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Living the dream/ Phase 1

Ended up talking to the girl I'm seeing, she left the party she was at just to come and see me at like 1 in the morning,
No Ed but couldn't finish, she's complimenting my dick loads now and seems to be really into me now that she's seen it when it's working lol.
Can't really believe it.
Lost 13kg.
Probably got a plate.
Grateful for this forum, I dont think anything is impossible anymore
 
Some updates and some thoughts.
I've actually surpassed the goals I set myself for this year at the beginning of this log: 2 lays (same girl counts) I'm currently on 4 with the same girl, not counting oral stuff.

However I'm feeling a bit cynical. When all is said and done it was the dickmaxxing and my physique that got me to the finish line. This girl has been implying she wants something more serious now, which was never the plan. I would be up for it but her bodycount is over the moon and honestly I could never trust her because of it. Maybe it's hypergamy or the idea of building something on lust but it seems like a bad idea.
I feel a bit bad for her as she's gonna hit her late 20's and seems to want to think about something more serious but frankly, the woman is insatiable and I'm sure she would always be looking for the next best thing.
With this in mind I've had a great time with her and should she bring up the conversation of 'what are we' I need to be honest with her and with myself. FULL ACCOUNTABILITY: I want to settle and take it easy but that is a mistake, a guy like me is too far behind the curve to just coast.
I will tell her I want to keep it casual even if that means ending this relationship, I will find more plates.
I also need to see what I'm capable with in terms of women to be more secure in my self.
 
Listen to your heart always man.

You may know the gal I was dating for a bit, and then just friendzoned, L

Awesome girl and honestly I like her a lot. Same thing with her, she's 28 body count of around 3 figures, and a very messy past - mine's also bad, but when a woman has truly run the mill their pair bonding ability is shattered and they are not quite right. L went on 5-6 dates with me and would clam up and begin shivering at any move I made, so nothing happened physically.

Best way forward is to get a solid one you're happy with, usually if they're younger, they're less likely to have gone down the rabbit hole into the sickest depravity known to mankind.

But these older chicks who've been through the meat market, man, they're just not desirable and we kinda know in our heart of hearts, this is 2nd rate, used up, unwanted goods here - this is a waste of my life force.

You will definitely be able to get better chicks, dude, you really will and you're showing great signs of being able to crack this and achieve abundance.

I want it for you man. It'd inspire me a lot and you deserve it man

R
 
I think it comes down to building my will.
It's crazy to get messages saying things like I make her happy and to have her drop what she's doing to come and see me and if I don't message for a bit she ask how I am ect, just being really good to me.
She will say she has been used for sex in the past and doesn't want that anymore and how its a big deal for her to have sex with someone because of her trust issues. But at the same time she will bang some dude at a festival out in the open after just meeting him (story I got from her friends)

I guess it is what it is, she still improves my life and has never been unpleasant or felt like hard work or that she doesn't want to be there with me, it's always been the opposite. But it would be truly foolish to stake my happiness on her whims and neither do I really want someone to change for me.

Those are problems for a boyfriend to worry about.

Thanks MakingAComeback I put a lot of weight on what you say and you are right, I can't honestly push myself as far as I can go and respect myself while knowing that on some level, I settled.
 
Hear you, man.

Honesty: If our heart isn't in it, we must confess and tell the truth.

Womans drive when the wall is about to hit is to lock down a provider.

L is in Thailand right now, she'll have banged a bunch of dudes (I'm not stupid) but she will message me asking us to book trips together and whatnot. I've friendzoned her but she tries to get out. Her biology is kicking and screaming for it, but to get what you want in life, you pay the price - women must deal with the outcomes of their life decisions. That is not on you to pay for the hedonism of others. They will find a beta (easily), and they will get what they seek. Just don't let that be you.

Onwards, man, find what your heart desires & fuck everything else.

R
 
Slept with main girl, went to a new years party and pulled another girl from social circle, went back to hers but she was on the rebound from some breakup so just kissed her and now sleeping downstairs on her sofa bed lol. Just didn't feel right, I'm not here to be used to make her ex jealous.

I feel very redpilled right now and to be honest I'm giving less and less shits about it. E.g I saw some guy at the club we went to stand around as the girl he obviously wanted to provide for made out with multiple girls and got very close to some other guys. I was just left wondering why he would give her all the benefits of his security when she was obviously happy to give her intimacy out to anyone.

