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Chronicles of Ascent: Path Towards Greatness

Bman said:
This is difficult for me to put into words, but I don't think I've ever directly asked about their other relationships. It often happens when I bring up contexts mentioning my other relationships.

Handful of examples of how we end up on the topic:
  • My past marriage comes up, especially if they somehow mention they are getting divorced or something.
  • They be upfront about just getting out of a relationship.
  • I'm being upfront that I see other people.
  • They mention being poly. In which I may directly poke to learn more dynamics.
  • I'm just mentioning some experience I had with a last partner.
  • We're talking about the dating culture in our city or dating culture on apps.
  • Discussing man/woman dynamics.
  • Specific to me, but we talk about how we both got into kink. Usually if they are not new to kink they had a past partner introduce them to it.
Even if you're not looking for a LTR and just want a casual FWB, it's useful information. Also by me talking about other relationships, I'm setting expectations for them that I have options, this won't be exclusive, I'm experienced, and so on.
Click to expand...
It sounds natural to ask when you explain it this way. My mind is growing more comfortable with the idea that this is a normal conversation topic and not out of place. Thank you!
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Tuesday 22nd October:

(1) Work
- Work on releasing armors [Fail]
- Start migration of an armor [Fail]
- Follow back on entitlement rollout [Done]

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min [Done]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Fail]
- Swiping on hinge [Fail]
- Schedule 2nd date [Done]
- Schedule 1st date with another chick from hinge [Done]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Done]
- Wake up early and get light exposure [Done]
- Go to the gym [Done]

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power [Done]
Click to expand...
Today was a mediocre day. My nap and energy supplements that I took along with the high emotions from the date yesterday made me have terrible sleep. This is the second day in a row and I spent the day in autopilot. Not good

Dating:
- Scheduling the second date with the girl from yesterday was a pain in the ass. Our schedule didn't match up and I was anxious about the whole thing. I have had dozens of first dates but only 5ish second dates so they are nerve-racking to me. The closer I am to a lay, the more my mind tries to overreact to everything. It doesn't help that the girl I am messaging is anxious and takes hours to answer my texts.
I thought she was showing signs of disinterest but now I realized that she was just anxious to ask me to reschedule. She said she would try to make her schedule work for tomorrow. She seems very invested which makes me calm down a bit
- I have a first date scheduled for Thursday. Getting as much dating exposure as I can
- I was doing my daily hinge texting/swiping when I realized I don't have time for a third date this week. My weekends are going to be spent on day game. Even if I got numbers, it might be too early to schedule dates for next week. Will wait another day before more leads messaging leads

health:
- In order to get sun exposure in the morning, I decided to try having breakfast at my workplace's terrace. It worked but there were too many bees and wasps coming for my food. I don't think I will do it again
- After taking a nap in the late afternoon, I dragged myself to the gym

Inner game:

I tried to do some inner game on my second date anxiety. I had a few breakthroughs which decreased my worries but ultimately I need more exposure to get rid of them. There's no way around it.

I was also in a terrible mood today but I am happy to say that my self-talk, even on my bad days, is not that bad. My mind knows that I will make it so negative thoughts are transient.

In this journey, to change my core and inner being I have to push myself to the emotional breaking point over and over. The first day I did day game, my whole body was shaking from anxiety. I would come back home emotionally destroyed and just lay in bed like a zombie. I did that for four months before things got better and I fixed my inner game. I will need to keep pushing like this for months or even years.

The fucked up part about all this is that I am part of the lucky few that have the resources, support, knowledge, and time to even do this. This suffering is ultimately a form of privilege.
I find myself complaining a lot about the amount of effort I have to put in but in reality, I should feel grateful that I even have that option. It's hard to accept that, how can I be in a privileged position if I am struggling so much?

What did I do to be a man today?
I pushed through fatigue and got my ass to the gym. Scheduled a few dates too
 
Wednesday 23nd October:

(1) Work
- Work on releasing armors if possible
- Start migration of an armor
- Research rollout statistics

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min
- "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Swiping on hinge
- clean the apartment and prep for date

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water
- Wake up early and get light exposure

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Wednesday 23nd October:

(1) Work
- Work on releasing armors if possible [Done]
- Start migration of an armor [Finished planning]
- Research rollout statistics [Fail]

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min [Fail]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"
- Coaching call with Coach D and Ravi [Done]

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Done]
- Swiping on hinge [Done]
- clean the apartment and prep for date [Cancelled]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Done]
- Wake up early and get light exposure [Done]

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power [Done]
Click to expand...
Dating:

- The girl cancelled for today and I am thankful that she did because I had the chance to go to the coaching call instead
- I got my texts reviewed and now I notice how I may have come out as needy. I don't even see it before someone points it out. I am not sure how to improve on this. Do I need to be more aware of it? Or do I need to change my underlying beliefs? Probably both I guess?

