas, for the truly dedicated male who is willing to put his ego aside, be humbled, and put in a level of work that is felt in the very bones. I, despite making progress, have a long way to go. And I am also, honest enough to admit, that I am still weak in many areas. The physique needs a lot of work. Game, is improving, but is still at a low level. Inner game, is really bad with me.

But, one thing is for certain.

I will f**king grind to obtain a better life, and to have a better impact in this world, and will not stop until I am f**king dead.

BACK TO WORK

MAC
 
pancakemouse said:
On a different note, for everyone else who has been bombarded by MAC claiming he gets "jack shit" on apps, I set up a Tinder Platinum profile for him in Budapest and have accrued 25 matches in 1.5 weeks, doing 100 outbound likes per day.

Unfortunately, despite knowing that this paints a disparate picture of what MAC wants to claim his app attraction level is, he hasn't taken any action on resetting his own profiles or taking control of the one I created for him.
Click to expand...

I’m waiting an explanation from Mac on this one as I would be the happiest man on earth with those ratios
 
MakingAComeback said:
There is freedom, and brighter possibilities and vistas, for the truly dedicated male who is willing to put his ego aside, be humbled, and put in a level of work that is felt in the very bones
Click to expand...

If you recall, in one of your red pill rage moments “women have it easy” I told you that in reality, our life as men, is overall easier.

We have the luxury to change our life entirely with dedication and hard work.
 
AskTheDom said:
I’m waiting an explanation from Mac on this one as I would be the happiest man on earth with those ratios
Click to expand...

I'm on record saying that he gets more and higher quality matches than me.

So, the solution for me, a low SMV white male, is to paint myself brown and take new pics.
 
MakingAComeback said:
Momentary Escape From Deep Scarcity: Just having Tattoo girl to talk to, and her texting me and sending me stuff each day, is strangely healing. When I walk around the streets, I just didn't feel so undesirable, so unattractive, and like a fucking loser. I felt like a man like everyone else. This isn't good, because it's dependent on external forces. I should always feel like I have value. Because I do. We all do
Click to expand...

This is another thing I had in mind when I was trying to get you not to end things with tattoo girl prematurely.

As you say, it's less than the ideal of having a deep, unshakeable, internally-derived confidence in your attractiveness, but having a few attractive women in your life is still the quickest hack I know of to get more comfortable around hot women, and to get familiar with a feeling of abundance
(very similar to getting yourself into one of yohami's girl tornados)

MakingAComeback said:
if I was genuinely so low in my looks and attractiveness, I am pretty sure hotties like Tattoo Girl, and the model whose DMs I am in right now (and getting replies from), wouldn't have given me the time of day.

I will reset my dating apps as per Pancake's message above. Seems like they're fucked again!

The truth is, I am not that bad. I have room for improvement, yes, but right now, I am not that horrible to look at, and there are some women out there, who will talk to me and give me the time of day.

Now, getting from that, to building a sex life, is not so simple, not so easy, and goes far beyond the scope of what I initially thought.

But we are piecing it together, one step at a time.
Click to expand...

Even though you are still far more attractive than you realize, this is a huge improvement compared to how you used to constantly flagellate yourself.

Great job, and keep it up!
 
Will catch up. Setting aside time to update and process today.

Will reply.

Had a good chat w/ Paw. Read the mesages in my chat. Good lawd, I have some confronting things to face.

But I will do it.

Tattoo Girl: Date #3

Remember by post yesterday with the ultimatum? Either she comes to my place and hangs out, or we're done dating.

Well, we meet up, have a nice date by the river, and she actually pulls relatively easily. She says shes cold, I say we'll get my jacket, and shes cool.

We head, I say lets drink some wine, she's cool with it. The tacit assumption is that, we'll head back out, given her VN on Sunday about only meeting me in public and not doing anything physical.

We get in, we chill, go to my room, vibe.

I am physically escalating.....

Make out for ages, cuddle, and I am trying.

Each time, she objects. "I'm not trying to have sex tonight".

She brings this up, 3 times, over the course of physical escalation, kissing, and laying in bed together for about an hour.

I make an effort at asserting boundaries, about her being less guarded, and she pushes back, but I double down, and she is cool with it.

I went into this date, expecting her to hardcore resist the pull. At which point, I was going to hit her with an ultimatum, and could have shifted the dynamic.

