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Syd's Progress Log

Hey folks

Bit of a story for you today on how I got stood up.

So I’ve mentioned in my previous posts how I’d set up a lay for this weekend. Packed my bag and headed to her town on the train. Travelled for 2 hours and spent 50 bucks to meet this chick for the weekend.

Gets to the station and text ‘I’m here’. Suddenly, I get a WhatsApp message through: ‘Now you can take your ass back home.’

WTF?!

She then sends through a loaf of abuse about how I’ve got small man syndrome (I’m 6 foot 1’ hmm) and that I have it coming. Literally said nothing bad at all to this Crazy bitch!

Then, WhatsApp profile pic completely disappears. Texts don’t go through or nothing. So I’m currently on the way home - 6 hours travelling in total and 60 bucks worse off (Bought a sandwich and some water for the journey back).

Thought I’d share this story with you all. Not letting it knock me back though 8-)

On a positive note, managed to listen to quite a few of Andy’s podcasts whilst travelling. Chalking this up to a lesson learned - meet local and screen!

Still, bit of a dick move from this Crazy Bitch!

I’m getting back in the gym next week to blow off some steam. Gonna build myself up before I meet anyone :twisted:

Thanks for reading and listening to me rant!

Photo attached of me on the train :)

Thanks for reading!

Syd
 
Adam said:
Sounds like you matched with a weird chick who's got some issues and took them out on you. Or maybe one of her girlfriends got ahold of her phone and decided to be an asshole. Who knows v :D v
Click to expand...

Yeah man I think she had some issues - been chatting a few weeks, but chalking it up to experience. Fucking crazy bitch - probably did me a favour in the long run. Oh well 8-)
 
UPDATE 15: 15/05/2021

Hey Folks,

Hope you're all doing well.

Titled this post as 'a bit down' because well, I am!

If you've read my previous post, you'll see I had to put up with a lot of bullshit yesterday from a crazy bitch which culminated in me getting stood up and stranded at some train station in the middle of BUM FUCK NOWHERE! and sent a load of abuse before being blocked by said crazy bitch!

7 HOURS (train delays) and 50 bucks later, I eventually got home late at night and crashed in bed (I still got up at 04:30 on the day).

However, this was far from over: I woke up this morning to yet more abuse! I had been unblocked by crazy bitch during the night and she sent more of her bullshit texts and then blocked me again! :roll: I have now blocked this chick and have no idea what her problem was or what I did to upset her.

As I said yesterday, quite a learning curve here: Screen and meet/stay local. A mistake which cost me 50 bucks and my time. One which I sure as hell won't be making again any time soon!

Add to this a few various problems going on at home and I haven't really had a fun couple of days! :?

Today I think is the comedown from the bullshit that happened yesterday. Despite this, I still got a bit done which I'm happy with:

- Woke up at 04:30 (Trust me on this one: After yesterday, I sure as hell didn't want to) and rolled out of bed at 04:39.

- Read another chapter of the Dating Essentials Book - this one was about spotting red flags. Appropriate after yesterday's 'comedy of errors'!

- Drank my morning coffee in my garden. Helped clear my head a little.

- Went for a long walk to the gym. Still without a car, so wanted to see how quick I could walk to the gym. Did it in 20 minutes. This could be an option for this coming week - can't let not having a car stop me!

- Listened to a lot of Andy's podcasts whilst on my long walk and at home.

- Arranged another date for Saturday (This chick seems a lot nicer, but meeting locally and not working my ass off for her being a simp!).

And that's it from me today guys. Gonna get an early night and hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow! Going to do some self-care and looking after myself, starting with sleeping early tonight.

Photos have been posted below for accountability purposes.

Thanks for reading and listening to me rant!

S
 
Well that took an unexpected turn with the crazy girl :)

That's why you don't count lays until after they happen, don't want to jinx them ;)

Sounds like a super random encounter, but you seem to be taking it in stride, funny story.
 
play_time_is_over said:
Well that took an unexpected turn with the crazy girl :)

That's why you don't count lays until after they happen, don't want to jinx them ;)

Sounds like a super random encounter, but you seem to be taking it in stride, funny story.
Click to expand...

Hey man yeah I think she's got some issues - glad they surfaced earlier on. She struck me as the type of girl who'd pick the condom out the bin after and try and baby trap you or some shit.

Lesson definitely learned - I won't be counting me chickens before they hatch again or however the saying goes!

