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Ravi, Year 4: Self-Improvement Log - Data-Driven, Incremental Growth [FAMILY TRIGGERS]

Evening check in:

ACTIONS
(1) Dating: Online Lead Gen Process (FAIL)
(2) Body: Gym: Pull / Core / Stretch / Posture (DONE)
(3) Biz/Copy: See below (DONE)

Notes:

Revised my day structure following Crisis_Overcomer's post, Paw helped me overhaul it. It works far better and I am happy about it.

Why didn't lead gen happen?

Finished biz work, went to the gym. Then went to the shops, which took about an hour. Cooked, ate. This was a further hour. I was then pretty tired, napped and listened to Andy's podcast for an hour and a half.

I did my stretching and posture work.

And it's now 11pm. Was meant to be in bed half an hour ago.

Failure point was the nap. It took too long. But it was needed.

I'll do better tomorrow. I still got lots done and day was solid! I am not back to proper form yet. I still need to string together a few nights of better sleep, get a fast or two in, and I'll be back where I need to be.

Tomorrow's plan:

THURS 16/11/2022

(1) Self Improvement
Sunrise
Mindset
Tongue
CT / Light / Earthing / Breathwork
*Ping girl for call reminder
*Buy water

(2) Biz
-Acc Checkins
-Acc Onboarding
-Acc Spreadsheets
-Acc client reports
-Paw: Return his escrow
-Copy: K meeting schedule

(3) Body
Core
Glutes & Low Back Warmup
60m Run
Stretch & Posture

(4) Dating
-Lead Gen Process: 500 profiles Hinge, 10m swiping Tinder, 10m swiping Bumble, any messaging
-Call w/ Girl (15m max)

Social Time: 7pm – 10pm
-See my friends, hang out, few drinks

930: Tinder boost
10: Tinder boost
1015 Bed…….

Sat: I will catch up on reading, forum posts I want to make, and life admin tasks. Sunday, off completely, will hang with L. I will do what I can with her but I am not thinking anything will happen romantically. Why not just enjoy her company until I leave? I leave in 4 weeks and will at least get to say I got to date a pretty girl for the first time.

Much more success to come. It will require hard work and consistency. Today was OK. Not good, not bad. Just OK.

MAC
 
Flowing well, getting shit done, but wanted to share:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCVHtV069MY&t=947s

This was a really great interview with Bman

I loved it.

Some great things, some things that I disagree with, some things that honestly pissed me off and triggered me a fair bit.

Honesty, the idea of being honest and open with women, triggers me immensely.

I tried that. It worked badly.

I think we need to be more pragmatic about this......Honesty I think is context dependent, opening up should be done over time, and in a careful way.

Otherwise, it DOES kill attraction and causes more harm to one's dating life than good IMO.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed this one a lot. Great discussion.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
Honesty, the idea of being honest and open with women, triggers me immensely.
Click to expand...

Thanks for checking out the interview and for the feedback!

I'm genuinely curious to hear more in depth about how you think honesty should be handled.

I would like to add a bit of nuance to the point of honesty and game.

You are correct that honesty is context and audience dependent. That depending on the context and audience you are speaking to, there is a certain level of honesty you will have.

We are going on dates, not into courts of law. There is difference between being autistically honest, divulging every detail, and being honest but in a playful and mysterious way.

I would describe honesty in 3 levels: autistic truth, blunt truth, and politician's truth. Let me illustrate these with some examples.

First a silly, but easy to grasp example. Next week I'm flying out to see my mom for Thanksgiving. There is a good possibility my mom asks me if I'm dating anyone since the divorce or how my dating life is going. Here is how I could answer that question in 3 levels:

  • Autistic: "Well mom, I've fucked 11 girls since the divorce, been really getting into BDSM and tying them up. In fact, I've been going to this BDSM club and they do some wild stuff there like.............." *Mom's face is horrified*
  • Blunt: "Well mom, I think I'm more polyamorous and have been exploring my sexuality more. So I have been using the dating apps and casually seen a few girls. "
  • Politician: "Well mom, I have seen a few girls."

