colgate / bulldog
Member
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2021
- Goal
- BANG!! japanese chicks!
- Age
- 27
- Motto
- consistency. acceptance. tumescence.
- Location
- tokyo, japan
from here, i have basically completed my surface level goals and mission on kyil/ww. i've gotten laid from all of the main "avenues" of game (nightgame, online, social, and now finally daygame).
i want to focus more inwards in the game community here in japan, meeting more girls, and just my real life in general. surface level internet content is stale (youtube, reddit, even most public blogs) and not representative of real life in any way whatsoever.
for example, if you decided to do internet research on whether moving to japan is a good idea, you'd likely be turned away from the miserable people complaining on r/japanlife. and japan YouTube content marketed towards foreigners is just such a misrepresentation of this place. i don't want to get into the nitty gritty details of the western internet representation of Japan and my reality here, that was just an example.
also the range of the types of people who post lost of internet content is not representative of the actual range of types of people living— i wouldn't have been able to pick game back up again and really give it another shot if it weren't for some certain wings and characters who'd never be writing long forum posts or blog entries.
everything i was doing up until this point actually was to get a daygame lay in japan with an anime looking girl. obviously, this isn't the end of the road, but i need to narrow down what the next direction and evolution of this is here. i know i'm not looking for just a normal monogamous relationship (things are actually going fairly well with my gf btw!), and i don't even have enough experience to actually have what my vision regarding girls should be going forward. but i do know whatever path i'm on, whatever hints from reality i'm getting, and the lessons the universe is currently trying to teach me are the ones that will help me continue to grow, and i'd like to fully accept and commit to it.
i also want to flush out stale habits, proclivities, and attachments from my brain. i'm naturally still drawn to internet communities (even outside of game, and actually probably moreso those ones), and after seeing firsthand how much richer life is when you're able to connect with and experience things in real time and in person, i want to push myself down that road. internet communities, especially places like here, do have their place, but it only has any meaning for me if it's rooted in reality— after all the internet is just a proxy for real life anyway.
it's more convenient and lazy to pop open my browser and let my fingers mindlessly type the usual urls i like checking out. i had blocked/significantly slowed down most of these places, but i found myself wanting to go in and check them out yesterday, so i did. i'm a sucker for nostalgia, but being in the current position i am now and peeping into these places definitely felt different than it usually does. i also decided that it's not the place i want to rejoin and actively partake in. but what i DO want to partake in, that is the big question.
regarding the winner within space, it's best if i continue to limit my exposure here. i need to treat the managing information i choose to consume like an elimination diet so i can more effectively zone into my soul. being mentally and covertly invested in other dude's stories is not good for me, especially when those dudes are living in an entirely different part of the world and in a different plane of reality. that energy needs to be redirected and reprimed.
i have certain things messages i want to send to certain groups and people, but i feel all the channels and mappings are all jumbled in my head. even the messages themselves are just packed in a big tangled mess, but if i can organize it, there's going to be a lot of good information in there. ultimately, any continuation and reinforcement of unintended diversions are a result a lack of my own rigid personal direction.
life fuckin rules!!! you only have one shot!!! pronoia! the universe is conspiring to help you!!! TAKE THE PLUNGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i want to focus more inwards in the game community here in japan, meeting more girls, and just my real life in general. surface level internet content is stale (youtube, reddit, even most public blogs) and not representative of real life in any way whatsoever.
for example, if you decided to do internet research on whether moving to japan is a good idea, you'd likely be turned away from the miserable people complaining on r/japanlife. and japan YouTube content marketed towards foreigners is just such a misrepresentation of this place. i don't want to get into the nitty gritty details of the western internet representation of Japan and my reality here, that was just an example.
also the range of the types of people who post lost of internet content is not representative of the actual range of types of people living— i wouldn't have been able to pick game back up again and really give it another shot if it weren't for some certain wings and characters who'd never be writing long forum posts or blog entries.
everything i was doing up until this point actually was to get a daygame lay in japan with an anime looking girl. obviously, this isn't the end of the road, but i need to narrow down what the next direction and evolution of this is here. i know i'm not looking for just a normal monogamous relationship (things are actually going fairly well with my gf btw!), and i don't even have enough experience to actually have what my vision regarding girls should be going forward. but i do know whatever path i'm on, whatever hints from reality i'm getting, and the lessons the universe is currently trying to teach me are the ones that will help me continue to grow, and i'd like to fully accept and commit to it.
i also want to flush out stale habits, proclivities, and attachments from my brain. i'm naturally still drawn to internet communities (even outside of game, and actually probably moreso those ones), and after seeing firsthand how much richer life is when you're able to connect with and experience things in real time and in person, i want to push myself down that road. internet communities, especially places like here, do have their place, but it only has any meaning for me if it's rooted in reality— after all the internet is just a proxy for real life anyway.
it's more convenient and lazy to pop open my browser and let my fingers mindlessly type the usual urls i like checking out. i had blocked/significantly slowed down most of these places, but i found myself wanting to go in and check them out yesterday, so i did. i'm a sucker for nostalgia, but being in the current position i am now and peeping into these places definitely felt different than it usually does. i also decided that it's not the place i want to rejoin and actively partake in. but what i DO want to partake in, that is the big question.
regarding the winner within space, it's best if i continue to limit my exposure here. i need to treat the managing information i choose to consume like an elimination diet so i can more effectively zone into my soul. being mentally and covertly invested in other dude's stories is not good for me, especially when those dudes are living in an entirely different part of the world and in a different plane of reality. that energy needs to be redirected and reprimed.
i have certain things messages i want to send to certain groups and people, but i feel all the channels and mappings are all jumbled in my head. even the messages themselves are just packed in a big tangled mess, but if i can organize it, there's going to be a lot of good information in there. ultimately, any continuation and reinforcement of unintended diversions are a result a lack of my own rigid personal direction.
life fuckin rules!!! you only have one shot!!! pronoia! the universe is conspiring to help you!!! TAKE THE PLUNGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
