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colgate - FINALLY!!! i get my first daygame lay!!! after 3 years!!!

colgate / bulldog

colgate / bulldog

Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2021
Goal
BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age
27
Motto
consistency. acceptance. tumescence.
Location
tokyo, japan
Hi, I'm colgate. I probably wouldn't have picked this username now, but at the time I just ran with a nickname someone gave me from an old Discord chat because I pretty much impulsively made an account. This log is a documentation of my journey to actually have a dating life, from nearly zero.

Up until I made an account, I had 1 gf I did nothing with except hold hands with in high school, and kiss 2 other girls. Went on 2 dates with a girl I'd approached a month prior to creating an account (none before that in my life). Never slept with a girl.

Here's my first post on the forums: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=18942#p18942

And here's my story, in excruciating detail: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=28200#p28200

blackpill phase log (and getting out of it) (nov 2022-feb 2023): https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1793

Bookmarks
nashville 1 (sep 2021-oct 2021)
2nd date of my entire life with 2nd girl I ever approached in hotel lobby: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=19319#p19319
Makeout with girl in classroom I just met an hour prior: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=21522#p21522
KYIL cold approaches in a day record (130): https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=21803#p21803

austin (nov 2021-dec 2021)
First time I pulled a girl to my place from cold approach: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=23868#p23868

phoenix (jan 2022)
2 dates with a Japanese girl, blueballed from pull+no hookup so I make out with half-asian girl at night: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=27153#p27153
Makeout with a pornstar: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=27178#p27178

california (feb 2022-mar 2022)
Brought back HOT HOT asian barbie doll from daygame mall instadate: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=29869#p29869
Choked and sucked a girl's titties in my car after first date: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=30006#p30006

nashville 2 (apr 2022-nov 2022)
Lost v-card from nightgame instapull with southern belle cheerleader: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=37953#p37953
2nd lay within 48 hours of first one: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=38018#p38018
I deflower and plate a 6'5" chick: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=41104#p41104
Hosting fellow KYIL user arcade_fireee for his first nightgame lay: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=42515#p42515

tokyo (apr 2023-)
Took an 18 year old classmate's virginity. Never even held hands with a guy before me: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=58395#p58395
Double date chick swap foursome: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=75882#p75882

--

original first post:
hey y'all, I'm gonna try to make video logs when I can about my progress and also write some commentary about them in this thread.

here's my first one: https://streamable.com/gpt2ez

This one is just a short introduction about myself. I'm 25 and 5'5", and my goal is to get JACKED. I'm right now 138 lbs and I think I'll look better at 150 lbs (with muscle).

With talking to women, and life in general, my biggest problem I feel is being honest and authentic to strangers and people I don't know. I used to feel that if I told people what I actually thought or my truth, I would be cast out and rejected. But, rejection is just a way for you to screen and filter out people you don't need in your life and that's necessary.

I've been able to approach girls and start talking to them (Andy's 3-2-1-GO thing helps me a lot with doing this), but I haven't straight up told a girl I think she's hot or attractive, which is going to be my next goal.

After watching this, I think I need to cut the self-deprecating humor and even though I intend to make these as stream-of-consciousness videos, I should probably think about what I want to say more clearly and slowly.
 
oh yeah, here's what I looked like before i started working out recently (a month ago). i think i was around 130 lbs in this picture. i have worked out in the past (powerlifting, rock climbing, calisthenics, sprints/running, biking), but over the past 4 months I've done basically nothing.

I'm only lean because I decided to do keto for 4 or so months, and I recommend it to anyone who is sedentary. I've been eating carbs again now that I've been doing resistance training again.
 
Went to the mall today with the intent of buying a ring (didn't find any that fit me, everything was too big), but I ended up buying shoes. Honestly the most annoying part of being a smaller dude is just the logistics of buying things that fit you; I see a lot of outfits I like but then everything is in M and L and XL, and sometimes even S is too big... (I wear size 28 pants, and those can sometimes be challenging to find too, other than regular blue jeans)

Then I gallivanted around for 2 hours, stuck in my head, paralyzed by my own analysis, not knowing what to say to the cute girls walking by. This was a sign that I really needed the Approach Anxiety program, because I was absolutely aimless in my own attempt - I need a program that just tells me what to do so I stop overthinking.

