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Ravi, Year 3: Self-Improvement Log - Data-Driven, Incremental Growth. Feedback Welcome. Ego & Defenses, Dropping [Its Done]

MattsCrib Definitely, the looks department will need a lot of work. I will get there. Once I get to 200lbs I will post my pics and get honest feedback.

Morning Weight: 244.0lbs (down .04)

Sleep: Got up at 5am, which was 30mins before my alarm, but I didn't have any interruptions in the night! Usually wake up 2-3 times, so this is good!

Now to hammer my day.
 
mufagga is 6'5" brah did you make sure that's your tinder bio???



This is my bio, it works.

Otherwise, keeping improving the looks. It's worth it!
 
Really that bio works? God damn, I didn't know you could have one as simple as that. Mine did have my height on it yeah! I'm not fully sure on the details as I stopped trying 3 years ago, but I think my Tinder was a few quirky lines, and then about 5 bullet points, the first one was "Giant - 6 ft 5", and then it was my hobbies, "Guitar", "Language Learning", "Travel", "Photography".

Girls don't really care about our hobbies and stuff huh? Just more about looks I guess? Which is fair enough of course, I think many blokes are just the same!

Hey thanks man, I will keep hammering it. I also see that you are at my goal weight already and are also a giant bloke - fuck yeah man, you're on the money there. Appreciate the encouragement bud it means a lot.

Cheers guys,
MAC
 
The bio isnt really important
Mines like

'Got my own place in the city
I'm 28
6 ft 2

Don't steal my favourite shirt'

But for the journey of making a decent profile that works internalise the following

THE PICS ARE 99% OF WHAT MATTERS
 
MakingAComeback said:
Girls don't really care about our hobbies and stuff huh? Just more about looks I guess?

They sincerely don't give a rats arse about our hobbies. It's kinda sad but I promise ya, sex will make up for it.

This is not to say that all girls are emotionally bankrupt sacks of meat. Most are just too focused on them to care about you. Eventually you'll find girls who have a genuine interest into you and what you do, and they're the ones you'll have the strongest feelz for.
 
Agreed. I've also experienced the "they think I'm dumb until I open my mouth" phenomenon. Few years back I was introducing myself as a trainer and girls always thought my interests were "eating chicken and rice every 3 hours" and "bench press". Afterwards they were impressed when they realized how well-read I was.

However, I was talking about interests/hobbies in the context of Tinder bio. If you have a cool hobby, it's better having a pic demonstrating than saying it in your description. "Show, don't tell" as we say in advertising.
 
Radical said:
The bio isnt really important
Mines like

'Got my own place in the city
I'm 28
6 ft 2

Don't steal my favourite shirt'

But for the journey of making a decent profile that works internalise the following

THE PICS ARE 99% OF WHAT MATTERS

Damn the line about having your own place, how did I forget that
 
Looking forward to seeing your progress, man. Looks like you'll get a lot of mileage out of losing the extra weight. Props to you for keeping a good attitude despite everything and still going after your goals.
 
Radical said:
The bio isnt really important
Mines like

'Got my own place in the city
I'm 28
6 ft 2

Don't steal my favourite shirt'

But for the journey of making a decent profile that works internalise the following

THE PICS ARE 99% OF WHAT MATTERS

I guess I have been quite naive here, really. This is good because I can work with this.
 
Crisis_Overcomer said:
MakingAComeback said:
Girls don't really care about our hobbies and stuff huh? Just more about looks I guess?

They sincerely don't give a rats arse about our hobbies. It's kinda sad but I promise ya, sex will make up for it.

This is not to say that all girls are emotionally bankrupt sacks of meat. Most are just too focused on them to care about you. Eventually you'll find girls who have a genuine interest into you and what you do, and they're the ones you'll have the strongest feelz for.

Fuck man. It does make sense. My colleagues at work and my female friends know I am passionate about various things but it's not really something they are energised to talk about, lol. But perhaps there will come a day where I find something that will work. I've honestly never been a very sexual guy, sex drive has always been low mate and was kind of a bit of a dumbass looking for romance and love. Cringey shit I tell ya.

As for the sex making up for it, haha, I am going to accept what you are saying here and will hold you to it - watch this space, I'll drag this post up when I am able to finally lost my virginity and will let you know LOL
 
Phoenix Arise said:
Crisis_Overcomer said:
They sincerely don't give a rats arse about our hobbies. It's kinda sad but I promise ya, sex will make up for it.

This is not to say that all girls are emotionally bankrupt sacks of meat. Most are just too focused on them to care about you. Eventually you'll find girls who have a genuine interest into you and what you do, and they're the ones you'll have the strongest feelz for.