Instead, she actually pulled fairly easily, was super physical the whole time, and we ended up laying in bed making out for a while and it felt like it was legit on a couple of times.

Due to her coming to my place, and being pretty physical with me, I just wasn't mad. This is a massive improvement from her VN on Sunday.

She then starts talking about weed, and wants to call a guy to get some.

I remember, me and Paw still have a joint. These, were SUPER weak, and we smoked 4-5 and barely felt anything last weekend. Well, I grab the one that was left, and agree to smoke HALF with the chick, so I was under the impression this would do f**k all.

Actually, this joint was a fuckin' knockout blow. We smoked just half, and she was fucking COOKED. I myself, with a very high tolerance to any drugs or alcohol, felt a little stoned for a short period. I was slightly intoxicated, for perhaps 20m, before it washing away. I don't really bother with any of these substances, I have done so much health and wellness work and cleaned myself out, that they don't even work on me man. Lol.

Now, when I see how stoned she got, it's game over man.

Remember, the risk management approach here was: HALF of a joint I thought would be comedically weak. I didn't expect this to hit so hard.

She was fucking barbecued.

We just lay there and chat. The first question she has, is: "Do you identify as a fuckboy?" - LOL

I say I don't, and change the subject.

I am laying there with her for quite a while, thinking, dude, what the actual fuck. I am really experiencing a lot of fear and I am on red alert.

I do not want her to feel uncomfortable in any way, or for her to feel as if her boundaries are crossed. I am just plain scared.

Also, slightly mad at myself. How did this happen? I had ONE glass of wine. That was it. I persisted and tried to get the W, for fucking hours, and I felt like I could almost make it happen. She kept hitting me with the same objection and then really did clam TF UP and make me feel uncomfortable so I just stopped.

I DID try. At one point. all my clothes were off, and I was just in boxers. She was not OK with that. So, clothes had to come back on.....

At this point, all my attraction for her and interest in her, dried TF up. I am no longer interested in this person. Ashes & dust.

When she was at a safe level to leave, after some pushing from me, she let me walk her home. She wanted to go walk home alone wtf. It's less than a 10m walk but still. She agrees to let me walk her half way. She also takes my jacket as she's cold.

So, we get half way, kiss, and we agree to hang out again. In my mind, I am still on damage limitation and so stressed about this date, and really want to make sure she feels comfortable and I have respected her boundaries. What made me so fearful, was her intoxication. Again, how TF does someone get like that off a few hits of weak ass weed. Shocking. My own fault.

With this date, I suspected she wasn't going to fuck, but I was mostly trying to pull. She actually pulled, and that's a great step. Anything beyond, she was not game for.

As it stands, I just want my jacket back.

I feel different about her now. I have lost interest and attraction. I will get my jacket back on Sat, maybe have a coffee at my local place, see if I can somehow get laid, and if not, man, I am going to give her an ultimatum: I am interested in something physical, as well as emotional, so if you're not looking for that, we can end this here.

I would rather she decline, and move on.

Flags:
-40m into the first date she was SUPER CLEAR, she doesn't want casual anymore, and wants something serious
-She has persistently highlighted how she wants to wait a long time and build trust. A very retarded approach. For myself, as a man, I am now turned off entirely and lost interest. It takes more than this to keep a man interested......
-My own insecurity and neediness: They feel this at some level inside. It's how you lose frame and fall into their games.

Persistently falling into this situation, is not good.

L, was the first one who showed me what happens when you play the long game with a girl. It's going to hurt you. Now, with Tattoo Girl, same pattern playing out. I enjoy walking around with this pretty little thing on my arm, feels good. But, if we're not exploring sex, then just fuck off. I don't accept a shit and boring life. I will become better and stop these situations from happening to me.

You could make the argument, that given she completely cucked me on the first date and was SUPER clear about wanting a serious relationship, I could have been honest and ethical, and just stopped there.

But, so many women say this......And you can still date, explore sex, and enjoy life together. Paw said most chicks he slept with and who became his FWBs said this.

Women have their own mating strategy. They smell the bitch on you, you will get cucked.

As with L, the feeling of a woman rejecting your advances, unbeknownst to them, does not make you respect them more, see them more seriously, value sex with her more, or make it more meaningful. It actually viscerally, palpably, at your core, takes any attraction that was here, and kills it. Dead.

With Tattoo Girl, I just want my jacket back. And then, I will make the necessary adjustments. And think about how this one, went so wrong.