Yeah trying to to see the funny side of it and if nothing else, it's been an interesting story to tell me mates. I text me best mate at the time and he gave me a ring to see if I was alright - helped me see and realise what a top bloke he is :)

Obviously won't mention her name or her details as I'm not a shitty person like she is. I was a little pissed off at the time, but I laughed it off and it's all an experience/learning curve 8-)

Got another date lined up for Saturday and I've screened her. We meeting local too so there won't be much of a loss if I get stood up again!

I used to live in the past and let shit like that bother me, but now I look to the future and move on. All in all, I feel a lot better today and I've been working on my goals so that's always a win.

Thanks for reading and for your support - much appreciated!

Kind Regards,

S
 
Update 16: 16/05/2021

Lay Count: 1

Hey Folks!

I hope you're all doing well. After a couple of shitty days, I'm feeling much better and have been looking after myself today. This has definitely improved my mental health and has stopped me from spiralling downward. Today I have made sure I ate plenty, drank enough water and looked after myself sleep wise. Also carried on working towards my goals - update below.

- Woke up at 05:30 - I know my watch says earlier, but I went back to bed for an hour and my later alarm went off. Didn't sleep great last night and that extra hour this morning really helped. Back to 04:30 tomorrow though!

- Finished the Dating Essentials book - definitely something I will keep around for reference. Would highly recommend this if you haven't already read it.

- My internet provider has recently made adjustments to it's security/firewall setting, so I couldn't access Andy's website or these forums :roll: Took action by buying a SurfShark VPN for 2 years at a discounted price. I have wanted one of these for a while and I can now access Andy's website and the forums. Instead of giving up on my goals when I hit an obstacle, I instead try to find a workaround and implement it like I have done here.

- I have gotten my gym clothes ready for tomorrow and packed my gym bag. Just as with the above, I encountered the obstacle of being without a car, but have now found a solution (just walk to the gym) instead of giving up. This will potentially also help with my cardio too and give me a baseline, slowly working towards another of my goals.

- I went for a long walk today and listened to my ambient music/soundtracks to unwind and clear my head. This helped a lot.

- I have listened to quite a few of Andy's podcasts today both whilst on my walk and whilst at home. This has helped me feel a lot better.

And that's it for today's update. Back to the gym tomorrow for just a light workout to get back into it and get reacquainted with my new gym. Anything heavier and I fear I'll be out of action for a week - I haven't worked out in so long due to the Government, in it's infinite wisdom, keeping gyms and fitness centres shut during a time where a virus has been severely affecting unfit people :roll: I digress.

I'm now going to start putting my lay count at the start of my posts to remind me and help me keep track of my main goal.

Photos have been posted below for accountability purposes.

Thanks for reading,

S
 
Update 17: 17/05/2021

Hey Folks

As the title says it was my first time back in the gym this morning - I went at 05:10 and did a light workout for an hour to get back into it. Thought I'd share a little story on what has motivated me to get back into working out.

About a month or two ago before I came and started posting on the KYIL forums, I met a chick for a Tinder date. She was giving me high interest indicators etc. over text and things were going well. Met her for a coffee date in person and she immediately became disinterested after seeing me. Her face almost 'dropped'.

After sticking around for a little while, I at first thought this girl was giving me 'shit-tests' which I can deal with and know how to pass, but I quickly realised she was actually just being downright rude and acting like a bitch: She called me 'Mr. Scrawny' several times, told me that I was 'too nice' and that she 'only dates dickheads'. I recently listened to Andy's Podcast on shit-tests and this just reaffirmed for me that it was purely shitty attitude and not any tests.

Needless to say, said date didn't last much longer after this shitty attitude. I was told by her not long after via text that she 'didn't feel a spark'. I didn't bother replying. The thing that got to me was the 'Mr. Scrawny' comments. Historically, I have always struggled with weight gain due to having kidney disease when I was a teenager.

I lost a lot of weight and ended up in hospital and I have always struggled to put this weight back on. This is not the first time that my weight has bothered me. People have made comments over the years and due to my slim stature, people likely think they can get away with a lot more with me as regards to taking the piss: Would you rather pick on the bodybuilder or kid that's built like a rake?

My family has also made the odd passing comment towards my weight over the years which hasn't really helped and just made me want to stay thin to spite everyone and 'rebel' like a dumbass :roll: not realising the only person who’s getting done over is myself.

I decided this date was the last straw.

