Goals for 2023 - NightRoller's Semiregular Update Log

[NightRoller]

Using this thread to log my accountability as I commit to improving myself drastically, by approaching girls

Edit: Here's a link to the commitment I made along with my goals: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1595&p=40708
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Field report 8/16/22; college campus evening
-first girl saw, chickened out
-I beautiful very white girl, weak “I’ll look you up on insta”
-skipped a few potential sets to “refresh” and get some space from the girl I just opened
-another girl, messed it up and I was super nervous, she had boyfriend
-a hot bombshell, 8 or 9 turning many guys’ heads in a skimpy “torn open” front barely concealing her tits, super hot jean booty shorts that were perfectly too short, I walked past twice as she was walking, but she was on the phone, and there were many people around, so didn’t open because “I was too nervous and I’d be bothering her”
-Cute short Asian/indian with big tits, stopped, asked her name, invited her to check out my chocolate collection, she seemed nervous, I should have called it out and riffed on that, flakey number but smoking hot number, felt almost like I was a nervous but normal guy flirting
-First two set this semester, felt nervous but held frame. Talked to both almost equally, gave more attention to one I’m interested in (big boobs, blonde, and cute) . Worried about f’ing up but it went well. Used my “chocolate collection” invite excuse. *Note: after texting, found out she’s lesbian. I need to do better at sexually polarizing/screening. She also insulted me for "preying" on freshmen girls as a senior. How cute.

-with newfound confidence approached another two set of hot gals, this time it felt less natural and she didn’t seem super into it, and the friend said “not interested” and moved on with my intended girl (who asked her though?!)

-I never expected to be cold approaching my first day. But what inspired it was realizing I had thought to myself, “that’s impossible”, but then I consciously thoughts, “heck no, I can definitely do this”

-I’ll look for one more set before I call this session a day (hour)

-Skipped a couple sets because they were with family

-got an insta from a girl in a hurry without a phone number, again invite to see my not-yet-prepped chocolate collection

-skipped a group of 3 “hot girls” because of nerves, used excuse of none of them having much in the chest. Chest isn’t everything. Any time I think I can’t approach, I probably should

-complimented a girl’s necklace instead of doing genuine approach

Lesson not yet learned: don’t act “too cool” to talk to girls you think are cute

 

[pancakemouse]

Very excited for this thread. First of all, because there is no one active here doing college approaches (there was a guy, but he's now defunct). Secondly, you have an interesting archetype and we think similarly.

How many students on your campus? Depending on size, you might be better off doing more "social" approaches and trying to funnel your leads that way. Daygame doesn't work too well in college because girls are loathe to do things 1-1 and it's hard to work around busy schedules.

Nightgame/party game a much better opportunity.

Of course, it all depends on your goals.

Inviting girls to check out your chocolate collection could probably come off more than a bit creepy, if it doesn't fit in her societal paradigm. Do you drink? If so, keep it simple, invite her to drink some wine in your dorm room.

"I'll look you up on insta" was from you or from her? If from you, make sure you are getting the girl's phone and having her follow you instead: https://pancakemouse.wordpress.com/2018/03/17/how-to-instagram-close-the-pancake-way.

But at the end of the day, I would completely avoid Instagram unless you have a top-tier profile for your campus (e.g. top 10% of the profiles on campus). Otherwise, it's going to disqualify you more than it will help you.

I don't do phone approaches. They're rude and never convert. Plus, you have a reputation to uphold on campus. Everything needs to be toned down a bit.

 

[NightRoller]

Updates for 8/17:

- Didn't approach any girls (had meetings during prime approach time)
- Got my 5th notch
- Texted some girls on tinder---after changing my profile main picture to be a shirtless bathroom selfie, which RPD deemed the best of my currently poor photo selection, I'm getting fewer matches than the end of the spring semester, but they seem to be somewhat more "on".
- Read the get lean article, downloaded MyFitnessPal, and wrote down what days I will go to the gym on my calendar
- Took some notes on the KYIL Tinder guide
- Emailed a connection that may grease the gears for getting a bartending job

Secondly, you have an interesting archetype and we think similarly.

I really have no idea what archetype this could be. I generally give off nerdy vibes, so working with my coach decided on the "punk/rock edge" kind of style upgrade. It has netted me a few compliments when I get the ensemble together properly (but I need more clothes to wear it nearly every day).