Listened to Days 1-3 in the car, and I just finished creating a profile on PlentyOfFish as said on Day 3 and started messaging girls. I forgot if it was Day 1 or Day 2, but something Chris said in the guide resonated with me deeply. That if your goal is to get laid and overcome your approach anxiety, this needs to be your number 1 priority. And if you have school or work, then it should be your top secondary priority. Honestly, it's something I've not done in my whole life (for years, my attitude was "oh I'm just making a Tinder for fun", "oh I'll wait until I'm 30+ when I have more stability and resources"). But I felt extremely isolated and frustrated in this past year, and I know I'll have to overcome this at some point. I'm still 25 (24 when I started doing self-improvement in general), and it's literally better to start now when I'm still considered young so I don't have regrets in the future, and have to overcome the hardships of an aging body, in addition to dealing with social anxiety around women. Luckily for me, I actually have a wonderful opportunity now, since I'm in a new city and working from home and I don't know when I'll ever get this kind of opportunity again, so I can really make this a top priority.

I only fast-tracked myself to Day 4 because that's where the first drill is, and I was already out so I drove my ass to the park and got cracking with asking 5 girls for the time.

I took some video/audio footage of me doing the drill in real time, and I hope to one day have an archive of me doing every single drill so others in my position can see it and gain some confidence. It's something I would have liked right now, but since I haven't seen a full archive of all the drills yet (only some here and there), I'll start my own. (If someone has done this, let me know lol).

https://streamable.com/tmzmu2

Apologies for the loud walking noises and the muffled audio when I was giving some live commentary, I put my phone in my pocket with the mic facing down instead of up, but I'll annotate what was happening in the video.
2:41 - 1st approach. Not counting it because she was a parking attendant I previously talked to when coming into the lot, but I guess it was a nice warmup.
4:36 - REAL 1st approach. Two athletic girls (20s) who were probably 5'10"-ish. One of them just apologized to me for not having the time, the other one gave me a time from her time zone (I live near a time zone border). Another lady saw me asking these girls for the time and told me the time in my timezone, but I'm counting this as 1 since I only asked once. (Damn, I wish I asked 5 seconds earlier, would have been 4:31pm at 4:31 in the video)
5:48 - 2nd approach. A young mother (early 20s) playing with her little daughter. The mom looked kind of scared by me which increased my anxiety too, but she ended up giving me the time anyway. I'm going to have to learn how to deal with this situation because this is definitely not going to be the last time I'll run into a girl scared by me.
8:36 - 3rd approach. Some woman (30s?) with her boyfriend/husband. This was actually easier for me I guess because I really felt there were no strings attached to what I was asking
9:25 - 4th approach. Another mother-daughter pair, but the mother was much older (and the daughter was probably near my age). I asked both of them, but the mom ended up giving me the time. But hey, I got the time from someone without a penis!
10:44 - 5th approach. Two girls followed by some other dude, and I assumed they were all friends (haha....). One of the girls was in front and she ended up giving me the time.

So yeah, that took me about 11 minutes. I left the footage uncut and unedited 1. because I'm a lazy motherfucker and 2. I had some commentary that I was able to get out while I was looking for more girls (hopefully next time it will actually be audible). Also, I think recording myself made me do the drill faster because I felt accountable to the video, so I plan on doing my drills on tape as much as possible.

And just for fun, here's a short clip I recorded maybe 20 mins after I did the drill regarding my mental/emotional state:

https://streamable.com/jnfi3f

haha, "Anxiety Approach drill"........that's revealing.......

Anyway, I'm open to any feedback y'all might have about how I'm approaching women for future drills.
 
btw can someone tell me how to edit the topic of my thread lol (i'd like to put certain headlines in it when i update it)
 
Also, one day I'd like to have the balls to ask the time even while wearing a watch...
 
colgate said:
btw can someone tell me how to edit the topic of my thread lol (i'd like to put certain headlines in it when i update it)
Click to expand...

Edit the headline of your 1st post!

colgate said:
Also, one day I'd like to have the balls to ask the time even while wearing a watch...
Click to expand...

Hehe, bro you'll make it for sure!
 