I mean, it depends...
I once read on a typical bluepill PC relationship advice subreddit that there are no attractive hobbies, only compatible hobbies. (that comment had a few thousand upvotes too!)
Now, that is obviously false if you have even basic social acumen. There are obviously more attractive and less attractive hobbies. Compare being a guitarist in a local band that does gigs in packed bars and playing videogames competitively.
I think I don't need to explain which one is more attractive and why.

Attractive hobbies tend to be cool and social.
That being said, if you are already attractive, girls may very well find your hobbies attractive even if they aren't strictly speaking attractive in and of themselves.
If you demonstrate passion, masculine drive, diverse interests through your hobbies, they may very well be perceived as attractive.

Moreover, having status in any kind of hobby can definitely help you get laid.
I have seen quite average guys getting laid with great ease by being leaders of student clubs. And I'm not talking about strictly speaking attractive things, even debate clubs, political discussion groups, reading circles and the like fit the bill perfectly. Dozens of fresh young hot girls would enter these clubs at the beginning of every semester and the leaders would tutor them, teach them some stuff, they had status in their communities and the respect of other members. Of course they got laid!

In my case, I am a huge history nerd. Most people that meet me have never met someone who's more historically knowledgeable in their entire lives outside of professors (and I say that with perfect confidence).
And it comes up quickly in conversation.
I often use it as a foot-in-the-door kind of thing. I meet a lot of internationals from dozens of countries around Europe and the world and the vast majority of the time I vaguely know the place and a bit about its history, which I can reference.
This immediately sets me apart from everyone else in the room because I already have a reference point to build on with the girl.

Example 1: One night in the bar I introduce myself to this girl. She tells me she's from a small village outside a large city in Norway. I immediately go aha, you mean Oslo, Bergen, Trondheim, Kristiansand...?
Right off the bat she's impressed. That's 4 more Norwegian cities than most people know and 3 more than 90% of educated people know. She asks me how I know so much about Norway, I tease her a bit and tell her there's a lot of things she doesn't know about me and so on. Immediately we're off to a good start.
We still talk and she's been back in Norway for a year now.

Example 2: One evening at a student debating club simulating a NATO session where I'm playing the role of Lithuania this girl comes in. She sees my country placard and being Lithuanian herself, offers to help me out. I tell her I don't need help understanding Lithuania and quickly rattle off some basic points about Lithuanian culture, history and politics to prove it.
Let's just say she's beyond impressed. Most people barely know her country by name and I've just referenced her country's mythical founder. Especially in the case of countries that have a strong national pride (Lithuania definitely being one of those) this is not just a foot in the door, it's more like blowing the door wide open with a bazooka.
Yup, I fucked her that same evening.
Did I fuck her by being a nerd? No but I don't think I would have fucked her if I weren't a nerd.

There are many more examples where I don't think it necessarily helped me get laid but girls tell me that they find my incredibly broad knowledge very hot. They like the fact that they can ask me a question about some random thing and I can give them a half hour lecture that will actually be comprehensible.
I don't think they like it more than my big biceps but whatever, I don't read history to get pussy.

Another important point, it leverages a juxtaposition like GLL talks about here: https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/fundamentals/swag-factor/mr-juxtaposition
I have cultivated quite a bit of edge in my appearance (earrings, clothing, beard, accessories, muscle, tattoos coming soon!) and this often creates the impression that I'm a dumb meathead.
Well, it doesn't take long after I open my mouth for that to be proven very, very wrong.
What's nice about the topics I can talk about is that they're approachable for almost all people in everyday conversation. You could have a degree in astrophysics but how many people can you really talk about that shit with?
Whereas social matters seem like natural discussion topics.
In fact multiple women have explicitly described this phenomenon to me (I seem like a stupid meathead, I start talking and they see I'm not and the contrast is hot) so I know it works.


Cool post and fuck yes to being a history buff! I like history, I'm not a huge buff, but I do enjoy it and find the past such an incredible educator. Was big into Ancient Rome for a few years and had an amazing time travelling to Rome (which is beautiful, and man were the women pretty!) and then got into Ancient Egypt after that. Was on a big Graham Hancock binge for ages.

I was very passionate about the subject I did for my degree and you could clearly see in class, was a good debater and liked to engage in discussion, but for me the ladies were not necessarily into it! So I am not sure what to make of it overall but I will figure something out.
 
Adam said:
Looking forward to seeing your progress, man. Looks like you'll get a lot of mileage out of losing the extra weight. Props to you for keeping a good attitude despite everything and still going after your goals.

