Manga šŸ‡°šŸ‡·: October Update

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Link to original thread on GLL: https://www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/beat-approach-anxiety/144036


Day 11 ā€“ Cell Phones

Set 1 & 2- Whole Foods Was really, really easy. I didnā€™t think Iā€™ve ever felt so relaxed doing the drills. Lots of cute girls I talked to, did it all pretty fast.
Set 3 ā€“ Beach Easy and relatively pain free, it was kind of weird doing this drill because girls would give me the time, start to walk away, and then Iā€™d just start asking ā€˜em questions about the cell phones. Chris was right, it does start to feel nosey, and weird because Iā€™m asking them 4 questions a row, without any real dialogue or rapport. But thatā€™s what the make drill good, because after awhile I just donā€™t care what Iā€™m saying/
Set 4 ā€“ Mall Easy.
Set 5 ā€“ Few Random Stores This was the most challenging set. Felt tired, did not feel like doing it. The 3rd girl I talked to walked out of the store and looked at the parking lot to scout out any places that sold phones. She was super nice, and cute too. 4th girl was sitting with her friend, wouldnā€™t look at me, she didnā€™t give me the time, didnā€™t know any place that sold phones, wouldnā€™t tell me what phone she had. Like honestly was a horrible reaction, I know it had nothing to do with me. She was just closed off. Funny how the cuter ones are nicer.

There were some moments where I really did not care what people said, or even what I said to people. Other moments like set 5, I was self-aware, maybe too self-awareā€¦ Just much inhibition and resistance changes depending on my mood/tiredness.



===============================
Calories Yesterday: 1420
Goal: 1450
Approaches in last 7 days: 51

=====================================


From Canada.
I'm in Calgary now, but I was doing some approaches on Vancouver.


Quarantines is being phased out.

I started roughly a week after selected businesses were allowed to open. Restaurants and stores could open at limited capacity. And you're still *supposed to* keep a 2 meter distance, though the vast majority of people do not care.
 
Man I feel great. This was a really important Day.

Day 12 ā€“ Try #1

Horrible. I did 3 approaches in 2 hours of deliberate effort. It was fucked. I gave myself the entire afternoon, and I couldnā€™t get myself to say anything. People were walking away after I asked for the time, and I didnā€™t feel assertive enough to continue. I found it very hard to tell them ā€œbest boyfriend everā€, I just felt out of character saying it. I didnā€™t have the authority to interrupt people, so I wound up bitching out of 90% of the girls.

So after 2 hours of torture I drove back home feeling a million miles off my goal.


Day 12 ā€“ Try #2

Overall just awesome. Went to 3 different malls, 3 different grocery stores. Ran into some gorgeous women too.

Sets 1-2: Mall - Still felt weird about saying ā€œbest boyfriend everā€, but I kind of just said it and stopped caring about being a weirdo.
Set 3 Downtown: Saying ā€œbest boyfriend everā€ stopped bothering me. I just said it enough times and thought ā€œthat wasnā€™t so badā€.
Set 4: University Area Didnā€™t really find too many cute girls, but I finished the day wanting to do more, feeling on cloud nine.

Difference between Try 1 and 2: Building momentum and leaving areas when I didn't like them. shutting my thoughts off, and just doing it.

Lessons
  • Felt amazing, breaking through that adversity was really important, because that kind of proved ā€œOk I can do this, even if this is hard.ā€
  • Shrinking the amount of time I have to do a set, really helped. It meant there were 2 or 3 interactions that I normally would have disqualified because it was too easy. But it also meant finishing the drill.
  • There are some really cute girls downtown, and near good coffee shops.
  • Showing up is 90%
  • Just shutoff my brain and go approach. The more Iā€™m ā€œin my headā€ the harder the drills get. Not thinking, helps outcome independence.
  • This program fucking works wonders man. I started being anxious, and at the end of the day I felt unstoppable.


Side Note: Looks Matter
I was under the impression that looks donā€™t matter that much for maybe the last 8 years, but I just realized all my friends (who are good with girls btw) who said ā€œlooks donā€™t matter, itā€™s all about confidenceā€, never in their life were above 25% bf. Like it was madness to believe them, theyā€™re gym rats, nutritionists, fashion designers (seriously) and theyā€™re saying looks donā€™t matter. To be honest I donā€™t think theyā€™ve ever NOT looked good. That was eye opening and somewhat infuriating, there is SOOO MUCH misinformation out there. Not even redpill bluepill bs, just misinformation.

==========
Calories: 1460
Cal Goal: 1450
Approaches last 7 days: 56
 
Manganiello How you been getting on dude? I'll be starting the programme soon so interested to see how you're finding it
 
Hey dudes,

Been a while - I haven't posted on here in 6 months.

