The Slight Edge for overcoming "nice guy" behaviors

Your goals sounded totally reasonable to me Kory, and I share most of them. It felt like I wrote a lot of your post myself. Have you taken any steps towards these?
 
sundleboro I decided to reprioritize my goals and focus on the ones that will have the biggest positive impact on my life. Being able to do the things in my original post are not nearly as impactful overall as some other things I could be doing.

Additionally, I discovered that you'll often end up getting good practice at "overcoming fear of what other people think" just by pursuing your main goals. For example, right now I’m focused on landing a software engineering job in California, and that has required a lot of overcoming fear of what interviewers may be thinking about me. You can often kill two birds with one stone by just focusing on your most impactful, specific goals.

In general, I would not focus on trying to eradicate "nice guy" behaviors just for the sake of it (i.e., don't treat that as a goal in and of itself), but rather eradicate them to whatever degree necessary to achieve your current most-important goal.
 
arcade_fireee said:
I just stumbled upon this GLL article where he says the exact same conclusion I came to in my previous post. Don't focus on "trying not to give a fuck what others think" -- just focus on doing the things that fear of others' opinions was preventing you from doing. Take out that middle man.

https://www.goodlookingloser.com/en...a-different-perspective-to-not-caring-anymore
#2a
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I related to a lot of what you said in the original post tbh, I always think I'm boring as fuck and nobody wants to hang with me but I've come to realise I censor myself so much for a variety of reasons. Definitely something I'm gonna put time into working on.

I'm the kind of guy where if my boss asks me to work an extra day I'll say yes before even giving it a thought of whether I want to do it and I hate it.

And you're completely right imo, it's about being more selfish and doing/saying what you want (within reason) instead of your first thought being how will this be received by others.

Definitely similar to approaching girls where it's better to take the risk of approaching girls and getting rejected than it is to do nothing. And it's better to speak more freely at the slight risk of offending someone than it is to overly censor yourself and become some boring as fuck middleman who can't stand up for himself.
 
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