I was a bit pissed off, considering this girl had gained a fair bit of weight over lockdown and I could have been a lot nastier back and made some comments of my own, but I'm not that kind of guy.

I'm not a bad guy, but I'm not a ‘nice guy’ either - I'd say I'm decent and a ‘recovering nice guy’ after reading the book recommended by Andy ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’.

This girl and her comments may have actually done me a favour and pushed me to get back into the gym and set up a diet plan. I know it's going to be a pain in the ass eating more and heading to the gym, but I'll keep at it and post my progress here. I'm also going to start weighing myself and may even take a few progress selfies to see how I look and allow for future comparisons. If I have the balls, I’ll post them here, but I’m still debating this. I’ll think on it a while longer.

An important note: I'm doing the Gym/Weight gain for me not for validation. This chick's comments was just the spark that I needed to get the fire going 8-)

Thanks for reading my little story.

On a side note, a few people have been commenting on here with messages of support which I am highly grateful for. Going forward, I shall now endeavour to emulate this and comment on at least 1 post a day to help support other members of this forum. I feel guilty and like I’m not being fair receiving encouragement yet not giving out any myself.

Here's my update from today:

- Woke up at 04:30 - Straight out of bed after my extra hour in bed yesterday and despite being woken up by a family member in the night to sort something - up and at em'!

- Went to the Gym and got there about 05:15 (25 minute walk). The gym wasn't busy at all unsurprisingly except for a few guys here and there. Interestingly enough, you don't have to wear a mask in there whilst working out! First building where I haven't had to in a long while and it honestly felt amazing. I enjoyed this rare 'privilege'. Did Chest and Triceps today which went well - light workout for the first one back. Will gradually increase so as to not kill myself - it is only my inner loser I wish to kill!

- Listened to Andy's Podcasts on the way to the Gym and back.

- Had coffee in my garden again whilst taking in the air.

- Started a new book on Stoicism. Definitely an area I have an interest in. Read 1 chapter and will aim to read a chapter a day. Picked this copy up cheap on eBay used, but in good condition, so a good spend of a few bucks.

- Started learning coding for my upcoming Computer Science Course.

- Packed my gym clothes ready for tomorrow.

- Went shopping and bought a dark denim jacket (as part of my rocker style) and a grey vest I liked (bonus as was on sale for cheap). Saw a denim I liked in Levi's the other week, but couldn't justify spending 80 bucks. Picked this one up for 20 and it looks similar. Can't complain 8-)

And that's it for today.

Photos have been posted below for accountability purposes.

Thanks for reading - bit of a long one, but wanted to get it off my chest.

Kind Regards,

S.
 
UPDATE 18: 18/05/2021

Lay Count: 1

Got up early and went to the gym again today so that's 2 days in a row. I am now going to set myself a mini-challenge:

I pledge that I will go to the gym 6 times in a row this week taking Sunday as my rest day.

2/6

Let's see if I can make it to the end. Today was Back and Bicep and I am aching all over, especially as I did Chest and Triceps yesterday. Leg day tomorrow. Still taking it fairly easy as it has been over a year since I last set foot in a gym, but my light workouts are still 50 minutes of hard work and I am feeling it, so must be doing something right.

Here is my update for today:

- Woke up just before 04:30.

- Listened to Andy's podcasts whilst walking to the Gym and working out.

- Took a break in my garden and had my morning coffee whilst taking time to reflect. This is doing wonders for my mental health.

- Packed my gym clothes for tomorrow.

- Did 4 hours paid work.

- Started reading some more of my book, but had to cut off due to work running over. Will finish the chapter later in bed tonight.

- Will go for a walk after dinner to clear my head if it stops raining - currently in the midst of a beautiful thunderstorm!

- Will look for a post to comment on after I have posted this as per what I mentioned yesterday and not feeling right getting support from other members of the forum but not giving any out myself.

And that's it for today's update. Just mostly focusing on getting back into the gym: Even if the workouts are light, I want to get into the routine of getting up early and going 6 days a week in the morning. Next focus will be diet and increasing workout intensity. After that it'll be cardio.

Was gonna do some coding today, but I've been getting computer headaches from work, so this will be on the list for tomorrow and photos posted when done for accountability.

Have also made the decision that I will start weighing myself from this coming Sunday along with taking progress pics (shirtless). I will hold off on posting these on here though for privacy reasons. You may have also noticed that I cropped my picture and have started using just my initial. This is nothing personal. Just don't want people looking me up.