Shit thank you Adam that means a lot - I will show up every day and do my damn best.

Oh I don't know brother but I will not quit. :)

Cheers,
MAC
 
Morning Weight: 244.4lbs (bit of fluctuation. standard stuff)

Work was good!

After work, studied a new management certification for 2 hours, played guitar which felt really good and cathartic today, wrote, and read.

Working from home, and was able to listen to all of KillYourInnerLoser 's last YouTube video on his journey from depression to optimism. Fuck me what an inspiration. Andy mate you have some incredible parents and you have been on one hell of a ride. Really was so good to hear man.

Now about to wrap up for the day. I'm going to do a 20min cold bath (55F/12C).

Bedtime shortly after. And tomorrow, lots of fun stuff to do - work on my Spanish, go for a run, do some bodyweight training, play guitar and read.

Hope everyone has had a good week!!!!

MAC
 
MORNING WEIGHT: 243.2 (Down 1.2lbs)

Yes!! Haven't been under 240lbs for about 2 years, will be so fucking happy to be under that man you don't even know.

SAT GOALS:

-1hr walk & listen to 12 rules for life
-Breathwork 3 x 45min sessions
-Study management cert 2hrs
-Spanish 2 hrs
-Core & Resistance Training
-30 mins infrared sauna & 20 mins cold bath
-Guitar 2hrs
-Put together materials to study tomorrow

NOTE: Sunday will be my self-development day, reading articles, books, and learning from YouTube resources. This is the closest to a 'day off' I ever get.

I am pretty uncomfortable NOT 'working' or 'learning' on any given day and as such I have very few days in my life that are unproductive or wasted, had maybe less than 10 over the past 5 years, and honestly this is my hard-headed stuborn personality, I get pissed off at myself and feel ashamed for not trying my best.

I should learn to chill out more fuck haha.

Cheers gents,
MAC
 
Feeling good, had a good day.

Highlight was going for a 60 minute jog, followed by a 30 minute infrared sauna session, followed by a 25 minute cold bath! Felt awesome! This is essentially a biohack for brain function, anxiety reduction, and cognitive enhancement. These factors converge to release BDNF and reset the stress-response, downregulation adrenaline pathways, and bringing systemic harmony.

IMO these types of biohacks can massively help our brains and overall function and I enjoy them. I experiment with all sorts of them.

I will note that my cardio is pretty good for a big guy because I do a fuck tonne of breathwork, around 3 hours per day, and have done for 4 years. This really oxygenates the body and brain and helps overall function.

Healing is big for me.

Listened to 12 rules for life a lot today.

Really hit me hard at several points. Honesty, responsibility, meaning. Carryng a load in life. These are critical things for us men.

Another thing that I loved is that Dr Peterson has talked about guys who've had it hard with women: "If you are being rejected by all the women, what does that tell you? The problem is YOU"

I take full responsibility for my lack of success and women don't owe me anything obviously. They have worked so hard and made an unbelievable contribution to the world, they can be with the kind of men they like. And this is a good thing, what would the world be like if guys could be spineless losers and succeed with women? That wouldn't be good for the human species and our potential.

I enjoy Jordan's advice on succeeding with women also: he believes we should become as competent as we possibly can, and achieve larger and larger goals. Great advice.

I was already doing this to be fair but the work everyone is doing here really has helped me understand that there are other gaps I need to plug and I am happy to be working on weight loss now and then the other fundamentals. Which frankly I have to learn more about!

It'll come together in the end.

Had a good day and got a lot done. That's the kind of day I like.

MAC
 
Glad to see you consistently posting here.
MakingAComeback said:
I was already doing this to be fair but the work everyone is doing here really has helped me understand that there are other gaps I need to plug and I am happy to be working on weight loss now and then the other fundamentals. Which frankly I have to learn more about!
I definitely agree with this. The people here have so much collective knowledge that it would be a waste not to try and learn from everyone. All of the different view points in their lives collectively contribute to helping you in yours. I don't think I could have gotten as far as I have now without the support from the people on the forums.

I'm sure if you stick to your diet plan the weight will come off real quick. The vertical diet is a great diet model to follow. Really good for hitting macros and micros. Consistency is key with weight loss. Even if you have a bad day, if you stick to your plan 90% of the time, you will show great progress.

Keep up the great work man. Looking real good so far from your past posts.
 