Inner work:

I was able to completely address the sticking point around my anxiety around my second date with this girl. It came from a false perspective on this situation. The girl wanted to see me because I was able to showcase my value to her. I did not get "lucky" but this came from deliberate effort and practice. My value is here and has always been here. I will get better and better at showcasing it and the girls will come.
And boom, just like that, all the anxiety went away. Long live inner game ;)
 
Thursday 24nd October:

(1) Work
- Start migration of an armor
- Research rollout statistics
- Fix major bug in release

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min
- "What did I do today to be a man?"
- Therapy

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Swiping on hinge
- First date with a girl

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water
- Wake up early and get light exposure

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Thursday 24nd October:

(1) Work
- Start migration of an armor [Done]
- Research rollout statistics [Skipped]
- Fix major bug in release [Done]

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min [Done]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"
- Therapy [Done]

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Will do now]
- Swiping on hinge [Will do now]
- First date with a girl [Done]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Done]
- Wake up early and get light exposure [Done]

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power [Done]
Click to expand...

Today was a good day, with progress on various things.

Inner work:

Therapy was good today. One thing that I noticed yesterday when coach D told me that I was able to show my value to that person on my date. The word value didn't sit well with me. As someone who suffered with low self-esteem in the past, I felt like I didn't understand my value correctly.
It's crazy now that I say it but it's true. I realized that I was too harsh on myself and used it to fuel my motivation.

I haven't completely fixed this sticking point but I will explore it more soon.

Dating:

I went on a date with this girl from Hinge. I didn't like her at all. She wasn't that attractive and she sounded so fake. She was needy and anxious. I couldn't get her to open up. She kept bringing up boring topics like engineering or her sales job.
Because she seemed so fake, I couldn't be attracted to her. Just took it as practice and looked for something to be attracted to. Poor girl has one of the worst inner game I have ever seen lol.
She claims to want to see me again. I don't want to but my goal for the next few months is to have 5 lays, I will push through and make it happen anyway.
 
Friday 25th October:

(1) Work
- Finish migration of an armor
- Research rollout statistics

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min
- "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min
- Swiping on hinge
- Day game

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water
- Wake up early and get light exposure

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power
 
She was needy & fake because she wanted your D inside her so fking badly she could hardly keep her shit together

Honestly brah this is a chapter of life, we go on a lot of dates and learn the game, and we meet hella lame ass women, whom we have to learn from

As the years go by, this groundwork is what makes us more actualised and whole

We will review the date audio this Sunday and we'll do some deep coaching

KEEP GOING KING

Make sure you're ontop of sleep.......Keep stress low.....
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Friday 25th October:

(1) Work
- Finish migration of an armor [A lot of progress]
- Research rollout statistics [Skipped]

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min [Fail]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:
- Messaging leads for 15-30min [Skipped]
- Swiping on hinge [Done]
- Day game [Done]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Done]
- Wake up early and get light exposure [Fail]

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power [Fail]
Click to expand...
Today wasn't too great, my sleep was terrible last night but I finally figured out why. The lemonade I was having at the bar was flaring up my stomach. Now that I found the cause things will get better. I will have more energy next week and go on more dates

Dating:

I was tired because of my poor sleep but I took a nap and went day gaming with Dennis. We stumbled across Kai and hung out for the rest of the day. There were very few sets today, we walked from Soho to Union, and I ended up having dinner with Kai.