Nightgame/party game a much better opportunity.

I don't have party access or planning abilities (still have the social structures of a nerd), and I absolutely suck at nightgame. I've made plans to go out with a wing to try it again tonight anyway. (I'll fuck it up anyway, might as well give it a go---boy Andy's stuff is applicable.)
Campus size is about 20k undergrad students, with some additional graduate students.

Inviting girls to check out your chocolate collection could probably come off more than a bit creepy, if it doesn't fit in her societal paradigm. Do you drink? If so, keep it simple, invite her to drink some wine in your dorm room.

I don't drink much, and unfortunately alcohol is banned in the dorms... I wouldn't mind having alcohol in my dorm even so, but with a very liberal campus I fret that someone will rat me out if I use it for invitations.
I took inspiration for the chocolate collection from some stories I'd read somewhere (perhaps on RedQuest) about a guy using his guitar/aquarium to invite girls. I'm trying to find something I can make real to avoid dishonesty. Based on my experiences thus far, it does seem like the chocolate collection thing is offputting though, both online and in person. Small data set, but overall it agrees.

I don't do phone approaches. They're rude and never convert.

I'm not sure what you mean by phone approaches. If you mean getting her number, I use a seeded hangout as an excuse to get it, and try to continue conversation from there to make it not just about the number. But certainly, I've never had a cold approach (phone number or otherwise) turn into a lay, and only 1 or 2 dates in the past (last year, but I was less calibrated back then too).
My Instagram belies my nerdiness and inactivity... I still have a long way to go for knowing "how to take good pictures" and "how often/how much to post on insta".

 

[pancakemouse]

I really have no idea what archetype this could be. I generally give off nerdy vibes, so working with my coach decided on the "punk/rock edge" kind of style upgrade. It has netted me a few compliments when I get the ensemble together properly (but I need more clothes to wear it nearly every day).

Would love to see some photos of this here (if you're comfortable).

I don't have party access or planning abilities (still have the social structures of a nerd), and I absolutely suck at nightgame. I've made plans to go out with a wing to try it again tonight anyway. (I'll fuck it up anyway, might as well give it a go---boy Andy's stuff is applicable.)

You don't have to plan the party, you just have to be at the party. My first kiss ever was senior year of college - it was a metal party and I was wearing a sleeveless shirt with eye makeup. This girl came up and told me her friend on the lacrosse team thought I was cute. It was a warm lead because we were in the same Spanish club together. I went over to talk to her, sat her down on the couch, and started making out. She wanted to be pulled BADLY. Of course, I fucked it up and took the number and wanted to plan some romantic date because I was an idiot, and she ghosted.

Point being, parties can be warm or lukewarm approach.

- You're always going to see people at a party you know from other endeavors. Boom, this is now warm approach.
- Even for girls you don't know, the fact that you are at a *somewhat* exclusive party means that you are now "in" and thus they can trust you more. Much different than a random college bar.

I'm not sure what you mean by phone approaches.

I just meant approaching girls who are talking on the phone.

 

[NightRoller]

UPDATES/ACCOUNTABILITY:

For 8/18:
Exercise from RPD, shredded myself and felt nauseous. (See https://redpilldad.blog/2019/04/03/lift-motherfucker-lift/ )
(Squats 5x8; Bench 5x5; Deadlifts 4x5; Shoulder press/incline bench 3x5; Lat pull downs 3x5; One arm tricep extensions 3x5; One arm bicep curl 3x5; Incline sit-ups: 3 sets of 10)
Felt literally ill to my stomach and sore/achey like a cold after that workout. It’s been a couple weeks since I've been in the gym. As I type this, I’m feeling better from doing lots of walking around, but it sure as heck felt like I was sick as a dog for a while, barely even could eat dinner.

Did more diet research, started tracking calories with MyFitnessPalBought some tools (pan, olive oil, veggies, meats) to start cooking my own food with instead of relying on dorm food. Going to follow this guide more later: http://www.acaloriecounter.com/diet/

Planned to go out with wing to bars, to hit on girls and hit up bartenders. Instead, wing got a girl before we met, and me being rather weak in social/bar situations, I talked to some guys and some bartenders. Got a couple applications to fill out, need to go hit up some more bars and polish my resume. I know a spot that needs people, but it attracts an older crowd than the average college bar… but there are certainly pretty girls with the big tits I love there at least some nights, especially (American) football game nights, hanging out with their friends and daring a pussy guy like me to even try (I have next to no experience in bars/clubs/social game... less than 10 approaches, maybe less than 5).
Essentially, didn't approach any girls yesterday


==============================
Responses:

Would love to see some photos of this here (if you're comfortable).