Toast said:
Glad to see you consistently posting here.
MakingAComeback said:
I was already doing this to be fair but the work everyone is doing here really has helped me understand that there are other gaps I need to plug and I am happy to be working on weight loss now and then the other fundamentals. Which frankly I have to learn more about!
I definitely agree with this. The people here have so much collective knowledge that it would be a waste not to try and learn from everyone. All of the different view points in their lives collectively contribute to helping you in yours. I don't think I could have gotten as far as I have now without the support from the people on the forums.

I'm sure if you stick to your diet plan the weight will come off real quick. The vertical diet is a great diet model to follow. Really good for hitting macros and micros. Consistency is key with weight loss. Even if you have a bad day, if you stick to your plan 90% of the time, you will show great progress.

Keep up the great work man. Looking real good so far from your past posts.

Grateful to be here man, getting mixed up with a bunch of determined dudes who are committed to improving themselves is a great privilege.

Tell me about it, so much knowledge in different domains here, and it is so empowering. I reached the limit of being able to help myself and very quickly I have learned that there are things I can look upon to really transform my situation. The weight loss, which you touch on here, really has been heartening to me. This is a factor SO within my control and is also just plain healthy, improves so much of the big picture components of wellness and function, across sleep, mood, cognition. And of course I can see it helping with the ladies.

Thanks man! Gonna keep hammering at it.

MAC
 
So today was a bit challenging. Last night, my uncle who has recovered from cancer and has been stable for 3 years told me about some very high potency CBD oil he used to support his battle. I knew a little about it, and thought I'd see what it's effects were. I took it at 9pm before bed and has the most insane panic attacks, paranoia, even like some delusions and shit. Thought I was dead. Note that I don't do any drugs (hell, I even stopped drinking about 4 years ago so am a teetotaler) but I had smoked a few joints in Uni, and had the exact same reaction then, so never touched the stuff and decided it didn't agree with me.

But fuck me, it was a scary night, didn't get a wink of sleep, had the biggest panic attacks ever and felt like I was losing my shit. However, I had prior knowledge of my reactions to weed from when I was 21 so I knew it was just how my brain responds to the stuff. Thing is, this was CBD oil, albeit a very potent form that my uncle got from a reputable grower, it was formulated for him to support his battle against cancer, he also used green juicing to great effect. My uncle never got this response, but he also gave some to his friend, who reacted just like I did, and then also last month he gave some to my Mum, and she had the same response! She thought she was dead and got super emotional bless her lol. My uncle's friend also thought he was dead. These are all people with a similar genetic background to me (North Indian) and I think our endocannabinoid system is not compatible...but not for all of us clearly my Uncle benefited from it.

I got on with my day today and incorporated my usual health practices, grounding/earthing in the back garden (so healing), walking and getting full spectrum light, particularly in my eyes, ate well, and just rested. The adrenaline levels are still high now and its been 24 hours, but that will abate over time, going to keep hydrated and keep drinking chamomile tea. Felt pretty shit overall today, tired, tense, agitated.

The worst part is this was an experiment for a biohack around cognitive enhancement!

I have a 23&Me test ordered and I think I will look into my endocannabinoid system and learn why it responds like this.

Obviously I won't touch the stuff again, I am teetotal anyway!

I had to lay in bed and relax for a while. I listened to 2 videos shared by Andy, from Dr.K, with a brave and lovely guy who talked about how he has struggled finding a girlfriend. This shit really helped me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPnWbj70TTY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOVEkogq5QQ

Great guys, great videos. Wish him luck I really do, I hope he heals and grows man, I would love for him to find a great gal and fall in love. I hate when guys develop low self esteem because I battle it myself and am on a healing journey. We can feel good and connect with others, we as men have great qualities to us and we can be great partners, lovers, fathers, friends, brothers, and members of the community. It's great that there is info out there now and a culture where we are empowered to make change if we want it.

I know its going to be a journey for me to go from where I am to be a guy women want to be with. Weight loss is key now and I also am working on improving my overall health and condition, including mood and anxiety. I am doing better than before and I am grateful. But I know the best me will emerge in due course and manifest himself.

So a mixed bag this weekend, sucks about the CBD experience, but I am glad I know a thing or two about health and healing now so I have been able to weather the storm fairly well. Hope I feel better tomorrow and shit it will be good if I can get some sleep tonight. lets see.

MAC
 
WEEK 2

Morning Weight: 241.8

This means I lost 7lbs last week. Good.

Also, high adrenaline did begin to simmer down, and I finally fell asleep at around midnight for a 530 rise. I am feeling far better today, and will also get to bed at the regular time (9pm) and adjust my rising time to 630 to reflect daylight savings here. Trying to respect sun rise and sunset times.

Now to have a productive week.
 
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