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Chronicles of Ascent: Path Towards Greatness

JourneyToOptimal said:
Saturday 5th October:

(1) Work:
- No work on weekends

(2) Inner work:
- 30min of meditation [Miss]
- 1-2h of deep inner work with Ravi [Miss]
- Journaling about my childhood trauma [Miss]

(3) Dating:
- Buy new clothes and figure out my style [Crushed]
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Miss]
- Hinge Swiping [Miss]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Good]
- Good Hydration [Fine]
- Pick up Medication [Good]

(5) Others
- Chores: Laundry, groceries [Done]
Click to expand...

Ended up spending the day on my fashion. It was a huge improvement that will help with the photoshoot we're having tomorrow. A lot of misses because I ended working on something else than expected but it was a great day nonetheless
 
Sunday 6th October:

(1) Work:
- No work on weekends

(2) Inner work:
- 1-2h of deep inner work and date coaching with Ravi
- Journaling about my childhood trauma

(3) Dating:
- Take photoshoot 6-8hours
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Date at 7pm

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration

(5) Others
- Chores: Laundry, groceries [Done]
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Sunday 6th October:

(1) Work:
- No work on weekends

(2) Inner work:
- 1-2h of deep inner work and date coaching with Ravi [Skipped]
- Journaling about my childhood trauma [Skipped]

(3) Dating:
- Take photoshoot 6-8hours [Done]
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Skipped]
- Date at 7pm [Done]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration [Done]
Click to expand...

Yesterday was a great day, a lot of productive time. We wake up at 6am, got breakfast and went to the photoshoot. Everything went smooth and we took some amazing pictures, got to socialize with the guys from the brotherhood chat. They're all amazing and I feel closer to them now. The photos should be out today at some point and I will share some results with you guys.

After we were back, I rested up for an hour and headed to my date. It went well but not I still couldn't pull. The vibe was good but I couldn't escalate and I was too anxious to pitch. I think that under normal circumstances (not being exhausted), it would have went better. Thankfully, I have the whole date recorded so I will be reviewing it with @MakingAComeback.
The positive is that even after such an exhausting day, I was able to get on the date and vibe. I felt more at ease than the last date I've been on so my inner game improved but I am still not there. Rejections still hurts after being on a date but I need to build a tough skin around it. Won't get a second date so on to the next now.

Woke up today completely exhausted, I think I am basically at burnout right now. The past week has been insanely intense so I am taking a small step back today to recover.
 
Monday 7th October

(1) Work:
- Light work today, going to test my feature works and prepare the rollout

Already told my manager that I will be taking it slow today but tomorrow will be more productive. He's supportive and offered me to take some PTO as well. Might consider it

(2) Inner work:
- 1-2h of deep inner work and date coaching with Ravi:
Further process childhood trauma
Explore my uncomfortableness in groups
Process my shame around pulling
- Journaling about my childhood trauma

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Optinal swipping

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration [Done]
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Monday 7th October

(1) Work:
- Light work today, going to test my feature works and prepare the rollout [Done]

Already told my manager that I will be taking it slow today but tomorrow will be more productive. He's supportive and offered me to take some PTO as well. Might consider it

(2) Inner work:
- 1-2h of deep inner work and date coaching with Ravi [30min only]
Further process childhood trauma [Done]
Explore my uncomfortableness in groups [skipped]
Process my shame around pulling [skipped]
- Journaling about my childhood trauma [skipped]

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Done]
- Optinal swipping [skipped]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration [Done]
Click to expand...

Yesterday was a good day. Was a bit tired because of all the effort I put in on Sunday but today I feel more on track.
Because Dante and Ravi were working late, Ravi and I couldn't do much inner work so I hope to do some more today
 
Tuesday 8th October

(1) Work:
- Continue with the rollout
- Finish the code refactor for the armor
- Work on config generation

(2) Inner work:
- 1-2h of deep inner work and date coaching with Ravi
Explore my uncomfortableness in groups
Process my shame around pulling

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Optinal swipping

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Tuesday 8th October

(1) Work:
- Continue with the rollout [Done]
- Finish the code refactor for the armor [Done]
- Work on config generation [Skipped]

(2) Inner work:
- 1-2h of deep inner work and date coaching with Ravi [Done]
Explore my uncomfortableness in groups [Skipped]
Process my shame around pulling [Skipped]

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Skipped]
- Optinal swipping [Done]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Fail]
- Good Hydration [Done]
Click to expand...