Unfortunately, I live in a small town which sadly has a small-town mentality common amongst many of it's denizens :roll: and I wouldn't want certain idiots finding me on here as I am aware folks can do it through a quick Google search if they know what to specifically look for and what terms to input.

I'd rather limit the possibility of being found for my peace of mind 8-) Funny how people who were pathetic bullies in high school can't seem to be anything else other than just that! I have been stung by idiots on the internet before - Might even tell the story on one of my progress logs if anyone's interested. I could do with getting it off my chest being honest.

It involves my ex-girlfriend, a jealous beta-boy cuck guy friend, his brother's phone and a fake WhatsApp message generator app used to send messages from my 'secret girlfriend' :lol: Lol.

Sadly, even after all these years, people I went to school with who stuck around the area still have a hard time letting things go and I have no doubt my thoughts on here would end up shared all over many of the local idiots Social Media accounts.

Had to get those thoughts off my chest 8-)

Photos have been posted below for accountability purposes.

Thanks for reading!

S
 
UPDATE 19: 19/05/2021

Lay Count: 1

Despite being tired and not sleeping well last night, I still pushed through and managed to get to the Gym again carrying on with my pledge I made yesterday to get to the Gym 6 days in a row. Leg day was a killer! :twisted:

Gym Streak: 3/6

Also in the process of arranging a lay for Saturday night after I've met another Tinder date for coffee in the afternoon, although I'm not expecting or counting anything yet until it happens due to my experience with the crazy bitch last week! Big shout out to member play_time_is_over for the advice on this and not counting my lay before it happens! Pray for sunshine, but prepare for rain :lol: Updates to follow Sunday :arrow_up:

Despite being really tired today, I managed to get a fair bit done:

- Woke up at 04:30.

- Got to the gym at 05:20. It was foggy as Fuck this morning, but I still walked there and didn't let it stop me. Just took my sweet ass time and went slow as I didn't fancy getting hit by a car on the way down. Couldn't see a hand in front of my face for the first 10 minutes or so! Thankfully it started to clear shortly into my journey. Photo of the fog below. Saw an old school bully in the Gym and totally blanked him. This relates to what I was discussing in my previous post about the small town mentality. Guy's still an asshole even 10 years later :roll:

- Listened to Andy's Podcasts whilst on my way to, at, and on the way back from the gym. Blasted through a fair few of these today 8-)

- Had my morning coffee in my garden again. This again is very peaceful and works wonders for my mood. Will become part of my morning routine now I think.

- Read another chapter of my Stoicism book.

- Learnt Python coding for an hour.

- Chatted to my Tinder date for Saturday - I am not texting back often which seems to be intriguing her and drawing her in. We have quite a bit in common and she seems like a cool chick 8-) again, as per play_time_is_over 's advice, I'm not getting my hopes up too soon. I shall see and keep you all posted via here.

- Arranging the lay for Saturday night - nothing concrete yet, but she seems keen. Will play it out and see what happens.

And that's it for today - getting an early night as I'm pretty beat and it's gym time again tomorrow.

Photos have been posted below for accountability purposes.

Thanks for reading.

S
 
UPDATE 20: 20/05/2021

Lay Count: 1

Another milestone on the progress log posts today - I hit Day 20 This is quite a big deal for me as I have never really kept on with any self-improvement journey for more than a week or 2 at most for this long and have always faded out as my motivation has burned out.

Some days were only quick updates when I wasn't in the mood or tired, but I still have now posted for 20 consecutive days. I shall keep this up and carry on as I feel it is definitely helping.

I have gone to the gym again today:

Day 4/6 Gym Pledge now complete

Here's hoping I can get to day 6 and then I will look at doing a longer challenge/pledge - maybe 2 weeks or a month (with 1 rest day a week on Sundays and barring illness and injury).

I spent some money and went with a personal trainer before the very first lockdown who gave me 3 workouts to do but then the Gyms shut :roll: They are as follows:

Mondays and Thursdays: Chest and Triceps
Tuesdays and Fridays: Back and Biceps
Wednesdays and Saturdays: Legs and Shoulders
Sundays: Rest

I felt that the personal trainer was well worth the investment as I did not have a clue when I first started and ended up injuring my back through poor form.

Each workout basically gets repeated twice a week giving 3 days between each routine for my body to recover. I am going to go shopping tonight in preparation for my diet plan beginning next week and I shall weigh myself Sunday and take progress photographs.

