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THE BROWN SHOGUN - japanese language progress + social life update

ur mental health sucks???

u have anxiety???

u have depression???

ur always distracted???

u can't stop jerking off???

u can't stop ur weed smoking urges???

u can't stop ur urge to vape???

u have zero discipline???

u can't focus???

boy do i have the solution for u..............


meditating/focused breathing
meditating has to be the best thing i have discovered recently, specifically the kind where you just focus on breathing.

i have been doing it pretty regularly for about a month now (earlier, 3-4x a week, now more like 1-2x a day, if not more)

there are a lot of different kinds of "meditating" and it also has a lot of connotations including ones of being some hullabaloo voodoo spirit magic nonsense technique that only ascetic tibetan monks do, so to be more specific, i will be calling this "focused breathing" from now on.

but it's not anything that hasn't been touted by the latest self-improvement gurus, and they call it meditation

this has to be the easiest possible tool/routine to add into your life. so much that if you just read the steps you probably won't even believe it does anything.

this is LITERALLY the process:
colgate said:
1. set a timer (10 mins for a "session", 3 mins for a "quickie")
2. close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly, thinking about "in" "out" ONLY
3. at some point your brain will wander into some thought pattern.
4, try to realize it as quickly as possible and get back to "in" "out".
5, go to 2 until timer stops
Click to expand...

"bro i tried this, it doesn't work. i keep having thoughts"

that's because that's the point!!!!!!!

this is literally the mental/focus equivalent of going to the gym and lifting weights.

you are training your brain to just focus on a singular task by tell your brain to stfu when it has any "genius ideas" beyond said singular task (any thoughts ranging from innocent "oh i have to take out the trash" to "oh man, i really want to jerk off right now" to your worst anxiety/depression triggers)

it's pretty obvious when you actually engage in focused breathing. those thoughts will be sure to come up during sessions. but you're supposed to be focusing on IN OUT no matter what. so you have to just bat them away. there's no other option.

and sometimes it's fucking hard. i've found in these moments that physically moving my arms with the breaths to "struggle" for the "rep" and just """LOUDLY THINKING""" IN OUT IN OUT works

btw, you will definitely think at some point "ok, how much time is left". yes this is also a wandering thought pattern. this happens to me every time, multiple times. just know that the IN OUT will end at some point, and refocus on IN OUT IN OUT.

also don't feel bad if you accidentally/uncontrollably check the time mid-sesh. it's not a "failure". just recognize that you got out of focus and wandered, and continue meditating to the end.


ok colgate-guru (wow you aren't even actually indian you were raised in america), what's the point of this
the point of this is over time, your brain starts to learn what it's like to be in a state of focus.

the task of IN OUT is extremely simple, that's why it's the task.

you realize you can replace the "breathing" of "focused breathing" with focused ANYTHING.

you start to observe times in your life when you have some task before you, but you keep mentally (maybe even physically!) wandering off and not completing it, and the thought of completing it is total pain.

"ok colgate, you gotta fuckin eat this rice. i know you don't want to. stop pacing around the kitchen. stop playing on the phone. EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT"

"hmmm, maybe i shouldn't be getting enraged at seeing yet another lanky white nerd with some yamato stunner. LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT"

"workout is hard? nobody cares. let's focus on the break clock. 1:14 1:15 1:16 1:17 1:18 1:19"

"omg japanese is so hard why did they even invent this language....wait....READ READ READ READ READ" <<<<< inventing mental chants like this is a good idea




so i'll definitely be posting more about meditating/focused breathing in this log because i've seen the benefits from even a month of pretty regular adherence.

probably next week i will post about how i use this to go to sleep (i want to test it for more nights and throw it into more situations).
 