Work was fine yesterday, I am still mildly burnt out and need another day to recover. Not much work was done but to be fair there wasn't much work to begin with

Ravi and I were exhausted so we didn't dive deep in our inner work session but Ravi shared all his journey with me. It was interesting for me to hear everything he has gone through, sometimes it doesn't feel like we have 8-9 years age different. I hope some of his trauma was processed by sharing his story

for a few days my stomach has been slightly acting up and affecting my sleep. I think it's because of the ice cream I recently bought. It's weird because the ingredient list didn't look particularly harmful to me but that's the join of ibs, you can't know what will flare you up before you try it
 
Wednesday 9th October

(1) Work:
- Work on config generation [Done]
- Continue with rollout [Done]
- Add fail safe to code [In Progress]

(2) Inner work:
- 1-2h of deep inner work and date coaching with Ravi [Done]
Explore my uncomfortableness in groups [Skipped]
Process my shame around pulling [Skipped]

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Done]
- Optional swipping [Skipped]
- Get the photoshoot photos [Done]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration [Done]

I wrote this todo list yesterday but forgot to post it so here it is with the completion targets.

Work was really good yesterday, got a lot of things done. After being burnt out for a few days, I am happy to see myself bouncing back

I went to hangout with my friends and got all my photoshoot pictures from them. They look sick (at least for me). I was also able to get tons of good feedback on photo selection. Some of which I recorded for Ravi. I should do photo selection soon and that will boost my dating profile.

Another problem I am dealing with is that hinge has been slower, I think it's because of the limit of 8 people when you get likes. That limits like volume but makes it so they are more likely to answer I guess, thinking about switching to something else. Looking into some alternatives, I need to ramp up my date volume

Inner work was good, I shared my entire journey with Ravi and I was able to get a different perspective on some things. I realized that me being an anxious person genetically is a limiting belief. anxiety is a behavior and fixing that behavior will make me more and more grounded
 
(1) Work:
- Finish my code fail safe
- Make my service more connected with config changes
- Look into next project

4x90min blocks

(2) Inner work:
- No time for inner game to day
- Meditation 30min

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Swipping on hinge
- Get the photoshoot picture selection
- Explore other apps

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration
- Sleep at an earlier time

(5) Other
- Move my end of day report and next day plan to tonight
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
(1) Work:
- Finish my code fail safe [Done]
- Make my service more connected with config changes [Skipped]
- Look into next project [Done]

4x90min blocks

(2) Inner work:
- No time for inner game today
- Meditation 30min [Done]

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Done]
- Swipping on hinge [Dpne]
- Get the photoshoot picture selection [Skipped]
- Explore other apps [Skipped]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration [Done]
- Sleep at an earlier time [Will do]

(5) Other
- Move my end of day report and next day plan to tonight [Done]
Click to expand...
Today was a good day even though I was a bit tired. I went to bed late yesterday working on inner-game, something I shouldn't have done. Today I will be going to sleep early

Work was okay, I was derailed from my todo list because my last project broke. My coworker made a mistake estimating the number of elements my project will be dealing with. This caused it to break down so I need to put more work into fixing it tomorrow. Shit happens
On a brighter note, my next project is looking easier than expected because we got extra support for it.

Dating wise, I put extra effort on messaging and swipping today. I need more dates to get closer to my goals. I have made good progress on my inner game thanks to @MakingAComeback and I am at a stage where I need more experience to progress.
Because of my mindset shifts, I was able to carry myself differently on my last date. I was grounded and Ravi actually described me as confident. It's crazy how resolving some of my internal conflicts completely changed my vibe.
My problem now is that I am not escalating and I need to work on that. I think part of it is a fear of rejection and/or being seen as weird. I need to take more risks next time
 
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Friday 11th October

(1) Work:
- Fix my last project
- Make my service more connected with config changes
- Make sure the rollout is on trakc

4x90min blocks

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Swipping on hinge
- Explore other apps