Important Note: I am trying to Bulk up as much as possible as I have always been thin. It is only now that I have decided to seriously give it a go and put the effort in.

Also had a fairly productive day today. I did take a few hours to rest up mind and have a break, but I felt I needed this due to burnout.

- Woke up at 04:20 (blaze it!). I have started to get up a little earlier than my normal 04:30 as this gives me chance to get to the gym for about 5 - I can be out of there at 6 then when more users start showing up before work to workout. This is what works best for me as I hate crowded Gyms.

- Listened to Andy's Podcasts on the way to the Gym and whilst working out. It was a beautiful morning with a red/orange sky that looked almost apocalyptic! I stopped briefly for 5 minutes to admire it. Photo of this attached below - check it out!

- Had a coffee in my garden again. Rained today, but was nice to enjoy the calm while it lasted. Again really helping my mental health. I think deeply about things whilst I do this like where I am and where I want to go in life.

- I read through another chapter of my Stoicism book. The principles are starting to make sense and I shall try to start implementing these in my daily life and actions/thought processes.

- I have prepared my gym clothes for tomorrow.

- Decided not to meet my hook up Saturday night. Various reasons for this: Family are getting COVID jabs Saturday and had bad reactions last time, so I want to be around to help in case there's any adverse effects. Plus, I am pretty worried about wrecking my sleep pattern as I have just rest it for the gym. Getting laid is possibly going to take a back-burner for a little while until I get my body and mind in a better place. I shall ponder this over the next few days and look at maybe changing my main goal for 6 months or so then reassess.

- Took a couple hours off and watched The Mandalorian (needed a break as felt burnt out).

- I am going shopping shortly to buy food for my diet plan next week.

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes.

Thanks for reading

S.
 
UPDATE 21 (BlackJack!): 21/05/2021

Lay Count: 1

Gym Streak 5/6

Of my 6 day Gym pledge, I have now almost completed it. Just need to get up early tomorrow and hit the Gym again and that'll be 6 of 6.

'And then there were none'.

This will have been my longest Gym streak ever. For the past 10 years or so since I worked out on and off, I had a very serious case of 'Fuck-around-itis' and had no commitment whatsoever to my physical fitness and diet. Although a very small step towards acquiring the 'cure' to my 'Fuck-around-itis', I feel this is the start of a long journey. I am currently drafting a plan for where I want to be when I am 30 Years Old and physical fitness is currently the top priority to carry me through my 30's and 40's.

On another note, I bumped into a girl today who I took for a date once.

I worked with this girl a few years ago and she had a boyfriend. One day out of the blue, she asks me to go for a drink with her and says she's 'broken up' with her boyfriend.

She was kinda cute at the time and had an okay figure, blonde hair and was always sexually suggestive towards me at work (sticking tongue out, putting hands on me etc.) but I backed off at the time because I needed the money at this shit job and didn't wanna get fired plus as a man with some principles, I avoid chicks with boyfriends. In the run up to the date, she was hinting to a point that was blindingly obvious that she wanted to have some fun with me over text and in person.

To cut a long story short, she showed up in a tracksuit, little makeup, hair tied up and she played on her phone the whole night.

Me being a pathetic simp at the time, I tried to make it work, text back all the time, talked to her on the date and didn't confront her on her rude behaviours etc. So we parted ways at the end of the night and she made it clear that she 'wasn't feeling it'. At the time, I took this quite to heart as I hadn't been having much luck with the dating and was going through a few things which I may discuss at some point on here, but I don't feel ready to at this time.

Now, here's the part that pissed me off: I heard from another co-worker that she HADN'T in fact split up with her boyfriend and that they were merely 'on a break'. I'd been used as the rebound so she could make him feel jealous and brag 'I've been on a date!'. Following this, I cut contact and left her to it. Couple months go by, and she's pregnant - in order to 'improve' her bad relationship, she got knocked up 'by accident'.

I saw her today for the first time in years and no longer is she a kinda cute blonde: No makeup, lots of weight, dyed dark hair and she looks tired as hell.

So what happened when I saw her?

She was all over me.

Hugging me, making conversation, actively interested, questioning me why I hadn't text her back. I have matured a little since I saw her last - now got a decent beard, ear piercing, looks have improved, no acne, clothing/style improvements, accessories, haircut etc.

All she did was complain about her boyfriend, how tired she was as she now has to work 2 jobs due to having a child and questioned why I hadn't got into contact (she gave me her number a while back - I threw it away and didn't even bother texting).

