PillowDrifter's progress log

Jobs and independence:
- I went full-in for my first job to the point I didn't get enough sleep for 4 days straights. I will organize my time better to do other things than code
- Went to 3 flat visits and postulated. All of them are now taken but I have a list of others for which I have to plan a visit.

Dating:
- Went on three dates this week: the first one was with the girl I approached in a bar, she's a ton of fun and we vibed a lot and ended up kissing. She had to work the next day but we have another date planned next week. The two next dates were nice but they were not interested.
- One date flaked at the last minute so I don't count it.
- Did go to the gym. I will plan for the next week so I can go at least 2 times a week to begin.
 
Today wasn't very productive:
- sent 4 flat applications
- responded to two girls on Hinge
- smoked 3 cigarettes
- read "loving what is"

I feel that my goals are not well-defined anymore and I'm barking at three different trees. In the meantime, I do not want to lose focus on my dating and independence goals as I feel they are clearly related. I'll put finding a flat and give my best shot for my first job as a priority.
 
Job and independence:
- Sent 4 flats application and organized 2 visits this week.
- Made some progress with my work and have a regular schedule. I will have more time to organize my goals.

Dating:
- Tonight date flaked but it's allright, i have prepared some others plans in case.

Addiction and mental health:
- 5 cigarettes
- Reading "Loving what is"
- Take antidepressants
 
Jobs and Independence:
- send three flat application.
- followed some lecture to be better at job

Tinder :
- went to a date, we weren't into each other
- went to a party with a friend, ended up kissing with someone I just met, but we didn't talked to each other after

Mental health:
- meditation
 
PillowDrifter said:
Jobs and Independence:
- send three flat application.
- followed some lecture to be better at job

Tinder :
- went to a date, we weren't into each other
- went to a party with a friend, ended up kissing with someone I just met, but we didn't talked to each other after

Mental health:
- meditation
Click to expand...

Cool style of logging, easy to go through and I like the consistency! Keep it going!
 
Spent the weekend in another town with a girl I have seen for some time. I woke up this morning with the feeling I wasn't doing enough to advance towards my goals or that I'm doing the same thing over and over without advancing much.
While reading the KYL Tinder guide and the AA approach program, I realized that I wasn't actually taking my goals seriously and just putting it as a fun hobby.
Telling myself to be serious helped me to achieve a lot today compared to the previous day, also it helped me focus on what I was doing now instead of the future.

Jobs and independence :
- Worked on some problems and followed some lectures. I'm happy because I feel I can bring new ideas to the research group and I'm beginning to think of it less as a job and more as a challenge where I can acquire some good connections and skills.
- Sent two flat application, there is not a lot of cheap flat near my work but I'll continue
- Made some contact for an association I have recently joined.

Dating:
- Jogging for 45 minutes and home exercise since I haven't the time
- Three matches and proposed to them to have their number. Got a number, the two other ones said nicely that they were not up for a casual relationship.

Mental health:
- loving what is
- journaling (gratitude)
- guitar improvisation
 
Today I have mostly worked and dealt with the absence of antidepressants. However, some good stuff happened:

Jobs and independence:
- gave value by helping and counselling other employees
- searched flats

Dating and sport:
- some matches and organized soles dates
- counted calories with fitness pal, some shy abs are appearing
- some nudes with an old date who is travelling

Mental health :

- I argued with some friends and brought the subject to my parents as I still live with them. At some point, they pointed out something that startled me as I felt it was not true. I don't know why but instead of going on the defensive, I thought "Why would they think that" and automatically assumed that they were good persons with different points of view as they only knew me partially. Felt instant peace and it ended to be a joyful moment.
It may doesn't sound like a big deal but I was surprised by how easy it is to reframe negative critics as a way to understand how much of you other people can see.
- journaling (gratitude)
- guitar (improvisation)
 
Job and independence:
- visited a flat and sent application
- got contacted by a recruiter on LinkedIn and checked some opportunities for another job

Dating:
- went to a date. She was not interested in getting back to my place. Usually I try to feel the moment when I can propose to go back and watch a movie, but I might overthink it and it's not perfectly honest.
- proposed a date to a girl I met yesterday in a bar

Mental health:
- loving what is
- journaling
- guitar
 
Jobs:
-worked, i feel my work is getting boring so I'm looking for other ones. The thing is I have no idea what to do with my skills and life.
- sent one flat applications, turn down another one who turn out to be a scam (no money was lost)

Dating:
- bad luck, i organized two date, the first girl flaked at the last minute and it was too late for the second. Had to reschedule for the next week but it might be too far.
- some matches on Hinge
- grinded sole experience with the camera

Mental health:
- loving what is
- journaling
- guitar
 
Consistency is the key

Jobs and independency:
- got the contact if other research groups, will contact them to find a second job or to prepare for the next one
- calls for 10 flats, have three visits planned

Dating:
- met a girl I am texting at a party, we discussed a bit and she went see others friends
- matches on Hinge

Mental health:
- journal
- loving what is
- guitar
 
Jobs and independence
- Reached out to two professors for a PhD
- Sent two flat applications

Dating and sport:
- Went to the fitness : leg and biceps curls, abdominals, lat pulldown and started to learn how to weightlift.
- Have two dates organized for this Monday

Mental health:
- loving what is
- from 6 to 3 cigarettes a day
 
Lets go !