All of them I'm telling the truth. But who is my audience? What level of information do they need to know? In this example, it's my mom. What she really wants to know is I'm happy, not that I'm fucking a bunch of girls. So I am probably going to leave it at the Politician level. Now if my mom kept pressing and asking more questions, I'd probably take it up a level to Blunt to firmly express my boundaries, my identity, or what I desire, not what she may want for me.

Most of the time when I'm talking with girls, I'm alternating between Politician and Blunt. When it comes to screening and setting boundaries with them, I'm blunt because I don't want to waste my time and I know there are girls who will be excited by those truths. When I deliver this to them, it's usually in a matter of fact tone, take it or leave it. For other questions, I try to be more Politician where I am telling the truth, but delivered in a way that is playful and a bit mysterious, leaving them wanting to know more about me. Then if they continue to press on, I will move more towards blunt, always being truthful. But at this point they have asked me lots of questions, so if they hear something they don't like, they are the ones that asked for it.

Let's look at another example.

A common question is "how many girls have you been with?". Again, who's your audience? What do they really need to know?

If the audience is the STD clinic, I austically tell them the exact number and sexual acts performed because this information is helpful for keeping all parties safe and healthy.

If I'm on a date with a girl, the answer is usually something along the lines of "A few and to be upfront I do see other girls." They don't need to know an exact number. It's not what they actually care about. They may care about me being clean or if I'm just going to fuck them and ghost them, or some other concern.

Now this is where taking Andy's advice saying "I'm happy to answer the question, but what is it that you are really concerned about?" would help so you can deliver the truth in way that is helpful to them, fulfills their needs, and easier for them to swallow.

I'll share my message threads later this week, but I'm currently messaging a girl who is a self proclaimed feminist who doesn't want to mess around with fuckboys and eventually wants something long term. BUT she messaged me, a fuckboy, who has from the start told her I only want casual, have other partners, and kept the convo mostly about sex. She continues to be engaged and date is tonight.

Look there is a reason that politicians like John F Kennedy get laid so much. They know who their audience is and how to deliver truth in a way that inspires. This requires empathy and knowing what your audience is really asking.

Is this manipulative and Machiavellian? Maybe. But it could also be inspiring, influential, persuasive, and qualities of a respectable leader. I believe it comes down to intention.

Are you telling a politician's truth because you just want to pump and dump this girl, regardless of what she wants, her feelings, or the outcome for her? Probably being manipulative then.

Or are you telling a politicians truth because you understand what she needs, are comforting her concerns, so the two of you can mutually enjoy a great night of pleasure and connection. Then you are being a leader.

Now I probably miss out on some sex with women because I'm honest and don't do much in terms of classic game. I accept that. But really, I just don't want to operate in any other way than being honest. As I mentioned in the interview, it's why I appreciate Andy's model so much.

What I recommend for you is finding the models that work for you, at whatever level of honesty that may be.
 
Bman said:
MakingAComeback said:
Honesty, the idea of being honest and open with women, triggers me immensely.
Click to expand...

Thanks for checking out the interview and for the feedback!

I'm genuinely curious to hear more in depth about how you think honesty should be handled.

I would like to add a bit of nuance to the point of honesty and game.

You are correct that honesty is context and audience dependent. That depending on the context and audience you are speaking to, there is a certain level of honesty you will have.

We are going on dates, not into courts of law. There is difference between being autistically honest, divulging every detail, and being honest but in a playful and mysterious way.

I would describe honesty in 3 levels: autistic truth, blunt truth, and politician's truth. Let me illustrate these with some examples.

First a silly, but easy to grasp example. Next week I'm flying out to see my mom for Thanksgiving. There is a good possibility my mom asks me if I'm dating anyone since the divorce or how my dating life is going. Here is how I could answer that question in 3 levels:

  • Autistic: "Well mom, I've fucked 11 girls since the divorce, been really getting into BDSM and tying them up. In fact, I've been going to this BDSM club and they do some wild stuff there like.............." *Mom's face is horrified*
  • Blunt: "Well mom, I think I'm more polyamorous and have been exploring my sexuality more. So I have been using the dating apps and casually seen a few girls. "
  • Politician: "Well mom, I have seen a few girls."