A few interesting observations here:

- She recognised and approached me first.
- I pulled away when she tried to hug me (Years ago I woulda welcomed any physical contact with a chick).
- She was flirting a lot despite having a child and boyfriend still.
- She was inquiring whether I had my own place *Hint* *Hint*.
- She got slightly pissed when I said I'm moving away and she suggested I 'come say goodbye' - 'Probably won't have time' I replied.
- Tried to walk away several times as I wasn't interested at all and she kept following me.
- I was negging her, teasing and acting uninterested and she loved it.

Now she was no longer in top condition and trapped in an unhappy relationship, I was suddenly an attractive prospect.

What a role reversal from a couple years ago.

Needless to say, I won't be getting involved with this chick at all. Made me feel good though to walk away and reaffirmed that I am no longer the Simp I was in my late teens and very early 20's 8-)

I won the long game on that one.

Anyway, just an interesting story I wanted to log for future reference. I look forward to reading back over these in the future.

Today I:

- Woke up at 04:15. Rolled outta bed at 25 past. Didn't sleep great, but hoping to get an early night as soon as I've posted this.

- Hit the Gym for 05:00. Listened to Andy's Podcasts on the walk down and whilst working out.

- Had coffee in my garden again - really enjoying these.

- Did 3 Hours paid work - quite productive today.

- Met a buddy for lunch. Discussed Red Pill Theory, Gym, Relationships, Girls and lent him my copy of 'The Rational Male'. Felt good to hang out in a bar/restaurant again. Damn Lockdown :roll:

On a side note, I sent him across Andy's Tinder guide a couple weeks back and he said that he was using it and having some modest success. Shout out to Andy for this one. Thanks Brother - you helped another guy in his time of need after he went through a bad breakup and has started to get back out there into the world of internet dating KillYourInnerLoser :arrow_up:

- Prepped my Gym clothes for tomorrow.

- Read through some of my Stoicism book. Pretty beat though so I'll carry on tomorrow.

- Gave thanks to and posted on honeybadger's log. He's doing some good work with his AA program and I look forward to seeing his future updates and posts.

Photos have been posted below for accountability purposes.

Thanks for reading.

S
 
UPDATE 22: 22/05/2021

Lay Count: 1

Gym Pledge: 6/6

Gym sub goal now complete - I got up at 4:30 A.M for 6 consecutive days and went to the Gym. I will now take tomorrow off as my rest day as planned.

This was a real big initial step and I am now going to set another sub-goal in the coming days (perhaps to hit the Gym for 2 weeks straight taking Sundays as rest days).

Also today I went on a Tinder date which went very well.

I've been a little anxious about meeting someone else since my fiasco with a psycho bitch who left me stranded in the middle of Bum Fuck nowhere and sent through a load of abuse for no reason a week or two ago (see previous posts on this log). This however is a defeatist attitude/mindset and by giving in to this, I am effectively letting her win.

So I thought Fuck that bitch and met this girl today 8-)

And I'm glad I did. She's a cute blonde who's 35, but looks 25. This suits me fine as although there's an age gap, young chicks have always messed me around, ghosted and not been completely honest - see a couple of my previous posts on here for evidence.
She's got her own place, likes her independence, doesn't complain or blow up my phone if I don't text back for a couple days either: She's got her shit going on and I got mine. She doesn't want anything serious by the sounds of things as she likes her independence and so do I. Spent 2 hours with her and had coffee and good conversation.

We even swapped books as we both have an interest in Philosophy and Psychology. She seems a cool chick and the conversation flowed. Says she wants to hang again, but I'm not gonna get my hopes up - play_time_is_over, still taking your advice into account ;)

I'll hang with her another time if she does decide she wants to and then on the 3rd date, I'll see about heading back to her place (I have a 3 date rule which I think is fair and reasonable) so I'll keep this log updated going forward. I did genuinely enjoy her company.

Here's a breakdown of today:

- Woke up at 04:30 and rolled outta bed at 04:40 - It's Saturday, so I wasn't exactly in a rush as the Gym's dead at 05:00.

- Had a slow walk down to the gym and worked out. Left at 06:00.

- Had the Tinder date.

- Read another chapter of my Stoicism book on the way home.

- Posted on Sin Silver's log - he's been doing some good work in the Gym like me this week.

That's it for today really - took a break kind of but still got stuff done as it's been a long ass week.

Photos have been posted below for accountability purposes.

