This might be premature, but I’m declaring my approach anxiety functionally defeated.
Failed AA program
I did the GLL AA program from June 2019 to January 2020. The longer I went in the program, the worse my experience was and the more anxiety I had. The drills in the program felt very unnatural and forced -- I wasn’t getting many positive reactions and I feel like the program was training me to have poor experiences with women.
By day 18 of the program (the last day I completed), it was taking me over 4 weeks to complete the 20 approaches required for the “day”.
Switching to compliments
In February 2020, Andy suggested that I switch to just giving women compliments. This felt much more authentic, and I was making much more progress with getting comfortable with women.
With lockdowns, masks, and stress from living in Clown World™, I didn’t make progress for the rest of 2020. After I moved to Austin in the fall, I did give a few compliments, but with the colder weather, I took a break until this Spring.
Starting in March, I recommitted to approaching women and giving compliments. This biggest breakthrough I had (something I didn’t even realize during the AA program), was that I need to firmly stop and get women’s attention before engaging them. Previously, I had just been blurting out drills/compliments without fully engaging them first. Even if they were interested, they wouldn’t really process what I was saying since it all happened so fast.
First full approach
As I mentioned in my previous post, two weeks ago I finally built up the nerve to ask a girl for her number after complimenting her. The interaction was literally just:
Me: "Hey I thought you were really cute, and I had to say hi.”
Her: “Oh thank you!”
Me: “I have to run and meet some friends, but could I get your number? It’d be great to grab drinks or something sometime”
Her: “Sure! What’s your name?”
<Then 3 minutes of chitchat while I get her number. Leave with giving her a hug and telling her I look forward to our date>
That was Friday evening. Sunday we had our first date which ended with sex at my place. We’ve met up and had sex twice more since then.
Since that first approach, I asked five more girls for numbers using a similar template.
Day of filming approaches for YouTube
I connected with
YouTuber Social Animal since he was visiting Austin and recording approach videos with a few guys. His channel kinda looks like typical “prank video” content, but he’s actually pretty closely aligned with the GLL/KYIL philosophy of being direct with women (except he’s focused more on building connections with women and not casual sex).
We filmed for 4 hours around town with me wearing a mic and him secretly getting video footage.I talked to about 25 women, asked about 15 for their numbers, and got 7 numbers (no dates yet though). Most of my approaches were pretty quick like above, but I did chat with the girls more as the day went on.
There was basically no approach anxiety after the first few. Either me or the cameraman would point out a woman, he’d get in position, and I’d stop her and compliment her and chat. The only times I failed to approach were pretty “difficult” situations (a group of 4 girls that looked like high schoolers at first, a group of 4 girls talking with a shop vendor, a girl who passed on a crosswalk and I’d need to awkwardly run to catch up with her, etc.)
Next steps
I’m feeling pretty confident that I can continue the success I had from the other day. Now I want to focus on more organic conversations, physically touching a girl, screening harder for sexually available girls, and figuring out date logistics before I leave her.