I'll just quickly update everyone what I've been up to:

What I've been up to last 6 months
- Lost 20 lbs. And officially don't look "fat" anymore.
- Everyone who hasn't seen me in awhile immediately complement me on how I look, which is actually cool.
- Feels like there's nothing more to figure out weight-loss wise. So I'm just going to continue til 155 lbs, and focus on other goals now.

What I'm up to now:
  • Doing the approaches again, I never finished the AA program, and even though it was intentional to stop and just focus on weight lost, it still irks me to complete it.
  • I didn't post regularly because I didn't see a point to update everyone on my calorie consumption each day but I see the benefits of it now.
  • I kind of hate new years resolutions, but I set a goal for myself post more on this forum.

So I'll start going into it now...
 
How I measured up against todays plan:
- Get to work at 6:45am (Miss - 7am)
- Consume 1400 calories (Done - 1385)
- Talk to 10-15 girls (Done - 16 girls)
- Leave work at 4:30 (Done - left at 4pm)

Now for the approaches
I did 3.5 days today... but it should be noted, these are all days I've completed earlier and I'm just trying to gauge where I'm at in the program (anxiety-wise) so I know where to resume.
So you'll notice me skip ahead on 3 of the days but that's because they were mind-numbingly easy.

Day 8, did one rep it was hard to start, but easy to do once I did it.
Day 9, Easy, Jumped right to the last rep of the day, had 0 problem with it.
Day 10, Harder - partly because I felt like the question I was asking was 'dumb'. But I did a full set of it, and it was kind of stupidly easy again. Talked to a girl who was actually super cool, and attractive too.

Day 11 - Decided to slow down here and do the whole thing:
Set 1
- Girl 1: Talked to 2 cute girls, was easy and simple.
- Girl 2: Talked to another attractive girl, easy, great response (wanted to continue the conversation, but I moved on)
- Girl 3: Talked to 2 girls in a store again, this was easy, response was great.
- Girl 4: Super nice, I was taken back on how nice she was, sometimes you can just feel how nice someone is. felt this way with here. She was cool.

Set 2:
- Girl 1: Easy
- Girl 2: Nice again, I felt some resistance talking to her because she was walking away from me, but I did it anyway.
- Girl 3: Talked to a girl working at a store, she wasn't attractive and honestly her response sucked too (whatever).
- Girl 4: Hottest girl I talked to all day, I had to follow her for like 10 seconds to finally get in a place where she could see me and I could say hello. She was cool.

Set 3:
- Girl 1: Easy
- Girl 2: I felt my energy waning, talked to her, it was ok. But I didn't ask for the time so I actually went back a 2nd time and asked her for the time.
That;s were I left off.


Overall
That was seriously the most fun I've had in months. That was such a rush. I felt so good after doing it and driving home. Like it was seriously a fucking high.
I loved how attractive the girls I talked to were.
I also loved how well the girls responded.

Last time I did this i was 20 lbs heavier, so I wonder if that's contributing to the good responses. It was for sure noticeable how much better the responses were now vs. 20 lbs ago.
 
How I executed on my plan today:
- Zoom Call w/Tim Grover (Done - it was ok)
- Start work at 7am (7:10)
- Leave work at 4:30 (Done)
- Talk to 6-10 girls (done)
- Eat 1400 calories (done)

Day 12: continued from yesterday
Set 3:
Girl 3 - Holy fucking hell these 2 girls were hot. Did not expect to find hot girls in the part of town I was in.
Girl 4 - meh wasn;t easy, wasn't hard. I think I was just tired.

Set 4:
Girl 1 - Saw me walking up to me and wanted to look away, pretty easy.
Girl 2 - Stores were getting dead around this time, only girl by herself was working.
Girl 3 - Nice lady who i had to say "hey" to 3x to get her attention.

Overall:
I think my schedule was to blame for this day. I had a Zoom call right at 6pm, and that made me start approaches at 7pm, and by that time I was tirreeed.
 
Today's plan
- Start work at 7 (done)
- Talk to 13-17 girls (done - 21)
- Eat 1400 calories (done)

AA - Day 13 - Nice Wine/Job Promotion

https://youtu.be/jz52ROK_GFo


Summary:
-- Accidentally talk to 20 girls instead of 16.
-- Got some serious momentum going, talked to 12 girls in 5 minutes or so.
-- Stalled hard on the last 2 girls. Very hard, probably looked like a weirdo n how I did it (but if anything, that's ok)
-- Mostly cute girls today, went to a good spot.
-- Lockdown is still on (but most stores are still open)
-- I'm finding the added time pressure of having only about a 90 minutes of time where people are actually in the mall, makes me do drills quicker.

-- Next up is ABC's...
 