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration

(5) Other
- Social event with Ravi
- Figure out my brokerage tax situation
- Figure out my visa application status
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Friday 11th October

(1) Work:
- Fix my last project [Done]
- Make my service more connected with config changes [Skipped]
- Make sure the rollout is on trakc [Done]

4x90min blocks

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min [Done]

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Done]
- Swipping on hinge [Done]
- Explore other apps [Skipped]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration [Done]

(5) Other
- Social event with Ravi [Done]
- Figure out my brokerage tax situation [Done]
- Figure out my visa application status [Done]
Click to expand...
I am posting a day late because I've been so busy and low energy to post. Friday was a good day even though I was very low energy. I am not sure why this week has been like this for me, It must be because of how much I pushed myself last week. Thankfully, this weekend is going to be chill and I am taking off on Monday to enjoy my time with @MakingAComeback before he leaves NYC

I went to the social event with Ravi and saw tons of my friends from the brotherhood chat. It feels amazing being around these guys. I feel like I have built a solid friend group now since Ravi came visiting. Got to enjoy myself for a bit.

Saturday didn't start very well, I was feeling very tired in the morning. I was able to push through it, go do groceries, eat and take a nap. The important part of my day was a coaching session with Dante and I got a lot of feedback for Day game. Now I can get into set but I can't get a good conversation going with them, I am too passive, don't push hard enough and am okay with bad outcomes. This needs to change
I am also not comfortable with my sexuality yet and don't know how to escalate. I am too afraid to take risks and that makes me plateau.

So I am doing the following changes:
- Ravi is going to help me write 10 lines that are vibey, 10 that are polarizing and 10 that are sexualizing. These I will have to use in-field and internalize them.
I have a major mental block concerning these categories so this won't be easy but overtime I will learn to become that person
- I need to go back into day game. I haven't been doing it recently because I have been focusing on inner game but now I need to go out 2-3 days a week again
- Keep the dates going, 1-2 a week
- I will add a section in my journal starting tomorrow about what did I do to be a man today
- I need to read more material about female psychology, I am still too naive

After the coaching session, I was able to spend some time with Kai and the others. They are sick people. They are all ahead of my journey at this point in time but I will catch up eventually

That's it for now, signing off
 
Sunday 13th October

(1) Work
- Book my work trip to California

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min
- Shrooms trip with Ravi

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Swipping on hinge

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration
- Go to the gym

(5) Other
- Figure out money transfer situation
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Sunday 13th October

(1) Work
- Book my work trip to California [Done]

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min [Done]
- Shrooms trip with Ravi [Done]

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Done]
- Swipping on hinge [Done]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration [Done]
- Go to the gym [Skipped]

(5) Other
- Figure out money transfer situation [Done]
Click to expand...

The past few days have been busy and I haven't been as consistent with the forum as I wanted to be. Circumstances are changing and I should have more time for myself from now on.

Dating-wise I've been consistently swipping and texting every morning. I have gotten 5 numbers that were all terrible over the past 2weeks. Some where busy, some out of town and one didn't answer me. I am in an unlucky patch right now but I am confident that things will get better very soon.
I have also changed some pictures on my profile after getting some feedback and finishing the photo selection. Will keep you guys updated with any improvements to my app results.

On another note, @MakingAComeback is leaving New York and won't be back for a few months. I am going to miss this guy. Over the past month, we have made tremendous progress in our goals. We improved our inner game and discipline, revamped my style and took new model level pictures. We planned our next chapter, Ravi is going monk mode and focusing on business while I will get tons more dating exposure and get better.
I can't wait to have back king and I hope one day, you will move to New York semi-permanently

On another note now that I have my room for myself again, I will focus on nailing down my routine with better sleep habits and more discipline. I also need to take a day or two to recharge, we've been grinding super hard for the past month and a half and my brain is running on fumes

EDIT:
Can't believe I almost forgot but I might become @Squilliam's roommate next year. After the whole drama with my roommate concerning Ravi, I realized that I needed to live with people more aligned with my goals. Squilliam is onboard, we just need to go apartment hunting in January
 
Last edited:
Wednesday 16th October

(1) Work
- Figure out my trip to Canada
- Land fixes to tupperware container
- Create the excel sheet for tracking
- Deploy the bind module