These are examples of my more "nerdy" typical look (and these are decentish pictures, much better than my norm):
View attachment 4View attachment 3View attachment 2View attachment 1
And here are some examples of my work towards an archetype, with the last picture being the outfit that got me several compliments:
View attachment 5View attachment 6

Even for girls you don't know, the fact that you are at a *somewhat* exclusive party means that you are now "in" and thus they can trust you more. Much different than a random college bar.

Will have to be on the lookout for how to break into the party scene then. I'll put it on my calendar for next week.

I just meant approaching girls who are talking on the phone.

I saw it mentioned in some day approach videos (probably in A.G. Hayden's, possibly others' as well) that it's quite possible to do phone approaches, but I myself have felt queasy about doing them. I'm happy to let myself off the hook with the excuse she's on the phone though, so rude or not I'll take your advice quite happily on this point.

By the way, thank you pancakemouse for all these pointers. It's useful to get this kind of feedback and also makes this forum feel less like speaking into a vacuum.

 

[pancakemouse]

I would not recommend bartending at the older place - you want a college crowd, for game and social purposes. Being the bartender at a college bar comes with a big status and social boost, as opposed to an older crowd where you get none of it.

These are examples of my more "nerdy" typical look (and these are decentish pictures, much better than my norm):
20220724_130756.jpeg20220709_193250.jpeg20220703_155531.jpeg20220610_152400.jpeg
And here are some examples of my work towards an archetype, with the last picture being the outfit that got me several compliments:
20220726_184851.jpeg20220726_195119.jpegIMG_0039.jpg

https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/download/file.php?id=7804&mode=view

This is your best look. It's a huge improvement over the nerdy photos, with a lot of room to improve, as well.

Can you grow a full beard? If not, I would shave the goatee or leave it as stubble (3-5mm). You could look into minoxidil to fill out the rest of your beard.

Getting some badass boots would lend a lot of weight to that outfit. Some rings, as well, and layered chains. Probably not many guys on your campus are dressing like this so you could really fill out a nice niche with girls that are into this sort of look.

The jeans aren't quite right in ways I can't really elucidate at the moment. Really, they just look cheap (and I'm sure they are), especially due to the artificial wash.

Your hair needs a permanent trendy haircut. Uncombed, it's about 20 years out of date. I don't have hair myself so I can't advise further.

https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/download/file.php?id=7810&mode=view

I'm a bit surprised you were getting compliments for this, I think it's the weakest of the three. The jeans are far too big, the shoes are a nonstarter, and the aforementioned haircut, plus you don't look good in glasses - look into contacts or LASIK, a lá colgate

 

[NightRoller]

Updates/Accountability:

For 8/19 and most of 8/20

First off, I feel lightheaded and sick. I'll go into detail on the 8/20 part but this post is going to be fast and messy (relatively).

This will sound like a sop story. I hate that. But I can't get out of this headspace. Going to get it out now.

8/19
Met a past wing (see my blog) around lunch, chatted about game. Then did 1hr of approaching I didn't plan but was glad to be pushed to do. I approached 1 girl alone and 2 girls with a "hey you look hella familiar" (copying a line he used). He told me later that it wasn't congruent, I agree. He also wrote me a list later about the things he sees in me that need work. He's probably right on most/all counts; he's a solid intermediate (has claimed advanced, but I don't think he's read Krauser, he focuses on A.G. Hayden and Charisma King, and my judgement is intermediate).
I will write that list he gave me tomorrow, I'm super tired and distracted right now.

Went driving that night. Felt a headache all day since lunchtime; probably dehydrated but had to dehydrate more to make the 3 hour drive.

8/20
Got some stuff done where I drove to, then headed back. I didn't get enough sleep because of loud neighbors (who I know well, and who should know better), and woke up with sore legs and the headache. I believe I way overdid it with my workout before, the one by RPD; I'm eating well under maintenance calories, but worked out twice as hard as when I had been on a surplus, even with doing "low" weights (except the deadlifts and bicep curls felt awful by the end).