Was planning on doing the entire day 5 drill yesterday, but a girl I asked to dinner out 2 weeks ago asked me to dinner that evening (I'll get into the details of that in another post, but spoiler: it was a rejection at the end), so in the interest of not being late, I only did the first part of the day 5 drill, which is just asking 5 girls for the time again. Will do the rest of the day 5 drill today.

https://streamable.com/lijf97

I happened to run into a live music show at a different park, which was awesome for me and I probably would have stayed if I didn't have an appointment, but now I know that this would be a good place to do drills if I can find out when shows are happening.
0:33 - 1st approach. I saw this girl walking as I was driving and wanted to get to her afap (as fast as possible......), so I immediately parked my car and chased her down to get the time. Thinking about doing this would have really given me a lot of anxiety about being weird, but I was in game mode and so I didn't give a fuck, I had a mission to accomplish
1:30 - 2nd approach. Some older woman sitting down at a bus stop. She went out of her way to grab her phone out of her bag to give me the time, which I really appreciated.
2:28 - 3rd approach. Two hot girls sitting in lawn chairs enjoying the show.

I was making record time at this point, but then my balls shriveled up and I got anxious about other people seeing me ask a bunch of people for the time (which is fucking stupid lol), so I wandered around for a bit away from the live music venue, even though there were plenty of girls I could have asked the time from.

5:12 - Approach attempt. Tried the girl with a guy strategy again, thinking it would be easier but this time the guy gave me the time, so doesn't count.
6:37 - Another approach attempt. Ditto as previous attempt. I decided this strategy sucks, and I'm probably going to avoid women with a man for now (besides, I don't plan on hitting on girls with boyfriends/husbands so it's probably better I get rid of this crutch early).
7:58 - 4th approach. Kind of convenient for me as this woman was crossing the street from the median in my direction.

Lots of walking down random streets and commentary at this point. It was a Sunday evening and I'm in a smaller town. While there are some events going on (as you can probably tell from the video), no one was really walking around. I saw this as my punishment for pussing out from the music show and I wasted a lot of time finding someone else. Started running when I could, but I was too anxious to run a LOT, which is also a little bullshit.
Side note: for some reason everyone today was giving me approximate times instead of exact times.

12:59 - 5th approach. I thought this was one of my ballsier attempts, because I saw a big LED clock/temperature display, and normally I would have made some bullshit excuse like "why would anyone give me the time, they're just going to think I'm stupid because there's a giant clock right there", but I decided to try to inflate my balls back up to size and ask anyway. There was a mother and a daughter who looked my age, and the mother didn't have the time but her daughter did. Turns out the clock display was 5 minutes off (it said 5:10 and the girl told me 5:05).

Remarks
https://streamable.com/ny9yy1

These AA drills are forcing me out of my head and making me get REAL data of how people actually act, rather than just theorizing how everyone will think I'm embarrassing and stupid and resorting to non-action. When I asked the girl for the time near the LED clock display, I thought the first word out of the mother's mouth was going to be "why are you asking me" and I was so scared and nervous, but of course I was completely wrong (fortunately). This is going to get really hard when the drills start getting crazy, but it's all about progressive overload, so I'll be able to do it when I get there.

Another cool thing about these drills, especially since I'm not that familiar with my current city, is that I'm forced to explore and learn where people often meet and hang out, which is really great because 1) I'm learning more about this city 2) I would know where to go when I want to go out and I would know how to give people, especially girls, a good time. And in the short term, I'll be spending less time looking for places to do the drills because I'll have a mental shortlist of good places to go.

Some bonus footage of the music show. I wish I could have stayed longer but I had an appointment. Really glad I'm in a sane place haha (wrt the pandemic/lockdowns/etc)
https://streamable.com/rrlelg
 
I might stop making super long detailed posts everyday because they take me a while to write, and I've realized I get into the habit of checking my thread too much (instead of going out, or doing other things). So I'll probably just make periodic updates when I feel like it and I have time.

I finished up day 5b yesterday (asking girls for the time, but quickly). It was raining outside so I went to the mall. Ended up not giving a fuck and just ran up to girls and asked them for the time, as if I was in a hurry haha. I tried to get some footage, but my phone stopped recording (probably because my jeans were wet and it pocket-dialed the stop button). I decided to redo this part of the drill again, even faster, but my phone quit recording AGAIN :|. I might quit recording all the time in general because it's kind of a hassle and I can't focus as well.

