Thrice log. weird saturday night

Ali said:

That's fair enough, but I feel like It would be a hollow victory, just because you would have allowed their negativity to occupy your headspace for all that time while you were working towards that moment

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True. But its also true that they dont know that i looksmaxed. They think im still the fat beta they made the group about.
One of the girls the other day was staring at me trying to see if she can embarass me knowing that i know about the group. She tried so hard to keep eye contact thinking i would look down First, she tried her best and end up not beign able to hold eye contact with me. She really tried her best for almost 60 seconds and then went like hold on theres something wrong here this guy is not a beta anymore

Thrice said:

True. But its also true that they dont know that i looksmaxed. They think im still the fat beta they made the group about.
One of the girls the other day was staring at me trying to see if she can embarass me knowing that i know about the group. She tried so hard to keep eye contact thinking i would look down First, she tried her best and end up not beign able to hold eye contact with me. She really tried her best for almost 60 seconds and then went like hold on theres something wrong here this guy is not a beta anymore

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So I haven't read your full log and I can see you have had a bit of a rough go of it with health (both physical and mental). I won’t comment on that because I'm not an expert, but I do hope things are getting better for you.

I wanted to point this part from your post out as it highlights an attitude that will hold you back. The way you're using the terms beta and chad/alpha says a lot about where you are in your journey. You're clearly angry and have had bad experiences with dating. You are using that anger to progress, and that's a good thing, but I want to point out eventually this anger will start working against you. Firstly, stop giving a fuck about this group chat. Getting into staring contests isn't going to help with the creepy perception people have of you. You can't change the fact it exists and thinking about fighting people in the group is childish at best. If you had the other areas of your life sorted and you stopped the unattractive behaviour, these groups would be meaningless to you. My buddy has been posted like 7 times in "Are we dating the same guy?" on Facebook. He gets comments from people he hooked up with that say things like DM me immediately, he's bad news or stay away from this guy. He was still getting dates any night of the week he wanted. So ignore the group chat and work on being someone people want to be around and it will fizzle out, without you having a fight and making you look like a fucking idiot.

People in these spaces use Alpha and Beta wrong. You need both to make a relationship work and you can't have too much of one without it negatively affecting things. Beta, is a term for behaviors that make her feel comfortable, whereas Alpha are behaviours that make her wet. Think of it as mixing a drink. In this case the Beta is the mixer and the Alpha is the liquor. Too much liquor will eventually make you feel bad (or in a relationship sense, anxious) and too much beta makes the drink boring (too much comfort reduces anxiety, which links to a girl's sex drive). My cousin has very little comfort building skills. He drives women mad and eventually they get too anxious and run to the safer guy for comfort. He has a great time, but he struggles to keep people around. The flip side to this is being too comfortable and that doesnt make women want to fuck you. Being attractive and going beyond a fuck boy will require both parts to make things work. If you assume all beta behaviour is bad, eventually you will run into retention problems.

I am very frustrated with my behavior. Today I had all the time in the world but I woke up late and didn't do shit. I'm working out but I'm not taking pictures and doing all the other stuff I need to do. I keep looking at girls on ig and tiktok instead of doing what I have to do to be the guy they hang out with. I'm 36 yet I act like i'm 16 with plenty of time ahead that I can afford to waste.

Tomorrow I will stick to my goals, I will add a timeline too, i hope it helps, but that's what I tell myself every time and I fail over and over again.

