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Brandon Builds - Conversation with the ex-wife
- Thread starter Bman
- Start date
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Update - 2 Months in Denver
Hey gents. Here’s an update of my van adventures and what I have been up to the last couple months since departing from ATX. Currently writing this at the park with my shirt off taking in those sunny rays because don’t you know that’s what all the cool kids on the forums are doing.
Direction & Goals
After having left one lifestyle for another, basically hit the reset button on a social and dating life, and being given a ton of room for self reflection, I’ve had many personal revelations.
When I first started van life it was just to wander, to explore other places, to feel other cities and cultures. However after visiting with the ex wife when I reached Denver, I realized that this first portion of my trip was to close open loops. These open loops were thoughts about the decisions I had made up till now in my life and how they have affected me and my relationships with others. It also feels like giving myself 100 percent permission to really do and be my own person.
The other half of that has been evaluating what it is I want in life and am I on track to get that. I had the opportunity to spend some time with Zug while I was in Denver. I personally enjoy spending time with those older than me. It gives me windows into the future. Though his comments were not directed at me, he spoke of peter pan syndrome, and it made me contemplate where I may have not grown up in my goals.
Rather than go on tangent of explaining my thinking, I’m just going to drop these here from the other thread started by Vamos. I know these are different than many peoples goals, so if you’d like to know the reasoning behind one, feel free to ask.
Goals:
After having reflected on these, my van adventures no longer were about wandering, but have turned into finding a place I want to lay down roots and build community. To have a place to actually call home, a concept that I have never really known.
Right now, I know that place must have:
I also found a network of van life communities that were started by a VC and other van lifers. They have been going since 2019, have five communities along the west coast, and are expanding to several states in the next few years. What's cool is they do fractionalized ownership, where you can invest in future communities and earn a return, so its helping those van lifers earn equity like traditional home ownership. I plan on getting in touch with their team because they need people with skills like community building, content creation, and ones that most people don’t have, design and building skills. I just happen to be someone with all those. May be an opportunity for me to acquire land wherever I decide to lay roots. If nothing else, I’ll be a part of a network of land in multiple states that I can travel between.
Girls
As I mentioned before, I was not really worried about getting laid that much while I was here. I honestly needed a break. I went to one BDSM event here but did not get into the scene at all otherwise. Again I needed a break.
However, after a while my high libido started to become distractingly annoying. I went on one date from Feeld and it was terrible. Girl was a little pretentious and judgmental, it was big turn off, and our date got cut short anyways. I didn’t pursue further.
As observed from my last post, I wanted to start cold approaching again. However, its really less about getting laid from it and more about overcoming any anxiety/fear around it and gaining the last confidence & charisma points. While volume was really low at times, some days going out and getting 0 for my time spent, I say I made progress towards that goal. I got some numbers and was supposed to have a date, but the girl had to reschedule, then got cold feet, and I tried to push it and found out she wants more of a relationship and I was leaving in a few weeks.
Towards the end of this month I was getting extremely fucking horny (for those lamenting about a low libido, sometimes the opposite is a nuisance, too) so I download Tinder. To my surprise, it did very well matching with a good amount of attractive women, including a few “top picks” from time to time. Since its been a while and it’s helpful for those trying to build out their profile, here’s what I’m currently running. Obviously, I’m someone who beats the preselection horse all the time, but I think they help out a lot. Shout out to @MILFandCookies for helping me get the photography one.
Now although I was accruing matches, it was damn near impossible to get these girls on a date. It was so hard to calibrate, too, because it was not like I was losing them all at one stage in the funnel. Every girl seemed to drop off at a different stage. All the way up to even having a couple girls scheduled for a date, and then them getting cold feet just like the cold approach girl and canceling the day before. Funny enough this not only happened on Tinder, but FetLife, too. I’ll elaborate more on what I observed about the girls in the Tips on Denver section.
Now while I didn’t WANT this to happen, and it was pretty fucking annoying, it may have been what I NEEDED. It gave me more time to reflect what I wanted out of dating and to make sure I was acting out of accordance with my goals and values.
Before we get into them, these are rules I’ve set for myself. Not for you. Freedom is not having no rules at all. Freedom is the ability to set your own rules for what you believe will be the best for your life. With that preamble, Here’s some reflections I had:
After having these reflections, I contacted my harem from Austin and just checked in on them. They all loved it and if felt good for me too. Still hopeful to fly Bumble Girl out to me when I’m in Seattle. We’ll see.
I also had a date lined up last week, but instead I canceled on her. I’m only here for another week and she’s a traveling nurse. We probably would have had sex twice, tops. Pretty much ONS zone. Wasn’t worth it, even though my libido is telling me to go fuck anything that has a vagina.
Short side note: My FetLife is reaching 300 friends and 300 followers (which are different people). That combined with having curated my images from boudoir shoots, preselection photos, and a couple shirtless ones, and having a novel of a bio, has made it pretty easy to slide in DMs. Furthermore, I’m still getting girls occasionally reaching out to me, even in the new cities were I have no circle yet. Its possible that when you search under a city, the people with high friends/followers/engagement are shown first and 300 in the FL world is def top 10%. Top 1% is like 30000, because it’s an exponential curve.
Adventures in Denver
While in Denver, I’ve done small experiences on the weekends and when I wasn’t working or day gaming. It’s been a lot of fun.
Here’s some things I have done:
I had a coffee and strategize chat with one of the girls from the meetup later. She is also an education nonprofit founder. She is cute, but unfortunately was married. However, once you learn game, you get to decide when to turn it on or off. I decided even though we were not going to act on it, it would be fun to flirt anyways. We had a moment when chatting where we both stopped talking, I locked eyes with her, slowed my breath, and just held eye contact without showing any sign of discomfort. She blushed hard, smiled, and had to look away and start talking to break the silence. After that she was on the edge of her chair and leaned towards me the rest of the interaction. She’s going to email me some resources later and I’ll throw her my IG so she can “follow my adventures”. Never hurts to have admirers.
I also spent a few weekends hanging out with the ex wife. She did a couple of the adventures above with me and we also went and seen Dune 2. It was nice spending time with a girl I was not trying to fuck the whole time but had deep rapport with. The day we went hiking at the glacier, it was like old times, with me leading and having her help me with small tasks. There was a recent weekend I went over to pick up something I had delivered to her place and I just emotionally supported her and gave her some space to vent and then come up with a plan for a major life situation she was going through. It was also the last time I’d be seeing her while I was here in Denver. The sexual tension was palatable. But again, not fair to either of us, especially because I know I don’t want that kind of relationship with her. So I left her with a hug and we’d stay in touch, and if either needed anything, to let the other know.
Lastly, I just returned from seeing some family in Nebraska for the weekend. I visited one of my aunts on my mom’s side, my uncle, and cousins. It was actually really great. I’m not going to delve into my entire family history, but the short version is my dad’s side is largely dark triad traits and toxic, and my mom’s side has a lot of family, but its so broken from trauma, sexual abuse, and physical abuse. So my mom kept us away from all that and because I was an only child with a single mom, I pretty much grew up a lone wolf. I’ve never really valued family; however, this particular aunt is the one family member who made an effort, doesnt judge, supports, and overall is good human being despite her own childhood trauma. She’s definitely of the what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger variety like myself. So I’ve stayed in touch.
It was great to visit and experience the small town culture. Her husband is just a stand up guy; he gave his baseball glove to some dad who did not have one when we were at the softball tournament, and went and helped a neighbor change a tire who broke down a few miles from the house right while we were in the middle of cooking dinner. They live on a feed lot and farm that he manages. Though they are not hardcore traditional by any means, you can still feel the values of that life, such as a focus on family and respect for roles. And there was just a whole lot of love and happiness in that family. It was wonderful to be able to say I adamantly don’t want that, but I can appreciate and admire its beauty.