Regards,

S.
 
UPDATE 23: 23/05/2021

Current Weight: 10 St. 13 lbs.

After a great deal of consideration over the past couple of days and identifying several issues from the various Tinder dates I have been on, I have decided to change my current goal from 'Getting Laid' to 'Bulking Up'.

Today I took a break from the gym (as planned) and went on a few walks to think deeply before making my decision.

As you will have seen from my previous logs, I have been attracting low quality women who are just generally shitty people who do shitty things.

In order to attract better quality women and make things work for me, I have decided to focus on my Gym workout, diet, and looks/style.

This is something I shall dynamically review going forward. I am moving away come September for my University degree and I will have my own place and will be in a city which means much better prospects and more females. I may therefore decide to postpone trying to get laid until then.

I shall continue dating the one girl I have seen recently (cute blonde) as she seemed very on my level and was respectful. I got good vibes from her and she didn’t act like the previous idiots I’ve seen.

I have done the following today as a result of my decision:

- Deleted all dating apps that I am on - POF, Tinder, Badoo and Bumble.

- Have decided not to actively seek out anyone else either electronically or by means of cold approach.

- Spoken to several girls that I have been speaking to and explained I am not going to be meeting for the foreseeable. Felt better to do this than just ghost as I would've done years ago.

- Focused on my diet today and did some meal prep ready for the coming week.

Today I have also:

- Woke up at 05:30 - took an extra hour to help my sleep and as part of my Gym rest day.

- Listened to several of Andy's Podcasts.

- Had my morning coffee outside.

- Got my workout clothes ready for tomorrow.

- Weighed myself and took progress pics.

And that's it for me today - short and sweet, but a crucial decision has now been made.

No photos for today as I've taken a break from my computer/phone except for this update.

Regards,

S.
 
UPDATE 24: 24/05/2021

New Gym Streak Challenge: 7/12 Days

Bit of a bad day today not gonna lie.

I've got some other things going on at the minute which I can't discuss, but a few things happened today which pissed me off:

- Had a dream about my ex last night. Broke up late last year due to other people getting involved and interfering with our relationship which put a strain on it and caused trust issues. I'll tell the story one day when I'm ready about the 'nice guy beta cuck' guy friend of hers who pretended to be my secret girlfriend and used another phone and a WhatsApp message generator to message her. Broke my heart that it was other people who just didn't seem to want us to be happy together and felt that I wasn't good enough for her as opposed to me Fucking up.

- Was in the Gym early and ran into 3 assholes I went to school with - all bullies. Thought by going at that time I'd avoid these dipshits, but no such luck.

- Cute Blonde who I took for coffee the weekend has said she doesn't see a romantic connection and just wants to be 'Friends' - Fuck that :roll:

- Started my diet plan which is good, but I've still felt sick all day as I'm not used to eating this much.

- The general bullshit I've had to put up with over the past couple of weeks.

I have these days sometimes where things pile on top of me and the depression creeps back in. Thoughts of what could have been and how things could've gone better. The Stoicism book helps, but words on a page are a lot different than lived experiences.

I did however:

- Get up early and hit the Gym.

- Been listening to Andy's Podcasts - helped take my mind off things.

- Prepped my Gym clothes for Tomorrow.

- Hit my bulk diet.

- Have been posting to other member's progress logs/posts with words of support and encouragement.

- Have been for a walk earlier to clear my head.

Few photos below for accountability purposes etc. but I'm really not feeling it today. Gonna head out for another walk and maybe get an early night see if tomorrow goes any better.

Wish me luck.

Regards,

S.
 
UPDATE 25: 25/05/2021

Gym Goals:8/12

Feeling a bit better today. I've found that music is really helping me out. Just put my earphones in and Tune out 8-)

As I said yesterday I'm working through a few things lately which I can't discuss, but are causing me a bit of grief. Another week or so and I should be back to normal once they have been resolved. As such, my motivation and drive has definitely taken a hit. Trying not to let things get to me, but easier said than done.

I may discuss these more in-depth at some point, but to cut it short, I've had a bit of grief from girls I've dated on Tinder. Various issues over the past few weeks which has now lead up to my decision to delete ALL dating site memberships. Just been problem after problem with a string of low-quality women who have done pretty shitty things. I'm gonna sit this one out for a while and come back in a couple months when I'm going to be living in a new city.

I have however managed to get a few things done today and hope to be back to normal and more productive from next week:

- Woke up at 04:15.

