Currently in coaching, but I'm gonna mirror some of my posts here: Some might be out of order, but I'll put a date by them:
SUNDAY, MAY 25th 2025;
I went out for a walk and I saw a girl at a fork in the road. One direction led straight back to my house, the other direction led to the girl. I said fuck it and walked up to her. She was wearing headphones and took them off, I said "Hi, I just came to holla at you"
She said "oh, haha".
I asked her what she was up to:
"Just taking a walk" she said.
"me too", I said.
then I said, "I just came up to see if you wanted to go out sometime"
She said, "Oh, I have a boyfriend"
I said "no problem, have a great one" and jogged off.
The whole interaction, she was looking down at her phone and not really engaging.
As I continued my walk around the neighborhood, I could feel my mind trying to reframe that whole interaction as negative.
So had to literally BEAT back those thoughts with positive reinforcement, telling my self 5 things that were great about the interaction.
-Like the fact I had the balls to approach.
-the fact that months ago, I'd have been too scared to approach in my own town, much less my own neighborhood,
-and more.
5 good things turned into 10, then 20.
I left the interaction feeling pretty good afterward.
FRIDAY MAY 23rd 2025:
TALKED TO GIRL IN THE GROCERY STORE then
A "FISHY" NIGHT with my FWB
Couple days ago I went up to a girl in a grocery store.
She was picking out a card for a special occasion.
I said, "what's the occasion?"
She said "Oh it's a card...for my boyfriend's birthday"
Without skipping a beat, I smiled and said "Ok, gotcha! It's good that you mentioned your boyfriend, because I was most definitely hitting on you."
She smiled and said "I'm not even saying that just to say it. It really is his birthday!"
I brushed her shoulder with my hand and said, "I know, you're a good girlfriend for saying that right off the bat though. " then I made reference to an internet meme of girls warding off guys by saying they have boyfriends with no provocation. We both laughed and bid each other good day.
NIGHT WITH FWB
The next day (Friday) I had a date with my fwb. I still get a little nervous before these things, don't know why.
She brought food and we ate at my place. We watched some Black Mirror and started to get into the mood.
But her breath was kicking a little bit and I asked her to take some mouthwash which I brought from my bathroom. We both usually brush and use mouthwash before getting into it, so she didn't mind too much.
With the first awkward hurdle cleared, we moved on.
Little bit of doggystyle, little bit of fingering, but I noticed a pungent smell coming from her nether regions.
In the past, she's told me to tell her right away if she ever had that type of situation, because it meant her ph balance was off.
So after a little bit longer of trying, and me not getting hard, she asked me, "what's wrong?"
I said, "well, Im having a little trouble getting into it. I think your ph balance is off tonight."
"What do you mean?"
I explained the smell.
Her mood plummeted.
She rushed to the bathroom. I tried to stop her and tell her not to feel bad, but she wrested her arm away, then grabbed my hand affectionately to let me know she wasn't mad or anything.
Then I waited.
5 minutes go by.
10 mins.
Then about 15 mins later she returns.
"Well after crying my eyes out, I am thoroughly embarrassed."
I think she was joking about the crying, but I couldn't tell in the darkness.
I thought was a perfect moment to be honest with her.
I told her not feel embarrassed and searched my mind for an equivalent story to tell her.
Our first time came to mind, and I told her how I felt embarrassed when I could maintain my erection the first time we slept together.
I said "When that kind of thing happens you feel like less of a man, and you can't do anything to control it."
She was really paying attention, because I was being vulnerable.
"I was scared because I felt like that would be the last time we'd meet because I couldn't perform."
The rest of the night we spent just talking and relating to one another, which was honestly more relaxing than trying to start up again.
I talked about how I always felt like I had to be tougher and meaner than I am.
I asked her about her ex and she told me about how he'd only gone down on her 3 times in their 4 yr relationship and didn't know how to finger her.
How eventually, when her emotions closed off to him, the sex was painful and uncomfortable to her.
I told her I looked up on reddit how rare it was for a girl to cum with her partner and she agreed that it is super rare, and she'd only done it a handful of times in her past relationship.
(tbh, I was also collecting data)
She still felt embarrassed, but much less so by the end of it. I told her I appreciated that she allowed me to be honest by telling her when her pH was off because that allowed us to be more honest and have an open conversation. I didn't have to tough it out as I'd done in the past.
She probably still felt bad. She was chewing gum in her sleep. We didn't try again in the morning, but we did make out in bed. Then we bid each other a tender goodbye next to her car with some light kissing and such. We're going to a food festival next week so I think we'll be back to normal by then.
I'm thankful to this group for changing my mind on women, so I could actually be there for her and hold space for her emotions instead of running or hiding.
I also had a meeting to become a story editor for a comic magazine which was more than happy to take me in and eventually compensate me for the my services. All I did was reach out!
Let's see what else I can make happen this week.
I'm still fighting back the fear that I could have impregnated the fwb.
I'm waiting for her to tell me she's got her period!