After driving back, felt sore and tight in my thighs again, walked around some later that night, which would normally help, but seemed to make it even worse after making it better.
Felt a little inspired because of listening to a PWF and a KYIL podcast on the drive back, and seeing hot girls as I drove back to campus.


Even worse, I wore a hoodie and with blue jeans and my usual haircut (straight-up, but today saw PM's message and will look into others more soon) I looked like a drunk doofus. 1 girl in a group of 3 party girls following 2 frat-ish guys called out a "Hey" to me; I kept walking by, saying only a "Howdy" with my head help high and thinking of not losing my pride. I then realized after how incel-ic it was to try to "hurt" the girls for pretending to hit on me.

As I walked, most people tried to avoid me. Maybe I'm in my head, but I heard about how appearance matters on one of Andy's podcasts.

Another guy in a group of frat guys called out to me a "hey" or "hello" while walking opposite direction to me. He said some more after, but I didn't realize he was talking to me until we'd already passed. Was too in my head from the party-girls. I thought to myself about how he needed to be louder so I knew he was talking to me and not just his group, and realized that's a lesson I should take myself even more.

Now I'm tired as fuck. Barely finished typing this in 40 minutes. I worry I'm feeling the effects of going too hard on a diet, and I thought I was doing okay earlier but now I can barely function and feel next to no energy, slightly more if I go out and walk a little, slightly less if I sit at my computer for more than an hour.


Fuck, I can do this. These are the growing pains. But I don't feel like I can do this at all right now. I can barely think, feeling basically drunk. I worry my muscles got broken down and don't have the energy to recover. I wonder if I should quit the diet for a week, get to feeling better, then ease into the workouts and stuff. I know I can barely make any progress on anything when I'm like this, I have a whole list of things to do just to live (chores) and haven't touched them this afternoon.

With luck, this will be my low point; a realization of how fast I can't go. And hopefully I'll get through this without needing the hospital either. That would be pretty embarrassing, especially if my parents saw.


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Replies:
(will reply 8/21 morn, hopefully)

 

[NightRoller]

Remainder of Update, 8/20:

I'm glad I typed out that update. I feel significantly better this morning. Hoping it's on the upswing, and not getting enough sleep was one of the things holding me back. But even when it's hard to write, if I can keep on it and do the bare minimum, I can keep going. I can improve.

Not much done last night after update, pretty much crashed.

The tips from my wing on 8/19:

Some of the biggest things you need to work on:
Charisma, with that you can get anything
Congruency, you often try to say stuff that doesn't fit the vibe you give off
Copy Chad (copy guys who get girls)
their:
- style
- vibe
- mannerisms
- etc.
See Blue Mountain State for an example.
Tonality, be more informal. You talk like a 30-year-old.

Work on these fundamentals from Charisma King (or someone):
1. Eye contact
2. Grounded
3. Attraction vs. comfort
4. Assume the positive
5. Emotional control
6. Tonality
7. Leading/dominance
8. Approach

Some notes I took from our conversation, plus from podcasts on 8/20:

Bar approach tips:
Acting like you know the girl, like a best friend "Hi, you look familiar!" (Emphatically!)
For positive state building, "High five let's go" with random people
Talk to everyone
Mention random shit in loud voices
Be exasperated with a girl "what the fuck are you talking about?!" (repeat-ish even as she says she wasn't talking about anything) "you, come over here!"
A challenge: gotta talk to people for the first 5 minutes in the bar, <30 seconds without conversation before talking to next.

Start with small goals, like talking to one or two girls in a night
(Inspired by Andy podcast
Be honest with girls, use honesty to relax, be chill
Find the happy medium in your vocabulary, the cross between attractive ways of speaking and what you're able to reasonably do, so you can stay congruent to yourself while also coming off as attractive.

My new, focused, time-specific goals I wrote out with a friend:

• Lose weight to the point of seeing unflexed abs by January
  Become a bartender before January
  Have at least one make-out in a bar/club by December
  Approach/talk to at least 100 people in a bar by October, because I suck at talking to mixed/female groups in "party" environments
  -Have sex with at least 10 new girls from now until January. (Not impossible, but likely hard because I have only had 5 intercourse excursions and will need to work on my social circle, nightgame, and online game a lot).

