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Ali's Log

ProgressEvolution said:
If my pictures are really above average and I'm average looking in the face, wouldn't I be kind of catfishing and lead to disappointment on the actual date? What have you guys' experiences been with this?

Maybe I'm overthinking this but it's like if I put "Harvard" on a resume and then they found out in was the name of a college in some random island unrelated to America. Probably not the best comparison but you get the idea.

I'm still going to follow all the steps and this doesn't impact my actions at all but it's been lingering on my mind and I'm curious what you guys' experiences have been on this.
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Perception is reality.

Pretty much every chick looks better in her photos, so they have nothing to complain about with you.

Photos are an advertisement for a product. Once the product arrives, the buyer should be so excited they forget the advertisement.

That's where Game and vibe come in.
 
ProgressEvolution said:
I'm never quitting but holy shit this is getting tough mentally lol. I'm only a week in and all that negative shit is coming to my head like:

"Your tinder profile is doomed. Even if you take a shit ton of photos, you're too ugly."
"Why even waste time taking photos if you're not photogenic?"
"Is it worth it for you to taking any pics in the meantime if you're still a few months away from your goal weight?"
"Are you even dateable?"
"You're never going to get a lay."
"How are you even going to do anything without your own place?"
"You're going to spend a shit ton of money and still be the loser you are. Just give up."
"At some point, your friend group will sense that you have something off about you if you can't even date or find a girlfriend."
"Is it even worth the time to get a lay with some random and it not lead anywhere after?"
"You're too passive. The other guys who succeeded in your city from this forum were already able to move the interaction forward in-person."
"If you're 25 and haven't really had any success, then you're probably fucked. The guys who seem to fail here usually have other obvious complications or issues that are easily fixable. You're just not wired to date."

I'm going to keep pushing no matter what but I'm honestly carrying so much mental shit as I'm doing it. The only way for it to even start tearing apart is once I start seeing some degree of success tbh. Right now, I'm literally mentally in "carry baggage and keep doing" mode.

The major aspect is that I'll be at my goal of weight of 175 pounds at 6 feet tall in literally 3-4 months tops. That's when the fashion will come in too. Right now, I'm just trying to get SOME pictures but I don't know how to bring it up with friends...there's one hang out that I planned for it and I have some idea actually that I can try...but I don't know how well it'll work. I'll have to see.

How does it feel though? It feels like I'm at the drop of a rollercoaster. The climb to the top consisted of my ego, hopes, and expectations coming into this, and now, the drop is in doing it during a period where I see no results yet. Just pure grind with no clue of outcome. Just that ambiguity and lack of feedback in terms of there being no expected outcome is eating away at me a bit. Sigh...we keep it moving.
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Dude I totally feel you on all of this. One piece of advice (kinda unsolicited, you tell me) I will give is if you have any social media or people making you feel negatively, cut that shit out IMMEDIATELY. I was a Reddit addict and a lot of guys on there give up on their lives and tell everyone else trying to get girls, get fit, get money, etc is impossible and you need to be born with these things. A lot of redditors are terminally online, they are like a tumor infecting other mentally healthy people with braindead rhetoric. An example which I think you seem to be going through is using OLD. A lot of guys say OLD does not work and is hopeless, but there are guys who crack it and do incredibly well, so work on becoming one of those guys. OLD is so brutal due to the ratio of men to women being so lopsided, so be one of the men who sticks out well.

One thing that can potentially help you, or at least I think is when you have the negative thought, explicitly acknowledge it, but then tell yourself it is not helpful or that you would rather think of something else. You can modify this approach. Hell I need to take my own advice. Another thing you can do is if you find yourself on the verge of a negative self talk episode, after the first thought go "SHUT" and do whatever you need to remind yourself that that thinking is unhelpful.

Also on the last part, Andy has clients who were virgins at 30 and lost it, so you are not fucked so long as you put in the work.

Have some easy but hardworking goals as well so you can feel a bit of satisfaction from at least completing that. Like cleaning your room or whatever.

The start is always hard as fuck. It is miserable, and where you are at is where many quit when trying to make change. Push through and little by little things get better.
 
september I never pulled to campus with any dates as I already had my own car once I began this journey. But I don't see why it would be any different and I would just pull to campus if I didn't have a car. Maybe I am a selection bias but I've found that if the girl likes me, she likes me. If she doesn't, she doesn't so logistics don't really matter that much.

I generally look young though, and I don't know if girls have different expectations from more mature looking guys. I am also weird af and would have turned the girl off already if she is the type to expect me to have my own place.

Generally though, I skimmed this log and my comments:

1) Being photogenic. I am not photogenic but thats ok because faceapp is a thing. I've never had a girl complain or comment I look different from my photos. I used to feel like I was "catfishing" but then I saw one of my normie friends who is fat use photos of himself when he was skinny 6 years ago... and this is pretty common for girls to do the same.

2) You mentioned Andy's template. Don't do it, it doesn't work anymore.

3) If you have premium, make sure you set your location to downtown, not your actual location if you live in the suburbs. The algorithm tries to match people close together as part of its consideration. I informally tested this and did notice a difference, and even if it doesn't it doesn't hurt to try.
 
