Went on date #3 last night! Nice Japanese girl from Tinder, she's just moved to the UK and wants to meet people. Date was fun, really enjoyed it, she was absolutely frickin' adorable and the experience was wholesome and lovely. Gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and that'll be that. Again, this is a process, I will get to 8 dates, keep improving myself in every way, and I am sure there will be girls who I can date in the future who I am attracted to. Nonetheless, I had a great evening and she was so cute, bless her. I AM VERY HAPPY I WENT ON MY 3RD DATE. VERY FUCKING HAPPY.
This means a lot to me. You may not understand, but when I joined this forum, I was truly destroyed in every way possible and thought I would never get a girl to even reply to a text, let alone spend a whole evening with me.
To the absolute underdogs of this world, we are so fucking hungry, if you throw us a scrap, it's the most delicious gourmet Michelin star meal you could imagine.
Today I am going to grind my butt off, it's thunderstorms, so no cold approach, but everything else will be annihalated.
MAC 2021 GOALS STATUS UPDATE - REFLECTIONS
(1) Weightloss: Currently 206.6lbs, record low. Goal is 200lbs. FUCKING CLOSE!!!!!! I came here at 248.8lbs and damn hopeless about even losing 2lbs. If I get to 200lbs, fuck me, I am going to absolutely lose my mind.
(2) Dating: Currently 3 dates. Goal is 8 dates. Will cold approach daily, apart from when it's thunderstorms like today, and will do boosts and tonnes of work on OLD daily.
(3) Career Change: Finalising remote work contract for Program Manager role, which will be 20hrs a week, so reduced hours to enable me to build a 'good' enough dating and sex life to realise my potential as a man and pursue a serious long-term relationship with a view towards marriage and children by 2025 latest.
(4) Enjoying Life: I am mostly hustling my face off, working every single day. I am going to take next weekend to hang out in Brighton with my best friend, we'll see a techno gig (808 State) on the Friday, and will spend Sat and Sun just chilling out, walking around, being on the beach, etc. I will approach Sat and Sun night, but will limit drinking to 2 beers max, and will find a way to get 5 cold approaches in, though I am with my boy who is a totally non-self improvement dude (lol).
MAC'S STARTING POINT @ KYIL
-Obese (248.8lbs @ 6 ft 5)
-Had suffered from murderous anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, very low self esteem for 10 damn years
-Totally, totally hopeless after endless defeats
-Virgin
-Never been on a date
-A voice began to torment me in my own head of throwing my potential away, and some people in my life began to call me a loser, laugh at me, take pleasure in my hopeless predicament. I began scouring the internet with nothing but desperation. There has to be SOMEONE who can help me, somewhere....
March 2021: Me, obese, mentally absolutely defeated, totally destroyed in body and mind, you do not know the suffering I was enduring, escaping facing the enormous lack in my life through deep workaholism, working every second of the day to just avoid having to look at myself and to gut up and see the void that was growing every year. I was fucked 50 different ways and truly thought I was the ugliest most disgusting piece of crap in the world, who was going to die alone and there would be no one to blame but myself. The early years of fighting through very high anxiety and trying to make something of myself and failing so many times left deep, howling, lacerating scars, and it took years to find some form of strength to go into self improvement AGAIN....but I knew in my heart of hearts I will have to gut up and get it done, and by this point I was truly so desperate and had nowhere else to turn but Andy and this forum. There was not a single person out there in the whole wide world I believed could help me, and there was no other community on the internet I could find who I saw any value in. I came here, gutted up, and was clear that I am DEAD ASS serious and I must make it, no matter the blood sweat tears and mental breakdowns that will come, I absolutely absolutely MUST MAKE IT. I am grateful that everyone was super easy with me at the start of this journey because fuck me, I was in a fragile place psychologically.
The feeling of looking at yourself and the mirror and being so disappointed in what you see is one of the most painful experiences you can ever imagine. I cannot describe the horror I experienced when I saw my own reflection at this time. The pain was so raw, so cruel, I would think back to my childhood, being a happy carefree child, and then would be crushed by what I saw in the mirror. "I let myself down, I let my family down, and I have fucked my life up bad"
I will be 100% honest, however, at no point in my life have I ever believed I would not overcome everything that is working against me. I have always had the warrior spirit because I have had endless challenges since my early childhood and I always overcame them.
While I was truly broken as a person in mind and body, there was something left in terms of spirit, because that part of me is beyond this world itself, it's the soul, it's the immortal part of a man that goes on forever, and I actually believe I have the warrior spirit within me. Nowadays, I am convinced. But reflecting on this journey to date, when I joined the forum in March 2021, there was SOMETHING left....not a lot, but something. I had overcome extreme anxiety, insomnia, brain fog, cognitive dysfunction, herniated discs, panic attacks, phobias, serious breathing problems, chronic fatigue, among a laundry list of other issues, and now had recovered just a few % of my spirit. It took finding Andy to start believing I could make a comeback. "....This guy, Andy, actually did it. He overcame unbelievable odds, came from nothing and became something. I do not fucking know how I am going to do this, but I am willing to fail over and over and over and over again, for the rest of my natural life if needs be, until I succeed. If I have to die trying, still cold approaching, trying to build my body, improve my style, and taking OLD photos on my death bed a decrepit old man, so be it. I must leave this world knowing that I FUCKING TRIED"
Once I found Andy, I knew in the back of my mind, another guy out there gutted up, got over his bullshit, and went downright barbarian and ploughed forward with every ounce of energy he had in his body....and he made it.
I am going to have to do the same thing boys. I am going to have to gut up and get it done. I am still building up, I am FAR from there yet, but I will keep trying every single day man....I will keep trying over and over and over again.
Right now, I am better, but I am STILL NOT SHIT. Nothing at all. But I am willing to genuinely grind myself into a powder to become somebody I respect. Nothing else matters to me.
MAC @ 7 MONTHS OF KYIL STYLE SELF IMPROVEMENT, SUPPORTED BY ANDY, PRIVATE COACHING GROUP, AND THE FORUM COMMUNITY
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-Lost Virginity
-Began OLD
-Began Cold Approaching
-From 0 Lifetime Dates to 3
-Lost 42.2lbs Bodyweight
-Improved style
-Gained a promotion and moved to part-time remote work
-Now, in the process of moving to London, and will restructure my life to focus the MAJORITY of my time in fixing my dating life
-Building a wellness brand
-Expanded my network and connected with incredible ambitious men I truly respect
I will bleed in the gym, in the streets cold approaching, and will take OLD pictures again and again. I will push for dates a thousand times. I will keep improving myself at every level.
AND I WILL SUCCEED. Success will come one day.
Again, this is a journey. I am FAR from there yet.
When I have put a ring on the woman of my dreams and my first child is born, my journey will switch to family life and I will go hard at that as I am going to go on this journey. This will be the ultimate victory for me in life, and one day, I will know this all transcending glory. One day.
NOTE:
I WANT TO THANK EVERY SINGLE PERSON HERE WHO HELPS ME
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS THE GRATITUDE I HAVE
I am a humble man on a journey, and the fact that people in this community spend their own free time to help their fellow man have a chance at a better life is sincerely a beautiful thing.
WE ARE ALL GONNA MAKE IT, we will kill our inner loser, and we are going to make it the right way:
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
HARDCORE ACCOUTABILITY
DEEP WORK ETHIC
CONSISTENCY
RESILIENCE
RELENTLESS HARDCORE SELF IMPROVEMENT
One day, we will leave the battlefield victorious.
Until then, we grind.
MAC