All of them I'm telling the truth. But who is my audience? What level of information do they need to know? In this example, it's my mom. What she really wants to know is I'm happy, not that I'm fucking a bunch of girls. So I am probably going to leave it at the Politician level. Now if my mom kept pressing and asking more questions, I'd probably take it up a level to Blunt to firmly express my boundaries, my identity, or what I desire, not what she may want for me.

Most of the time when I'm talking with girls, I'm alternating between Politician and Blunt. When it comes to screening and setting boundaries with them, I'm blunt because I don't want to waste my time and I know there are girls who will be excited by those truths. When I deliver this to them, it's usually in a matter of fact tone, take it or leave it. For other questions, I try to be more Politician where I am telling the truth, but delivered in a way that is playful and a bit mysterious, leaving them wanting to know more about me. Then if they continue to press on, I will move more towards blunt, always being truthful. But at this point they have asked me lots of questions, so if they hear something they don't like, they are the ones that asked for it.

Let's look at another example.

A common question is "how many girls have you been with?". Again, who's your audience? What do they really need to know?

If the audience is the STD clinic, I austically tell them the exact number and sexual acts performed because this information is helpful for keeping all parties safe and healthy.

If I'm on a date with a girl, the answer is usually something along the lines of "A few and to be upfront I do see other girls." They don't need to know an exact number. It's not what they actually care about. They may care about me being clean or if I'm just going to fuck them and ghost them, or some other concern.

Now this is where taking Andy's advice saying "I'm happy to answer the question, but what is it that you are really concerned about?" would help so you can deliver the truth in way that is helpful to them, fulfills their needs, and easier for them to swallow.

I'll share my message threads later this week, but I'm currently messaging a girl who is a self proclaimed feminist who doesn't want to mess around with fuckboys and eventually wants something long term. BUT she messaged me, a fuckboy, who has from the start told her I only want casual, have other partners, and kept the convo mostly about sex. She continues to be engaged and date is tonight.

Look there is a reason that politicians like John F Kennedy get laid so much. They know who their audience is and how to deliver truth in a way that inspires. This requires empathy and knowing what your audience is really asking.

Is this manipulative and Machiavellian? Maybe. But it could also be inspiring, influential, persuasive, and qualities of a respectable leader. I believe it comes down to intention.

Are you telling a politician's truth because you just want to pump and dump this girl, regardless of what she wants, her feelings, or the outcome for her? Probably being manipulative then.

Or are you telling a politicians truth because you understand what she needs, are comforting her concerns, so the two of you can mutually enjoy a great night of pleasure and connection. Then you are being a leader.

Now I probably miss out on some sex with women because I'm honest and don't do much in terms of classic game. I accept that. But really, I just don't want to operate in any other way than being honest. As I mentioned in the interview, it's why I appreciate Andy's model so much.

What I recommend for you is finding the models that work for you, at whatever level of honesty that may be.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the post sexy, lemme ponder and get back to you. Sat will be my reading and catch up day. I will study reflect and learn on Saturdays. Sunday OFF!!!

Ravi
 
THE PHOENIX PROJECT WEEK 49

THURS 16/11/2022

ACTIONS

(1) Dating: Online Lead Gen Process
(2) Body: Run (60m) / Core / Stretch / Posture
(3) Biz/Copy: See below
Others: Sunrise, Mindset, CT, Earthing, Light, Breathwork, sort out BTC payment, Life admin for Mum, buy water (DONE)

-Accountability Check ins (DONE)
-Spreadsheet updates (DONE)
-Onboarding (DONE: Call w/ A on Sat, call w/ Z on Mon)
-Escrow: Confirm w/ Paw about his escrow return, he has no fines this month (DONE, awaiting update)

Copy:
None today. I have complete one piece for A, which will be his LinkedIn blurb. I have a call with Korkii tomorrow to discuss a potential sales letter for him.