TOMORROW I WILL BE A SUCCESS

() wake up at 6:30am
() eat breakfast
() dynamic stretching
() meditate 10 mins
() go to the gym (leg workout)
() meditate 10 mins AGAIN IMMEDIATELY when i get back (new activity)


30 mins no screens is a good idea, and i want to implement it in my schedule in the long term.

the problem is it can't be in the morning, because any valuable activity i would do without any screens is going to make me fall asleep. (oh wait i could literally just go outside...LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will get back to this later...)

colgate said:
uhhh.....except i went home and frantically searched random apartments with "better logistics" that i'm not even going to move into, and then like 2 hours of random browsing and iofuergqeorhq34i89qu5ghipq

i felt like today was so focused up until that point
Click to expand...
one of the most "vulnerable" times i have is when i come back from being out. especially if i've been out for hours.

being outside basically just pounds my brain with random stimuli and i want to just unwind and relax.

my default being random internet browsing, which really only mentally hypes me up.

we're going to sub that with meditating for 10 mins as soon as i get home and see what happens.
 
ur mental health sucks???

u have anxiety???

u have depression???

ur always distracted???

u can't stop jerking off???

u can't stop ur weed smoking urges???

u can't stop ur urge to vape???

u have zero discipline???

u can't focus???

boy do i have the solution for u..............


meditating/focused breathing
meditating has to be the best thing i have discovered recently, specifically the kind where you just focus on breathing.

i have been doing it pretty regularly for about a month now (earlier, 3-4x a week, now more like 1-2x a day, if not more)

there are a lot of different kinds of "meditating" and it also has a lot of connotations including ones of being some hullabaloo voodoo spirit magic nonsense technique that only ascetic tibetan monks do, so to be more specific, i will be calling this "focused breathing" from now on.

but it's not anything that hasn't been touted by the latest self-improvement gurus, and they call it meditation

this has to be the easiest possible tool/routine to add into your life. so much that if you just read the steps you probably won't even believe it does anything.

this is LITERALLY the process:
colgate said:
1. set a timer (10 mins for a "session", 3 mins for a "quickie")
2. close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly, thinking about "in" "out" ONLY
3. at some point your brain will wander into some thought pattern.
4, try to realize it as quickly as possible and get back to "in" "out".
5, go to 2 until timer stops
Click to expand...

"bro i tried this, it doesn't work. i keep having thoughts"

that's because that's the point!!!!!!!

this is literally the mental/focus equivalent of going to the gym and lifting weights.

you are training your brain to just focus on a singular task by tell your brain to stfu when it has any "genius ideas" beyond said singular task (any thoughts ranging from innocent "oh i have to take out the trash" to "oh man, i really want to jerk off right now" to your worst anxiety/depression triggers)

you have to understand and accept that no matter what, you will always have "those thoughts". and "eliminating those thoughts" entirely isn't the point. the point is to be able to bat them away so you can focus on whatever more important thing you're supposed to be doing.

it's pretty obvious when you actually engage in focused breathing. those thoughts will be sure to come up during sessions. but you're supposed to be focusing on IN OUT no matter what. so you have to just bat them away. there's no other option.

and sometimes it's fucking hard. i've found in these moments that physically moving my arms with the breaths to "struggle" for the "rep" and just """LOUDLY THINKING""" IN OUT IN OUT works

btw, you will definitely think at some point "ok, how much time is left". yes this is also a wandering thought pattern. this happens to me every time, multiple times. just know that the IN OUT will end at some point, and refocus on IN OUT IN OUT.

also don't feel bad if you accidentally/uncontrollably check the time mid-sesh. it's not a "failure". just recognize that you got out of focus and wandered, and continue meditating to the end.


ok colgate-guru (wow you aren't even actually indian you were raised in america), what's the point of this
the point of this is over time, your brain starts to learn what it's like to be in a state of focus.

the task of IN OUT is extremely simple, that's why it's the task.

you realize you can replace the "breathing" of "focused breathing" with focused ANYTHING.

you start to observe times in your life when you have some task before you, but you keep mentally (maybe even physically!) wandering off and not completing it, and the thought of completing it is total pain.