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Replies:

Can you grow a full beard?

Nope, I'll be going with stubble as per your advice (I definitely look too young without any).

Getting some badass boots would lend a lot of weight to that outfit. Some rings, as well, and layered chains. Probably not many guys on your campus are dressing like this so you could really fill out a nice niche with girls that are into this sort of look.

Your replies are gold. Don't mind me while I take note of and address each part ( )
I need to find some boots that scream "badass". I'll do some research.
I have a couple of cheap rings from Japan, but nothing that fits bigger than my pinky. Going to try and find some cheap metal ones in bigger sizes.
I'm not sure if by "layered chains" you mean necklaces, but I can search for some that look okay but fit my student-sized budget.
I struggle with the jacket though; it's still too hot to wear most of the time.

The jeans aren't quite right in ways I can't really elucidate at the moment. Really, they just look cheap (and I'm sure they are), especially due to the artificial wash.

Unfortunately, they were pretty expensive for me ($60) and lost their color fast. I think they, and the baggy black pants in the oither picture, would look better if I could make them "ripped jeans"... I'll look up how to do that at home better than just using scissors.

Your hair needs a permanent trendy haircut. Uncombed, it's about 20 years out of date. I don't have hair myself so I can't advise further.

Haha, I thought it was peacocking! Goes to show how little style I know. I'm also pretty clueless on finding good hairstyles I could do with my straight hair, even after doing much research, so for now I'm using "spiky hair" as a placeholder/improvement to "formal/nerd hair".

download/file.php?id=7810&mode=view

I'm a bit surprised you were getting compliments for this, I think it's the weakest of the three. The jeans are far too big, the shoes are a nonstarter, and the aforementioned haircut, plus you don't look good in glasses - look into contacts or LASIK, a lá @colgate

To be fair, most of the compliments came from nerdy guys/gals or people who knew me from before, with my usual "walked out of his closet with whatever his mom picked + blue jeans" look. Spiky hair is bolder than my old styles as well.
Agree on the jeans. I need to find better-fitting decent-quality black/dark jeans that don't cost a ton but will last a while, preferably ripped. The major problems are my budget and finding a place with a size that fits me well and will last more than a few washes.
Laughed at the shoe remark--When I asked a random guy to take my picture, I realized I was wearing my lazy shoes instead of my usual B&W Converse.
Will use contacts more often, still getting used to them.

 

[pancakemouse]

8/19
Met a past wing (see my blog) around lunch, chatted about game. Then did 1hr of approaching I didn't plan but was glad to be pushed to do. I approached 1 girl alone and 2 girls with a "hey you look hella familiar" (copying a line he used). He told me later that it wasn't congruent, I agree. He also wrote me a list later about the things he sees in me that need work. He's probably right on most/all counts; he's a solid intermediate (has claimed advanced, but I don't think he's read Krauser, he focuses on A.G. Hayden and Charisma King, and my judgement is intermediate).

In general, guys who follow Krauser do not get laid, guys who follow AG Hayden and Charisma King get laid.

This is because Krauser appeals to low status, nerdy guys that need to put in the hard work to get laid, and the latter two appeal more to the average normie who just needs to learn "basic game" and get out there.

Which gurus people follow is not a good rubric for what level they're at.

That being said, almost no one who claims they are advanced actually is — I do not consider myself advanced, for example, except at online game.

Got some stuff done where I drove to, then headed back. I didn't get enough sleep because of loud neighbors (who I know well, and who should know better), and woke up with sore legs and the headache. I believe I way overdid it with my workout before, the one by RPD; I'm eating well under maintenance calories, but worked out twice as hard as when I had been on a surplus, even with doing "low" weights (except the deadlifts and bicep curls felt awful by the end).

After driving back, felt sore and tight in my thighs again, walked around some later that night, which would normally help, but seemed to make it even worse after making it better.

L-Citrulline DL Malate has done a great job alleviating delayed-onset muscle soreness for me. In fact, it's one of the only supplements I've noticed a visceral difference from.

Your replies are gold. Don't mind me while I take note of and address each part ( )
I need to find some boots that scream "badass". I'll do some research.
I have a couple of cheap rings from Japan, but nothing that fits bigger than my pinky. Going to try and find some cheap metal ones in bigger sizes.
I'm not sure if by "layered chains" you mean necklaces, but I can search for some that look okay but fit my student-sized budget.
I struggle with the jacket though; it's still too hot to wear most of the time.