Notes:

Self improvement, done. Listened to Andy’s podcast during CT & breathwork, interview with Bman was great but triggered me a lot. The idea of being honest with women stings a lot, and it brings back a lot of memories of my first year and having a bit of a weak run with lots of dates and a lot of rejection. I got better and the experience of dates got better, this was deliberate and involved me burning down a lot of my old identity. Honesty has a lot of utility and is a longer term thing for me. Right now it pains me a lot. The interview was really fantastic and I did enjoy it, I will discuss more with Bman on Sat.

Now off to the gym to do core, glutes, low back and then going into Battersea Park for 60mins to run.

Thereafter, I’ll come back, stretch and do my posture work.

Online lead gen hustle.

Then hanging out with Timmy, Matt and Carl, ordering in some food (lebanese probs, body goals friendly) and slugging some drinks, gin I think. We will put Carl’s output from his photoshoot up on the screen put some music on and do his photo selection for him.

I have a call with a girl at 815 who wants a brief chat ahead of a potential date tomorrow.

Otherwise, gotta hustle to get leads, I will try to get something in place for Fri and Sat. Sun, probably seeing L.

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ravi
 
MakingAComeback said:
THE PHOENIX PROJECT WEEK 49

THURS 16/11/2022

ACTIONS

(1) Dating: Online Lead Gen Process
(2) Body: Run (60m) / Core / Stretch / Posture
(3) Biz/Copy: See below
Others: Sunrise, Mindset, CT, Earthing, Light, Breathwork, sort out BTC payment, Life admin for Mum, buy water (DONE)

-Accountability Check ins (DONE)
-Spreadsheet updates (DONE)
-Onboarding (DONE: Call w/ A on Sat, call w/ Z on Mon)
-Escrow: Confirm w/ Paw about his escrow return, he has no fines this month (DONE, awaiting update)

Copy:
None today. I have complete one piece for A, which will be his LinkedIn blurb. I have a call with Korkii tomorrow to discuss a potential sales letter for him.

Notes:

Self improvement, done. Listened to Andy’s podcast during CT & breathwork, interview with Bman was great but triggered me a lot. The idea of being honest with women stings a lot, and it brings back a lot of memories of my first year and having a bit of a weak run with lots of dates and a lot of rejection. I got better and the experience of dates got better, this was deliberate and involved me burning down a lot of my old identity. Honesty has a lot of utility and is a longer term thing for me. Right now it pains me a lot. The interview was really fantastic and I did enjoy it, I will discuss more with Bman on Sat.

Now off to the gym to do core, glutes, low back and then going into Battersea Park for 60mins to run.

Thereafter, I’ll come back, stretch and do my posture work.

Online lead gen hustle.

Then hanging out with Timmy, Matt and Carl, ordering in some food (lebanese probs, body goals friendly) and slugging some drinks, gin I think. We will put Carl’s output from his photoshoot up on the screen put some music on and do his photo selection for him.

I have a call with a girl at 815 who wants a brief chat ahead of a potential date tomorrow.

Otherwise, gotta hustle to get leads, I will try to get something in place for Fri and Sat. Sun, probably seeing L.

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ravi
Click to expand...

LET'S GOOOOO
 
THE PHOENIX PROJECT WEEK 49

FRI 18/11/2022

ACTIONS
(1) Dating: Lead Gen & Messaging
(2) Body: Gym: Legs / Core / Stretch / Posture
(3) Biz/Copy: Below
Others: Sunrise, Mindset, CT, Light, Earthing, Myofunctional Therapy

(1) Self Improvement

-Mindset
-Myofunctional Therapy
-CT / Light / Earthing / Breathwork

Breakfast, Dha, Supplements

(2) Biz
-Acc Checkins
-Vin: Pay his escrow back, sans forfeits
-Spreadsheet updates
-Client reports
-Testimonial outreach: clarify next steps
-Read: Vin’s posts / Dan’s book

Copy:
-Finalise draft of A’s copy for LinkedIn

(3) Body
-Core
-Gym: Legs / listen to Alex Hermozi’s podcast in the gym
-Stretch
-Posture

(Dinner + Supplements right after gym, will get some good DHA again, and continue with posture and stretching)