-wake up by 9.30 am
-clean the house from 10.30 to 12am
-workout 1pm
-practice singing 2.30pm
-practice taking pictures 3 to 5pm

i decided that multitasking is what is fucking me up brothers, i will have one goal and it's creating a cool ig page with cool pics. I will always be in a deficit and training at least 3 times/week

the problem with other things like practice singing etc is it makes me distracted, when I do the vocal exercises my brain is all over the place thinking about girls and stuff, what should be 20 minutes of vocal practice turns into 2 hours of looking at girls on ig and tiktok. my brain is too distracted thinking i have to take pics

what i'm missing is a car and a cool ig page and i have to take care of that for my brain to calm down and be able to add more tasks

i will take at least 10 pictures every day, if i can't go out with my professional camera I will just take 10 shitty selfies with my old smartphone

the goal here is to fight my demons and get rid of my trauma. I wasn't able to take pictures or look at myself for years

thats my core trauma really, you have no idea. It's nothing to joke about. One time my sister took a picture of me at her birthday and did all it took to not look at it without them noticing. Trauma is not just coming back from a war as soldier, this is real trauma. It's fucked up i know, but it's proof trauma can be many things.

tomorrow I will post the next 10 pics, it's hard to explain what style i want to get so i will also post pics of guys i look up to so you can understand. Mainly edgy tattooed guys i see on ig

Brother_Tucker said:

So I haven't read your full log and I can see you have had a bit of a rough go of it with health (both physical and mental). I won’t comment on that because I'm not an expert, but I do hope things are getting better for you.

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thanks brother for your insight but things are very very hard to explain on a forum. i'm not going around beating people up to be alpha. Girls from tinder still text me, half of them said they're in love with me. It's hard for a guy like me who changes mood every day to portray my real self on a forum. even when i'm angry i don't think it really shows so i'm a bit tired of the "girls sense that" theory. The only way to know is to meet in real life

Nice way to confront this head on. I still don't like having my picture taken either, you got this bro!

Tomorrow is my free day so i will try to get more stuff done

- wake up by 10 am
-clean house 11
-take pictures inside and work on posture and expressions 12
- workout and clean house by 2 pm
- look for musicians and band members 3 pm

at 4.30 pm I will visit a dermatologist because i'm worried about my hairline, i don't know if it's receding, instead of living in denial and waking up when it's too late I immediately started 1.25mg Finastride and 5% minoxidil, I also ordered a dermaroller from amazon

after the doctor visit i can take pictures outside but it will probably be too dark already

in the evening I will work on photoshopping my pictures and cleaning the gym

Unfortunately, I can't stop thinking about the group they made about me, it makes me depressed.
i need a real social circle, not just for weekends, but real friends i can go out with everyday, i also need hobbies but i don't know how to fucking do it

Thrice said:

Tomorrow is my free day so i will try to get more stuff done

- wake up by 10 am
-clean house 11
-take pictures inside and work on posture and expressions 12
- workout and clean house by 2 pm
- look for musicians and band members 3 pm

at 4.30 pm I will visit a dermatologist because i'm worried about my hairline, i don't know if it's receding, instead of living in denial and waking up when it's too late I immediately started 1.25mg Finastride and 5% minoxidil, I also ordered a dermaroller from amazon

after the doctor visit i can take pictures outside but it will probably be too dark already

in the evening I will work on photoshopping my pictures and cleaning the gym

Unfortunately, I can't stop thinking about the group they made about me, it makes me depressed.
i need a real social circle, not just for weekends, but real friends i can go out with everyday, i also need hobbies but i don't know how to fucking do it

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u do it one little thing at a time. join something. "le climbing gym" show up, be nice, ask how to do something.

I too am an introvert so i also hate doing this, but yeah, thats how its done i think. Our messiah amdy recommends Meetup. Read andys posts about it, and remember to have a drink and a flirt with life itself, and see what happens.

Thrice said:

I've had tonsillitis and it fucked me up, I had to take antibiotics and rest. I will start logging again today. Today I cleaned the house for my new Airbnb guest and it was so much work, the house was a mess as usual.
I have to find a way to work less while still making the same money, fuck cleaning toilets.

goals for tomorrow

- gym (push day)
- clean the rest of the house
-practice singing (30 minutes)
-take pictures inside for tinder and ig

I have been dealing with a lot of anger lately while sick and bedridden. I don't like that they made a group about me and want to know who did it first. Also, I wouldn't say I like it when some girls look at me like that at the club. These girls never faced any consequences and never paid for this behavior. The West is a fucking circus with beta males allowing all sorts of behavior from women.
Now they will have to deal with my new chad version and I bet none of them expected that. I'm not a clown and will find out everything about that group and who said what.