- Went to the Gym.

- Had coffee in my garden.

- Did 4 hours paid work.

- Kept (mostly) to my bulk diet.

That's it for today. Might go for a walk soon. As a bare minimum, I'll keep hitting the gym. No photos as I just can't be bothered.

Regards

S.
 
Adam said:
Good luck with the bulk and keep on hitting the gym. Remember that bulking takes a long time. If you want to take a break from dating apps go ahead, but I'd recommend you start dating again once you've got a few weeks of diet and gym compliance going. Because once you've got the habits in place, there's not much you can do to make it faster. You're just letting the process work at that point.
Click to expand...

Hey Adam

Thanks for the advice mate. I've had a few things going on with girls I've met from Tinder and the with the one girl it's turned into a bit of a nightmare, so I'm taking a 1 month Sabbatical from all the apps.

I'll give it 30 days and then see how I feel. As a minimum, I'm getting in the Gym every day (except Sundays) and keeping up with the workout programme I'm on as I don't want to lose the progress on this.

Thanks for the support - much appreciated

Regards,

S.
 
UPDATE 26: 26/05/2021

Gym Goal: 9/12

Been up and down today, but hoping I'll be back to normal next week and I can hit the ground running again. Got some bullshit going on at the minute which I'm working through, but should be sorted very soon so I can move on.

- Woke up at 04:30.

- Hit the Gym for 05:10.

- Back on the diet - going fairly well.

- Listened to several of Andy's Podcasts - these are really helping me get through the day.

- Packed my Gym clothes for tomorrow.

- Did some gardening.

- May go for a walk in an hour to clear my head and get out of the house.

That's it for today folks. Might have an hour or two on the Xbox tomorrow to keep my mind off things. Haven't played it in months as I have been trying to focus on my goals, so might take a break.

From next week, I'll look at doing more in-depth updates once my head is in the right place.

Thanks for reading.

Regards,

S.
 
UPDATE 27: 27/05/2021

Just a quick one today

- Woke up at 04:30

- Hit the gym at 05:00

- Listened to some of Andy’s podcasts.

Will post more after this weekend

Regards,

S.
 
UPDATE 28: 28/05/2021

Just a quick one again - got a bit upset today. Taking some time off for self-care until my head is in a better place. Updates to follow

S.
 
UPDATE 29: 29/05/2021

Have I got a story for you!

Some of you may have read my previous logs and seen that I haven't been having a very good time lately which ultimately culminated in me deleting all my Online Dating accounts, ruining my Gym progress and having a full on breakdown last night.

Last week I got a text out of the blue from someone I dated last month: 'You've given me the clap'.

'Oh Fuck.' I thought.

After initially panicking and calming myself down, I text back and said I'd get a test. This was a Fucking ball ache as due to COVID, walk-in clap clinics are all closed and I couldn't get a test as 'I'm over 25 now'. The healthcare system in this country is a complete Fucking joke to say the least.

Eventually, I thought 'Fuck it' and paid for a private test. Again due to COVID, this took from Saturday to yesterday to get my results. Now I've always been careful and rubber up when dating girls, but the thoughts were still there. I started to believe this girl and thought I'd had a disease for a couple of years and that I'd maybe passed it on to my ex. I kept thinking I'd have to contact her and tell her and how I'd never forgive myself.

This just kept bringing up painful memories for me throughout the week and I've been very depressed as a result. I didn't properly process our breakup last year due to other things going on at home, so this hit me like a ton of bricks.

After freaking out for almost 7 days, I got the result back: Negative.

I sent it to this chick as proof, told her not to contact me again and then blocked her.

If I had to guess, I think she was seeing someone else around the same time or just before. I picked this up from subtle cues in the conversations I'd been having with her e.g. 'I need to know if it's you'.

I had a brief argument with my father last night, but things are okay today once we had it out. The stress of the week really got to me and I had a complete breakdown last night and lost it.

I've struggled with depression, anxiety and PTSD for many years and this just tipped me over the edge.

I woke up today feeling a bit better, but have decided to take this weekend off and give myself some self-care. I'm gonna get back in the Gym next week and re-start my streak - at least I went 4 times this week and worked through the routines once, so I shouldn't lose much in the way of gains. Sleep pattern is Fucked now though as I couldn't get out of bed for a couple of days.

Thanks to Adam, Master and play_time_is_over for the continued support and advice.

I'll get back on it Monday then update here.

Regards,

S.
 
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