The only strange reaction I got was when I kind of sped up towards some girls walking in my direction and they got startled. I saw an older woman turn to me and she looked kind of pissed and mad, but she gave me the time anyway, but I apologized for suddenly dashing towards them.

I also tried to ask the time from a Hispanic woman who didn't know English, and I didn't know Spanish for "what time is it" so that one didn't count for me. I should probably learn a few Spanish phrases lol.

I actually ended up mustering some courage to go up to one of the girls I asked the time for previously and asking for her number, but she said she had a boyfriend. Usually I would have made some excuse like "oh she knows my phone doesn't work since I asked for the time", but I ended up getting around that by lying that my phone was dead. In retrospect, this isn't really a good idea and I shouldn't have said anything about my phone.

By the time I did day 5b twice, it was still pouring so I did some clothes shopping. There's a store called EXPRESS which actually has some nice stuff in men's XS, so I ended up buying a few things. There are far more things in larger sizes though, so I recommend it to anyone.

I also decided to start doing day 6 (just one set since it was getting a bit late), and got through the time and time+directions reps pretty easily, but I had a lot of trouble doing the last rep (time+directions+have you been there). I failed 3 times, usually forgetting to ask "have you been there", asking the directions before the time (and still not asking have you been there).

It was getting close to sunset and I was tired of being at the mall (it's not that big), so I decided to drive quickly to the park to at least get the last rep. I also made a deal with myself that if I don't do the last rep, I don't get to eat dinner.

I kept pussing out at asking girls (mostly it was girls with boyfriends), and when I did finally gain the testicles to ask some girls sitting down, I fucked up by 1) asking the directions first and 2) forgetting to ask if they'd been there. I think this last rep is really forcing me to stop trying to flee when cold approaching.

I finally ran into a group of people, including a pretty cute girl, playing frisbee in the park and decided to join their game. I asked the girl specifically time+directions to a restaurant+if she's been there (so I finally got dinner haha). I have also been trying to make friends too, so I'm glad I met these people. I exchanged numbers with all of them including the girl so we'll see where that goes.

I do feel like this is a copout hack though, and even though the net result was good, I plan on just redoing day 6 again (doing 5 sets from the beginning instead of just 4). I need to do the last rep with just a girl that I cold approach normally.
 
So I made a deal to myself last night while I was eating at a restaurant: "If I don't try to get this waitress's number, tomorrow I'm driving up 2 hours to Nashville and dropping money on a hotel for a few nights".

Well, I pussed out and lost the deal so here I am in Nashville, down $200 plus gas money.

I walk into the hotel lobby and see this cute latina girl sitting down doing her makeup, and already I'm like "you gotta talk to her right now". I pussed out for a bit and checked into my room, and started setting up my work computer, but she couldn't get out of my mind. I wasn't going to start this trip with a total fucking failure, especially since I'm down at least $200 now.

I made yet another deal to myself, "you're ditching your work meeting if you don't talk to her right now". Imagining ditching my meeting was too embarrassing for me, so after maybe 30 seconds of sitting down, I walked my ass downstairs and saw her doing nothing.

I told her she was really cute and that I wanted her number. She said that she isn't from here, and I said the same. So I pulled out my phone and she put it in. Cool, didn't miss my meeting.

I ended up taking her to lunch near my hotel after a few hours (I suggested we go to town and walk around or go to a cafe, but she suggested trying the restaurant next door), and we talked for a while but I got really engrossed in the conversation. She actually said she was waiting for a friend to pick her up in a few hours but I didn't have the balls to actually get her back to my room, and instead arranged for a second date tomorrow, with the excuse that "I had some work to do".

I do have one question, is it necessary to buy her meal/drink? I don't mind doing it and actually enjoy that, but if anyone has any reason not to, feel free to let me know.

Anyway, I went back to my room for a bit and did some work, but I couldn't stop thinking about her, and really felt like a retard for pussing out on inviting her back to my room. I wanted to tell her "you're really hot, wanna come back to my room and make out?", but when I went down, there were some other people sitting across from her and I pussed out from saying my true desire and just meekly asked her "hey wanna chill in my room while you wait for your friend". She, of course, declined my dishonest request.

I think we're still on for the date tomorrow, but I'll probably go hit up some venues tonight and try to get some more numbers as a backup plan.