(4) Dating
-Online Lead Gen Process: 500 profiles liked on Hinge / 10m swiping Tinder / 10m swiping Bumble
-Messaging leads

(5) Life Admin
-Work through the task list if I have any time

*930 & 1030pm: Run Tinder boost / Run Bumble boost

No date tonight as she slept through the call we planned yesterday and then told me to go meet her halfway, lol, no thanks. Will get a better lead. Just one lay to go we’re good ;-)

Me and Timmy advised the landlord we're not staying, our final date here is Dec 16th. Gotta hustle! I'll be back with my parents then focused on MONEY. I'll get my money right then an idea we're exploring right now is me Paw and the Dom getting a rental somewhere as a main base, which will still enable us to do international trips. I can't justify London as a main base, I love the place, but I'll be back in the future when I've got real money and am a G who can get access to the quality girls here.

Well, my quality got better, but it's a journey.......

Ravi
 
(Did a call with K this morning, he's down to let me do all his copy. So I have 4 upcoming testimonials and case studies for copywriting)

I will make it happen man.

I will get this 1 lay then bros we must figure out how I can make money.

Andy will coach me with my biz he will talk to me every week about it.

I must make 3-5k a month online so I can travel with my bros work my dick off and become great

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
I think we need to be more pragmatic about this......Honesty I think is context dependent, opening up should be done over time, and in a careful way.
Click to expand...

Ultimately, it's up to you.

I've seen different guys do well without it and others do well with it. Both work.

Personally i think if your playing the long-game, care about retention, rotation, etc. Honesty just makes your life less dramatic. It's hard to tell a girl you won't commit to her when you've been leading her on for a few months. Been there done that. And those convos are excruciatingly difficult. Cuz you're fully aware youre hurting a girl who up to that point has been very nice to you.


If all you care about is sex. Honesty probably gets you less lays.


I think it's more about your goals, so there's no right or wrong answer. Just be sure about which you want.
 
As ever flying by the seat of my god damn pants.........

Friday, had a date with this gal, 6ft1, I wasn't feeling her at all: very political, bit of a posho, wanted to debate and was a shit listener. Grossed me out a lot and was also super meh looks wise. Split the bill and dipped.

Sat, I was mostly DYING from the hustle. Needed a recharge. Worked, chilled out, it helped.

Sunday, biohacking work got done, sunrise, CT, eating, DHA. Felt good!

Went to see L. She's late as ever. But I am listening to a great podcast and just get outdoor time.

She arrives. As ever, just lifts my entire soul. Festive season is happening so we slug 3 mulled wines and chat.

We then get food.

She hustles us into a very cool bar that was reservation only, she is a sales beast.

We split 2 bottles of wine. The night is soo good. The barmaid kinda fancied us a bit we think, and she came over and brought us some lovely shots, totally on the house, and had one with us which was nice.

L and I bonded a lot, a sofa frees up, the same barmaid asks if if we want it. She moves us over. L and I get super close, she initiates the makeout, we kiss and it's nice. I keep it brief. We chat more.

She invites me to come over to her place and watch the England game today. I bring the beers, she says, and she'll cook me dinner after.

Epic.

Date with her was from like 1pm-930. Was a blast. By the end of it, we were both damn near blackout drunk.

I am up now and have to fookin hustle. Biz work, then gym, then on the train to go to Ls place.

In the back of my mind, I am feeling deep resistance now, because this gal appears to want something serious from me, and I cannot give that.

I have to look at myself in the mirror. I must become great. I chose this life. I will live by the sword.

And I will die by it.

I can't do serious until 34/35.

I will get this final lay, somehow, I don't want to sleep with L. I am not going to do it. I will find someone else.

I just want to enjoy Ls company. We don't have to part ways. We can be friends or someshit. Situation is complicated as ever, and tbh, here is why honesty matters......

Enough now. I am behind on work and that is burning me up. The G life is good, but my desire to make money is now really, really getting to me. I am starting to become a bit obsessed.........I have had a good time with girls and I am satisfied that I have come so far. But this journey is only beginning.

