JourneyToOptimal
Member
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2024
Today was a mediocre day. My nap and energy supplements that I took along with the high emotions from the date yesterday made me have terrible sleep. This is the second day in a row and I spent the day in autopilot. Not goodTuesday 22nd October:
(1) Work
- Work on releasing armors [Fail]
- Start migration of an armor [Fail]
- Follow back on entitlement rollout [Done]
(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min [Done]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"
(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Fail]
- Swiping on hinge [Fail]
- Schedule 2nd date [Done]
- Schedule 1st date with another chick from hinge [Done]
(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Done]
- Wake up early and get light exposure [Done]
- Go to the gym [Done]
(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power [Done]
Dating:
- Scheduling the second date with the girl from yesterday was a pain in the ass. Our schedule didn't match up and I was anxious about the whole thing. I have had dozens of first dates but only 5ish second dates so they are nerve-racking to me. The closer I am to a lay, the more my mind tries to overreact to everything. It doesn't help that the girl I am messaging is anxious and takes hours to answer my texts.
I thought she was showing signs of disinterest but now I realized that she was just anxious to ask me to reschedule. She said she would try to make her schedule work for tomorrow. She seems very invested which makes me calm down a bit
- I have a first date scheduled for Thursday. Getting as much dating exposure as I can
- I was doing my daily hinge texting/swiping when I realized I don't have time for a third date this week. My weekends are going to be spent on day game. Even if I got numbers, it might be too early to schedule dates for next week. Will wait another day before more leads messaging leads
health:
- In order to get sun exposure in the morning, I decided to try having breakfast at my workplace's terrace. It worked but there were too many bees and wasps coming for my food. I don't think I will do it again
- After taking a nap in the late afternoon, I dragged myself to the gym
Inner game:
I tried to do some inner game on my second date anxiety. I had a few breakthroughs which decreased my worries but ultimately I need more exposure to get rid of them. There's no way around it.
I was also in a terrible mood today but I am happy to say that my self-talk, even on my bad days, is not that bad. My mind knows that I will make it so negative thoughts are transient.
In this journey, to change my core and inner being I have to push myself to the emotional breaking point over and over. The first day I did day game, my whole body was shaking from anxiety. I would come back home emotionally destroyed and just lay in bed like a zombie. I did that for four months before things got better and I fixed my inner game. I will need to keep pushing like this for months or even years.
The fucked up part about all this is that I am part of the lucky few that have the resources, support, knowledge, and time to even do this. This suffering is ultimately a form of privilege.
I find myself complaining a lot about the amount of effort I have to put in but in reality, I should feel grateful that I even have that option. It's hard to accept that, how can I be in a privileged position if I am struggling so much?
What did I do to be a man today?
I pushed through fatigue and got my ass to the gym. Scheduled a few dates too