Pretty sure I could have got 2 lays in one night though which is kind of surreal. The further forwards I push the more the terrain changes, I need to count my wins but the wins mean less to me now. The fairy tale world where I 'make it' just doesn't seem to exist.
Maybe that's ok. As they say you can't make a hoe a housewife.

Hit my workout, diet good, socialised, had good success with women - they're legitimately lusting after my body now. Drank a bit but it's new years.
Watched the KillYourInnerLoser podcast about recapping the year so will do this when I wake up.
natedawg I will take my first physique photo tm and document the roll down to an 8-pack
 
Spent the day with the girl I didn't sleep with last night, went on a walk, watched a film and talked about her toxic relationship and just basic man and women stuff and how many people seem to have emotional scar tissue from their relationships and live in a state of fear and co-dependance. I told her about how women with high body counts throw me for a loop (she's on 24) and she basically said fair enough.

Was really interesting to get a female perspective and it seems they have their own problems which makes me feel less callous.
The reality as a man seems to be that our worth is no greater than what we are capable of, while it's different for women. I think this gives us strength, but women don't have this and seem terrified to take life on on their own. A lack of providers and security seems like an existential threat to them even in the modern world.

She actually started escalating physically on me which is cool but also would clearly cling on to me emotionally which I just don't want.

Seeing main girl with friends right now and just taking some time to process the lessons I've learned.
I haven't got home yet so will post first physique pic tm.
 
natedawg sorry for the delay.
Had to wipe the mirror down as its cold at the gym but here's the first of many pics on the way down to an 8 pac
 
HAHA Fuck man you're a STUD

No wonder you're succeeding right out the gate

How long have you been training? What is your upper arm measurement? How tall are you?

KEEP WORKING,
MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
HAHA Fuck man you're a STUD

No wonder you're succeeding right out the gate

How long have you been training? What is your upper arm measurement? How tall are you?

KEEP WORKING,
MAC
Click to expand...

Thanks man. I've been lifting on and off for 12 years, got serious during the first lockdown and started making real progress, got even more serious in june when I joined here and learned that looks matter most.
Ran 300mg then dialed back to 250mg test enanthate for 16 weeks, (now cruising at 125mg a week) which helped me recompisition a lot at the same weight but has definitely changed my proportions.

I'm 6ft 2 not sure about the other measurements.

I'm pretty hyped your going hard on the body stuff, this screenshot might add some fuel to your fire haha.
 
FUCK YEAH

I will train hard as fuck, I promise you no one in the gym trains harder than me lol

I think I should be able to get a better body in 12 months

12 years man, you did some real hard core work here - respect, massive success will come, look how that lady responds to you, that is 99% of the battle man, just getting ATTRACTION.

If you're attractive you can just destroy this game LMAO

I think you will for sure, keep working man

MAC
 
2022 review took longer than expected but was well worth it.
Felt better to hand write it.
 
Sewerdog said:
@natedawg sorry for the delay.
Had to wipe the mirror down as its cold at the gym but here's the first of many pics on the way down to an 8 pac
Click to expand...

Brother, you are GEEKED. LET'S GO. You're looking solid!
 
Hey man, super inspiring log!

You don't even look like the same guy in your most recent pic compared to the pictures from the start of your log!

I hope you're using a pic on your dating profiles similar to the shirtless one you just posted, because your physique is truly elite.

Glad your ED is improving as well!


One thing you may try to continue healing is telling girls your naked with exactly what you want to hear, especially compliments about anything you may be insecure about.

So for example if you could use a boost of confidence about your body tell her to say things like:

"Sewerdog, you have the most beautiful, powerful, sexy, manly body i've ever seen and your naked body drives me wild with desire"

"I love getting fucked by Superman"

"You are a Greek god and I need your divine semen inside me"

or if you want to feel better about your dick have have her say:

"You have the biggest, most majestic, beautiful, incredible cock I've ever seen or felt"

"I love your cock"

"Your cock is perfect "

"Your cock inside me is the best feeling in the world"


Obviously these are just examples off the top of my head, you'll know what you need to hear so get creative and have fun with it, because if she likes you she'll be very very excited to learn how to turn you on and give you exactly what you need!
 
natedawg thank you! Let's get to absolutely otherworldly physique levels this year! I'll be sure to make these a weekly accountability post.