There will be learnings. And, as I am continuing to just get burned, there will be deeper changes I need to address.

Why is it that I end up meeting so many women who just do not want to have sex with me? Who just see me as a source of attention or validation? I am tired of this. Truly. 10+ months of this. 15-20 dates like this.

Whilst I am not psychologically defeated, nor am I feeling negative, I just question why this happens so often to me.

The good news is, unlike L, whom I was in love with, I am absolutely NOT in love with this person. I was feeling her a lot, but then, as she has continued to cuck the ever living hell out of me, I am simply over it and ready to grow and be better.

The road, and the blows your psyche is dealt, does lead to your getting harder inside. Progress is being made.

Even having a pretty girl, laying next to me making out and fooling around all night, is progress.

But, I need to turn this around. And the neediness and insecurity, that leads to me falling into this trap, needs to just die.

___________________________

Life is in a pretty chaotic patch.

Too much to process. I can't take it all in right now.

I will do a few work blocks. 3 x 90m of solid work. 2 x client calls.

And I will approach.

I am going to fast today, and possibly tomorrow, to heal myself more.

On SUNDAY, I will take photos!

There is a future version of me, who has SOLID BOUNDARIES.

We talk about waiting for the 2nd or 3rd date, but look what happens in practice. These girls, both times this happened, actually start stringing you along and are adept at this also. They have game also. Tattoo Girl, asked me if I am a fuckboy, and she said, a lot of what I observe in you, are moves, and these moves, feel really well practised. I know, because I've fallen for these moves many times.....

It's not good that she feels like that, good game shouldn't be felt.

Truthbomb on the situation: I am really over her, I just want my jacket. My own thinking is, invite her for a coffee at my local place, get my jacket, bring her back to mine (2m walk), see if we can get further. If not, just let her know, I am not just looking for companionship, I am also looking for someone to explore intimacy with. So, if you're too guarded to be present and intimate with me, now I have myself been so vulnerable and open with you, we're too different to make this work, and we should not waste each others time......

She may object, and talk about how it takes her a long time to get to know someone, the same shit I've heard a few times now. At which point, I will push back hardcore, and make clear. Look: I respect myself, and my time, and I feel used for attention and validation. You're playing games with me, and you can now get up, leave, and play them elsewhere.

___________________

It has to be used as fuel.

You either allow life to make you bitter and cynical.

Or, you use it as fuel to become something greater than you are.

What drives me:

I think about the injustice and unfairness that is in this world. People are born to abusive parents who fucking destroy them. People are born in crippling poverty and live a precarious life, mired in lack. I have seen this in 1st world countries, Britain. I have seen people get so fucked over, and wind up suicidal. I think about people like David Goggins and what that man endured. There are fucking demons in this world. God did not create all these people. Some people are just fucking evil.

If you become something in this world, esp. from humble beginnings, that is one of the most powerful things you can ever do.

You actually are part of the solution.

You strengthen these people who need it.

They can see your case study, your transformation, and see how through HARD FUCKING WORK, DEDICATION, SACRIFICE, and CONSISTENCY, you found a way to go from a fucked up situation to finding success.

All problems in life can either be solved or managed.

But, it does take warrior spirit.

I'm not hurt by my 10 month patch of scarcity. I am learning lessons from it.

And, most importantly............

I am not in the dungeon of life. You know when I am in the dungeon. I am not there. I got out of it about 2 weeks ago.

When I am not in the dungeon, all this shit just fuels the fire that is inside.

And if you have read this log, you will know that this fire will be burning an awfully, awfully long time...................

Motivated as fuck, rip shit pissed off, and ready to do the work that will enable me to become BETTER.

_____________________________________________________


MAC
 
Re. online dating.

Yes, Pancake took control of the account and was able to get some matches.

I am genuinely confused by this.

My account, obv has some bug or something.

I am not getting much traction across: Tinder, Badoo, Hinge, FB Dating, Feeld.

Some days, I get 1 match.

Over 2 months, I was able to convert 1 of these to a number, whom came out.

She ghosted after 1st date.

What I suspect happened with Pancake's acc:

-Newbie boost: When girls have cleared their stack, your profile appears, and you can get some matches.

It is curious, however, the account is otherwise getting a match or two with just 100 swipes.

Mine requires 500 to get 1, and often, it gets 0.