It also gave me some reflections on my childhood, and things that have developed through nature or nurture. Something interesting, I think part of my dominant and masculine personality may have come from interactions with the mexican and peruvian family on my mom’s side. I can’t speak for latin culture outside of the US because I’m unfamiliar, but at least for those in America, respect is huge. Specifically, respect for men for being men and what they provide to their families. By no surprise, respect is huge for me too. So much so, to feel loved, I need to feel respected too. I will do a lot to earn respect, because its not something you can demand. I also don’t tolerate being disrespected. Dominance has a lot to do with respect and being worthy of that respect. I think I shunned that side of myself for a long time though because I also saw these men being macho - demanding respect when they had not earned it and instead cause multiple children and family members real, severe trauma. My mom and her sisters were abused, and her brother committed suicide. I had so many bad examples of masculinity, no wonder it took me so long to decipher this shit for myself.
After I left, my aunt texted me thanking me coming to visit, that the whole family admires and finds me to be an inspiration, and that it helped here heal some mental wounds regarding family.
Tips on Denver
This is not going to be a robust guide as I didn’t go hard here in Denver in terms of dating, rather, it will be a few tips and observations in case you want to.
The Kink Scene
From what I could tell from FetLife and only attending one event, so take it with a grain of salt, is that the community here is even more gatekept and clicky than Austin was. While that may seem bad, it actually makes it ripe for running the same playbook I did for Austin. If I were staying here for a year, I would absolutely do so.
It looks like there are three major groups and a couple kink clubs/spaces that are the equivalent of country club with really high admission prices.There is also a social circle here that holds exclusive parties. That social circle includes a top 1% FetLife profile of this really hot, 6 ft amazonian, heavily tatted, bi, alt girl. I was talking with her when I was in ATX to setup doing photos but then just failed to follow-up and got distracted with other stuff. Rookie mistake on my part because the other girls in that girls in that social circle, who she fucks at these events, were hot too. Lesson learned, on to a new town.
If you’re into hotwifes, couples, being a bull, the city is ripe for you. It’s a large portion of what you’ll find on Feeld.
Archetype
Despite doing well in terms of matches and engagement on Tinder, I don’t think the variation of my archetype jives well here. I say that because many girls were hesitant to give out their phone number, hesitant to meet up for a date, and for the kink girls, hesitant to give their real names. I ALWAYS got their real name. I’ve never had resistance to that, even before I was really known. It was also the first time I’ve had a girl ask why my profile was not verified on Tinder. I had a few girls on both FetLife and Tinder OPEN ME, be pretty direct with me, and then the minute I go to set the date, their feet turn to fucking ice cubes. I had another girl that I set the time and the place, then she asked if we could go to some other bar which looked like crap, and I told her I’d rather the one I chose. Then poof, nothing. The resistance of these girls was wild. Of course I got the “I’ve had bad experiences in the past” comment a few times and all I could think is what the hell are these Denver boys doing to these girls.
So either my game sucked, my archetype was not trustworthy enough for this city, or just wasn’t a great match. I don’t know. Honestly, I didn’t care enough to decipher. If I was staying here long term I would adapt and be fine.
What I will say is if you are really into mountain biking, hiking, and rock climbing, an outdoorsy, professional, and just have a little bit of edge to you (but not toooooo much) you’d probably slay here. You must be in shape though, like really good shape. A good majority of the women here are athletic, slim, and petite because of the previously mentioned activities. A good majority are middle class or upper middle class. Personality wise, people don’t seem to be as open or friendly as compared to Austin. Certainly not as diverse in culture.
Daygame
I only DG in Denver and not any of the surrounding cities like Boulder.
The quality spots I found were:
The end of this week I leave for Spokane, the old city I grew up in. On the agenda:
Hey gents. Here’s an update of my van adventures and what I have been up to the last couple months since departing from ATX. Currently writing this at the park with my shirt off taking in those sunny rays because don’t you know that’s what all the cool kids on the forums are doing.
Direction & Goals
After having left one lifestyle for another, basically hit the reset button on a social and dating life, and being given a ton of room for self reflection, I’ve had many personal revelations.
When I first started van life it was just to wander, to explore other places, to feel other cities and cultures. However after visiting with the ex wife when I reached Denver, I realized that this first portion of my trip was to close open loops. These open loops were thoughts about the decisions I had made up till now in my life and how they have affected me and my relationships with others. It also feels like giving myself 100 percent permission to really do and be my own person.
The other half of that has been evaluating what it is I want in life and am I on track to get that. I had the opportunity to spend some time with Zug while I was in Denver. I personally enjoy spending time with those older than me. It gives me windows into the future. Though his comments were not directed at me, he spoke of peter pan syndrome, and it made me contemplate where I may have not grown up in my goals.
Rather than go on tangent of explaining my thinking, I’m just going to drop these here from the other thread started by Vamos. I know these are different than many peoples goals, so if you’d like to know the reasoning behind one, feel free to ask.
Goals:
- Poly; 2-3 LTR's with the freedom for the occasional ONS when the tension is there with a girl I meet, possibly having one of those LTR's be live in, but most likely not.
- No kids
- Own a piece of land in a sunny state, build a tiny home, and still have the camper van
- Pursuing my PhD and building my non-profit
- Being active in my community, volunteering and participating in politics
- Being active and well known in the kink scene of that area
After having reflected on these, my van adventures no longer were about wandering, but have turned into finding a place I want to lay down roots and build community. To have a place to actually call home, a concept that I have never really known.
Right now, I know that place must have:
- Sun for 80% or more time of the year
- A melting pot of cultures, with open minded, progressive, non judgmental people
- A city of around 1 million or more people
I also found a network of van life communities that were started by a VC and other van lifers. They have been going since 2019, have five communities along the west coast, and are expanding to several states in the next few years. What's cool is they do fractionalized ownership, where you can invest in future communities and earn a return, so its helping those van lifers earn equity like traditional home ownership. I plan on getting in touch with their team because they need people with skills like community building, content creation, and ones that most people don’t have, design and building skills. I just happen to be someone with all those. May be an opportunity for me to acquire land wherever I decide to lay roots. If nothing else, I’ll be a part of a network of land in multiple states that I can travel between.
Girls
As I mentioned before, I was not really worried about getting laid that much while I was here. I honestly needed a break. I went to one BDSM event here but did not get into the scene at all otherwise. Again I needed a break.
However, after a while my high libido started to become distractingly annoying. I went on one date from Feeld and it was terrible. Girl was a little pretentious and judgmental, it was big turn off, and our date got cut short anyways. I didn’t pursue further.
As observed from my last post, I wanted to start cold approaching again. However, its really less about getting laid from it and more about overcoming any anxiety/fear around it and gaining the last confidence & charisma points. While volume was really low at times, some days going out and getting 0 for my time spent, I say I made progress towards that goal. I got some numbers and was supposed to have a date, but the girl had to reschedule, then got cold feet, and I tried to push it and found out she wants more of a relationship and I was leaving in a few weeks.
Towards the end of this month I was getting extremely fucking horny (for those lamenting about a low libido, sometimes the opposite is a nuisance, too) so I download Tinder. To my surprise, it did very well matching with a good amount of attractive women, including a few “top picks” from time to time. Since its been a while and it’s helpful for those trying to build out their profile, here’s what I’m currently running. Obviously, I’m someone who beats the preselection horse all the time, but I think they help out a lot. Shout out to @MILFandCookies for helping me get the photography one.
Now although I was accruing matches, it was damn near impossible to get these girls on a date. It was so hard to calibrate, too, because it was not like I was losing them all at one stage in the funnel. Every girl seemed to drop off at a different stage. All the way up to even having a couple girls scheduled for a date, and then them getting cold feet just like the cold approach girl and canceling the day before. Funny enough this not only happened on Tinder, but FetLife, too. I’ll elaborate more on what I observed about the girls in the Tips on Denver section.
Now while I didn’t WANT this to happen, and it was pretty fucking annoying, it may have been what I NEEDED. It gave me more time to reflect what I wanted out of dating and to make sure I was acting out of accordance with my goals and values.
Before we get into them, these are rules I’ve set for myself. Not for you. Freedom is not having no rules at all. Freedom is the ability to set your own rules for what you believe will be the best for your life. With that preamble, Here’s some reflections I had:
- If I say I want LTR’s as stated in my goals above, then I need to prioritize that as I’m dating. For me, that means screening for that potential from the beginning. I’ve always operated from the belief that how you start the relationship sets a frame for the rest of it.
- I will not sleep with a girl on the first date. I will at least sleep on it and wait till the next day. I’ve already proven to myself I can pull in as quick as 15min if I wanted, doesn’t mean I ought to. There’s been times I’ve even said in the date report that if this girl was not going home with me that night, I was not giving her a second date. I only found her intriguing enough and I was horny enough to sleep with her right then. But then after doing so, I already knew I did not want to see her long term. That’s not fair to either of us. I also know that I build deep emotional rapport with these girls, and even if they know and agree its casual, it still hurts them when I drop them for another girl in the harem. That’s not fair to them either. “But all is fair in love and war.” Yeah, I don’t operate that way. Seriously, what is one more day for me to wait and evaluate if this girl is actually worth me putting my dick into? Funny. I finally get what it means to turn the tables and have a girl qualify to get my dick. To be the prize.
- Within reason, I’ll avoid ONS. Yes I want to have sex, but these are so unfulfilling for me. This means as I move cities, I’m aiming to setup flings for my duration in that city at the beginning of that duration.
- For those girls I REALLY click with, I will make effort to stay in touch emotionally and revisit if warranted.
After having these reflections, I contacted my harem from Austin and just checked in on them. They all loved it and if felt good for me too. Still hopeful to fly Bumble Girl out to me when I’m in Seattle. We’ll see.
I also had a date lined up last week, but instead I canceled on her. I’m only here for another week and she’s a traveling nurse. We probably would have had sex twice, tops. Pretty much ONS zone. Wasn’t worth it, even though my libido is telling me to go fuck anything that has a vagina.
Short side note: My FetLife is reaching 300 friends and 300 followers (which are different people). That combined with having curated my images from boudoir shoots, preselection photos, and a couple shirtless ones, and having a novel of a bio, has made it pretty easy to slide in DMs. Furthermore, I’m still getting girls occasionally reaching out to me, even in the new cities were I have no circle yet. Its possible that when you search under a city, the people with high friends/followers/engagement are shown first and 300 in the FL world is def top 10%. Top 1% is like 30000, because it’s an exponential curve.
Adventures in Denver
While in Denver, I’ve done small experiences on the weekends and when I wasn’t working or day gaming. It’s been a lot of fun.
Here’s some things I have done:
- Went to Meow Wolf, the huge art/light installation. The artist has other installations in other cities.
- Went to the Denver Art Museum, not for the art per se, but rather because it was designed by Daniel Libeskind, a famous architect.
- Saw Amon Armoth & Cannibal Corpse at Red Rocks Amphitheatre and hiked around Red Rocks.
- Hiked the Garden of the Gods
- Hiked to the top of St. Mary’s Glacier
I had a coffee and strategize chat with one of the girls from the meetup later. She is also an education nonprofit founder. She is cute, but unfortunately was married. However, once you learn game, you get to decide when to turn it on or off. I decided even though we were not going to act on it, it would be fun to flirt anyways. We had a moment when chatting where we both stopped talking, I locked eyes with her, slowed my breath, and just held eye contact without showing any sign of discomfort. She blushed hard, smiled, and had to look away and start talking to break the silence. After that she was on the edge of her chair and leaned towards me the rest of the interaction. She’s going to email me some resources later and I’ll throw her my IG so she can “follow my adventures”. Never hurts to have admirers.
I also spent a few weekends hanging out with the ex wife. She did a couple of the adventures above with me and we also went and seen Dune 2. It was nice spending time with a girl I was not trying to fuck the whole time but had deep rapport with. The day we went hiking at the glacier, it was like old times, with me leading and having her help me with small tasks. There was a recent weekend I went over to pick up something I had delivered to her place and I just emotionally supported her and gave her some space to vent and then come up with a plan for a major life situation she was going through. It was also the last time I’d be seeing her while I was here in Denver. The sexual tension was palatable. But again, not fair to either of us, especially because I know I don’t want that kind of relationship with her. So I left her with a hug and we’d stay in touch, and if either needed anything, to let the other know.
Lastly, I just returned from seeing some family in Nebraska for the weekend. I visited one of my aunts on my mom’s side, my uncle, and cousins. It was actually really great. I’m not going to delve into my entire family history, but the short version is my dad’s side is largely dark triad traits and toxic, and my mom’s side has a lot of family, but its so broken from trauma, sexual abuse, and physical abuse. So my mom kept us away from all that and because I was an only child with a single mom, I pretty much grew up a lone wolf. I’ve never really valued family; however, this particular aunt is the one family member who made an effort, doesnt judge, supports, and overall is good human being despite her own childhood trauma. She’s definitely of the what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger variety like myself. So I’ve stayed in touch.
It was great to visit and experience the small town culture. Her husband is just a stand up guy; he gave his baseball glove to some dad who did not have one when we were at the softball tournament, and went and helped a neighbor change a tire who broke down a few miles from the house right while we were in the middle of cooking dinner. They live on a feed lot and farm that he manages. Though they are not hardcore traditional by any means, you can still feel the values of that life, such as a focus on family and respect for roles. And there was just a whole lot of love and happiness in that family. It was wonderful to be able to say I adamantly don’t want that, but I can appreciate and admire its beauty.
It also gave me some reflections on my childhood, and things that have developed through nature or nurture. Something interesting, I think part of my dominant and masculine personality may have come from interactions with the mexican and peruvian family on my mom’s side. I can’t speak for latin culture outside of the US because I’m unfamiliar, but at least for those in America, respect is huge. Specifically, respect for men for being men and what they provide to their families. By no surprise, respect is huge for me too. So much so, to feel loved, I need to feel respected too. I will do a lot to earn respect, because its not something you can demand. I also don’t tolerate being disrespected. Dominance has a lot to do with respect and being worthy of that respect. I think I shunned that side of myself for a long time though because I also saw these men being macho - demanding respect when they had not earned it and instead cause multiple children and family members real, severe trauma. My mom and her sisters were abused, and her brother committed suicide. I had so many bad examples of masculinity, no wonder it took me so long to decipher this shit for myself.
After I left, my aunt texted me thanking me coming to visit, that the whole family admires and finds me to be an inspiration, and that it helped here heal some mental wounds regarding family.
Tips on Denver
This is not going to be a robust guide as I didn’t go hard here in Denver in terms of dating, rather, it will be a few tips and observations in case you want to.
The Kink Scene
From what I could tell from FetLife and only attending one event, so take it with a grain of salt, is that the community here is even more gatekept and clicky than Austin was. While that may seem bad, it actually makes it ripe for running the same playbook I did for Austin. If I were staying here for a year, I would absolutely do so.
It looks like there are three major groups and a couple kink clubs/spaces that are the equivalent of country club with really high admission prices.There is also a social circle here that holds exclusive parties. That social circle includes a top 1% FetLife profile of this really hot, 6 ft amazonian, heavily tatted, bi, alt girl. I was talking with her when I was in ATX to setup doing photos but then just failed to follow-up and got distracted with other stuff. Rookie mistake on my part because the other girls in that girls in that social circle, who she fucks at these events, were hot too. Lesson learned, on to a new town.
If you’re into hotwifes, couples, being a bull, the city is ripe for you. It’s a large portion of what you’ll find on Feeld.
Archetype
Despite doing well in terms of matches and engagement on Tinder, I don’t think the variation of my archetype jives well here. I say that because many girls were hesitant to give out their phone number, hesitant to meet up for a date, and for the kink girls, hesitant to give their real names. I ALWAYS got their real name. I’ve never had resistance to that, even before I was really known. It was also the first time I’ve had a girl ask why my profile was not verified on Tinder. I had a few girls on both FetLife and Tinder OPEN ME, be pretty direct with me, and then the minute I go to set the date, their feet turn to fucking ice cubes. I had another girl that I set the time and the place, then she asked if we could go to some other bar which looked like crap, and I told her I’d rather the one I chose. Then poof, nothing. The resistance of these girls was wild. Of course I got the “I’ve had bad experiences in the past” comment a few times and all I could think is what the hell are these Denver boys doing to these girls.
So either my game sucked, my archetype was not trustworthy enough for this city, or just wasn’t a great match. I don’t know. Honestly, I didn’t care enough to decipher. If I was staying here long term I would adapt and be fine.
What I will say is if you are really into mountain biking, hiking, and rock climbing, an outdoorsy, professional, and just have a little bit of edge to you (but not toooooo much) you’d probably slay here. You must be in shape though, like really good shape. A good majority of the women here are athletic, slim, and petite because of the previously mentioned activities. A good majority are middle class or upper middle class. Personality wise, people don’t seem to be as open or friendly as compared to Austin. Certainly not as diverse in culture.
Daygame
I only DG in Denver and not any of the surrounding cities like Boulder.
The quality spots I found were:
- The RiNo district near The Denver Central Market: Best to go Fri, Sat, or Sun afternoon. It has decent foot traffic and easy to instadate them because of all the bars, coffeeshops, and little restaurants or food trucks there.
- The Cherry Creek Mall: I did the best here. It has a lot of high end stores like Louis Vutton but also middle class ones like Urban Outfitters. I dressed up a little with black button down and gold jewelry when I went here. Any day works in the evening.
- The downtown university campuses: There are several colleges and universities that share the same campus downtown. Full of college girls during the day. I didn’t game here much as I’m still calibrating my appearance and best way to walk around on campus, because my look is a little hard for a college campus.
- Downtown along and near 16th street mall: You’re going to walk a lot to get enough volume, but there are sets throughout the streets around here. Mostly professionals, so be prepared to be blown out. However I had some real quality conversations and interactions here, too. But I also do just fine with mature, professional women on the apps, so your mileage may vary.
The end of this week I leave for Spokane, the old city I grew up in. On the agenda:
- Visiting my mom, closing open loops
- Visiting my dad, closing open loops
- Attending a wedding of one of the men in my men’s group
- Visiting couple guys in my men’s group, deepening our connection
- Visiting old friends, closing open loops
- Probably setting up vasectomy for when I visit Seattle
- Practicing Shibari. I started learning in my free time here in Denver. My brain is picking it up quickly. I’ve never really been drawn to doing shibari, but after having started learning, I think I’m going to enjoy it just for mastering a skill. Plus, as both Zug and I have mentioned, riggers punch waaaaay above their weightclass in SMV. So if I combine that with being a leader in the community and photography, I think it will slide me right into the top. I also think it will be a great way to escalate at events, because of the inherent touching in the activity.
- Getting back into the scene. I had enough break. I’ve already contacted a hot girl in the scene there who is pretty active. She’s giving me the rundown on all the groups, events, people to know. She’s into the heavy edge play stuff, so we are not going to match up kink wise, but great to already have an in with a hot and respected girl there.
- Running my munch. I skipped mentioning earlier that my munch in Austin has been flourishing and is still going. Plan on setting one up in Spokane and Seattle while I’m there and basically creating a network.
- Running the professional meetup. Going to give this one a go again and continue to iron out the logistics for making it successful.
- Try and setup some shoots. I’ve reflected on where I want my style to go for the photography. As said before, I don’t care to make porn. I matched with sex worker here in Denver and she wanted to pay me to get some photos done. She didn’t want to budget for the price I pitched so it didn’t happen. However, I discovered the style I want to start doing, which is high end, elegant nudes. Also, I’m going to make it clear on my profile that the only way you can work with me is through collabs, not paid. That means I get to be picky, it’s more exclusive, and with time, it will hold more weight in terms of status. Already in works of setting up a shoot with a girl in Spokane.
- Have 2 dates setup for when I get there. Will setup up more.
- I think Spokane is going to be way to low volume for day gaming and I may have to put that on hold till Seattle. However, there are events and stuff happening all the time, so I won’t make that an excuse not to do it. I’ll get it in while I can.
- Doing some exploring of WA in areas I never went to growing up and adding to my van adventures.
Spider Jerusalem
Member
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2021
Holden
Member
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2021
The rigger thing is extremely true. I have no aptitude for that stuff at all, I don't think it's fun nor sexy, but damnit you see these riggers absolutely kill it on Fetlife.
I think it's because being tied up is one of the greatest fantasies of girls in general, but also of course the preselection of having all these girls tied up & photographed on your profile.
As I'm getting older I'm considering my options/plan of action to stay in the market and getting into rigging (even though I hate it - maybe I'll learn to love it) is definitely on the list.
I think it's because being tied up is one of the greatest fantasies of girls in general, but also of course the preselection of having all these girls tied up & photographed on your profile.
As I'm getting older I'm considering my options/plan of action to stay in the market and getting into rigging (even though I hate it - maybe I'll learn to love it) is definitely on the list.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
100%. I also think its a perceived indicator of competence/intelligence. It's not actually as complicated as I perceived it though. Even the suspension stuff, it's just more dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. But learning a handful of knots unlocks a 80-90% of ties. When I saw that, I figured it'd be worth my time.
Hilarious side note: I suspended my own leg in the back of the van to test out a tie. Was a comical sight.
I didn't really think I would be into it either. But the course I was learning from showed how a specific tie could be used in various sexual situations and I was like, "ok, that would be pretty useful." It's so versatile. They show a few harness/rope dress ties and I thought about how I could have a one of my girls tied like that and go to a party, basically putting preselection on steroids because she's now showcasing my rigging skills + skills with women.
This site is pretty technical and a bit dry, but very expansive - https://www.theduchy.com/
The one I learned from first was - https://kinkyevents.co.uk/community/sinful-shibari/
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Just got to WA on Sunday. Already have a date for Thursday, setting up another, and two more girls I'm confident the number is coming in my DM's soon. Feels good to be back in business.
What I really came to ask, though, is what does a healthy relationship look like with your father when you're an adult?
I feel autistic asking this, but I have a very crude of mental model of what this looks like and almost zero real life examples to look at.
I visited my father yesterday and he seems extremely genuine that he has changed his behaviors since I was a child, wants to be an adamant part of my life, and is willing to go above and beyond to make an effort which I do really appreciate. He said we can build whatever level of relationship that I want - and that's the problem. I have no idea what I want. I don't really want anything - and I say that not in negative sense, but in a peaceful one.
I explained that I'm so self sufficient that I don't necessarily need him, whenever a problem occurs my first instinct is to figure it out myself, for everything. I told him that family is not a value of mine because family was not around the entire time I was growing up. I don't hold any grudges or resentment towards any of them, I just don't interact with them because some are toxic and the others I hardly know at all. Growing up it was just my mother and I, and she worked full time and overtime to support us, so she was not around all the time either. It was just me.
I won't delve into all of my past that I've had with my father here, but I don't hold and resentment towards him at all anymore. Mostly because I've matured and understand life now having gone through my own dozens of shitstorms. Now I'm just more neutral towards him. Love him and wish the best for him, but it's not like I've been going out of my way to text, call, or see him. I just have no motivation to.
I do think it would benefit me to have a more inclusive relationship with my father; however, I could use some help understanding what the benefits are. I am committing to seeing him once a week while I am here for the two months to explore this.
What does a healthy relationship look like with your father when you're an adult?
What do you get out of the relationship with your father?
What do you get out of the relationship with your family members in general?
(I'm probably asking the wrong forums because I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say a lot of guys here probably have crappy relationships with their fathers. It's a societal level problem, but even more so I bet with the guys attracted here.)
What I really came to ask, though, is what does a healthy relationship look like with your father when you're an adult?
I feel autistic asking this, but I have a very crude of mental model of what this looks like and almost zero real life examples to look at.
I visited my father yesterday and he seems extremely genuine that he has changed his behaviors since I was a child, wants to be an adamant part of my life, and is willing to go above and beyond to make an effort which I do really appreciate. He said we can build whatever level of relationship that I want - and that's the problem. I have no idea what I want. I don't really want anything - and I say that not in negative sense, but in a peaceful one.
I explained that I'm so self sufficient that I don't necessarily need him, whenever a problem occurs my first instinct is to figure it out myself, for everything. I told him that family is not a value of mine because family was not around the entire time I was growing up. I don't hold any grudges or resentment towards any of them, I just don't interact with them because some are toxic and the others I hardly know at all. Growing up it was just my mother and I, and she worked full time and overtime to support us, so she was not around all the time either. It was just me.
I won't delve into all of my past that I've had with my father here, but I don't hold and resentment towards him at all anymore. Mostly because I've matured and understand life now having gone through my own dozens of shitstorms. Now I'm just more neutral towards him. Love him and wish the best for him, but it's not like I've been going out of my way to text, call, or see him. I just have no motivation to.
I do think it would benefit me to have a more inclusive relationship with my father; however, I could use some help understanding what the benefits are. I am committing to seeing him once a week while I am here for the two months to explore this.
What does a healthy relationship look like with your father when you're an adult?
What do you get out of the relationship with your father?
What do you get out of the relationship with your family members in general?
(I'm probably asking the wrong forums because I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say a lot of guys here probably have crappy relationships with their fathers. It's a societal level problem, but even more so I bet with the guys attracted here.)
Adrizzle
Member
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2021
I wanna say some airy answer about it being whatever you want it to be. I feel like if you don’t want the relationship you don’t need the relationship.
My views of my father - a trusted person who will always act for my best interests. Someone who I’ve learnt what to do and what not to do from.
I know the sacrifices my parents have made for me. It is proof that they will always do what they think is best for me. Sometimes this is right for me and sometimes this is wrong. The times they have been “wrong” have just made me understand that they are humans trying to do their best. (When they pushed me into uni, terrible fucking move, they came from India and there it was a good move). As I get older I feel like I’m just Mum and Dad at the same time.
I have Dads attention to detail, perfectionism, goofiness, he taught me to build shit, hard work, that you can push yourself, that shit isn’t going to be easy.
Seeing him drink and talking too much shit also made me never want to do that. I hardly drink and I become super aware of my speech when I am drunk. He’s very logical and likes to flex about the things he knows and the things he’s done. I think it’s egotistical so I go the other way.
I see family is people I can trust with my life, assets, everything like I know they won’t take it from me and even if they do it kinda feels like it’s still mine? (Not sure if that makes sense). A tribe. I have friends that I feel this way about too. It’s like all their wins are my wins too.
The relationship with my dad gets me access to his assets. I also see him as a friend, I can hang with him, have a drink, go fishing and talk to. I don’t think it’spossible optimal to be 100% super honest with my parents best I know they worry, on some level I’m still a baby to them. But opening up to them has been really good with “feeling good enough”.
This says a lot about me, but my only real goal in life is to bury my parents. I’ve been in hospital and the pain I’ve seen in them was beyond words. I know that the reaper comes when he comes, but it’s stopped me from taking stupid risks on the motorcycle etc and defs has been the reason I didn’t kill myself some days.
Thanks for listening to my father issues. Hope it helps B
My views of my father - a trusted person who will always act for my best interests. Someone who I’ve learnt what to do and what not to do from.
I know the sacrifices my parents have made for me. It is proof that they will always do what they think is best for me. Sometimes this is right for me and sometimes this is wrong. The times they have been “wrong” have just made me understand that they are humans trying to do their best. (When they pushed me into uni, terrible fucking move, they came from India and there it was a good move). As I get older I feel like I’m just Mum and Dad at the same time.
I have Dads attention to detail, perfectionism, goofiness, he taught me to build shit, hard work, that you can push yourself, that shit isn’t going to be easy.
Seeing him drink and talking too much shit also made me never want to do that. I hardly drink and I become super aware of my speech when I am drunk. He’s very logical and likes to flex about the things he knows and the things he’s done. I think it’s egotistical so I go the other way.
I see family is people I can trust with my life, assets, everything like I know they won’t take it from me and even if they do it kinda feels like it’s still mine? (Not sure if that makes sense). A tribe. I have friends that I feel this way about too. It’s like all their wins are my wins too.
The relationship with my dad gets me access to his assets. I also see him as a friend, I can hang with him, have a drink, go fishing and talk to. I don’t think it’s
This says a lot about me, but my only real goal in life is to bury my parents. I’ve been in hospital and the pain I’ve seen in them was beyond words. I know that the reaper comes when he comes, but it’s stopped me from taking stupid risks on the motorcycle etc and defs has been the reason I didn’t kill myself some days.
Thanks for listening to my father issues. Hope it helps B
ziva
Member
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2023
- Name
- Dallas
- Goal
- Improve in sex/dating
- Age
- 22
- Motto
- Never quit
- Location
- The Netherlands
-If you'd ask me, I would say the relationship you're the happiest with. If you can speak to him relatively openly, and y'all don't really fight/argue, that's already healthy. If having the occasional chat is all you want the relationship to be, that's totally fine. That's pretty much what the relationship between me and my father looks like these days, and I used to live with him up until 3 years ago. When I lived with him for 5 years I also didn't see my mother much at all. I think we're pretty similar in how much value we put (or don't put
) on family.-I appreciate him. When I first "left" him after 5 years of living there, I for the first time got a feeling that he missed me. He gave me a hug when I first visited after a couple of months, and he asked me multiple times if I would maybe sleep over on the weekends or something. He gives love by being there and supporting you (in a really unemotional, but solid way
). Anyways, to answer your question. I appreciate and love him, and I don't want to totally forget him after having lived there for those years (and being there since I was a kid). It feels good for me to reach out to him/visit him from time to time, and I think he can appreciate that as well. I always sort of knew I wasn't made to keep in touch with everybody all the time, and that's okay.-I also don't really talk to most of my family that much at all. With most of them I don't have any relationship anymore, other than "hey long time no see" every few years. With some of my other family members I appreciate their existence, their story, and where they came from. That's pretty much all I'm getting out of my family members. But I'm totally fine with that. I just don't value that much in life besides life itself, improving, and a small amount of relationships.
Yggdrasil13
Member
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2023
I have a very good relationship with my father so I’ll take a stab at this. My relationship with my father looks like this: I live far from home, but I’ll call my father on the phone every 1-3 days. I’ll usually update him on whatever is going on in my life and we’ll discuss common interests we have in politics/baseball. I’ll visit him and my mother every 1-3 months about. Usually we just go out to eat and watch tv when I visit. If I have a problem I’m very anxious about, I’ll usually ask him for advice on it and if I suffer an emotional blow I’ll try and get his advice on that too.
I think that’s natural as you get older. I will still seek my father’s advice but ultimately he’s a different person than me and he grew up in a vastly different world. He doesn’t have the answers for a lot of my problems.
A confidante, a man who has my interests at heart more than anybody else in the entire world and would always be there to help me if I needed it in whatever capacity he could. Visiting him and my mother is a respite from a tough and uncaring world. When things are going poorly it has really helped me sort out my mind. The most valuable thing I get from my parents these days is companionship when I think about it. And not ordinary companionship, but companionship with people who genuinely deeply care about you. It’s a rare thing.
I don’t but somehow I still wound up here lol. FWIW I do feel like my relationship with my parent’s is unusually close.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
I'll post some responses and thoughts about what I'll do soon, but just wanted to say these little windows into other's relationships are very helpful. Thank you @ziva, @Adrizzle, @Yggdrasil13.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
I did not trust my father to act in my best interests when I was younger. He seems genuine on doing that now. I've most definitely learned the most of what NOT to do from him.
Hmm. Most of my family I would not trust with my life or assets, either because of their malevolent intents or lack of responsibility or incompetence. On the other hand, I have built relationships with friends I'd call brothers and could trust them without thinking twice.
My father and I have considered this dynamic before, where he's more of a friend. However, if that's the case 1) I curate my friends around me that are improving, he was not for a long time and 2) if we're friends then we treat each other as equals. However, that can never really be the case because he will always be my father, even if we try to mentally say were equal.
This is pretty much where we are at now. Maybe we could be more open with one another. I feel ok with the relationship, he's adamant he wants more.
Yeah, he wasn't there and didn't support me growing up. So I learned to do without. Now he'd like to give that, but I don't need it like I did when I was a kid. I have lots of people there to support me.
Feel the same way.
This is so helpful to see and is just wild to me! I don't talk to anyone every 1-3 days, let alone my father! I talk to him maybe once a month, but can go two or three and not even consider making a call. He will text about once a week and I will respond, but I never initiate texting him. I can easily go a whole year and never see him. I never ask him for life advice and he never crosses my mind to call for emotional support. In the past I leaned on my wife for support and now do so from my men's group if I need. However, I've learned to cope and self soothe and rarely ever need the support.
I have the same behavior with my mother, now. I used talk and visit her more often when I was in college; however, that was before she stated having psychological issues. She is a shell of the same woman she used to be. Her sister, my aunt, said the same thing when I visited her last week. It's no surprise I had a closer relationship with my mother as she raised me and I've grieved the loss of that relationship. I'm largely at peace with it now and just accept her for what's left of her.
Hmm, this feels true and the benefit I'm not seeing. He seems genuine in caring deeply. I don't care as much, which I guess is the "right" way of things, being as he's the parent and I'm the child. However, I feel guilt for not caring as much.
---
Mental Model for The Relationship with My Father
I've thought about this the last few days.
From what I can discern is that the benefit to me would be having someone there to support me, unconditionally (because the condition is blood), if I ever needed.
Initially my reaction is that I won't need because I have all the support I need or do it myself. That's naive and I can't see the future. This is like an insurance policy for a need you can't see coming.
(Which I fucking hate paying any kind of insurance... but I do it anyways because you can't see black swans.)
I know that any relationship costs time and energy to maintain. So how much of an insurance premium am I willing to pay in order to maintain this relationship?
For the two months I'm here, I'm visiting him once a week. I'm going over this Sunday and he's going to change the brakes and rotors on the van. Real fatherly/son thing to do. We are also going on hiking trip later this month and will probably have some open discussions along the way.
After I leave, I think I can commit to calling once every two weeks. Once a week is too often and I'll see it as a chore. Once a month is not often enough because I'll just skip it and be fine with not calling him for another month. I can tolerate once every two weeks and maybe some day in the future, I may come to enjoy it.
I don't want to spend the holidays with him. I don't want to spend the holidays with any family, actually (that's a separate discussion). I don't really know if I could commit to seeing him once a year. That would depend on how my travel lifestyle unfolds, and I'm too early into it to tell. WA could be a regular stop, in which case I would make an effort to see him. However, I'm not going to go out of my way to make a trip just to specifically see just him. On the other hand, I could be open to him traveling to wherever I am and could commit to that occurrence once a year, maybe once every six months even.
I could be better about sharing more intimate details of my life and emotional landscape with him. I don't have a big desire to, but it would benefit him. Maybe one day I will get benefit from it, too.
My father exhibits needy behavior, and when he needs my love, he overwhelms me, either by texting a bunch when not in person, and excessive talking when in person. This will trigger an avoidant behavior in me and I'll ignore if not in person or go silent if in person. Instead of shutting down, I'll need to recognize my behavior in the moment and instead speak up to set and reinforce, multiple times, a boundary around this.
I'd like him to see a counselor, a therapist, or someone to emotionally support him. I am open to emotionally supporting him, but only to the extent that I am there to emotionally support others such as my friends. I think he would like me to support him more and I won't do that. That's too much time and energy, it will drain me, and it will make me not want to support others freely. I did that with one parent already and to be frank - that's not a child's job. In fact, it's supposed to be the other way around, as observed by the responses of others above. He's got a lot of self work to do, years worth, the same path I had to learn to walk on my own to reach the state I am now. I can help him along the way, but it's not my responsibility to raise him. I'm not the father.
If I do find some special partners in the future, I'd be ok with them meeting him. I was hesitant originally with the ex-wife as I was protecting her. There are some family members that she has never met and we were together for almost a decade. He did ok with her though. He's a different man now. I think I'd be ok with that.
I won't be having kids. So no issues there other than having the discussion with him that he won't ever be a grandfather which is relationship fathers often try to rectify themselves with.
If we start this now, maybe by the time he's old and needs support, I'll be ok with helping him in this regard. I'm open to the possibility, especially since I won't have kids, as I will keep me in check from becoming completely narcissistic and confronting the fact that sometimes you have to take care of others regardless of your self-interest.
I think that largely covers it. Anything I'm missing?
I know this seems pretty cold and analytical, especially from the guy who's about emotion and empathy with girls, but as I said before, I'm pretty neutral and almost apathetic about this particular situation. It just is.
ziva
Member
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2023
- Name
- Dallas
- Goal
- Improve in sex/dating
- Age
- 22
- Motto
- Never quit
- Location
- The Netherlands
I would say this is a good starting point. It seems like you're willing to nurture the relationship in a way that feels comfortable to you, and maybe a bit uncomfortable in the future. You can take it slow and see how you feel along the way.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Spent some father/son time replacing brakes on the van yesterday. It went well and I just had fun learning mechanics and gaining another skill.
Had two first dates on Friday. Didn't pull on either as I said I was waiting for second dates. First girl is below. Second girl would have also been a lay, but she cancelled on me Saturday. I'll see her this Thursday. We are going to a winery that overlooks the city for a quartet this is playing. She has a membership there so we get to go free. I have the van, so I always have logistics, which means I can choose to do whatever I want for the date instead of going to the same damn bar over and over again. So a fancy winery date it is.
Was supposed to have a date last Thursday and she flaked and ghosted. No reason given. She seemed really down, but alas, gone with the wind.
Matched with a very attractive van life girl who happens to be in the same area as me. Hoping that goes somewhere because it already ticks a couple LTR boxes.
Also back in TX land...
I was right about the attachment style. She texted me today apologizing for being a terrible communicator, and that it was not fair and hurtful to leave me in the dark. Her work was always a shitshow for overworking her, she couldn't really balance it all, is bad at connecting with people, and she said she was scared to tell me. With an avoidant attachment style, you basically have to let them come to you, otherwise you overwhelm them and they shut down further. Anyways, it was just nice to receive the text and confirm it wasn't really me, it was her. Still, she was great and hopefully we can reconnect some day in the future.
---
#37 - MILF
Officially calling this one the Milf because she's the oldest I've been with - 46 yo. As with any of these older women, they must meet the standard of still being physically attractive and keeping themselves tight. Really did it for the novelty and find my upper limit on age. I'd say this is pretty close. But I'm a kinky fucker happen to enjoy age gaps both ways.
Typical story, recently divorced, highly professional with a 20 year career, wants to be kinky and get the sex life she never got when married and wants it with a man she can actually submit to... even if that man is 16 years younger.
Met at a local park here with a giant waterfall and we sat next to the waterfall to chat. After the initial hug, she was kinoing me the whole conversation, touching my arm or leaning into me on high notes. We intertwined legs early. Conversation was typical material from mild to spicy. Towards the end were facing each other with lots of eye contact and I pulled her in for several kisses. She really wanted me to pull, but I'd already made a commitment to not on first dates, and I had work to finish before my other first date that day anyways. To be honest, it was actually amusing to make her wait and play the "hot girl" role. You get a bit of a sadistic kick out of the mild playful anguish your causing, and now I can see why it's fun for some girls to play girl game. Damn sadists they are.
Second date was straight to the van. Literally texted her where I was parked and it was a done deal. She has teenagers at home, so she can't host. So that's officially the first lay in the van. Sex is... interesting. Not ideal, but maybe cause I've not done it a dozen times yet to know how and where to move the girls. I'm used to huge bed to throw them around on and the be able to stand up fully lol. Oh well, I'll figure out. Other girls will be able to host, so at least it's some novel variety. Bonus of older women: experience. This women gives very pleasurable head and actually good a the titty fucking/ blowjob combo which most girls are crappy at because they have rarely done it.
I will say, getting laid is great for mental health. Was feeling a bit nihilistic this last week and my social battery was on low. Feeling a little above neutral today.
Had two first dates on Friday. Didn't pull on either as I said I was waiting for second dates. First girl is below. Second girl would have also been a lay, but she cancelled on me Saturday. I'll see her this Thursday. We are going to a winery that overlooks the city for a quartet this is playing. She has a membership there so we get to go free. I have the van, so I always have logistics, which means I can choose to do whatever I want for the date instead of going to the same damn bar over and over again. So a fancy winery date it is.
Was supposed to have a date last Thursday and she flaked and ghosted. No reason given. She seemed really down, but alas, gone with the wind.
Matched with a very attractive van life girl who happens to be in the same area as me. Hoping that goes somewhere because it already ticks a couple LTR boxes.
Also back in TX land...
I was right about the attachment style. She texted me today apologizing for being a terrible communicator, and that it was not fair and hurtful to leave me in the dark. Her work was always a shitshow for overworking her, she couldn't really balance it all, is bad at connecting with people, and she said she was scared to tell me. With an avoidant attachment style, you basically have to let them come to you, otherwise you overwhelm them and they shut down further. Anyways, it was just nice to receive the text and confirm it wasn't really me, it was her. Still, she was great and hopefully we can reconnect some day in the future.
---
#37 - MILF
Officially calling this one the Milf because she's the oldest I've been with - 46 yo. As with any of these older women, they must meet the standard of still being physically attractive and keeping themselves tight. Really did it for the novelty and find my upper limit on age. I'd say this is pretty close. But I'm a kinky fucker happen to enjoy age gaps both ways.
Typical story, recently divorced, highly professional with a 20 year career, wants to be kinky and get the sex life she never got when married and wants it with a man she can actually submit to... even if that man is 16 years younger.
Met at a local park here with a giant waterfall and we sat next to the waterfall to chat. After the initial hug, she was kinoing me the whole conversation, touching my arm or leaning into me on high notes. We intertwined legs early. Conversation was typical material from mild to spicy. Towards the end were facing each other with lots of eye contact and I pulled her in for several kisses. She really wanted me to pull, but I'd already made a commitment to not on first dates, and I had work to finish before my other first date that day anyways. To be honest, it was actually amusing to make her wait and play the "hot girl" role. You get a bit of a sadistic kick out of the mild playful anguish your causing, and now I can see why it's fun for some girls to play girl game. Damn sadists they are.
Second date was straight to the van. Literally texted her where I was parked and it was a done deal. She has teenagers at home, so she can't host. So that's officially the first lay in the van. Sex is... interesting. Not ideal, but maybe cause I've not done it a dozen times yet to know how and where to move the girls. I'm used to huge bed to throw them around on and the be able to stand up fully lol. Oh well, I'll figure out. Other girls will be able to host, so at least it's some novel variety. Bonus of older women: experience. This women gives very pleasurable head and actually good a the titty fucking/ blowjob combo which most girls are crappy at because they have rarely done it.
I will say, getting laid is great for mental health. Was feeling a bit nihilistic this last week and my social battery was on low. Feeling a little above neutral today.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Just a little update about Politics Girl that I mentioned above. I had a phone call with her yesterday for about an hour. Which is significant because I don't do phone calls with any of my girls. It's always over text. We updated each other about our lives and she was eager to hear about how I have been doing.
She told she has not dated anyone else since we first met, even after I left. She thanked me for our relationship, saying it was really healthy for her and healing. She realized she had avoidant behavior, a people pleaser, and hard for her to set boundaries, communicate, or express emotions. She said she was thankful for me because I modeled what secure, healthy behavior looked like for her. She told me that when relationships ended for her in the past, she felt kind of icky afterwards like she had been used, but with ours she felt like a better person. She said she started reading a book on being assertive and setting boundaries and has started doing so with other people in her life. She's also standing up for herself at work and possibly looking for a remote position, contemplating leaving TX even though it scares her. She told me that I was an inspiring and incredible person.
She also asked genuine questions about polyamory since she knew I was non-monogamous. She did ask I had ever dated someone where we started non-monogamous, but then that person actually wanted to be monogamous. I think she had a genuine curiosity about this, but it did make me wonder if she was stating is as that "someone". However, I think she is really open to the idea of poly and when I explained my reasons, she resonated and understood.
Despite her insecure attachment and anxiety sometimes, I do like this girl. She was one of my favorites. She's respectful, open-minded, very sexual and kinky (and the sex is fantastic), keeps herself fit, ambitious, and willing to do the work to improve herself, which are just some of the qualities I really like about her. The insecure attachment and anxiety are something I can and have already helped her improve.
I decided to be vulnerable and take a leap of faith. I told her my friends and I are doing a trip to one of the biggest cave systems here in WA and I would love if she joined us. She said that would be absolutely amazing and would love to, but she had a family reunion then. She said she really wants to visit WA, misses me, and would love to see me again. I told her the months I'd be here and told her I'd love have her visit. She said if she plans a trip, I'll be the first to know.
Kind of sucked because what I wanted was an enthusiastic yes and for it to actually happen. Instead I get reality of life obligations and essentially a maybe. Such as life. I suppose I'm putting her through the same "test" as I have planned for Bumble Girl to see if this is a relationship I want to put time and energy into for a true LTR. Normally I don't like "tests" but considering the alternativeness of my lifestyle, in more dimension than one, I would like the assurance that these girls are actually aware and comfortable with what they are stepping into. So getting on a plane to come see me, making a substantial energy investment, feels to me that they'd like the relationship to be something more and they are ready to discuss that.
She told she has not dated anyone else since we first met, even after I left. She thanked me for our relationship, saying it was really healthy for her and healing. She realized she had avoidant behavior, a people pleaser, and hard for her to set boundaries, communicate, or express emotions. She said she was thankful for me because I modeled what secure, healthy behavior looked like for her. She told me that when relationships ended for her in the past, she felt kind of icky afterwards like she had been used, but with ours she felt like a better person. She said she started reading a book on being assertive and setting boundaries and has started doing so with other people in her life. She's also standing up for herself at work and possibly looking for a remote position, contemplating leaving TX even though it scares her. She told me that I was an inspiring and incredible person.
She also asked genuine questions about polyamory since she knew I was non-monogamous. She did ask I had ever dated someone where we started non-monogamous, but then that person actually wanted to be monogamous. I think she had a genuine curiosity about this, but it did make me wonder if she was stating is as that "someone". However, I think she is really open to the idea of poly and when I explained my reasons, she resonated and understood.
Despite her insecure attachment and anxiety sometimes, I do like this girl. She was one of my favorites. She's respectful, open-minded, very sexual and kinky (and the sex is fantastic), keeps herself fit, ambitious, and willing to do the work to improve herself, which are just some of the qualities I really like about her. The insecure attachment and anxiety are something I can and have already helped her improve.
I decided to be vulnerable and take a leap of faith. I told her my friends and I are doing a trip to one of the biggest cave systems here in WA and I would love if she joined us. She said that would be absolutely amazing and would love to, but she had a family reunion then. She said she really wants to visit WA, misses me, and would love to see me again. I told her the months I'd be here and told her I'd love have her visit. She said if she plans a trip, I'll be the first to know.
Kind of sucked because what I wanted was an enthusiastic yes and for it to actually happen. Instead I get reality of life obligations and essentially a maybe. Such as life. I suppose I'm putting her through the same "test" as I have planned for Bumble Girl to see if this is a relationship I want to put time and energy into for a true LTR. Normally I don't like "tests" but considering the alternativeness of my lifestyle, in more dimension than one, I would like the assurance that these girls are actually aware and comfortable with what they are stepping into. So getting on a plane to come see me, making a substantial energy investment, feels to me that they'd like the relationship to be something more and they are ready to discuss that.
Last edited:
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Had a funny experience at the gym this morning. I was getting ready to do deadlifts and this Latina gym bunny who was very fit eyes me from across the gym and gives me a smile. I go about my working out. Later in my workout she walks right in front of me and grabs the dumbells then looks at me and gives me a huge smile. Ok honey, I get it.
I finish up my workout and go talk to her, "What, you're going to give me this huge smile and not even come say hello?" I tell her in a sarcastic tone. We start chatting and she's already asking questions about me. Apparently she also seen me at the library a couple times when ive worked from there. I find out she makes "content". Of course I start assuming it might be OF. She was surely attractive enough to do so.
Boy was I in for a treat.
Instead she makes gospel content on YouTube and is studying in the ministry. I proceeded to get my own personal few minute sermon right there. I was like "oh... oh no... I've made a grave mistake." She asked if I believe in God and I mention I take a more Buddhist perspective. The sermon continues. I was polite and let her finish, considering ill probably see her again at the gym, and the ejected telling her I had to get to work.
I just laughed at myself and thought what were the odds. Total trad wife material though if that's what I was looking for.
I finish up my workout and go talk to her, "What, you're going to give me this huge smile and not even come say hello?" I tell her in a sarcastic tone. We start chatting and she's already asking questions about me. Apparently she also seen me at the library a couple times when ive worked from there. I find out she makes "content". Of course I start assuming it might be OF. She was surely attractive enough to do so.
Boy was I in for a treat.
Instead she makes gospel content on YouTube and is studying in the ministry. I proceeded to get my own personal few minute sermon right there. I was like "oh... oh no... I've made a grave mistake." She asked if I believe in God and I mention I take a more Buddhist perspective. The sermon continues. I was polite and let her finish, considering ill probably see her again at the gym, and the ejected telling her I had to get to work.
I just laughed at myself and thought what were the odds. Total trad wife material though if that's what I was looking for.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
#38 Poly Girl
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. Guess the sermon did not work for me today. Lol.
33yo poly girl who's been married for ten years. They opened up the marriage a few years ago and both of them have a few partners. They seem happy with the whole setup.
She got on feeld though because she wanted a more dominant partner. Sometimes it still surprises me how dominace is in such short supply. Like, none of your other partners are dominant? She calls herself a brat, but she wasn't at all really. Her personality is not as soft, feminine as I like but not overly masculine by anymeans.
Texting was kind of funny at first because she was asking small talk questions, most likely cause she was anxious, and I just cut through the BS and moved us along.
First date was at the park on the same day as the Milf. If I'm not fucking them on the first date, I have no anxiety about stacking dates on the same day. Pretty efficient imo. I ended up walking her over to the rocks overlooking the river, we sat close together, and were making out 30 mins in.
I learned a bit about her poly situation which I found interesting because it's the first girl I've dated whose hard-core poly, where all the partners are comfortable hanging with each other, attend events together, and so on. She also used to be in a Mormon family, and basically went from repressed to going wild. Typical. I also apparently went to high school with her younger sister as we were the same graduating year. Had no idea who she was.
Anyways, the husband was out of town this evening so we set the date for today. She tried to be non chalant again and say she could cook me dinner and watch a movie. I told her let's skip dinner and the movie, I prefer to have the whole evening and savor the experience. When I arrived she had some wine and a quick toke as we let our dogs get used to each other on the house. Then off to the bedroom.
Was nice to have an actual bed again. I can just maneuver so much better. Her kissing is bad, but she makes up for it in enthusiasm and moving her body wherever I needed it to be. I hate when girls don't get in rhythm with you or stiffen up. It's like two people trying to be lead in dancing. Just did typical first time dominant stuff with her, nothing over the top. Of course she loved having her head aggressively smothered into the bed as I fucked her from behind. She also stroked my ego a lot, repeatedly saying how hot I was. Went two rounds with her.
Being poly she lives by the calendar, so we'll see when the next time days align.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. Guess the sermon did not work for me today. Lol.
33yo poly girl who's been married for ten years. They opened up the marriage a few years ago and both of them have a few partners. They seem happy with the whole setup.
She got on feeld though because she wanted a more dominant partner. Sometimes it still surprises me how dominace is in such short supply. Like, none of your other partners are dominant? She calls herself a brat, but she wasn't at all really. Her personality is not as soft, feminine as I like but not overly masculine by anymeans.
Texting was kind of funny at first because she was asking small talk questions, most likely cause she was anxious, and I just cut through the BS and moved us along.
First date was at the park on the same day as the Milf. If I'm not fucking them on the first date, I have no anxiety about stacking dates on the same day. Pretty efficient imo. I ended up walking her over to the rocks overlooking the river, we sat close together, and were making out 30 mins in.
I learned a bit about her poly situation which I found interesting because it's the first girl I've dated whose hard-core poly, where all the partners are comfortable hanging with each other, attend events together, and so on. She also used to be in a Mormon family, and basically went from repressed to going wild. Typical. I also apparently went to high school with her younger sister as we were the same graduating year. Had no idea who she was.
Anyways, the husband was out of town this evening so we set the date for today. She tried to be non chalant again and say she could cook me dinner and watch a movie. I told her let's skip dinner and the movie, I prefer to have the whole evening and savor the experience. When I arrived she had some wine and a quick toke as we let our dogs get used to each other on the house. Then off to the bedroom.
Was nice to have an actual bed again. I can just maneuver so much better. Her kissing is bad, but she makes up for it in enthusiasm and moving her body wherever I needed it to be. I hate when girls don't get in rhythm with you or stiffen up. It's like two people trying to be lead in dancing. Just did typical first time dominant stuff with her, nothing over the top. Of course she loved having her head aggressively smothered into the bed as I fucked her from behind. She also stroked my ego a lot, repeatedly saying how hot I was. Went two rounds with her.
Being poly she lives by the calendar, so we'll see when the next time days align.
Last edited:
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Saw the MILF yesterday and after she left I just felt an immense gratitude for this game and said to myself "I fucking love being a Dom".
I tried out some ownership type stuff. I'd collar her and chained her to the van. Then made her kneel in front of me naked, facing away, lean forward slighty so the chain put pressure on the collar, and fingered her from behind while assertively telling her to tell me who owned her. Later I also did my classic trick of hooking her g spot and holding pressure while telling her to tell me who this pussy belonged too. She ate all this up and soaked my bedding when I fucked her.
What made me chuckle was she said she had a partner coming up for the weekend. Then I remembered I'd paddled her earlier in the session and she was most definitely going to have marks and bruises on her ass. I wonder what these guys think when I send the girls home to them and they know I've been there. My twisted brain gets a kick out of it. Yes she may be with you at the moment, but you see the markings, she belongs to me and I bet she's thinking of me right now too. Of course that's just ego talking, but damn is it a thrill.
Also love the respect I get. It's been "Yes, Sir. Understood." all week while texting her. She told me she'd been a spoiled princess to everyone all week and needed to be taken down a notch. Of course when she saw me, not an ounce of brattiness.
I tried out some ownership type stuff. I'd collar her and chained her to the van. Then made her kneel in front of me naked, facing away, lean forward slighty so the chain put pressure on the collar, and fingered her from behind while assertively telling her to tell me who owned her. Later I also did my classic trick of hooking her g spot and holding pressure while telling her to tell me who this pussy belonged too. She ate all this up and soaked my bedding when I fucked her.
What made me chuckle was she said she had a partner coming up for the weekend. Then I remembered I'd paddled her earlier in the session and she was most definitely going to have marks and bruises on her ass. I wonder what these guys think when I send the girls home to them and they know I've been there. My twisted brain gets a kick out of it. Yes she may be with you at the moment, but you see the markings, she belongs to me and I bet she's thinking of me right now too. Of course that's just ego talking, but damn is it a thrill.
Also love the respect I get. It's been "Yes, Sir. Understood." all week while texting her. She told me she'd been a spoiled princess to everyone all week and needed to be taken down a notch. Of course when she saw me, not an ounce of brattiness.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
2024 NYC Gathering
Next week, July 11-14th, a bunch of guys from the KYIL coaching group and WW forums are meeting up in NYC. That includes some legends like @Ed_ and @MILFandCookies . Right now there is 6 of us coming in.
Originally this was a trip that the crew from Austin was planning. However, we recognized that the quality of people that these forums and the coaching group attract tend to be high quality people that are great to have as friends and part of your network. So we wanted to open it up and invite others. I've met a lot of great guys from these forums and can attest that it's well worth it.
Right now we're trying to get a headcount of who would want to meetup, and then get a day/time during those days that works for most of us. Most likely the 12th or 13th.
If you're interested, drop a comment.
Next week, July 11-14th, a bunch of guys from the KYIL coaching group and WW forums are meeting up in NYC. That includes some legends like @Ed_ and @MILFandCookies . Right now there is 6 of us coming in.
Originally this was a trip that the crew from Austin was planning. However, we recognized that the quality of people that these forums and the coaching group attract tend to be high quality people that are great to have as friends and part of your network. So we wanted to open it up and invite others. I've met a lot of great guys from these forums and can attest that it's well worth it.
Right now we're trying to get a headcount of who would want to meetup, and then get a day/time during those days that works for most of us. Most likely the 12th or 13th.
If you're interested, drop a comment.
pancakemouse
Member
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2021
- Goal
- Master daygame
- Age
- 34
I'll be there.