Try Shein for men's jewelry on a budget: https://us.shein.com/category/MEN-JEWELRY-sc-00857094.html

Agree on the jeans. I need to find better-fitting decent-quality black/dark jeans that don't cost a ton but will last a while, preferably ripped. The major problems are my budget and finding a place with a size that fits me well and will last more than a few washes.

Jeans do not need to be washed unless something spills on them. I've had jeans I've washed around once a year (though now with going out 5-6 nights a week I need to wash my current pairs about once every two weeks).

 

[pancakemouse]

..

 

[NightRoller]

8/21 Update:

Nothing significant made towards progress besides a call with my coach, RPD, and talking about my goals with a friend.

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Replies:

L-Citrulline DL Malate has done a great job alleviating delayed-onset muscle soreness for me. In fact, it's one of the only supplements I've noticed a visceral difference from.

Will check this out, it sounds good.

Try Shein for men's jewelry on a budget: https://us.shein.com/category/MEN-JEWEL ... 57094.html

Searching this later this week. Just a glance at it looks like it's a treasure trove for exactly what I'm searching for.

Jeans do not need to be washed unless something spills on them. I've had jeans I've washed around once a year (though now with going out 5-6 nights a week I need to wash my current pairs about once every two weeks).

Drastic difference from how much I wash mine; I'll change that. My family lives in the country around animals, so that's probably why we wash so often (2-3 uses for a jeans pair before washing, usually). I'll change that habit of mine as well and start folding them away when they aren't stained with something.

 

[NightRoller]

8/22 Update:

Talked some more to Red Pill Dad, talked about my goals some more and set some short-term focuses.

This coming week and a half, I'll be working on improving my looks and getting some decent jewelry, getting a bartending job, and dipping my toes into actually doing nightgame seriously (you know, actually talking to cute girls instead of just looking and thinking "dang, if only I could finally get up the nerve to approach").

After that, I will reevaluate, but for now it seems like the next step after getting some better clothes is taking better pictures with those better clothes (and my recently acquired iPhone) and upgrading my online dating results by paying for platinum after getting those better pictures.

 

[NightRoller]

8/23 Update:
Tried to go to two bars I have in mind for bartending as they're quite popular with my target age range, but I went at 10 and they were packed. Going around 5 today instead.
Bought a couple new band shirts, black with a logo, will have to take a picture wearing each soon.
Made a summary post of this thread, which you can see here.
Did a solid night but late to bed, no video games but a solid workout that didn't push anything hard and got my heart pumping/back sore. I'm keeping around 1750-1800 calories for now, with some extra for workout days, and while I still feel tired it seems functional. I forget how long it usually takes before the body (purportedly) starts getting used to running on its own fat and you don't feel so lethargic/dizzy/headachey/tired, but I'm looking forward to it.

pancakemouse I found a bunch of boots I'm curious about. I'll paste the list here for now, but hopefully one or two of these is close to what you mean by "badass boots". It's hard (for me, as of yet) to tell what's edgy-cool and what's just laughingstock.
(It's a long list)
(Doc martens) https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/6E57AC57-9FB8-46AC-94C4-9FCFE541EF96?ingress=2&visitId=d2ff1f3d-d764-4641-90e8-ab46486e0013&linkCode=sl2&tag=workoutandgymclothingbrands-20&linkId=dcf90bd1a00722469b870ee373f3dd00&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl
(another boot list) https://www.rebelsmarket.com/c/mens-boots-57?price=3
Individual boots:
https://americanlegendrider.com/collections/motorcycle-biker-boots/products/mid-calf-punk-boots
https://americanlegendrider.com/collections/motorcycle-biker-boots/products/daniel-smart-mens-black-engineer-soft
https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/trash-vaudeville
https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/dr-know-boots
www.trendhunter.com/trends/leather-velcro-boot-sneaker
https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/blockhead-boot
https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/dreamcore-boots-by-new-kid
https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/man-of-moods-2010
(You might get a kick out of these) https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/asher-levines-special-shoes

If you wouldn't mind looking through some of those and letting me know what's solid or likely not, it'd be awesome. I'll be asking some others' opinions as well in the meantime.