Dating and sport:
- Go to the gym 3x per week : Counting this Saturday, I went three times to the fitness for one hour with a routine consisting of abdominals, lat and biceps pulldown, leg, and lat curl and weightlift.
- I had two dates and the two girls declined politely to go back to my (parent) place. Still pretty far from the threesome, even if an old date will be back in town at the end of the month and up to date together other girls.
- Take back the AA program from Day 6 and go on. I'm getting back to being pretty shy in the street and approaching. Once I get back to my town (I will be traveling for a school event the rest of the week), I'll allocate some time to continue the AA program between work and the bus station.

Financial independence :
- Apply for jobs (get your shits together) can be considered done. I have received my first salary today. The next step is to give the most value to my job. Find a flat (long-term goal) and possibly prepare for more serious jobs and/or start a business in photography once I have some better experience.

Mental health:
- Loving what is was really food for thought and I'm doing the 5 questions whenever something is bothering me. It helped me a lot to deal with stressful situations and to discover myself.
- Meditation
- Still back at smoking 6 cigarettes tough (mostly social smoking).

Overall I'm pretty happy with the progress even if it is slow, I can do clearly more.
 
Dating and sport:
- the gym for 1 hour: Bulgarian split squat, weightlift, biceps, and triceps curl
- Made a cold approach for the first time at the gym. I had the impression to have forgotten how to speak but managed to tell her that I found her cute (which was true) and that I was up to having a drink together sometimes (which was also true). She was super friendly but she had a boyfriend and we went politely on our separate ways. Nevertheless, it was super cool to surmount the anxiety (act first, think second), somehow I expected the whole fitness to laugh after that but nobody cared and went with their business.
- It's been a time since I had a serious match on Tinder, I changed my camera for a better one and I'm collecting cool pictures. Also starting the style journey with www.theessentialman.com and going to get that better haircut.
- Took back AA on day 8, I just approached two persons but it's a new start.

Jobs :
- Organizing interviews

Mental help:
- Reading Loving What is
- Meditation
 
Dating and sport:
- Went to the gym
- Tonight's date was cancelled as she was still travelling.
- put some new pictures with a more "fuckboy" vibe on Tinder and Hinge and got some matches
- Haircut (short and well-trimmed)

Jobs and independence:
- Had a flat proposition, if I sign, most of my salary will go for the rent but I'm up to get my place to start, and I will find a better or second job. I'm still anxious about the money shortage but ill make it worth it.

Mental health:
- applied some technics from "when I say no I feel guilty" which helped a lot defuse some confrontations.
- Continuing Loving what is
 
Sport and dating:
-Sent to the gym, prepared a weekly plan to meet the "gym 3 times a week" goal
- Took some pictures for tinder profile with new camera
- Got some matches and messaging

Independence and Job:
- Preparing to move

Mental health:
- meditation
 
Jobs and independence:
- signed the contract for the apartment
- send an application for a second job and got an interview for the next week

Dating and sport:
- gym goal 1/3: one hour with leg curl, lat pulldown, abdominal, dumbbell walking lunge and Russian twist
- went to a party, this time I was approached by a girl and we exchanged numbers. Going to message her tomorrow
 
So last week's update:

- go to the gym 3x per week (3/3) : Went to the gym three times for one hour, working on the whole body with legs, biceps curl, Russian twist, Bulgarian split squat, and deadlift. I'm beginning to get compliments from dates and close friends.
- Have my own place to live : I just moved into a flat in the town center, it's close to everything and it massively helps with dating.
- Financial independence from my family : My first income is enough to cover the rent and basic needs. Still to rely on parental support for healthcare.
- Have a threesome with two girls : I started to date heavily from my standard (2-3 dates per week), there are two girls I date that are up for a threesome. I'm sending pics and messages to organize one for the next week. I'm anxious af but hey I'm allowed to suck and there is no way to know if I'm ready/enough unless I try. Will buy the famous threesome guide once I work out how to pay from my country.
- Apply for jobs (get your shits together) : this one I slacked off. I'll aim to apply for a least three jobs each week and hone my skills.
- Take better dating app pictures : I have found a good camera and we take pictures with a good friend with the template of Andy.
 
So last week's update:

Dating and sport :
- Went to the gym for 45 minutes: deadlift, Russian twist, Bulgarian split squat, abdominal and legs curls
- Have a threesome scheduled for the end of the week
- 3 matches on Tinder and Hinge

Jobs and financial independence :
- Passed the first round of interviews for a job in a bank
- Applied for 3 jobs online

Mental health:
- Reading No More Mister Nice Guy by Dr. A Glover
- Still taking anti-depressors but it is the occasion to bond with a co-worker at work who is currently going through depression. We are helping each other to overcome it now
 
Dating and sport :
- Went to the gym (1/3) for one hour: Lat pulldown, chest pull down, Russian twist, abdominal and Bulgarian split squat
- Have a threesome with two girls: We met at a bar near my place and went after a bit. It was super hot and fun! I was impressed by how much the girls were into each other even though they just met 1 hour before. They are up to set up another one but they are pretty busy this time. Have to read the Tinder guide on retention. To be honest I thought that having a threesome would help with self-confidence problems but I feel like the same old nerd.
- Organized two dates for this week and the next.

Jobs and financial independence :
- continue the job
- Carry out interviews with banks

Mental health:
- Reading No More Mister Nice Guy by Dr. A Glover
- guitar
 
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