Kai gave me a lot of advice for my health, my next steps, and what to focus on. I will take the time to order some supplements and a sunlight lamp. Will spend a few hours tomorrow researching what I need to improve my health routine. I promised to help Kai with one of his projects and will be spending a few hours on that soon.
I should ask Kai to join the forums honestly

Hinge-wise, I've been getting a lot of success. I have 3 numbers lined up for next week that I need to schedule. I also need to figure out what to do with the 2 dates I had this week.
I got some feedback on my dating format from Kai. He recommended I go to multiple places on one date to spike comfort and emotions. He said that when I schedule a second date, I lose 90-95% of the comfort I built on the first. The second date has to be a different activity than the first.
I need to figure out my plan for next week, both my dates were good but I am missing something. Maybe it's sexualization? Too uncomfortable with my pulling? Too tired because of IBS causing Lemonade? Not sure honestly. For now, I am exhausted and need to recover
 
Saturday 26th October:

(1) Work
- No work on weekends

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min
- "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:
- Day game

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water
- Wake up early and get light exposure
- Research and order
- Gym

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power
 
MakingAComeback said:
She was needy & fake because she wanted your D inside her so fking badly she could hardly keep her shit together

Honestly brah this is a chapter of life, we go on a lot of dates and learn the game, and we meet hella lame ass women, whom we have to learn from

As the years go by, this groundwork is what makes us more actualised and whole

We will review the date audio this Sunday and we'll do some deep coaching

KEEP GOING KING

Make sure you're ontop of sleep.......Keep stress low.....
Click to expand...
haha yes, she definitely was. Neediness is so unattractive tho, I wasn't sure if I wanted to pull.

This chapter of my life is in full swing, a lot of new experiences. I am hella close to a good pull, I can feel it.

Thank you for the coaching 🙏

Stress is under control and sleep will be sorted :)
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Saturday 26th October:

(1) Work
- No work on weekends

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min [Fail]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:
- Day game [Done]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Done]
- Wake up early and get light exposure [Fail]
- Research and order [Done]
- Gym [Done]

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power [Done]
Click to expand...
A lot has happened since my last post. I am putting an effort to not fall behind my daily schedule.

I went out with Kai on Saturday night and it was my first time doing night game. I wasn't feeling like going out but I am happy that I did since it gave me a new experience. Got to meet angry Adam (Kai's wing). He seems super cool and is high level. There weren't good sets, they were all in big groups which made it hard to approach them. I did 3 sets before we called it.

I ordered a lot of new supplement that were recommended to me by my DNA test. I don't want to call things too early but a day later I feel good. This could be just me catching up on my sleep so it's will keep you guys updated on this.

Ravi reviewed one of my date audios. I noticed a lot of my sticking points I need to improve on. Mainly:
- Be more grounded on sets: I have gotten better but need a bit more
- Be more touchy from the beginning of the date: Currently wait 40-60 min before being touchy
- My dates are too long, I need to shorten them to an 1h30min MAX. Put a timer for 1h and then go straight to the pull
- My sexualization is weak: I need more exposure to be more comfortable with this

I have a date scheduled for Monday and Tuesday. Also looking for one later in the week

Thursday is a huge day game day. Halloween is coming and sets are going to be everywhere.
 
Monday 28th October:

(1) Work
- Finish new armor migration
- Do research on project success

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min
- "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:
- Date at 7 with brown girl

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water
- Wake up early and get light exposure
- Research and orde

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Monday 28th October:

(1) Work
- Finish new armor migration [Getting there]
- Do research on project success [Need to fix it again]

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 30min [Fail]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:
- Date at 7 with brown girl [She rescheduled]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Done]
- Wake up early and get light exposure [Fail]

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power [Done]
Click to expand...

The girl canceled the date because of work and asked to reschedule for tomorrow. Told her I am busy tomorrow (I have a date) and that I am not free until Friday. She hasn't answered back yet.

I took the time to decompress and research some things about my health. Will go for an early night today and slay it tomorrow
 
Tuesday 29th October:

(1) Work
- Finish new armor migration
- Figure out what to do to fix project

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 15min
- "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:
- Date at 7

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water
- Wake up early and get light exposure

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power
 
JourneyToOptimal said:
Tuesday 29th October:

(1) Work
- Finish new armor migration
- Figure out what to do to fix project

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 15min [Fail]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:
- Date at 7 [Rescheduled]
+ Day game [Done]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [Meh]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Fail]
- Wake up early and get light exposure [Done]

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power [Done]
Click to expand...

Today was a great day. I had a lot of energy, a product of a good routine, and taking yesterday evening off.

Dating:

This date has also rescheduled, I will see her on Sunday instead. This is the second time someone rescheduled this week. It's a time waste for me but I can't realistically do anything about it.
Since I had the energy, I decided to go to a day game instead. I met up with Dennis and Mike. I love day gaming with these guys. We have a good vibe and challenge each other.
Dennis told me he reads my posts. I appreciate it, man. Makes me more motivated to write them

Side Note:

Dennis and Mike think that dating is only getting harder from here, especially in New York. Dating apps are getting harder, the bar keeps going up but when will it stop? Who will get matches at this point? 1-5% of people?
This gives me the motivation to keep going. I need to improve my masculinity by building my core. I need more exposure, blowouts, and dates. I have around 350-400 total approaches, I need at least another 600-700 more to get anywhere.