 

[pancakemouse]

I like this style:
https://www.rebelsmarket.com/products/men-s-brogue-pointed-toe-lace-up-bullock-zip-lock-chelsea-boots-196302?ref=category_page

Or these which are less formal:
https://www.rebelsmarket.com/products/handmade-men-black-real-leather-ankle-boot-mens-leather-boot-men-boots--124769?ref=collections

You don't yet have the frame to pull off anything super aggressive (even Docs), plus you're on a college campus so you don't want to go too overboard.

 

[NightRoller]

Update 8/24:

Made an appointment to get my ears pierced. Kept on my diet.
Went to 2 different bars and talked to some bartenders there, turned in my application at one of them (I should have photocopied it so I could turn it in again, the bar is one I know needs people but he said to my face "we aren't hiring bartenders, but I'll call you when we have a position open up"). I'm not sure how to be persistent from this point without being an annoyance, so maybe I'll give them a week. From what I've gathered by talking to bartenders at various places in town, that bar is my best shot at becoming a bartender quickly, and it does have a decent crowd with girls my age going in groups (and not just having frat guys buy their drinks).

Also, pinged several of my low-probability leads I'd soft- and hard-closed for dates (college girls are flakey and it's hard to get a date that's not a weekend with them), and one gal replied and asked if I was busy tonight. Long story short, got her number and she came over. Pretty hot black gal, huge tits and ass (using this video as a reference for D's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dABQKbsoPlk , the girl I saw had to be F, G, or H's. I'm tempted to show pictures (but don't have permission), because it's literally unbelievable how big her titties were).
I won't count as a notch per se towards my goal because we didn't do PV sex, but I jerked her off with my fingers and learned a couple things about sensitive areas in the vagina. She might be interested in some more future sexual interactions too, so notch potentially pending.

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Or these which are less formal:
https://www.rebelsmarket.com/products/h ... ollections

You don't yet have the frame to pull off anything super aggressive (even Docs), plus you're on a college campus so you don't want to go too overboard.

This looks good. $200, but if they last a while and I wear them often it looks versatile as a potential dress/dance shoe besides using it in nightgame. Going to buy a tape measure to make sure I order the right size.

 

[pancakemouse]

Nightlife jobs (even in college towns) are about:
1. Having "the look" or "the vibe"
2. Who you know

You don't have either, so you're going to be fighting an uphill battle.

First part to start with is changing your look and vibe, then you can work on networking your way into a position (yes, this is kind of the reverse of what you thought bartending would be giving you practice at, right?)

P.S. jerking off is generally a term used on males only

 

[Pluto]

I have worked as a bartender in a college town before so I can give some pointers for you.

If you are a guy, you will most certainly always start out as a barback before they move you up to bartender. Girls get a pass and can often get the bartending job right off the bat. To a degree it also matters about the nature of the bar but back when I was in college, each fraternity had alumni that owned a certain bar and if they hired any guys, it was usually guys from that given frat. Instead of walking in and talking to the bartenders during a busy shift, try going at a less busy time when the manager is likely to be around. You want to talk to the manager directly and make your case.

Some guys can BS a bar manager and get the gig right off the bat but this is more common in bigger cities where it is tougher to background check you. In a college town, all the bar owners know each other so its tougher to pull off. Your best bet would be to tell them you want to be a bartender and ask what it would take to get there. It is actually a lot to learn and working a busy night shift is no joke. You have to be able to make those drinks fast, keep track of orders (including open tabs), and most important not use too much product.

Most bars will start you out on a shift at a less busy night or even during the day when you transition to bartender. Night shifts, especially on prime nights, go to the most experienced staff. Not only are they big money shifts but they are also the toughest shifts due to the quick volume you are going against. The toughest part for me was always keeping track of the orders in a busy bar and getting the drinks on time. You will be surprised at how fast you can run out of certain liquors and drinks throughout the night.

I know this is out of the norm for you but a ton of people in nightlife also do MMA/BJJ. When I did it for a few months, I ran into a lot of door guys from college bars who told me that they need it to diffuse fights. My first ever gig at a bar (albeit barback but at a decent bar) came because one of the door guys from my months of doing Ju jitsu liked me and after almost a year (yeah I know it's long but it is like that in some places) it turned into a summer bartending gig.