ProgressEvolution said:
Thanks man. And for sure, it's the start that's rough. I've experienced the same thing with fitness, money, and even my social life.

When I was obese, I thought I'd never be able to lose weight when I was in it. When I was jobless and broke, I thought I'd never be able to make good money and save up a lot. When I cut off my friend group and isolated myself for years, I thought "I'm literally not wired to be social". And all that shit was proven wrong once I got over the initial hump and from there it was a quick rise and progression.

I feel it's likely the same with this. Right now, I'm in the hellish period. No results. It feels like change is impossible. Once I start seeing the results and making progress, that's when I feel like I can start to build momentum and start slaying and living the life when it comes dating. But currently, even though logically I'm aware that it's just a hump I need to get over, emotionally I'm in that hellish zone.

And I agree that people online have their biases. Like I saw some dude complaining about the job market and how it's impossible to find work and that we're all doomed and I couldn't relate because I'm doing great right now in terms of my career but I think it could have messed me up a bit if I was back in my jobless period and would have reinforced that negative mindset. And same shit with what you said about OLD. Because I haven't succeeded yet, I'm more easily shook by anything reinforcing that hellish lived experience
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Same here. I am actually in the same stage as you now with cold approach (well in your case OLD). I did like 3 cold approaches beginning of last year but stopped after. I started taking cold approach seriously late August and so far I have had no success. I have felt like quitting a lot, but I know I have to keep going if I want what I do. Im probably making some big mistakes and I am trying to learn as I go as well as working to lower my standards for the time being.

Your mind is getting wrapped up in self limiting beliefs. I was also just like you in the fitness category. Literally last year I hit my highest weight at 200 pounds and I was skinnyfat. My brother helped me start in the gym by coming with me and basically showing me how to do the exercises he said were good. We did this once a week for 2-3 weeks until I went to college and I basically just followed his instructions. The first few weeks of being in the gym were hard. My body was sore, i felt super insecure, I felt like a loser. Worst part is I was surrounded by pretty girls I felt like I could never have because my physique was so shit. But little by little my body got better, I lost weight, gained muscle, and just seeing that little bit of muscle definition at the end of a workout became enough motivation to keep going. So find those bits of motivation in you.

That last part is just a negative feedback loop/confirmation bias. You look for things to confirm your worldview when things are going shit. I felt insecure as fuck about my race after a string of rejections and currently I am working on not being as insecure. I see a lot of guys on Reddit saying that being Asian is a death sentence for dating (spoiler alert: its not).

Find positivity, Andy's podcast has provided me great motivation in times of need.
 
Watch playing with fire on youtube for texting/bio bro, it's good material but hard to learn.

I was basically a virgin at 27 now 14 months later been on 41 dates and slept with 13 girls
U got a 2 years head start on me and i see potentional in your looks when you can nail down an archetype and all the other looksmaxing factors.

Its all about how much effort you willing to put into this
 
jakeD said:
I mean I'm just going to come on here and say this and take it with a grain of salt cause I've fucked plenty of trash pussy in fairness.

But you have to realize I am literally broke , almost homeless. I wear pajama pants everywhere (not joking) and a old hoodie.

I'm short 5'5. 30+ years old. Not especially good looking. Not jacked. I don't work out. Have a average sized dick. I have only one testicle.

My house (basement in my house) is a smelly messy dump.

I don't even usually brush my teeth and have smelly breath.

And I have like 4+ girls right now blowing up my phone begging to fuck them in the throat and the ass. And get laid literally 24 / 7. So much that it destroys my life and almost prevents me from functioning.

My ex was also quite attractive when i met her. And I've fucked plenty of at least decent girls. And extremely kinky ones too. Like a 5'10 ex stripper.

I'm only bringing this up cause most guys are just selling themselves way too short.

If i thought like how you're thinking in this thread and accepted it, which I def have tons of times and even still do sometimes, none of that shit would have happened for me.

Maybe it's nothing to admire but I'm just making the point.

You have to learn to get that delusional self confidence and swagger and energy. And believe in yourself. And be aggressive with women too.

Instead of all this shit like "I'm not good enough, why would any chick want me"?

I mean honestly on paper, why would any chick want me for that matter?

This whole I'm not chad enough bullshit needs to stop.

Not saying to emulate any of this either but find your own version of it. And stop thinking your just some scrub that girls don't want. If you think that then it's true.
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Just a goofy side note based on some bs I have heard. Knowing some guys I feel like they would say "oh but ur white so dating is ez". Being white aint a cheatcode to dating.

A lot of dating advice seems to tell men they have to be Mr. Perfect to get laid, you don't. I know a 5ft 6 average looking indian guy who pulls and had a body count of like 5 by the age of 17.

I freaking LOVE that last part though, really motivating. Every now and then I feel like "oh i am indian with gyno I am not good enough for cute/hot girls with big butts", but thats just stupidity. I have a lot of good things about me and being indian is not a bad thing lol. I am still putting in the work, I have come a long way, now I just have to keep going.
 
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