The present lead from Tinder, as we did expect, is beyond cuck. She sent me an audio about how she thinks I am an interesting person and how she would like to get to know me over time, and eventually, we can meet after getting to know each other for some time.

Erm - FUCK OFF

These fucking retards do not realise I am working hardcore on my biz and on myself and barely have time to text my best friends let alone these fucking jokers

I haven't had time to fucking call my family or respond to people I grew up with, I am GRINDING and my life is nuts, I can barely deal with it

Add women to this, and it will make you laugh out loud.

Invest weeks into chatting to get you, an extremely mediocre, completely unremarkable, human being, who has 0 sex appeal to me and seems like a prude - I just can't believe the sheer audacity

Why I used to like Andy's text game, was he screens so hard, these people just fuck off to their own boring little lives

I speak about online dating on this log so little, because it is a fucking shit source of leads. With day game, atleast you're becoming a better person.

I will reset my account as per Pancake's suggestion, but you're just asking for me to bitch and complain about the fucking joke that is online dating. I have preferred hustling in the streets daily, to the cesspit of online,. Whilst 0 of my 9 lays came from day game (all online), the quality was so bad, I feel a repulsion from these apps now.

It also infuriates me that you are essentially playing their game online, you rock up, she is like, ermmmm.....I'm not really into this dude....and you waste another night.

100+ times that's happened to me. Day game, atleast there is the initial meeting. That beats endless cuck dates man.

With some genuine reservations, I will take action to reset my online dating.

Though I don't want to and am sick of those apps and the shit experiences they bring.

MAC
 
Hey MAC don’t bet yourself up too much over this brah. You’re getting closer!

I don’t know much about anything but reflecting on my own experiences. I feel like it all comes down to not caring/outcome independence. And I know I have a fair bit of the metoo feminist bullshit in my head aswell. Consent is always required but girls know what’s up when they go over to a dudes place. They know the expectation. I wanna act more like the sex is guaranteed. Honestly What Would Holden Do. (Legit Holden WWYD). I reckon he’d tell the girl to take her clothes off. Try x3 if nothing send her on her way and on to the next one.

I feel like this comes with outcome independence and truely not fucking caring.

MakingAComeback said:
Do you identify as a fuckboy?"
Click to expand...
WWHD “yeah why do you think you’re here?”
 
Getting over LMR like that is one of the most frustrating experiences you can have as a man. It's also extremely dependent on your vibe so it's hard to give advice over text.

What stood out to me though is at one point you took of your clothes and she didn't like that "so they came back on."

It's your house. You can be dressed however you like. That's what I would have said (and what I did actually say when I did this in the past.) If she doesn't like it she's free to leave.

The weed was a mistake, even if it would've been a weak joint. Introduces too many new variables. She can fall asleep, become paranoid, lose all reason, etc. Who knows. I dislike weed personally but I sometimes let girls smoke but only if I've dated them for a few months.

----

Adrizzle I always answer the player/fuckboy question with "no I'm a virgin, I'm waiting for marriage."

It's actually a good tip in general to flip the script on girls, like with difficult escalations like this just put the blame on the girl "it's your fault I want to make out all the time, you shouldn't be so attractive" etc.

When you say you're a virgin they'll reply "then why am I here" or something like that, playing along, and you get a golden opportunity to escalate the vibe a bit and say stuff like "yeah you're making it really hard for me to keep my vows"

Ultimately though without knowing in detail how MAC escalated on this date it's hard to give real advice.

What I do know though, is that all possibility for sex went out of the window when he put his clothes back on. Can't imagine a girl ever getting wet for you after that.
 
Yeah, her getting fuckin stoned ruined this.

I was fearful as FUCK after that. I was legit scared inside.

I am not a sex pest or a man who just want to get to get laid a lot. I want to have a proper dating life and not be treated like a scrub. I don't want the lay that much, I want the ability to know, if I want to, I can make it happen.

So, that situation last night, just tipped me over the edge and made me go into risk management mode.

She texted last night, and this morning, so all is well.

I am a very intuitive person, and I know my heart and soul, needs me to be better, and to form myself into a different sort of man.

BOUNDARIES

This needs strengthening. Part of me, is a bit confused right now. She made out with me heavy each time. But she doesn't want to go further than this. I am kinda bored of that now and also turned off her......This could be seen as progress in a way. Last year, I was still quite weak, and I went on 10-15 dates with L, because I enjoyed the validation.