The vision in my mind involves abundance.

Money
Women
Clout

I will keep showing up.

So much going on I can't even process it.

Back to hustle now, I'll check in tomorrow, gotta hit the gym............

A MILLION MILES PER HOUR AS EVER FOR YOURS TRULY

MAC DADDY
 
MakingAComeback said:
In the back of my mind, I am feeling deep resistance now, because this gal appears to want something serious from me, and I cannot give that.

I have to look at myself in the mirror. I must become great. I chose this life. I will live by the sword.

And I will die by it.

I can't do serious until 34/35.

I will get this final lay, somehow, I don't want to sleep with L. I am not going to do it. I will find someone else.

I just want to enjoy Ls company. We don't have to part ways. We can be friends or someshit. Situation is complicated as ever, and tbh, here is why honesty matters......
Click to expand...

Hey MAC, I've been following you in the shadow still (you're one of the reason why I keep coming back to be honest, I finally started to write an update in my log, I haven't ignore your comments on it).

I can relate on this part because I almost did something similar recently with my girlfriend. I totally understand the desire to not do wrong by her, and it's very honourable, but what if you gave her the possibility to make her own choice in that matter ? You make the decision for both of you to not sleep with her without giving her the full context. If she invites you tomorrow for an evening at her place, we both know what it means. What if you took that opportunity to lay your card on the table ?

What if you tell her how much you appreciate her, that you desire her, and that you want to be physical with her but you can't promise anything serious because of the reasons you mentioned ? That you need to focus on yourself, that you have big plans for the next 5 years and that you can't commit now. And then, she gets to decide if she's on board or not. But now, you're taking away that decision from her and in a sense, running away. This is not fair for neither of you and I don't think it's honest.

She's a grown ass woman, capable of making her own decision at the end of the day.

Just wanted to give my 2 cents about it. Because as I said, I had the same attitude regarding some recent events. But in some sense, it's also some self sabotage. Wouldn't it be great to have your last lay of your comeback year with a great gal that you like ? After all you've been through this year, you ought it to yourself to really try.

You got this man
 
Tried and tried bros, nothing happened.

England played well though.

I came home after the date and felt thoroughly depressed.

I asked myself, what? I normally like spending time with her?

It was nice, it felt good at times, but equally, I felt quite rejected when she rebuffed my advances. It felt weird.

She cooked me dinner, which was lovely, and we drank together.

Thing is, I am not a big drinker. The 9hr session with her on Sunday and then drinks yesterday made me feel depressed, I think!

With L, I am conflicted. She is def. the best gal I met on my journey, she's awesome, but I sense conflict in her, as if her head kinda wants me, but her heart longs for something else.

Usually, the heart wins.

I haven't told her I'm leaving London next month. I think we'll see each other again, and then I'll tell her that I'm off.

Very inteesting experience, learned a lot.

I do not like being spurned and when girls push me away physically. I don't like that she wouldnt get close to me, wouldn't kiss me, and so on. She sat on the other side of the sofa and played those silly little games.

The truth: she clearly has trauma around intimacy.

I have my own goals to pursue. That's life. I hope she finds a lovely man who wil go on the 100-200 dates she needs. I have my own healing to do and can't go through all these dates being left feeling unwanted and undesired by her. I love that she invited me over, she is very nice to me and does seem to care. Thats amazing. She asked me if I'd be up for a double date with her best friend (a guy) and his gf. Clearly, she sees something in me, and she did highlight how this is very rare for her.

But the thing is, I can't do it. I have lost attraction for her tbh and now feel more like we're friends than anything else.

Happy to just be friends............

I dunno.

I have work to catch up on. This stuff is so time consuming and exhausting sometimes man.

MAC
 
........And ofc I texted her.

Because I have a crush on her.

I don't even want anything romantic with her, I don't want a relationship, I don't really even want to sleep with her because I see she has trauma and I don't think sex is right for her right now (she flinches and tenses when I touch her, for instance).

I do however enjoy her as a human being and will have an open and honest conversation about how I feel like we're best suited as friends.