- Get to work at 6:45am (7:00am)
- Eat & log 1400 calories (1500)
- Talk to 4-12 girls today (done - 7)

Day 17 - ABCs

Video:
https://youtu.be/ZoAAOAAGi_w

Summary:
- Good god man, not an easy drill.
- Huge Respect to anybody who's completed this program
- Most awkward I've felt in years
- Sung to 7 girls in 2 hours. (surprised I even got that far tbh)
- Most girls were uncomfortable, 1 girl found it funny. (the cutest one too)
- Going to redo this drill

Does something happen in life where everyone just becomes boring?
- All the older people were freaking weird about me singing.

Open to recommendations to how to get past these hard(er) days
 
I am just wondering what you were singing.
Do you think that any of the tasks on the programm can be integrated in a plausible context of communication in order to prevent awkwardness or is the awkwardness the butter and bread of the approach anxiety?
 
From what I recall on GLL, the guys who vlogged their AA program journeys were the ones who killed it.
 
[/quote]
lexluther_999 said:
I am just wondering what you were singing.
Do you think that any of the tasks on the programm can be integrated in a plausible context of communication in order to prevent awkwardness or is the awkwardness the butter and bread of the approach anxiety?
Click to expand...

Not really, it's bread and butter. The whole point is to feel the awkwardness just enough to be able to conquer it. I'm not done the whole thing yet, but the awkwardness DOES go away. It's like riding a bike/driving a car for the first time--- the nervousness goes away after awhile.

Adam said:
it seems like it hits on every one of my social nightmares. I'm hoping to go through it myself once I complete some higher-priority goals. It's one of those things I'm afraid of, so I should do it if only to overcome the fear of it.
Click to expand...

Yeah do it man. I'm like only 1/3 through the program and I can say my self-confidence is much higher.


[/quote]
Thebastard said:
From what I recall on GLL, the guys who vlogged their AA program journeys were the ones who killed it.
Click to expand...

Thanks man, that adds fuel to the fire.
 
Eat 1400 Calories (done - 1300)
Talk to 12 girls (Done - 14)

DAY 13 - ABCs (Round Two)

Video:
https://youtu.be/YebKYan81sU


Summary:
- I felt like THE MAN. Fucking Amazing Day
- Sung ABCs to one girl in front of 30+ people, definitely had the ALL-EYES ON ME feel.
- Most Reactions were quite bad (Few girls walked away on me when I was singing)
- Last 2 girls had really nice reactions.
- Totally worth it.

Lessons:
- Some people will just give bad reactions (That's ok because after a certain point there's not much I can do about it.)
- My job is to enjoy myself FIRST. How people respond is up to them.
- Thought: "Most people live boring lives following other people's rules, where nothing exciting happens."
- Reading predecessors's AA logs was really helpful. For this day.

Thank you to everyone watching/reading/posting on this thread, it gave me extra motivation throughout the drills.

Still lots more to do.
 
Epic dude! Congrats... I've already read many times this day is quite hard! :arrow_up: :arrow_up: :arrow_up: :arrow_up:
 
Giles said:
Epic dude! Congrats... I've already read many times this day is quite hard! :arrow_up: :arrow_up: :arrow_up: :arrow_up:
Click to expand...

Thanks man. I was legit afraid of this day, but it was actually fun the 2nd try at it.
 
All the memories are coming back reading this. I am proud of you man. I want to see you get to week 8+
 
Today
- Fixed Tire (done)
- Had to figure some stuff out for taxes (mostly done - yay)

Day 18b - Do you like my shirt?

Video:
https://youtu.be/IujMLylimts

Summary:
- Short day today (8 done)
- Really easy compared to ABCs
- I'm noticeably not as emotionally affected by bad reactions.
- Mostly good reactions/complements about the shirt

-----

Thebastard

I appreciate that dude, thanks. lol I don't want to know what's on week 8 :oops:
 
Day 18b - Shirt

https://youtu.be/6h7Fmls1ibA


Summary:
- Easy to do
- Mostly confused reactions from girls (Why are you asking me this?)
- 12 girls in 16 minutes or so.


Day 19a - Justin Bieber

https://youtu.be/oDKOZEI8RLo


Summary:
- Did 6 out of 16 drills, more of a time thing than difficulty... that being said,
- Opening with "Hey, how's it going?" vs. "Do you have the time?" Makes this drill harder.
- For some not asking for the time is harder... even though most girls responded quite well
- Found myself in my head more, and more situations had resistance
- Still quite doable,
- The Bieber part is easy tho
- I think every girl found the Bieber reference funny.



Lessons:
- Splitting the day up and trying to 1.5 days or just 0.5 of one day, and then 0.5 of another - does not work well.
- I find just having the sole purpose of my day to finish day 17, or day 18, or whatever day MUCH easier.
- Not ending the approaching session after completing 1 completed day doesn't seem to motivate me as much.




Other habits/goals
- Get to work at 6:45am (6:55)
- Eat 1400 calories (1800)
- Follow Skincare and teeth routine (done)
- Talk to CRA (Tax agency) (done).
 
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