Right now, I don't actually feel like that. This gal, provided she gives me my jacket back, can ghost, and that's fine.

I myself, need to be treated like a man, and I dislike when I am in this odd position.

Also, something kinda weird happened when we were fooling around. She tried to choke me a little, and told me she likes the idea of being dominant.

Um...............WHAT................

This made me fucking laugh out loud.

That ain't happening, lol.

A lot of shit I need to go inside and fix.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
Why is it that I end up meeting so many women who just do not want to have sex with me?
Click to expand...

MakingAComeback said:
Tattoo Girl, asked me if I am a fuckboy, and she said, a lot of what I observe in you, are moves, and these moves, feel really well practised. I know, because I've fallen for these moves many times.....

It's not good that she feels like that, good game shouldn't be felt.
Click to expand...

Game will always be felt. That's why it's called GAME. You're literally playing a pretend game instead of being real

Listen to what she told you, because these girls are picking up on your lack of authenticity, and that you are trying to hide your self while you "game" them, instead of just being honest about how you feel and what you want

Try some vulnerability man, this girl has obviously been hurt and has a lot of pain too

You can even tell her you feel afraid she's just using you for attention and validation
(like she told you she's afraid that you're just trying to use her for sex like the other guys who used "game" on her, instead of being honest about their intentions)

MakingAComeback said:
having a pretty girl, laying next to me making out and fooling around all night, is progress
Click to expand...

It's massive progress!!!

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Enjoy it and give yourself some credit my friend!

I got all butt hurt when Jewish girl cancelled on me four times in a row, mostly for medical emergencies, so I tried to act all outcome independent and dominant, but I would have been way better off just telling her how I felt and continuing to invite her out like I always had, because that girl really, really liked me (she set up her tinder and was finding us girls to sleep with together for Christ's sake), but I let my fear and hurt blind me and make me act inauthentic and falsely macho towards her, which she quickly picked up on and ended things over

I swear to god 99% of "game" isn't actually about getting laid and making a real connection, it's about men who are afraid of women -mainly because we don't understand them- trying to protect our super fragile egos
 
MakingAComeback said:
She tried to choke me a little
Click to expand...

My plate does this to test out if a guy is really dom or just pretending on the outside.

When she tried this on me. I instantly removed her hand. Grabbed both of her wrists tight. And told her she is behaving badly and will recieve punishment in form of my dick.

On the LMR.

Things that worked for me and are easy to execute.

1) If you are fingering a chick bur she still has pants on. Told her to: “Move them a bit” She will usually strip down naked.
(Thanks boytoy)

2) Throw blanket over both of you. It will make it more intimate but also HOT as fuck. After few mins you will both just want to strip down naked naturally
 
Red said:
MakingAComeback said:
She tried to choke me a little
Click to expand...

My plate does this to test out if a guy is really dom or just pretending on the outside.

When she tried this on me. I instantly removed her hand. Grabbed both of her wrists tight. And told her she is behaving badly and will recieve punishment in form of my dick.
Click to expand...

I've had this happen too and I just said "harder please", and then "no, like this" as I placed my hand around her neck and squeezed her tighter than she squeezed me

Most girls that try to choke you probably love to be choked themselves
 
https://youtu.be/OpglWCHblPI

This guy gets women, especially the last two tips about women often saying one thing and meaning something very different

I'll leave it up to you to decide if it applies to your situation
 
september said:
you're offering acting afraid and vulnerable and using the "I'm afraid I'm being used for attention and validation" line
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That isn't what he said. Sharing how you actually feel is not a line.
 
what does even being real and authentic do/mean when your personality for years has been a chronic nice guy who is afraid of women and afraid of telling them what the fuck to do?? i dont understand what this means. what does being real mean? what does hiding behind game mean?

authentic means being true to your personality, we are trying to change so why the fuck would we stay authentic? Ravi's response to the little girl not liking him undressed is to get dressed. Thats an authentic response for Ravi, is it not? How about instead, we take charge and we decide what happens in our fucking room. Who cares what this girl thinks? It's my place. I'll get on the floor, find a huge dildo and put it in my ass if i want to. If she doesnt like it, she can leave. Thats NOT authentic but on the extreme side of DGAF attutide. How about we DONT stay authentic and find the balls to do some crazy shit so our personality traits can change over time and we can learn to be calibrated with the DGAF attitude?? But i get why its difficult when your in a scarcity mindset and also lack the knowledge to be calibrated with assertivness. can easily go overboard so we instead play it safe and we get dressed or fetch the wine for the girl. in the moment we also lack the knowledge as what the correct move to her tests are, so we play safe because we always default back to "safe gives me better odds of keeping her around".

