I Aurelius, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.
I'm a 35 year old dude living in the UK.
Always been a very socially anxious guy (hell, I was a virgin until I was 28) due to a combination of low self esteem, major anxiety and depression during most of my 20s, and a weight problem.
Been on a 5 year dry spell and am at a currently lay count of 2, which is really not good at all. I aim to change that.
I have gone to the gym on and off over the years with varying levels of commitment, I was around 300lbs at 21 years old, I did eventually manage to get that down to 240lbs, although over the years I've kind of yo-yo'd around between 240lbs and 270lbs.
I did dabble with PUA stuff in my mid to late 20s (i.e Mystery Method), but never really had much success with it as I realise now I was trying to be someone I wasn't, memorising daft 'routines' and such.
I think over the last 5-6 years I'd just kind of given up on myself, thrown myself into a job at the time that I didn't particularly like, partially to try make money, hoping that would make me happy, and I think partially as a distraction so I wouldn't have to face up and deal with the fact I was entering my 30s and was still a 'loser'.
The pandemic kind of put things into perspective for me, I was working throughout the entire thing and started thinking to myself that I'm wasting my life, and life's too short to waste, what the hell have I been doing these last few years etc.
I've always been interested in coding, but never really pursued a career in that sector.
During 2021 I started teaching myself full stack development from online resources during my spare time (rather than wasting my time playing video games like I'd been the previous few years), with the aim of buidling a portfolio and eventually landing a job as a junior dev.
During a holiday away this summer with friends, to cut a long story short, a bunch of things, both positive and negative happened that made me think "Dude, you could be slaying if you put some effort in and bettered yourself, why the fuck aren't you? Get off your arse".
Actually discovered this site and Andy's writings the next day got myself back on Tinder and actually managed to arrange a date over Tinder with a girl back in the UK using the advice in the Tinder guide, although unfortunately she ended up meeting someone else and entering a relationship before we could meet. Still, I made more progress in that one day than I have the last 5 years, so you gotta take the good with the bad.
Even did a few cold approaches in the bars (after a bunch of drinks though, I won't lie), and while they didn't lead anywhere, it did give my self-esteem a boost and make me realise "Hey, that went nowhere nearly as badly as you thought it was gonna be"
I decided I needed to make a change.
When I got back to the UK, I ended up handing in my notice at my job as it was draining the life out me literally and figuratively, and enrolling on a software development course which I'm currently in the process of completing.
I also got myself back in the gym earlier last month after a long lay off, and while I admit my dedication has been hit-and-miss, I'm working on making sure I go 4x a week, and make sure I'm sticking to my diet even when I do miss workouts. Although I am being stricter with myself about sticking to the workouts.
Currently down to 268lbs from starting at 276lbs.
Got myself into the habit of replying to my Tinder/Bumble/Hinge matches daily, no excuses, even signed up for Tinder Gold.
Started re-reading Andy's Tinder guide in more depth, as well as watching some of Playing With Fire's stuff.
My goals:
- Stick to my gym routine, lifting 4x a week (upper/lower split), stick to my diet and get my weight down from around 270lb (current) to 180lbs (goal) by this time next year.
- Hit 100kg bench/150kg squat/200kg deadlift by this time next year.
- Go on at least 1 date before the year 2022 is over, in November now so it's definitely do-able.
- Get comfortable having conversations with strangers in person.
- Fuck at least 20 girls during 2023 from Tinder/Hinge/Bumble/cold approach.
- Land a software developer job by April 2023.
- Own my own place by the end of 2023.
- Work on my mental health. While I wouldn't say I'm depressed these days, I definitely do have a mind that easily tends to veer down pessimistic thought patterns, which I'm working on changing, though daily meditation and reading some of the books Andy recommends such as 'You Can't Afford The Luxury of a Negative Thought' and 'Meditations' by Marcus Aurelius, which I absolutely love and wish I'd discovered years ago.
. Through that year I had 3 lays 1 of which beacame a friend with benefits for longer period. I want to gain more experience.