Bedroom Escalation Resources/Guides

colgate / bulldog

colgate / bulldog

Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2021
Goal
BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age
27
Motto
consistency. acceptance. tumescence.
Location
tokyo, japan
I'd like to start this thread so we can have a collection on the best resources for bedroom escalation all in one place. I have a few resources already I've received from others, but I'd like to learn about some more.

pancakemouse had recommended me the Vin DiCarlo Escalation Ladder: https://archive.org/details/vin-di-carlo-the-di-carlo-escalation-ladder/mode/2up

Resources on escalating on initially meeting girls, and on dates, and other pre-bedroom tactics would also be greatly appreciated.

This would help me because I've recently started pulling a few girls back to my place or to some isolated place, but have had very mixed results with getting girls to do things. So I'd like to know what works and what doesn't.
 
I always have felt like how you escalate is not that important, once she agrees to come back to your place. If she is already agreeing to come over, there's a good chance she already wants to do something physical, if not sex.

I usually talk for a few minutes first, then put my arm around her or something. Assuming that goes well, I'll go for the kiss, and then it's usually smooth sailing from there. Some girls have stopped me before we actually got to sex, but that was usually due to circumstances out of my control.
 
Honestly, I have to say I'm confused by the detail some of you guys go into about escalating at your place.

On the date, I've done all sorts of things, from grabbing her tits while we make out in a bar to having a chill conversation with no innuendo or touching. But I just wrap up with "so, wanna go back to my place?"

Then I kiss her either while we're in the car together, just after she gets out of her car, or before we go in the front door. I take her straight to my room (sometimes carrying her), lay her down on the bed, and make out aggressively while feeling her up and grinding my knee into her crotch. Very often she'll be the one pulling my shirt off, and it'll progress from there. Crux is losing the socks without breaking the mood, but that's more for a sense of personal style than actual impact on the lay.

So when you guys describe elaborate excuses to get her back to your place, and then what you do once you get there other than fucking, I kinda scratch my head.

My primary hypothesis is that I'm screening harder. I don't say "let's go to my place to watch a movie / listen to music / have another drink". Just an invite to come back to my place, period. I can then take her response as carte blanche to escalate rapidly, and just get straight to business.

Secondary hypothesis is that y'all are giving off nervous vibes, which then makes her nervous and dries her up.

Tertiary hypothesis is that 1 or 2 are correct, and you're also further shooting yourselves in the foot by not reading her emotional state and checking in, so she never really gets around to relaxing.
 
Svadhishthana said:
So when you guys describe elaborate excuses to get her back to your place, and then what you do once you get there other than fucking, I kinda scratch my
Click to expand...

Define elaborate.

It's hard to comment on this because you could be talking about anyone.


I've found that girls know exactly what's up.

"Wanna come back to my place and ______"

It doesn't matter what you say it's pretty much universally accepted that your gonna go back to makeout, go down on each other, fuck, etc. Girls know exactly what your asking.

So imo it doesn't matter.

Last pull was YouTube videos,
Before that was a Netflix show we talked about.
Before that was wine
Before that was 'watch something"

They all worked.

It's an excuse to get her close on the couch, touch her, and escalate.
 
MakingAComeback said:
Can someone write it up like Manga did for his Tinder guide?
Click to expand...

Might be worth doing once I get more XP on it.
I'll share what I do now. Not that it's necessarily the best. It's just what I do...

Overall, I escalate in a way where I can gauge and feel out where the girl is at and how she responds to each escalation.

Which is sometimes brutally necessary, cuz last hookup the chick refused the makeout, and I had to spend 10-15 minutes warming her up.
So all the small steps really mattered

But the method is ggenerally:

Sit close on the couch
Put arm around her
Put her legs over mine
Rub her feet or legs
Grab her chin and tilt it towards mine for the makeout
Makeout
Put her hand behind my head
Grab her tighter during the makeout
Grab her throat
Put her hand on my chest
Put my hand on hera
Put her hand underneath my shirt
Then my hand directly underneath her shirt and bra
Pull her so she's sitting on top of me
Grab her breast again
Rub her crotch.
Take both our shirts off
Throw her down and eat her out
And ya it's gameover at that point.
 
Svadhishthana said:
Honestly, I have to say I'm confused by the detail some of you guys go into about escalating at your place.

...

So when you guys describe elaborate excuses to get her back to your place, and then what you do once you get there other than fucking, I kinda scratch my head.

My primary hypothesis is that I'm screening harder. I don't say "let's go to my place to watch a movie / listen to music / have another drink". Just an invite to come back to my place, period. I can then take her response as carte blanche to escalate rapidly, and just get straight to business.
Click to expand...

Cold approach requires a more nuanced strategy. With online, it's much more accepted that you're meeting up to feel each other out, and then go have sex. Even so, you likely lose a few marginal girls with a direct ask than you would if you softened it. If you're happy with your online volume here, no need to change anything. When I did online, I screened by doing dates directly at my place, so I didn't need to pull at all. I lost girls because of this, but I didn't care.

Now that I'm doing daygame, I'm taking the girl back to my place within 30 minutes of meeting her (instadate). If I were to say directly "let's go back to mine", I'd lose out of most of these girls. Using an excuse lowers the compliance threshold to a girl coming back with you, and then from there you're slowly inching towards increased compliance until you're having sex.

As far as colgate's original request for bedroom escalation, I don't know that there's one comprehensive guide out there, because I've found that every guy handles it in a different way, and most ways seem to work as long as they make sense. For example, I know like 10 different ways to beat "Last Minute Resistance" and I don't think any one is necessarily better than the others. Once thing I do think is missing, though, is an encouragement for guys to better read the emotional state of the girl and the underlying reason why she might be giving resistance, then overcome the objection from there.
 