Def. an amazing gal, the best one I've met on the journey objectively in terms of her person. Sure, I don't know her, don't really know much about her, and tbh she may not even be into me a whole lot. It's all good.

For me, just knowing there are quality girls like this out there who will give me a chance at dating them means a lot.

When I am looking for one, which won't be for a while yet, atleast I know I have a puncher's chance.........

Today was solid AF in terms of work :)

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
I don't even want anything romantic with her, I don't want a relationship, I don't really even want to sleep with her because I see she has trauma and I don't think sex is right for her right now (she flinches and tenses when I touch her, for instance).

I do however enjoy her as a human being and will have an open and honest conversation about how I feel like we're best suited as friends.
Click to expand...

I like where you're going with this. You're allowed to feel wanted, brother, and from everything I've seen - it just looks like she's on a completely different wavelength.

Glad to see you're taking the bull by the horns and laying it all out. If her issues don't allow her to give you what you need, that's ultimately for her to solve.

Your wants/needs matter. Looking forward to see how things go, brother.

Keep pushing!
 
natedawg said:
MakingAComeback said:
I don't even want anything romantic with her, I don't want a relationship, I don't really even want to sleep with her because I see she has trauma and I don't think sex is right for her right now (she flinches and tenses when I touch her, for instance).

I do however enjoy her as a human being and will have an open and honest conversation about how I feel like we're best suited as friends.
Click to expand...

I like where you're going with this. You're allowed to feel wanted, brother, and from everything I've seen - it just looks like she's on a completely different wavelength.

Glad to see you're taking the bull by the horns and laying it all out. If her issues don't allow her to give you what you need, that's ultimately for her to solve.

Your wants/needs matter. Looking forward to see how things go, brother.

Keep pushing!
Click to expand...

Thank you Nate! She has been very awesome & has helped me heal I won't lie.

When I called her out for being late to our last date, which she didn't really understand (she texted me beforehand but I just early anyway), she seemed so sorry for making me wait.

It's little things. I was in her kitchen while she was cooking, and I was standing infront of one of her drawers.

"Can I get behind you darling?"

I get thrown by this stuff. It's just these very small, very human acts that I have not experienced before. Just basic kindness, warmth, and just being authentic and genuine hits me, I have found, in ways I didn't expect.

L has eluded to how she has fears over getting very attached to someone and has struggled with co-dependency in the past. She explained how she is working with a coach and the strategy they've put in place is for her to wait, potentially some time, before exploring intimacy.

I can totally respect it and I can also admit that I have learned more about myself.

I am very weak for when a girl is nice to me. When they do small and kind gestures for me, like compliments or something seemingly insignificant, I do begin to feel a little bit for them. I have a lot of compassion for L and really wish her good things in life. It's been, what, 4 dates but I am grateful that I got to meet her. I will explain to her it's best for us to just be friends, and will just see what she feels.

She deserves honesty. And I deserve for my own needs and development to be respected.

Back to work. Feeling motivated and productive rn!

Ravi
 
THE PHOENIX PROJECT WEEK 50

THURS 24/11/2022

(2) Biz / Copy
-Accountability Checkins
- Accountability Spreadsheets & Reports
-Accountability Onboarding outreach
-Accountability testimonial outreach
-Accountability sales deck development: canva
-Copywriting: A’s copy v3.

(3) Body
-Glute & Low Back Warmup
-Run (60m)
(Dinner)
-Stretch & Posture

(4) Dating
-Lead Gen Process
-Messaging
-Dating Dev: Update folder, review notes

Others
-Cold thermogenesis session (20m)
-Reading

Notes:

Will have a chat with L on Sunday and tell her I’m leaving London in a month. I will also tell her that I think our dating feels more like friendship, and will explain I need to focus on my own mission. Truth be told, I like her a lot, and would like to keep seeing her regardless. I will be in London regularly putting on talks for my biz and seeing friends, I would be open to seeing her in this capacity, given that from Jan practically all I’ll be doing is hammering biz, with a bit of cold approach 3 times a week, and maybe 1hr a day on the dating apps. Which means 8hrs work on biz each day, and the rest just training and developing my physique and masculinity…..