STOP PUSSING OUT DUDE. BE HONEST. NO REASON TO BE DISHONEST IF YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING.
 
colgate said:
I do have one question, is it necessary to buy her meal/drink? I don't mind doing it and actually enjoy that, but if anyone has any reason not to, feel free to let me know.
Click to expand...
It depends. Most of my dates are super casual. Coffee or ice cream. I don't mind spending an extra 5 bucks on the girl. Especially if she is way younger. Like if shes 18, I'm more financially stable then her so i don't care. I wouldn't buy a chick a $50 steak dinner ever. Nor do i ever take a girl out for dinner on a long ass dinner date. short dates where you pull back home have much more value then a long date. The chick will either be in a state to hook up or she wont. The length of the date wont change that fact. So its better to be quick and concise.

colgate said:
I wanted to tell her "you're really hot, wanna come back to my room and make out?", but when I went down, there were some other people sitting across from her and I pussed out from saying my true desire and just meekly asked her "hey wanna chill in my room while you wait for your friend".
Click to expand...
You don't need to be overtly sexual. It can work sometimes, but it could also hurt. What you did was actually perfect. You didn't pussy out in the slightest. You went and asked her back to your room. That is a huge win.

When I'm on a date i have never said "lets go back to my place to fuck" probably wouldn't work most of the time unless the vibe is there. I generally say "lets go back to my place and watch a movie/tv show"

Its not disingenuous. The implication of going back to a guys room is generally associated with hooking up.

Ive had some success but i am not the expert on dating. This is just what i do
 
I figured while I'm in Nashville, and as a backup plan I would go hit the clubs. But when I turned onto Broadway, I had no idea what to expect and got so intimidated by the scene - it's NOTHING like my town and almost felt like I was in New York City or something
View attachment 1 (not my image, and there were probably 100000 more people tonight).

I honestly had no reaction except being scared. I tried to start by walking into a few places but I was so scared and nervous of doing anything I pretty much lost all my drive.

But I decided let me at least get SOMETHING out of this, so I decided I need to visit every single venue for 5+ minutes. It was mostly me sitting around and freaking out in my head, and being completely turned off, even though there were plenty of cute girls. I did try to get one girl's number at least, but she told me "she couldn't hear me" and her friend took her away so I gave up.

I think some people throughout the various clubs saw I was really down and had low energy and they tried to cheer me up, which gave me some ephemeral boosts of energy, but no luck.

I got the entire side of one street and then walked into a crazy place with this chick standing on the bar and singing, and I thought that was awesome. I decided to just give myself permission to enjoy the show and relax instead of flipping out in my head and having a bad time. She crowd surfed back to the stage and I really just wanted to stay and enjoy this show because it looked nuts.

Once I did that, a couple of good things happened
- Random older lady noticed me and then I turned around and she said my cologne smelled really good
- I noticed a 40s-50s Japanese woman and decided to just speak a bit of Japanese to her, which did give me some boost in confidence for a bit. that even motivated me to go to the floor (I was lurking on the 2nd floor watching from above) to dance for a bit but I really was not in the mood to actually talk to any girls
- After the show, I wanted to at least end on a good note so I went up to said chick standing on the bar and singing and got a picture with her


In summary, I REALLY did not feel like hitting on girls and I was having a bad time in my head so I just wanted to do some things that would at least make me feel a little better. tbh I don't have any regrets for flopping with girls tonight because of that.

I titled this "I HATE NIGHT GAME" because even though I've tried going to bars/clubs before I started trying day game, I think I just feel more comfortable and more energetic during the day. With clubs and bars, I just hate the music sometimes, and even if I like it I just get scared by huge crowds of people, and lose a lot of my energy.
 
Well done for going out man even though it scared you

Also theres no shame in not doing night games stuff

You can build a great sex life from just the other avenues available. Andy doesnt like night time approaching either, i think most of us prefer daygame
 
I'll be honest, I didn't realize going out at night solo was a "ballsy" thing (I've done it 4 or 5 times this year, and now when I've been able to tell people, they've given me that reaction).

My initial reason for going out solo was I was too embarrassed to tell any of my friends that I was going out to bars and clubs to try to meet girls...

I'm getting over that now, but it's still just logistically easier to go out solo than have to figure out if your mates are free or whatever haha. Plus, if I do end up taking a girl back I don't need to go coordinate things with my buddies or whatever, so I still prefer going out at night solo.
 