Really appreciate the discussion here, especially the differences between cold approach and online pulls. I only have observations from other guys for online dates, but I can highlight that one of the differences between daygame cold approach and online is that in cold approach, you're literally approaching the general population.

There are more girls on Tinder, etc who would be more down for sex straight up.

Versus cold approach, you could literally get any type of chick to meet up, and she might not be down for doing things quickly, or even think you just want to be "friends", especially if you're still a noob like me and you still aren't great at screening. If you guys have read Andy's cold approach lay stories, many of them took multiple dates to hook up.
 
I talked about this on my log before.

0) I have no couch in my apartment. Girls and I have to sit next to each other on my bed. Sometimes they go sit in my desk chair and then I just sit on my bed and motion them to come over.
1) Pour wine, talk for a few mins, put my hand on her thigh
2) If she's okay with this, kiss her
3) Break the kiss off first, continue the smalltalk
4) Kiss again, go for the neck
5) Throw her down on the bed

And from there just let nature take its course.
 
What about escalation tips if the girl deflects the makeout initially? It's something I've been running into quite a bit recently. I'm conflicted on whether I should keep going for the makeout multiple times or if I should just keep physically escalating in other ways.

Maybe I ought to go for more bar dates and get the makeout there instead of pulling first and then getting deflected on the escalation at home. Though not every girl is over 21 and has a fake ID, and sometimes I've brought girls back from instadates that took place over e.g. bubble tea on campus, but it's so spontaneous that I'll get deflected on the makeout and nothing happens.
 
It's happened exactly twice in my life that girls who were cool with the hand-on-thigh thing, then resisted the make-out. I came up with that thigh move specifically to solve the problem of girls rejecting make-outs.

It's pretty weird to accept an intimate gesture like a hand on your upper thigh and then reject a kiss. So with those two girls things never progressed beyond that and there was no lay.

If they reject the hand-on-thigh then I just remove my hand, talk some more, drink some more wine, and try again later.

I only try twice or thrice, never more than that. I used to be very persistent years ago, but the juice is never worth the squeeze. I like it when girls are into me. So when they play hard to get like that, I just tend to (politely) kick them out, unless the conversation is pretty fun on its own.
 
colgate said:
There are more girls on Tinder, etc who would be more down for sex straight up.
Click to expand...
Yup, I think this is the exact reason why me and the others have had no problem with escalating to sex, while you seem to be met with more resistance.
 
I don't have a lot of experience to go off of but what i've done each time for the past 3 girls i've met off dating apps this past year, as well as my girlfriend years ago is basically this:

If we're sitting next to each other I start off by lightly touching the arm,

I think everyone here has different approaches because the specifics don't really matter. I think there are some no-no's perhaps such as jumping the gun and touching intimate areas too quickly without testing other less sensitive areas first, but the main thing I learned with the past 3 girls is that I just got to push things forward. My mentality is literally this when making out "Okay i'll try touching her arm...cool she was okay with that...let me try running my hand up and down her side..cool she's okay with it too..i'll try kissing her neck...cool she's okay with that.." and then I keep on going trying one thing after another, pushing myself to get more and more intimate as things move forward.

I was pretty shocked the first time I grabbed a girls boob and she was cool with it, after that I felt pretty confident moving forward and would start grabbing her ass and removing clothing. I think once you do it a few times you'll forget a lot of these resources and just do what makes sense in the moment.

I know what i'm saying might be hard to understand too because I think you overthink like I do...I chronically overthink every little detail, you can ask JaegerBombastic who is coaching me right now. I'll ask about way too many details. But after you do it a few times, you get this sense of what's okay and not okay and it gives you a flexible way of approaching these situations.

I know this might not be what you were looking for so i'll give you a resource I think is good for all sex/bedroom stuff in general that had the last girl (Not lay #3 on my log but #1 (the black girl)) calling me a sexual beast even though i've had only 1 partner before her.

The book is called "Sex God Method" by Daniel Rose. The main thing to takeaway from it at least for me as an over-thinker was to let go of trying to do anything in particular and connect with my primal lust feelings. Which is hard for me but when I do, the sex is just better. I think this works in conjunction with Andy's mentality of saying in your head on a date "I want you" repeatedly. Holy shit was this such a good mentality for me to go after my desires.

So yeah, hope this helps. Also I'm probably the least experienced here so take what I say with a grain of salt.
 
Squilliam said:
I always have felt like how you escalate is not that important, once she agrees to come back to your place. If she is already agreeing to come over, there's a good chance she already wants to do something physical, if not sex.
Click to expand...
This has been my experience as well. If you're unsure, the motto should be "just do something to move things forward". Usually I start off by touching her hand or her thigh.

You don't even have to give any reason reason at all, you can just do it and keep talking like normal. If you feel the urge, you can say something "let me see your hand" or "ah, let me see your bracelet/rings/nails/tattoo" and just grab it.

From there a few minutes later I might pull her in, touch her neck a bit, then turn her head towards me and go in for a kiss. From there either escalate all the way to sex or pull back and chat a few minutes more, then make out again, more touching, kissing/biting neck/ear etc. Take her to the bedroom or if you're already there pin her down on the bed.

colgate said:
What about escalation tips if the girl deflects the makeout initially? It's something I've been running into quite a bit recently. I'm conflicted on whether I should keep going for the makeout multiple times or if I should just keep physically escalating in other ways.
Click to expand...
I don't have a lot of experience with this, since it only happened once. She was cool with biting the neck/ear and basically everything but making out.

I would say yes to "keep physically escalating in other ways", if she is down with that of course.

If she just rejected your kiss once, I would just chill back, talk a bit more and then try again later.
 
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