Chronicles of Ascent: Path Towards Greatness

[JourneyToOptimal]

I think that science has started catching up. While it may still be in its infancy, the science of personalized medicine based on genetic data is starting to show results. This is what I want to work on in the future and what I hope to contribute to this community and to the overall sphere of self-improvement. I am not super knowledgeable right now, but I can share some good articles, and we could discuss them in DMs if you’re interested.

Thank you for the reply, that's a great goal to have, I hope you succeed in that industry. I recently did a genetic test to enhance my health and while it was very useful it fell short of what I hoped for. They would target specific genes and tell you how good your body is in certain areas. how do you deal with inflammation? detox? Can you build muscle?
They offered clues into what was wrong with my health but couldn't tell me exactly. They recommend habits/supplements to help with categories you are deficient in but it stops here.

in the future, I hope they can be more specific and offer more solutions to weak points in our physiology.


I also 100% agree on the health part. Growing up I would get in bad moods for no reason, and be prone to stress and insomnia. Health affects inner game a LOT

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Log update:

The last few days have been bad for me. I am currently tapering off my antidepressant and for the past 2-3 days I've been living like a zombie. I would be too tired to do much of anything because of how sedated and numb I felt.
I am on mirtazapine, the lower the dose you take the more tired and sedated you become. Tapering off involves decreasing my dose which has progressively made me worse.
Thankfully I didn't experience any withdrawal effects so decided to completely stop the medication since I was at a low dose for some time. If I can pass the coming week without any crazy side effects, I will be done with this drug but if not, I have to get back on it for a bit longer.

I am taking it easy since I don't have much energy to spare outside of work. I also noticed that my anxiety and impulsivity have increased. I don't want my emotions to control me so I am trying to meditate and be more aware of things while this calms down.

I was able to do some good inner game work yesterday, I was able to reflect and see a lot of dysfunction I had over the past years. It's crazy how oblivious to it I was.
I saw the pattern I had in my relationships and why they doomed them from the start.
I saw my insecurities and how they stemmed from my childhood.
I saw my friends' insecurities and how they shaped negative events that happened in my/their life

The more self-awareness I see, the more dysfunction I see in people around me and my past. I want my negative patterns to not happen again but the more of them I discover the more discouraged I become.
I'm reading "The Law of Human Nature" by Robert Greene and he wrote that we largely can't change our negative patterns from childhood. The best we can do is understand them and build new behaviors to counteract them when they arise. I don't like this narrative, It feels like I am managing a lifetime illness that I will carry with me one way or another.

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

My withdrawal symptoms are getting worse, insomnia, lack of appetite, anxiety, and emotional instability. The worst part is that I don't believe the drug is out of my system yet. It takes 5 days from my last dose to be in complete withdrawal. I expect things to get worse and if so need to get on my antidepressant and taper off more slowly.

Yesterday night, I had trouble staying asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night with my head spinning. I haven't had negative self-talk this bad in a year or more. My mind attacked me, telling me that I wasted my time and money this year and that I should drop off my coaching programs and give up already. I was able to challenge that self-talk, and after showing some strength, it disappeared.
Yes, I haven't made the progress I wanted this year I am still a beginner-beginner and didn't get a single lay but I was able to build some inner strength, masculinity, and better health.
After getting suppressed by my antidepressant, my negative self-talk is back in full force so I need to keep my guard up and not make any rash decisions.

Antidepressants are evil man, I can somewhat deal with the negative emotions but I can't control my insomnia. If it gets worse, I will need to get back on a low dose of mirtazapine for a bit. I won't be able to make it on less than 6 hours of sleep a night, especially for the 3-week withdrawal length.

I am being patient with myself because I can barely get my work dose at the moment. Approaching and dating is not an option right now.