My plan is to use the girls that like me and ask them to tell me everything, we know they do everything for you when they like you. I have at least a couple of girls that like me from that group, maybe 3. If the person who started the group is a guy i feel it won't end very well for him.

Yes i used to stalk girls with fake profiles, there's a very long story behind this. All they care about is protecting the little angels from creeps. No one mentions that "creeps" are created because woman find most men repulsive so most man live in a constant state of sexual and love scarcity. Which is the reason i used to stalk girls, to see what they are doing on weekends.
It was just fear on missing out on love and sex, and thats what happened to me.

I chose this tattoo artist for my sleeve

https://www.instagram.com/mirkoponti__/?hl=en

now the goal is to instagram max and ascend so i can have my first social circle lay

i found this guy on youtube, some positive looksmaxing content without any blackpill spin, so i like it, at least it keeps me positive

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bro this is gunna sound RETARDED coming from me, Im a very angry person. But bro. Your mindset is not going to work. It's like a super villians mindset, and your placing yourself agasint the world. That is exhausting and not worthwhile. It WILL NOT WORK. UNFORTUNATELY. I ought to know.

Them making a group about u is whack. Unfortunately going joker mode and trying to get back at them is just what those people want. Don't do that. Build YOURSELF not expend energy on those people. cmon, that should be obvious. Also, yes the west is 100% fucked up right now. Its DEI, its gaslighting, it is gynocentric, its cold and gdp oriented in the states, the culture is lowest common denominator shit for the most part, and they're literally deliberately replacing the host populations of western nations and feminism does suck.

But what does that do for you to curse the betatization. You're not that good bro, you're not gunna be able to do anything. You gotta focus on you man, truly. im really in the same boat mindset wise.

You're not a creep. Or if you were, your past it. Understand theres two sides to every viewpoint, and even if you're right here just simply UNDERSTAND why they would label you as such, have a laugh about it, and move on. if you were stalking girls, and then they talk shit about u cuz of it, well bro, you just have to accept that. move beyond it. That's what a man is, to move beyond and press forward despite mistakes, grievances, embarrassments, punt-offs, disrespect you've caused yourself, things you put yourself on trial for and the ramifications. You must move beyond it. A new paradigm.

Stop viewing these bitches as anything but silly idiots. Girls are screwballs, and frankly bro, you've acted like a screwball yourself too. So have some sympathy for their retardation, would ya?

and Idk if you watch porn. If you do, stop.

I'm trying to take some pictures every day, it's so hard to get rid of that incel stare. It's amazing how girls start taking amazing pictures at 15 and adult males can't for most of their lives. Thinking about it it's one of the few things they do better than us. All I need is 4/5 pics for a good ig.
I downloaded Tinder and got 8 matches that went nowhere, and I had to use a boost for those 8 matches. Meanwhile, girls are slaying.
The pain in my chest is so heavy it's holding me down like an anchor.
Girls are never single, and here I am in a fucking forum to figure out how to get laid. What a fucking planet we live in, humanity should be grateful I don't have access to the red button.
I have nothing to say for now, I will delete tinder because I can't handle it like I thought. It blackpilled me all over again in 24 hours and I'm already depressed as it is.

I will keep taking pictures and working out on a deficit. Once i learn to pose and get rid of the incel stare i will start taking pictures outside. Ideally, I need one or two social pictures that still look cool. Not me drinking with bald fat friends. if the friends are visible they have to be edgy and in good lighting like it's a magazine pic.

The second option would be me djeing and i can just pay a dj to let me play with him. The third option is me playing or singing live, i can also pay a band and ask them to let me do it.

One of the pictures could be a traveling pic, i can just book a weekend in Paris or Amsterdam, it's very cheap. I have to learn to pose and smile first or it would be just a waste of money

Once i get back to a decent bf i will start hitting the clubs again

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears