Crimson’s Progress Log

[Crimson]

Why am I scared to approach girls?

Went down the rabbit hole of answering this question, as I just don’t seem to be able to do it. Granted, I probably tried to approach for 6 days in a row, then didn’t go out for 4 days and then got back on it for the last two days.

Plus I’ve “only” been going out for 30 min. each day.


So these are the results:

1. Why am I scared to approach girls? -> Because I fear rejection.

2. Why do I fear rejection? -> Because I’m scared to end up alone.

3. Why am I scared to end up alone? -> Because being alone would mean that I would have to learn to enjoy my own company + Face my insecurities/ issues one by one.

4. Why can’t I learn to enjoy my own company + Face my insecurities/ issues? -> Because doing so would be scary and hard

5. Does the process of me learning to enjoy my own company + Facing my insecurities/ issues have to be scary and hard? -> Probably, but probably less so if I break it down into manageable steps.

6. Why don’t I enjoy my own company?

-Negative self-talk (nobody likes hanging out with an asshole, even if it’s yourself)

-I live quite a boring life (“Hanging out with myself” is just really not that interesting)

-I don’t know myself (I feel like I don’t know what I really want ect.)



The rabbit hole is probably way deeper than this but I haven’t come up with new questions yet. Might edit this specific post later on and add new questions I’ve found or I’ll make an entirely new post.

I’ll talk about possible solutions for not enjoying my own company and confronting my insecurities/issues in the next post.


Crimson

 

[goldfish]

I like that you've done some introspection, I think it's important to step back and figure out the "why" of why you feel certain things sometimes... as long as it's accompanied by some form of action.

Your thoughts influence your behavior, but your behavior also influences your thoughts. You can tackle your insecurities at any one of those levels that you've outlined in your post, but finding direct solutions to deep stuff such as not knowing yourself and having negative self-worth is harder than finding solutions to the surface problems you're having, which is not being able to approach.

You can hate yourself and at the same time go out and approach women. You can think you're the most boring person in the world, and still go out and approach women. You might not get good results cause of the deep level insecurities, but you can still do it anyways. I haven't been closely following your log so I don't know what you've done in terms of approaching, but find a solution for that first. First get used to the rejection, and eventually whatever "mental gains" you get from approach will trickle down to the deeper stuff. Your behavior will change the way you think, and chances are you might stop having all that negative self-talk just by virtue of taking positive action.

This doesn't mean you can't work on trying to make yourself more likeable etc. while approaching at the same time, but I don't want you to fall into the trap of mental masturbation and trying to figure out everything without taking action.

 

[Crimson]

I like that you've done some introspection, I think it's important to step back and figure out the "why" of why you feel certain things sometimes... as long as it's accompanied by some form of action.

Your thoughts influence your behavior, but your behavior also influences your thoughts. You can tackle your insecurities at any one of those levels that you've outlined in your post, but finding direct solutions to deep stuff such as not knowing yourself and having negative self-worth is harder than finding solutions to the surface problems you're having, which is not being able to approach.

You can hate yourself and at the same time go out and approach women. You can think you're the most boring person in the world, and still go out and approach women. You might not get good results cause of the deep level insecurities, but you can still do it anyways. I haven't been closely following your log so I don't know what you've done in terms of approaching, but find a solution for that first. First get used to the rejection, and eventually whatever "mental gains" you get from approach will trickle down to the deeper stuff. Your behavior will change the way you think, and chances are you might stop having all that negative self-talk just by virtue of taking positive action.

This doesn't mean you can't work on trying to make yourself more likeable etc. while approaching at the same time, but I don't want you to fall into the trap of mental masturbation and trying to figure out everything without taking action.

Right, thank you for the reminder, that does make a lot of sense. Action comes first.

That one line really hit me: “Your thoughts influence your behavior, but your behavior also influences your thoughts.”.

I’ll have to write that down.

 

[Crimson]

On Frontlines for 1h 30 min.

This is from yesterday. Was out there for 1 hour and 30 min. this time, but didn’t talk to any girls.

Did OLD, went to the gym and played basketball as well.


Crimson

 

[Crimson]

50 min. on the Frontlines

Was outside for 50 min. today, didn’t talk to any girls. Could’ve stayed outside for a bit longer.

Had basketball practice and did some OLD as well.


Crimson

 

[Crimson]

Lazy day

Stayed in bed all day doing nothing except OLD.

(Been getting more replies since I changed my first message to “Hey, you’re sexy. Looking for something very specific on here.”)


Note: 1 month left to reach my goal of sleeping with 1 girl.


Crimson

 

[Red]

Hey, you’re sexy. Looking for something very specific on here

What do you continue with?

Yo and props for starting to read the Straigh A book

 

[Crimson]

Hey, you’re sexy. Looking for something very specific on here

What do you continue with?

Yo and props for starting to read the Straigh A book

Thanks and I don’t actually know yet, I haven’t gotten any responses past the first message yet.

 

[Crimson]

1 hour and 40 min. on the frontlines

This is from yesterday. Was outside for 1h and 40min. but didn’t talk to any girls. Also did a little OLD, but skipped going to the gym.

Note:

Things have been going better since implementing a tactic from the straight A student book. I’m raising my hand more, paying better attention in class and I’m actually studying at home.

But unfortunately I’m skipping school again today. A combination of not getting enough sleep and not being sure wether I did my homework for one of todays subjects (and not wanting to face the consequences of that).

My bad, I’ll be going to school again tomorrow.


Crimson

 

[Crimson]

1 hour on the frontlines

This is from yesterday again (I often fall asleep before posting, or forget)

1 hour outside, didn’t talk to any girls. Also got a “Easy Peasy CBT” book from the library. Had a basketball game so I didn’t do anything else (I played pretty bad [only had like 6 points], but we won significantly [100-48], we’re 3-0 now).

Note: I’m back in school again, I didn’t skip today.


Crimson

 

[Crimson]

How to screen for dominant girls?

A little embarrassed to type this out, lol.

In the “Sex God Method” it says that dominating a girl is one of the best ways to get a girl aroused sexually.

I’m pretty sure I’m a sub though (although I do like to dominate a little as well, just not as much). A part of me thinks that girls will think I’m weak if I say that I like to be dominated, though I rationally know that that won’t happen.

Another part of me wonders wether I just say I’m a sub because I’m not that experienced at dominating (Out of the 4 elements mentioned in the “Sex God Method” [Dominance, Emotion, Variety, Immersion] I’m the weakest at being dominant), though I’m pretty sure I genuinely like the idea.

Dominating a girl does still sound kinda appealing to me (It was pretty fun with Basketball Girl and Lovoo Girl), so perhaps I would learn to enjoy it the more I did it.




Anyways I’ve previously already said that I’ve changed my opening message on OLD to “Hey, you’re sexy. I’m looking for something very specific on here.”.

This increased my response rate massively (Thanks to Bman) and the girls obviously ask what I’m looking for.

What reply do I send them to screen for dominant girls?

I remember someone on the GLL forums asking the exact same question and Andy replied with something along the lines of “I’m looking for a girl who is in tune with her sexuality and knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to take it”, or something along those lines.


Crimson

 

[Crimson]

How to screen for dominant girls?

Anytime you have a question, or unsure of something, search all my content (my blog, YouTube, and Spotify) to see if I've done content on it. If you search killyourinnerloser.com for "dominant", this comes up:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/how-to-find-dominant-women/

Another part of me wonders wether I just say I’m a sub

Why do you have to be one or the other? Play around with being dominant, being submissive, see which ones you like. I'm dominant sometimes, submissive other times - it's all fun.

Right, thank you. I’ll first go through your content before asking questions in the future. I’ll listen to the podcast.

And yeah, I shouldn’t have to constrain myself to one thing, you’re right.

 

[Red]

What reply do I send them to screen for dominant girls?

I have 0 experience with dom girls, cos I am dom. I can't really imagine being sub too.

BUT.

On Badoo I have BDSM themed profile and open with looking for something specific...
I run to a lot of girls that ask me what I am looking for and after me replying with BDSM, they told me they are looking for it but are dom.

So I would atleast try just switching the looking for BDSM/sub to BDSM/dom. Using Andys's BDSM script.

Again 0 experience with it, just a thought.

Good luck man!

Red

 

[Crimson]

I've only been dominant but secretly, being cucked or submissive, especially by some really hot ruthless girl, turns me on tremendously. Always has. I don't know why this part of my psyche exists, cause I also have a highly aggressive dominant side as well. And I've dominated the living shit out of quite a few women at this point.

Never actually had the guts to try being a cuck or submissive though. Don't know if I ever will either. And in addition to the pleasure it would come with alot of pain, that's part of the evil excitement actually. And the pain always seemed even worse than the pleasure to me. Even though I've been in the moment close to trying it before, but never took the plunge. And this was always with girls who I was dominant with so I was worried if I exposed that side of myself to them, they would get turned off, lose respect, and leave.

I have a friend who is happily submissive and with dominant girls and enjoys the living hell out of it though on the flip side, for whatever reason it doesn't bother him like it does me.

So I'd say just go for it fully and with no shame, if it's something that truly excites you. Who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks, it's your life, no one else's and you are the one who's going to have to live it.

There is definitely really hot girls out there who are definitely open to the idea of being your dom, trust me.

Try both as well of course though.

Right, that seems to be the best thing to do. Thank you for your feedback.

 

[Crimson]

What reply do I send them to screen for dominant girls?

I have 0 experience with dom girls, cos I am dom. I can't really imagine being sub too.

BUT.

On Badoo I have BDSM themed profile and open with looking for something specific...
I run to a lot of girls that ask me what I am looking for and after me replying with BDSM, they told me they are looking for it but are dom.

So I would atleast try just switching the looking for BDSM/sub to BDSM/dom. Using Andys's BDSM script.

Again 0 experience with it, just a thought.

Good luck man!

Red

That sounds like a great idea, I’ll try that and report how it works out.

 

[Red]

That sounds like a great idea, I’ll try that and report how it works out.

Yo and also I just logged to Feeld and KinkD and there are some dom chicks. Go check it out.

Maybe you can secure some dom suggar mommy haha

Red

 

[Crimson]

That sounds like a great idea, I’ll try that and report how it works out.

Yo and also I just logged to Feeld and KinkD and there are some dom chicks. Go check it out.

Maybe you can secure some dom suggar mommy haha

Red

Haha, I’m already on Feeld I’ll have to check KinkD out as well.

 

[Crimson]

Update

Feels like I’ve been gone for a while again. Definitely haven’t been as active as before.

Anyways, I’ve had quite a lazy week, laying in bed the whole day (not every day, like 2-4 days out of 7), not doing anything dating-wise. But I’m back now.

There are some positive things I’ve done though. I’ve had two coaching calls with the coaching client of Andy so far. They’ve been super helpful and he’s given me a ton of value. I will detail what I’ve learned in my other log as I think it is more mental-health related.

I also have one with Andy coming up next week, which I’m looking forward to.


Crimson

 

[MakingAComeback]

Update

Feels like I’ve been gone for a while again. Definitely haven’t been as active as before.

Anyways, I’ve had quite a lazy week, laying in bed the whole day (not every day, like 2-4 days out of 7), not doing anything dating-wise. But I’m back now.

There are some positive things I’ve done though. I’ve had two coaching calls with the coaching client of Andy so far. They’ve been super helpful and he’s given me a ton of value.

I also have one with Andy coming up next week, which I’m looking forward to.


Crimson

The best thing you can do is get coaching with Andy.

One or two calls a month.

Take extensive notes, clarify your next steps.

You will have to work.

A lazy week, not doing much, this was me at your age.

It totally derailed my life.

Totally destroyed me and made me a loser for so many years.

You will not repeat my mistakes. By the time you are my age, you will be a success.

Just take it one step at a time. It's OK to take time. We are willing to invest time in you, be patient, and see you grow over years.

You will need a solid GAME PLAN. You are a guy who needs process and structure, Brandon. You are like me. You will need to develop rituals.

It won't happen overnight, it'll take time, but you WILL get there.

Just keep working with Andy. Put money aside and continue coaching with him.

If I had to max out 5 credit cards and sleep in my car to do coaching with Andy, I would have done it.

I spent a disgusting sum of money to do The Phoenix Project. I pretty much ran through my life savings,

And guess what? Next year, I will make all my money back, and then some. You'll see...........

Fortune favours the brave. No matter how small the action, just doing SOMETHING every day, will make you a damn God in this world.

Here is what I like to tell people:

Most human beings on planet earth do not do shit. Just getting up each day and doing what you can is enough to kill 99.999% of people on earth.

You will get there. Don't put pressure on yourself, you need work, and to change your brain, develop focus and consistency. I struggled with this at your age too.

Now who is more consistent than me?

No one.

MAC

 

[Antonio44]

How to screen for dominant girls?

If you just mean dominant in bed, you can find submissive women and order/tell them to act like the boss and dominate you.