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min
- Schedule my monthly Inner game session with Ravi

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Swipping on hinge
- Create a list of 10 lines for vibing, sexualizing and polerizing
- Schedule my coaching call with Ravi

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration
- Go to the gym
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Wednesday 16th October

(1) Work
- Figure out my trip to Canada [Done]
- Land fixes to tupperware container [Done]
- Create the excel sheet for tracking [Done]
- Deploy the bind module [Delayed]

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min [Done]
- Schedule my monthly Inner game session with Ravi [Done for Sunday]

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Done]
- Swipping on hinge [Done]
- Create a list of 10 lines for vibing, sexualizing and polerizing [Done] Created document but need to brainstorm
- Schedule my coaching call with Ravi [Done for Sunday]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration [Done]
- Go to the gym [Skipped]
Click to expand...

I haven't been posting as much as I want to. I find it hard to come back from a long day of work and post after. Not sure what to do about that, I hope I will just grow into it. Writing takes a good bit of effort at the moment.

To everyone who reads my blogs, I have been doing the work. I took one day off on Wednesday, rested, and been on the grind ever since.

TLDR:
- More matches on dating apps, date on Monday
- Did DG today some sticking points, one Instagram
- Inner game progress with my therapist
- Decided to taper off my antidepressant in December
- Slow progress but reading 48 laws of power

Dating:

I have been having more success on dating apps, I am in a good habit of messaging and swiping every morning. Because I put new pictures in and dedicated more time, my number of matches has grown a lot and I found myself having to message 16 different women this morning. This took me 30 minutes and made me late for work. I need to wake up earlier to get it out of the way but good progress in that area
I have a date on Monday with a girl from Hinge, she seemed super compliant over text and we live in the same area so it was easy to get her out

I went DG with Dennis today, I was focusing on doing strong approaches and keeping girls in set as long as possible. My hesitation with approaching has gone down tremendously so I can go in and get in set often.
The problem now is my vibe isn't right and I am not strong enough. A lot of sets today blew me out with a smile and this is bullshit, I don't feel like these girls respect me at all and some anger is starting to build up about that.
I wonder what I am missing to get them to stop more often, better callouts? more masculinity? Be more dominant? Not sure yet but I will figure it out. I am happy I did the work tho. Total sets 6
I got one Instagram from it. Haven't gotten a number in a long time since I am not gaming as often anymore. Messaged her but I doubt she will reply

Inner game:

I saw my therapist today, I wanted to stop my sessions with him initially but today's session was really good so might continue for a bit more.
We went over some of the anxieties I have at the moment: I feel like since Ravi left I have been slightly more anxious. This is because growing up my safe space was around close friends and without them, I feel vulnerable.
I told my therapist "With Ravi around, I was in control" and he answered by saying "It sounds like you are in control without him too". This may sound stupid but that made everything click inside my head.
Growing up I was looking for safety around friends but I did well without that safety too.
Going without my close friends around didn't kill me but made me grow more. My friends will always be there for me but I don't need them around me all the time. Realizing and internalizing this was a big success and some of that anxiety went away.

I've been meditating before going out for day game, it helps me remove all anxieties from work and reset my state of mind. I found it to be especially helpful with being more mindful of my state of mind and finding inner game sticking points better.

I also decided that when day game season is over (December), I will taper off my medication. Mirtazapine has run its course, It has made me less anxious, sleep better and numbed my ibs. But it has come with many disadvantages, waking up in the morning is challenging because of how sedating it is and it has numbed my emotions. At a time when understanding my emotions is key, this is not helpful.
I am waiting for day game season to be over so I can prevent the withdrawal from affecting my progress. Also in December I should be on vacation for a good amount of time which will help me deal with the inevitable insomnia

Other:

I've been slowly absorbing the content of the book that was recommended for me: 48 laws of power
So far it has been good, the progress is slow because it takes me some time to absorb the material. This is not an area I am super knowledgeable in.
 
Saturday 18th October

(1) Work
- Off work on weekends

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Swipping on hinge
- DG with Dennis

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water
- Go to the gym in the evening
- Try new supplement I bought

(5) Other:
- Finish all my chores for the week
- Read more 48 laws of power
 
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