Sunday 10th November:
(1) Work
- Pack my luggage [Done]
- No work
(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 15min [Done]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"
- Expand on my inner game problems [Done]
(3) Dating:
- Ask if I can shadow Jason so I can see Kai [Ended up meeting them for dinner]
- Try to get the audio of the CMU coaching call. I want to take notes on objection handling [Still trying]
(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Fail]
- Wake up early and get light exposure [Done]
(5) Other:
- Download the next book: Laws of human nature [Done]
- Write learnings from 48 laws of power [Fail]
Yesterday wasn't a good day, my stomach got upset on Friday and I had diarrhea ever since. It zapped all my energy and I spent most of the day recovering.
Dating:
I refiected a lot on what happened on the date, on my handling of the shit test with your feedback and on my inner game problem. I will mostly speak of the latter.
Thinking back on this night, I got frustrated that I just shut down like that. Couldn't escalate or show intent. I have found my ultimate sticking point, the one that caused most of the other ones I dealt with: the feeling of being unworthy of sex and a fear of taking any more risks.
I found myself being less and less empathetic towards myself on this, which is not good. Like what the fuck dude. how many times are you going to cuck yourself like that, she was down too. It's getting embarrassing at this point.
The emotional reaction I got was incredibly strong, smoking up made it stronger.
I took the time to dive into that problem yesterday, I was able to deal with some of it through self-reflection and released a lot of emotions. I plan on journaling about it today while on my flight and I have a therapy session on Thursday.
Who knows how long it will take me to get over this, I am just thankful that dating apps are working for me which gets me 1 date a week. I have cucked 7 dates so far, if I had to get these dates from day game (Like a lot of people in NYC do) it would have taken me months if not years to get this far.
As the year goes on, I can see my quality from apps going down. I am considering paying for HingeX. They claim that it will 3X my dates but I am not sure if this is true. I want to take the risk but my current Hinge+ membership ends on the 6th of December and I am leaving to Canada on the 15th. It might have to wait for next year.
Health-wise:
- I am considering not eating protein at work but instead prep them at home myself. I don't have control over what they put in the food and that is especially true for meats. I can't have heavy spices, refined oils, garlic and a list of other things. I am thinking of meal prepping 1-2kg of chicken over the weekend and freeze them for the week. Get a salad/rice bowl at work and add my chicken on the side. I could take it a step further and even make healthy deserts to hedge against my sugar cravings.
This is still in brainstorming-phase, I found a few recipes I want to try. Will need to perfect the recipe and ingredients before I mass produce them for the week
Breakfast at work isn't a problem, it's the same every day and I found something that worked there.
A reminder for myself that the best diet I can have is the Keto Paleo keto diet. So I need to cut refined carbs, sugars, fruits.
I am far away from that, I am not willing to commit fully to this diet but I will cut these down a bit. The biggest offenders are: Fruits (Cantaloupe), deserts (mochi/brownie) and white rice (should switch to brown)
- I am also considering increasing my intake of Calcium D glucarate, I am at 1g per day at the moment but should make it to 1.5-2g. I can just buy the powdered form and put it in my drink. I also read mixed things about milk thistle for Gilbert syndrome, will need to look into it a bit more. Finally, i also want to increase my IM glutathione intake to 600mg a day ideally along with my omega 3
Other:
Saw Kai and Jason in the evening, I wanted to get dinner with them but I was there late. I was also so low energy lol
Met some other guys from the group, it's crazy how fast they come and go. There's always a new influx of people and it was nice to see them before my trip today.
Kai wants to test his new program on Jason and I. I gave him a link to this forum thread and to my surprise he's reading every single post. Thank you for your help coach Kai. I'm aways there for you
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