Like 90+ percent of guys would not have the balls to go out by themselves at night. It's a ballsy thing to do. I would not be able to do it, that's for sure.

You seem to have very low inhibitions, which is a great trait when trying to get laid.
 
Felt like doing a video log before I went out today
https://streamable.com/dizswi

I drove into downtown Nashville around 2 hours before my date to do some of the Approach Anxiety program and explore by myself a bit. Got 1 set of day 6 done, and 2 reps of the 2nd set. This time I even did it while wearing a watch!

I felt really good and confident, and I even just started chatting up random strangers who were walking around. I definitely feel a lot better during the day, and I'm starting to get a real taste of social freedom. I still feel like a dog who accidentally got table droppings of social freedom, but at least I'm finally eating more than the kibble of complacency to the world. My next goal after I get laid (once) is definitely going to be grinding at becoming more socially free and dominant, rather than being an invisible vessel in the world.

Regarding the date, I called her sexy when we met and she giggled and we hugged. We hung out at the coffee shop and talked for a bit, and then I said let's get out of here. I paid for her tea. We were kind of just walking around but I got trapped in my head and didn't really make any moves to hold her hand or do any escalation.

She saw the Musicians Hall of Fame and wanted to go there so we went. She insisted on paying for our tickets so I let her pay most of it, but I got maybe 20% of it. We walked into an intro movie theater and I asked to hold her hand but she said "no it's okay" and I felt kind of dejected. So I decided to switch off and just explore the museum with her for a bit.

There was this section with some instruments and I played some of them. There was one in particular that was just a launchpad type drum machine like this:


It had two sets of headphones so I invited her to put on the other pair and join me, and we jammed out on that pad for maybe a whole hour and dancing to our beats. I was keeping the groove while she did some sound effects here and there, and sometimes she was wooing at random fills I did and swaying her hips more...god I wanted that moment to last forever. I just felt in the zone and I guess it was kind of medicine for earlier. We only stopped because an employee came up to us and said the museum was closing.

There were so many opportunities in the museum I could have done something physical but I couldn't and I was really teetering the line between having a good time and trying to make moves on her and getting stressed out. The most I was able to do is get some selfies where I pulled her into me and held her.

She had an appointment in about an hour after we left the museum so we walked around some more, mostly a repeat of earlier. I guess I'm too good of a conversationalist and terrible at advancing anything and I really don't know what to do.

I offered to drive her to her appointment and she said yeah that would be great. I also felt like at least driving through Broadway where I went last night and showing her that on the way because she kept mentioning it while we were talking when I told her about going there last night.

I also asked her if she wanted to come back to my place after her dance lesson but she declined with a "but thank you". When we reached we hugged and left with a "now you have a friend in Mexico"

I'm really mixed and confused at what I feel about this.

I feel angry and disappointed in myself that I kept pussing out and not knowing what to do to escalate things, and not being pushy enough (I have heard from Andy's podcasts and others that don't take the first rejection as a flat no, but that's basically what I did with this girl the whole time). The only hail mary I have is I could still text her and ask if she's changed her mind (her reason for declining was that she wants to hang out with her friend that she's staying with, even though they plan on hanging out tomorrow and I'm leaving Nashville tomorrow, and in retrospect I really regret not "solving that problem" and pushing her on that point).

I also feel bad that I feel bad about this because at the end of the day, I did actually have a good time with her and even though it wasn't what I wanted, it doesn't seem bad.

I really need some real talk to get me in shape. I feel like I just let the universe fuck me into complacency and then it gives me some candy to keep me from getting "out of line" again. That's what last night felt like, and that's what today felt like.
 
Things take time my guy. You won't be ultra aggressive off the get go. What you need is to accept the process it all takes time. Everything. After enough pain and struggle you'll one day look back and see how far you've come and almost laugh at where you once were.

Don't overthink what happened and punish yourself for what happened. Look at what you could've improved and go from there. Always another girl. Always another date. Keep your head up.

I am trying something new where I try to make-out with girls at the 30 min to 1 hour point in dates. Because everyone knows the end of the date it's going to happen. And if she rejects the kiss you move on. The best dates the kiss happened before the end. I remember I was playing video games with this girl and she was lying on the couch and I just kissed her. And if you tell yourself girls make no sense they will make more sense.

Anyway tomorrow is a new day try again
 
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