Debrief:

Today I did 9 approaches, a pretty good number. A lot of blowouts which is fine. Notable sets:

- This short, tainted girl from Williamsburg: I expected a blowout but she stopped and gave me a shot. The conversation was a bit awkward, couldn't find much to vibe on. Got her number
- Young Asian who didn't want to stop that I battled. Her: "I need to go home" Me: "Your home is not going anywhere, let's talk for a bit" Her: "I need to go make dinner" Me: "What about you make dinner for the both of us then" Her: "I have a boyfriend".
This went back and forth several more times and didn't go anywhere. I am getting better at dealing with objections, slowly but surely

Work:
Work-wise things are going well, made some progress. This was a slow day since we have a 2-day conference going on. Since this was in another office, my diet and health routine were thrown off.
I might visit that office more often since it's a walk away. This will get my sun exposure right in the morning.

Health/Money:
I have one Dante coaching session on Saturday but it will be my last for some time. I can't afford to do both 2 coaching programs at the same time. I will tell Dante that I am taking some time off day game to focus on dating.
I also need the money to focus on my health for some time. Kai, my health coach, recommended some medications to boost my energy and routine but they are expensive.
The supplements that were recommended to me from my DNA test have been great for my energy levels and well-being. Now my problem is that I have too many, I will work on eliminating the useless ones bit by bit.
 
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Wednesday 30th October:

(1) Work
- Finish new armor migration
- Figure out what to do to fix the project

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 15min
- "What did I do today to be a man?"
- Want to look into self-worth an value

(3) Dating:
- Hinge swiping
- Hinge leads
- Complete 10 sentences of each dating category

(4) Health:
- Good diet
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water
- Wake up early and get light exposure while walking to the office
- Gym
- Figure out plan to stop antidepressant

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power
 
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JourneyToOptimal said:
Wednesday 30th October:

(1) Work
- Finish new armor migration [Got distracted with other important work]
- Figure out what to do to fix the project [Fixed]

(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 15min [Done]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"
- Want to look into self-worth and value [Done]

(3) Dating:
- Hinge swiping [Fail]
- Hinge leads [Fail]
- Complete 10 sentences of each dating category [Fail]

(4) Health:
- Good diet [FAIL]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Fail]
- Wake up early and get light exposure while walking to the office [Done]
- Gym [Fail]
- Figure out plan to stop antidepressant [Fail]

(5) Other:
- Read more 48 laws of power [Done]
Click to expand...

Today was mediocre. I was tired in the morning because of day game yesterday and its effects on my sleep. I pushed through and did a lot of work.

I then fucked up my diet, my curiosity took the better of me, and decided to try yeast-made milk. It's a yeast that was genetically engineered to produce milk protein so with no fats or lactose. I was curious to know how I would react to it. I know I don't tolerate milk but was it because of the trace of lactose? The fats? The protein? I can now confidently say it's the protein. My mood and energy levels took a bit hit. I don't remember the last time I was so negative. I also couldn't do much after work

Growing up I would have milk every day which could have caused a lot of negative thoughts in the past. I feel grateful that I figured out a diet that works for me. My mishap today will not happen again



Inner game:

I noticed a week ago that I struggled with lower self-esteem, and I wanted to explore this further. I am already reading 48 Laws of Power and have four other books queued up, so I can't add another one on top of that.

I researched online and found a quote that stood out to me: "People with lower self-esteem apply a way higher standard to themself than to others". This is very true for me
In the past, I have fallen into the trap of being overly self-critical and expecting myself to be perfect. I have gotten way better at this but it still exists to some degree.

The part I struggle with is that if I were to reduce these high standards of myself then would I still push myself as hard as I want to? I don't want to give my mind a reason to slow down at all. I am going 100% on my goals and nothing else.

There must be a better way to view this, I will bring it up at therapy tomorrow

EDIT:
After thinking about it for a bit, I decided that I can't have a standard around my outcomes because It's not something I can control. Instead, I will have high standards around my systems and the effort I put in. As long as I am doing the work, I will be proud of myself.
 
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