@Ali I'll try to focus on things you're probably not going to find from the average van life guide or youtuber.
Living
Most of the stuff you see amateur van life people whine about is actually pretty easy to take care of.
Cooking - get both an electrical hotplate and propane coleman grill top. That way you have two different ways to cook in case you either run out of propane or electricity.
Fridge - Get a fridge/freezer cooler. I have an iceco.
Water amenities - if you plan on boondocking (camping in the city) than skip the shower and toilet. You can just go to the gym to shower and public restrooms. Then you save on weight of not carrying a water tank and don't have to deal with plumbing.
Laundry - just go to a laundromat. Most have free wifi, so I just work while I'm there. Make your wardrobe as minimal as possible and only wear a couple outfits for the week. You won't have to do much laundry that way. Usually I have a work outfit and date outfit. Protip: go to one near a college and the people in there will be college students rather than low income individuals.
Electrical - You can make your own system for cheap BUT then you are responsible for when it shits out and you can only charge it from the engine or solar. I got a giant Jackery unit with a 5 year warranty. Lo and behold it shit out in the 95 degree heat one day, I sent it in and they sent me a replacement for free. Also I can plug it into anywhere with an electrical outlet to charge it or I can hook my solar to it. More expensive but less headache.
Internet - Forgot if you're in the us or not, but I use Tmobile's business internet 5G modem. It's like the 5G in your phone, but the antenna is much larger. Plenty fast for me, and that's doing video, graphic, and audio work.
Parking - so easy. I don't know why people make a big deal out of this. Just don't be a dumbass and park in front of someones house or a business. I usually find wide streets with undeveloped land next to it or a park that's not trafficked much. Before I enter a city, I pull up google maps and find several locations in the city and bookmark them in a "sleep" list. If I'm staying in one city for a long time. I'll rotate through these spots every couple days.
Working - Libraries are the best. Quiet, great seating, plenty of outlets (because I take in my Jackery to charge) and fast internet. I can go in everyday and they don't care I'm there. A lot even have study or quiet rooms I can take Zoom calls in.
Climate control - this is the hardest one honestly. You can insulate your van, but it will never be as good as an insulated building. Recommendation here is travel with the weather, south in the winter, north in the summer. When it's hot, park your van in the shade. Parking garages are great for this. When its cold, use extra blankets. If it's really cold, you can get both an electrical and propane heater (same concept for cooking).
Mail - I use a digital mailbox called Ipostal. They receive your mail and scan it for you. If its a document you really need, you can have them send it to you at a local post office. For any legal documents that need an physical address, this address works. I technically have two locations, one in WA and one in TX. Good luck tracking me down.
Car registration - Find a state you don't need to get an emissions test to get your tabs renewed and register there. If you setup a digital mailbox, that's the address you use to register with. You will still need to make a trip to that state to go into the DMV though.
Downsides:
- You're constantly thinking about power and when you will need to recharge again. I have a sixth sense now for electrical outlets. Even if you charge with solar, than you need to be always putting your van in the sun. But if it's hot out, you are now turning your van into a sauna just to charge. You'll never appreciate the modern amenity of electricity more after having done van life.
- You never really get privacy. You are constantly aware of other people around you. If you have your van doors open, everyone wants to peer inside. It can get a little annoying sometimes.
Social
If you're moving around a bunch, you need to find a way to get into social circles quickly. Depending on where you go, there is usually a van life group on facebook for that area. Nice way to meet others in the lifestyle. Otherwise, have hobbies that you can meet people through: rock climbing, photography, concerts, whatever. I also use Meetup.com a lot and look for pure social events and business type events.
When you talk about van life, you're going to have the same conversation with everyone. First, especially if they are a millennial, they will say they have always wanted to do it or they watch a ton of van lifers. Of course, they are too afraid to ever do it (something I tease girls about on dates). Second, they are going to ask you the same naive questions about parking, bathroom, etc. Then they'll ask you about where you have been and this is your opportunity to flex because this is highest positive attribute of the lifestyle: complete freedom to fuck off to wherever.