last winter i had girl coming over and she ended bossing me around in my own fucking apartment.
Fuck that shit. she wanted dominant masculine energy instead she found a kid who fetched her wine on command. she insulted me and left shortly after. Never again.

i dont understand this honesty stuff either, to me it seems your just playing a game of choosing when honesty will get you what you want.
either be honest 100% or else your just choosing and picking when you think honesty will benefit you, which makes you not honest by definiton. and guess what, every man and women is a liar. Youve been branded a liar by God and it will stand true because everybody fucking lies.
 
30m coffee date w/ TG ended.

Ultimatum delivered, she kinda led into it quite a lot, it wasn't much of an ultimatum tbh, she didn't give a rats ass.

She talked about how she wants to wait a very long time before having sex, like, a really long time, wants to find someone to fall in love with, and so on.

She was super clear about that. It was obvious we're heading in different directions.

Agreed to leave it there. I wasn't too bothered, but neither was she. There was no change in facial affect, tone, energy, emotion, at all. She gave no fucks at all.

I told her, we can leave it there on a positive note. We agreed we don't need to speak again.

Walked off. Blocked her.

Back to becoming more successful in life.

_______________________

Ravi Thoughts:

Wasn't surprised.

They all ghost. They never put their money where their mouth is.

Same shit, different day......

I need to make a change in my life.

Been in this cycle for years.

May be time to just be open and honest about how I feel:

My life is not going great. Dating, women, etc, has just got steadily worse and has not been moving in any positive direction for 2+ years.

This is a really stupid way to live your life and is not actually helping me grow as a person anymore.

This, is not supporting my life, and this shit is just pointless, and not bringing anything good to me.

It would be better to just focus on business, making money, work on my body, and I think accepting a single life may be the way I go.

Month after month, same shit. Every gal I meet, Same shit. Nothing ever hits, nothing happens. They just don't seem to give a rats ass.

And now, frankly, either do I.

I am not frustrated, mad, or upset.

Having done this for years, and having really tried, I know the level of effort I have put in. Showed up for so long.

For now, I'm done. I may pick back up in the future.

If there was ANY HOPE, after all this time, I'd tell you.

It actually got worse.

I can't turn this one around. No use fighting it. I will instead direct my energy to business, my body, and find another way to live my life.
____________________________

I'm not going to post for quite some time now.

Logging out.

Best of luck bros, work hard, try your best. I hope this shit goes better for you than it did me!

I'll be OK. Will make some money, travel, and just accept my life and make peace with it.

-MAC
 
Olafsmash said:
last winter i had girl coming over and she ended bossing me around in my own fucking apartment.
Fuck that shit. she wanted dominant masculine energy instead she found a kid who fetched her wine on command. she insulted me and left shortly after. Never again.

i dont understand this honesty stuff either, to me it seems your just playing a game of choosing when honesty will get you what you want.
either be honest 100% or else your just choosing and picking when you think honesty will benefit you, which makes you not honest by definiton. and guess what, every man and women is a liar. Youve been branded a liar by God and it will stand true because everybody fucking lies.
Click to expand...

Authenticity/honesty is only half of the prescription

The other half is to take care of your self

An unhealthy person who doesn't take care of themselves will be unattractive when they are authentic

Thankfully though, even when we are unhealthy or mentally ill, our self is not permanently broken, but something that can be healed (and probably even enlightened)

Basically, I believe insecure people have been burdened with a treatable mental illness

But we are not permanently broken

Maybe men like Holden, pancakemouse, september, AskTheDom view game as the treatment for this injury

If so, we are on the same page

I just feel like the treatment for attachment issues in adults, which are laid out in the book and outlined in the videos I linked below, to be a more efficient, effective and permanent approach to healing this illness of insecurity
(that most of us seem to share)

Listen to Attachment Disturbances in Adults by Daniel P. Brown, David S. Elliott on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/1666126845?source_code=ASSOR150021921000R

https://youtu.be/pnoa0gJ4BIc
https://youtu.be/dvwBJEdpT3k


And just so we're clear, I feel a lot of empathy and respect for you guys, because I know we are all struggling to heal and care for ourselves, and help others do the same, in the best way we know how
 
Bros,

My life is just too mental right now.