Since you are in a college town, I can say that outside of talking to the manager directly during an off day or off hour (you can ask the bartenders when the manager might be around and say you are interested in working there), you could get quite lucky in an athletic hobby where those guys are likely to hang out. The same people that work at bars in college town tend to chase masculine hobbies in general or know guys that do. We had a ton of door guys and bartenders at my school who were a part of the club wrestling team and did MMA in conjunction to that.

 

[NightRoller]

8/25 Updates:
Struggling in some serious ways with this diet. I'm keeping my calories lower overall, but I've been crashing a lot even though I've increased my protein and fat intake and reduced carbs significantly. I haven't been hitting my protein goals, not even 100g per day (goal is around 170 g for maintenance of muscle while losing fat---I've been around 50-70 per day). Learning to restructure some things because I can eat more eggs and chicken and drink more protein shakes to change this.
But the biggest issue is the crashes. Yesterday I had a major energy crash. My morning meal was a bowl of oatmeal with several dollops of peanut butter, plus some carrots. After going to my classes and a school event, my whole body was overheating and my stomach was still full even 5 hours after I'd eaten lunch, and I felt lethargic and like not doing anything, even thinking. Ate a ton of blueberries (around 2-3 cups) and took a 1.5+ hour early evening nap to regain some energy. I ignored my calendar/goals for the rest of the day, instead choosing to play video games and writing notes to myself to fix my diet today.
No Nightgame, even though I planned to yesterday.

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First part to start with is changing your look and vibe, then you can work on networking your way into a position (yes, this is kind of the reverse of what you thought bartending would be giving you practice at, right?)

Yeah, I didn't expect it to be so much networking. And I need to learn how to leverage my connections better when talking to hiring managers, but that will come with time.
I think I had inflated expectations from a friend's story about a girl who came to her bar, got a drink, then mentioned she wanted to work in a bar but didn't have any experience beforehand, who got hired then and there. That's rare, and if I want to make this happen I'm going to have to try harder than that story made it seem.

 

[pancakemouse]

First part to start with is changing your look and vibe, then you can work on networking your way into a position (yes, this is kind of the reverse of what you thought bartending would be giving you practice at, right?)

Yeah, I didn't expect it to be so much networking. And I need to learn how to leverage my connections better when talking to hiring managers, but that will come with time.
I think I had inflated expectations from a friend's story about a girl who came to her bar, got a drink, then mentioned she wanted to work in a bar but didn't have any experience beforehand, who got hired then and there. That's rare, and if I want to make this happen I'm going to have to try harder than that story made it seem.

I bolded, underlined, and italicized the operative word.

 

[NightRoller]

8/26 Update:

Finished reading a diet walkthrough article series [link]
Got my ears pierced, have some small earrings. I plan to take a picture soon.
Swing danced some, but came in late because of errands.
Bought a scale to keep better track of weekly progress.
Ate enough protein (153 grams) and used fruit to get me through low-energy points, avoiding candy or junk snacks as I have been on this diet (but also trying to avoid overeating or energy-crashing).
Heard a party down my dorm hall, need to see about getting in with wine and/or girls.
Again failed to do nightgame, this time because of homework due tonight. Still have some of it left today before a date I have planned.


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Instead of walking in and talking to the bartenders during a busy shift, try going at a less busy time when the manager is likely to be around. You want to talk to the manager directly and make your case.

Forgot to reply to this yesterday, but thanks for the advice. I'll pay more attention to when I go and ask around about what times are busier/emptier.

The same people that work at bars in college town tend to chase masculine hobbies in general or know guys that do.

I doubt dancing will bring quite the same with random openings to bartending, but I'll keep my eyes peeled there and at the gym. Never know what will turn up. In the short term, I probably won't go as far as joining MMA or Ju Jitsu for it, but it sounds like a potential future option if I move cities.

NightRoller wrote: ↑Sat Aug 27, 2022 5:13 am
Yeah, I didn't expect it to be so much networking. And I need to learn how to leverage my connections better when talking to hiring managers, but that will come with time.
I think I had inflated expectations from a friend's story about a girl who came to her bar, got a drink, then mentioned she wanted to work in a bar but didn't have any experience beforehand, who got hired then and there. That's rare, and if I want to make this happen I'm going to have to try harder than that story made it seem.

I bolded, underlined, and italicized the operative word.

I realized this after reading Pluto's description of how girls can often get in easier, but I appreciate the humor