Social Downsides:
- Just because it has been romanticized and glamorized by social media, don't forget you are essentially homeless. SO if you come out of your van looking like a homeless person, unkept and raggy clothes, you're going to be socially treated as such. I make an effort to keep my van tidy when the doors are open and dress well.
- In the eyes of the law, you are homeless. So, if security or police speak with you, act cordial and listen to them. If you're in the states, check that states laws. Some have ordnances that you can't sleep in your vehicle or that it can't be parked in the same spot for more than 24 hours on public roads. Don't park in business parking lots because they are technically private property and if the owner of that building wants to be a dick, you can get charges for trespassing. Now, most of the time cops are actually pretty easy going about it. They've spoken to me on a few occasions for various reasons and I've never had an issue.
- If you do this long enough or stay in one place for a long time, people are going to ask you why you don't just get a place to live. Just keep on doing you. Live your own life.
- If you're an extrovert or social person, van life can feel really lonely. I'm introverted and grew up as an only child so I'm quite conditioned for the lifestyle and enjoy the solitude. That said, even I feel the loneliness at times, and that's with actively trying to get out to see friends or go on dates.
- If you're hopping around all the time, you'll never build a solid community anywhere. The internet helps, but nothing beats in person, face to face interactions.
Dating
On the apps, I have at least one photo of me and the van and put that I'm a nomad somewhere in my bio.
When you're on the date before the pull, talk about your adventures and all the cool things you have done. Don't talk about how it sucks when you have to take a morning shit and still need to drive to bathroom so you can do that. You get the idea - give them the Instagram glamour, not the realities.
On the pull, I usually give them the option. "We can go back to your place or head back to the van." I still find it funny how many are so eager to go to the van. Lol.
Totally possible to fuck in a van. Upside is you always have logistics. Most of the time I try to park somewhere secluded near the date spot for some privacy. However, I have parked in front of someone's house on busy street, in broad daylight, and pulled the girl back to the van. Just like you would for an apartment, you need to set the ambiance for the van so when you open the door, she says to herself "ok, I could have sex here." Make it clean and tidy, have colored mood lighting, light an incent, have the black out visors already up, and bed laid out. I had one girl tell me that it was so cozy and homey in the van that she totally forgot that we were in one and that we just fucked in a parking lot.
Dating downsides:
- If you're serious about dating while you do this, for the love of all that is holy, buy a van you can stand up in. You minimize the variety of positions you can do and it just sucks to try to maneuver around hunched over. Had I the foresight about how much I'd be having sex in there, I would have prioritized this.
- Second to that point, it's hard to be physically dominant in a small space. I'm used to having a huge bed to toss and manhandle them around, or having a full room to push them against walls or pick them up and toss them on the bed. So instead, you've verbal commands need to be strong. Instead of moving them into the position I want them, I often have to tell them now. So do that with a strong command. You're also limited to the type of kink play you can do in the van as well, if you're into that. That said, I do have a couple hard points in the steel frame of the van and did some interesting bondage back there, so it does have some uniqueness to it.
- If you're moving around a lot, retention is just going to be practically non-existent. So you'll need to face the emotional challenges of several ONS in a row. That said, I did have a couple girls I slept with multiple times, in the van, during the duration of my stay in that city.
Misc Pro Tips
Highly recommend getting a Ford, Chevy, or Dodge van as opposed to a Mercedes sprinter. When you break down in a sprinter, you often need a special mechanic to work on it. If you broke down in the middle of nowhere, you're going to be screwed. However, if you get a more common make and model, Bob who's been doing mechanic work for 30 years in his small town can work on it. Parts are cheaper and maintence is easy. A lot of stuff you can do on your own.
Occasionally you're going to go a little crazy cooped up in the van. I recommend doing housesits through either Rover or Trusted Housesitters. Some listings are just for a weekend, but I have seen listings for 1-2 months. Most of the ones I've done are for 1-2 weeks. It gives a nice break and many of the houses are super nice. I stayed in a 1.5 million dollar home near the waterfront in Seattle for a week and just had to watch a little puppy in order to do so.
Yessir, quality over quantity and authentic interactions are what I want, even if it costs me lays.