It got, absurdly chaotic.

Give you an example:

Tattoo Girl, Sat, we did a date, we chatted, and then, she made it clear she wants to wait a LONG time before sex (years). We ended it there. She have zero fucks. No change in emotion or affect. I dipped. We ran into each other 2hrs later, she walked up and chatted to me. She was nice. Neither of us cared.

I then approached a few girls. One exchanged, and agreed to see me that night. She then agreed to see me Monday night (today).

She ghosted Sunday onwards.

So, she didn't confirm today.

I got up, did some work. Hustled. Hung out with The Dom, worked on my laptop.

I then went for a 30m break. During this, I saw a pretty girl.

Approached her, chatted. We vibe. She's free, so we grab a coffee.

Insta Date.

Bounce to another location, vibe more. Bounce elsewhere, keep connecting. She's holding my hand and walking around with me, I'm very physical, touching her arms, hands, legs.

We're having fun.

Head to the bridge. Then, try to escalate a bit more. Touch her ass. She stops, looks at me, and says "thats a bit bold". I say, "well, you do have a nice ass". Shes a dance teacher so has great ass/legs.

I pitch we go to mine, listen to music, and she show me some dance.

She heads to mine.

She is quite a pleasant chick to chill with, she has some funny mannerisms.

I am physical with her and sinking into the energy.

Pull to my room.

Slowly escalating, taking it slow, and really feeling it out.

There doesnt feel like a sexual vibe, but we hug, get more touchy, more intimate.

She is ok with me kissing her neck.

She lets me touch her ass a bit more. Not that much.

We hug a bit.

I end up throwing her on my bed.

Immediately, she says, "I won't be getting intimate with you".

I just ignore and slowly escalate, pull off and go totally cold, then escalate.

Go for the kiss, she denies. I pull off a bit, escalate again, go for kiss again, she still denies.

I then flop back and kinda go cold.

She then really tries to get my attention again, which I give her.

But.....despite pushing for a third time, I get nowhere.

I call her out, and ask her to show some trust. She gives me some bs. I push back.

I then just call her TF out.

There is total rage in her eyes.

I have been on 20+ dates now with no sex, and I know this is another one, so I give no fucks. She looks into my eyes with total anger, and all she is met with, is power that is so much stronger than hers ever will be. She cannot move me even an inch. The fire in her eyes, is put out, within a few seconds.

She then, seems to like me more. We're laying on bed together, and she's just feeling my body and stuff. And I'm feeling hers.

She won't escalate, at ALL.

And I then give her an ultimatum. She tells me, she will leave.

I agree. Get up, tell her to go.

She says she wants to stay in touch with me, which I tell her won't be happening. She says, ok, but I want to leave my details for you, so they are there if you ever want them.

She finds a sheet of paper on my desk, and writes her IG, and also writes, "Trust is a two way street".

All of this, was a fun vibe, there was no bad energy, on the way out, we have each other a long, deep hug, and she left with a smile on her face.

She liked me a lot better when I started to push back against her bullshit. Interesting.

The gal, was a complicated one. She had self harm scars, all the way up both arms, and both legs. Really deep scars, from tonnes of cutting. She's had laser treatment on them, tatood over them, but they remain.....

I loved this experience and felt the progress I made. Sat, I got cucked by Tattoo Girl. I got another number, which agreed to date Mon, and ghosted. When this other girl ghosted, I went into the streets, and from approach, to having this girl on my bed with me, was about 3hrs.

Great.

I then jump in the ice bath for 10m.

And then, my friends arrive. And we head out for dinner.

I get back at 10pm ish.

And no fucking work was done.
____________________________

My life has become chaos.

And it is destroying my progress.

I am going monk mode.

I will work biz 10-12hr a day. Train very very hard on my body. And Ill day game for 1hr daily, and work on the apps.

But nothing else is taking place.

Nada.

All fat being trimmed.

I am taking a break from my moderation duties on the forum, and am locking my thread.

I must WORK ON MY MISSION IN THIS WORLD.

Which is to prove my damn point: that it is possible to go from nothing to something.

So, time for me to WORK, and I mean, truly WORK.

I will be back in a month or so, bros, and I will be a better and more successful man.

KEEP HAMMERING

MAC DADDY
 
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