I understand I can find other chicks, I get that totally, I frankly just like this human being and will be honest with her that I feel like it’s more friendship and that I must focus on my mission and big picture vision for my life. This is not time for a relationship. This is time to build deep financial resilience, make good money, and travel the world so I can grow and become more.

This is the first time I’ve felt a little weird like this, the thought of me having misled her or perhaps have given her the wrong impression weights upon me pretty much every second. I dislike being untruthful tremendously. It burns me up. I will talk to her over the weekend and give her the facts. She herself told me on our first date she just wants to enjoy someone's company, and wants to just have a good time. Whilst this is fine, the fact that I didn’t tell her I am leaving London next month is what is boiling me up. That was not good of me. I’ll make it right. She doesn’t have to see me any-more after that, no problem.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
She herself told me on our first date she just wants to enjoy someone's company, and wants to just have a good time. Whilst this is fine, the fact that I didn’t tell her I am leaving London next month is what is boiling me up. That was not good of me. I’ll make it right. She doesn’t have to see me any-more after that, no problem.
Click to expand...

I honestly don't think you did anything wrong, brother. Her response was very vague too. I definitely think you're doing the right thing tho, just don't beat yourself up because I really don't think you did anything wrong.
 
natedawg said:
I honestly don't think you did anything wrong, brother. Her response was very vague too. I definitely think you're doing the right thing tho, just don't beat yourself up because I really don't think you did anything wrong.
Click to expand...
Agreed. It's not like she said, "I am looking for a serious relationship".
 
Hear ya bros. I'll have a convo and see what she says. It's a bit complicated, I do feel like some of my answers to certain questions may have given her the impression I seek a relationship, though when she has asked me directly on several occasions, I was blunt and truthful: I am just enjoying my life and my mission.

I find the past few weeks dating her quite curious. Much of the time, I was so sure she'd never see me again. But she was happy to see me. It took 11 months of grinding to get a 2nd date man, I had to work on a lot, get feedback, and improve.

Even now, I just have this demon of doubt that is with me so often, like my mind will just conjure up the idea that she's gotten bored of me and that's that. It's my insecurity and frail sense of self as a man, and how I struggle to see myself as a real option for any lady. It's so hard to overcome man. It is really there every day, I just try to overcome the same stuff every. single. day. I wish I could have some peace from it. It is part of my psyche and I can accept it. It visits often, I just let it say what it needs to say.

Dating apps slowed down a lot in London town. No leads rn. Just blasting them daily.

EVENING CHECKIN:

2) Biz / Copy (DONE, apart from copy)
-Accountability Checkins
- Accountability Spreadsheets & Reports
-Accountability Onboarding outreach
-Accountability testimonial outreach
-Accountability sales deck development: canva
-Copywriting: A’s copy v3.

(3) Body (DONE)
-Glute & Low Back Warmup
-Run (60m)
(Dinner)
-Stretch & Posture

(4) Dating (DONE apart from dating dev work)
-Lead Gen Process
-Messaging
-Dating Dev: Update folder, review notes


Notes:

Canva was a pain in the ass for the sales deck, moved to Google Slides instead. Will post what I’ve got tomorrow. I did the other hustle.

Cardio wise, I felt so strong today, vigorous, energetic. I could run, it felt, for hours and hours. It was effortless. Blasted 1hr and that was that. I attribute this to daily CT and earthing.

I need to improve my physique and appearance a lot. I really need to. Otherwise, I will not make it. My goals are becoming clearer and clearer for next year. Hard, hard work in the gym, and on my diet, will give me the dating life I seek. I need to make really good money. And I will just keep grinding with dating and cold approach in the background, as a thing I just do. Biz will be 8hrs daily. Training and cardio will be priority #2. Thereafter, developing myself in dating and attraction will just be there. But I need to make a physical transformation, it’s a big thing.

I will just keep working, trying every day, and pushing every day. I will be at this shit, self improvement, for years. I will create a better life for myself, I fucking know it.

1035pm time for bed. Did my best. Will try to be better tomorrow.

MAC
 
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