Manly Cockfellow Thank you! Your log shows beginners like me what is possible so that means a lot.
My OLD has been stagnant, the ED really shot me down so I pretty much stopped but I will update it with my 'new look'

The verbal stuff is a brilliant idea as when she has been verbal it's really set me off.
I'm sure I'll think of some good ones :)

Today:
Work
Rest day from gym
Dickmaxxing
Managed to get main girl to stop smoking and the one from new years to start going to the gym which I'm pleased with.
Will hand-write then type up my goals for this year after dinner.
 
2023:

Looks and health:
- Refine blasting and cruising protocols to find the best and healthiest stack I can (longevity)
- Commit to three bloodwork panels a year
- Skincare: probably my biggest weakness looks wise, find best routine including dermapen, retinoids, sunblock, moisturiser, supplements and potentially melanotan 2
- Get an 8-pack while retaining upper body mass
- Healthy diet, sleep and supplementation
- Build an upmarket wardrobe (looks not pricetag)

Women:
- Go from 1 to 3 plates
- Have a threesome (first girl is openly bi)
- Build an elite OLD profile
- Build/ join a new social circle with lots of women to pursue social circle game.

Sexual health:
- Fully defeat Ed. To do this I want to gain the same erection quality as I was able to achieve from porn. I really think it destroys the brains reward circuits and conditions you to get off to a screen. I also want to get rid of nerves and get myself 'in the zone' and out of my head easier.
- Reach 7' from PE (fat loss counts)

Mental:
- Positivity
- Self esteem - I am good enough and therefore should try really hard.
- Move towards reconciling red-pill world view towards women with the need to feel wanted/valued for who I am.
 
Should have mentioned this earlier, but I once had a girl compliment my flaccid cock when I couldn't get it up by saying something like:

"I love playing with a soft dick"

It felt really nice to hear, and talk about taking the pressure off!

Sewerdog said:
@Manly Cockfellow Thank you! Your log shows beginners like me what is possible so that means a lot.
Click to expand...

Appreciate you saying this.


You're doing great man, keep it up!
 
Been a quiet couple days as I have some sort of bug and car is at the garage again. Will try to sleep it off and come out swinging next week.

Weekend/week goals and to-do:

Looks:
Get tanned sunblock, new retinol as current one is still too harsh.
Find good window to use dermapen

Body: 4× lifting (3 upper 1 lower)
2× cardio (1 30min run, 1 circuit training)
Maintain slight defecit
Maintain cruise (125mg enanthate twice weekly administration)

PE: set up a hanging device (I thought this stuff was dumb then it started working lol)
Currently pumping and stretching EOD

Health:
Send away for blood test to see my numbers while cruising
Research more about hgh
At least 2 servings of vegetables a day
Research beneficial supplements (currently taking krill oil, vitd and k2, athletic greens)

Mental:
Continue reading through therapy materials (30mins daily)
1 affirmation and 1 point of gratitude daily
(Confront toxic shame, learned helplessness and abandonment issues)
Go on 2 walks in nature
Tidy room
Play guitar 1hr 30 mins eod

Social:
Hang out with friends ×1
Go to a meetup group and approach 1 woman
Go on date with main girl
Check in on new years girl (if she's in a good place mentally I'd defo like to start seeing her)
 
Weekend recap:

Been run down still but still quite productive.

Got new skincare products.
Managed one gym session despite feeling rough.

Tested negative for covid so went out Friday with friends and first girl. Saturday with the girl from New years who started grinding on me and clearly likes me.
Saw first girl this eve and had a few hours degeneracy in her car. ED is slowly improving; never thought of it as something that would improve by increments but that seems to be the way it's working.
Been making her go crazy with foreplay and oral in the mean time and have found a few triggers/ things to focus on that really get me out of my head. When this happens I get to full capacity and she gets so turned on which is pretty cool. She also drove down to see me which is a great sign of a healthy attraction.

Spent plenty of time in nature too going on some walks.

Gratitude: I am grateful for challenges to solve.

Affirmation: despite being run down and tired this weekend I still had two girls dtf.
 
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