"ok colgate, you gotta fuckin eat this rice. i know you don't want to. stop pacing around the kitchen. stop playing on the phone. EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT"

"hmmm, maybe i shouldn't be getting enraged at seeing yet another lanky white nerd with some yamato stunner. LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT"

"workout is hard? nobody cares. let's focus on the break clock. 1:14 1:15 1:16 1:17 1:18 1:19"

"omg japanese is so hard why did they even invent this language....wait....READ READ READ READ READ" <<<<< inventing mental chants like this is a good idea




so i'll definitely be posting more about meditating/focused breathing in this log because i've seen the benefits from even a month of pretty regular adherence.

probably next week i will post about how i use this to go to sleep (i want to test it for more nights and throw it into more situations).
 
TODAY I WAS A SUCCESS

✅ wake up at 6:30am
✅ eat breakfast
✅ dynamic stretching
✅ meditate 10 min
✅ go to the gym (leg workout)
✅ meditate 10 mins AGAIN IMMEDIATELY when i get back (new activity)


the meditating after i get back from the gym works, but it's certainly not magic yet. at least it made my morning centered around trying to set up anki instead of mindlessly browsing. though the computer does the opposite of what meditation does to my brain.

my dream is to be able to use the computer like the powerful tool it is, and not just as a source of cheap pleasure.

in order to do that, when i do use the computer it has to be focused.

and in order for me not to rely on it as a source of pleasure, my life has to be awesome outside of it.

there's a looooooong way to go on this.

hell i should be meditating before i eat breakfast because otherwise my mind is too all over the place when i wake up, and i get easily distracted on my phone/too hard to focus on eating. also i should just get more onigiri because they're easier to eat instead of a bento box.
 
TOMORROW I WILL BE A SUCCESS

() no computer or phone after 9:30pm (meditation timer for phone ok)
() wake up at 6:30am
() meditate 10 min
() eat breakfast
() dynamic stretching
() hyperbolic stretching - side splits
() take shower immediately after

rest day for gym. ideally i would be doing both gym and hyperbolic stretching immediately after, but i'm taking things one at a time rn.

also the next day starts with the previous night's sleep. i have been actually going to bed around 23:00-0:00, but it's because i didn't make a commitment to going to bed earlier. so that will be part of the "next day's" plan now.
 
TODAY I WAS A SUCCESS

✅ no computer or phone after 9:30pm (meditation timer for phone ok)
✅ wake up at 6:30am
✅ meditate 10 min
✅ eat breakfast
✅ dynamic stretching
✅ hyperbolic stretching - side splits
✅ take shower immediately after

ok even tho i am getting enough (?) sleep (7-ish hours), i basically have no energy until like 3pm still

and i end up just napping from like 9-12ish

and on the other hand i'm wired and energetic af now at 9pm

but i'm pretty sure even though i'm able to go to bed and wake up on time now, my body's clock is still like at least 5-6 hours behind of where it should be

i'm going to keep this 6:30am thing up until i leave japan in feb, and decide if i should be doing it when i return in march. although i'll also have language school then which will be good because i wont be a fucking NEET anymore lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i was reading this guy's site today about his nampa/dating stories
http://cknanpa.com/88.html
http://cknanpa.com/blog-entry-183.html

u can translate the pages if u wanna find out what they are about

but anyway, when i would read e.g. andy's stories a year and a half ago i was basically captivated and felt like i was in some magical universe.
https://killyourinnerloser.com/that-time-i-banged-a-girl-i-just-met/

but this time when i read these similar kinds of stories, i couldn't imagine myself in that position. it felt so far away. like i wasn't meant to do it.

i fell asleep and then woke up and started watching nonsense youtube.

until i hit a "funny compilation" video with EDM and laugh tracks randomly inserted all over the place



WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??????????????????????????????

THIS IS FUCKING BRAINWASHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY WANT US TO BE RETARDS?????????????????? THEY WANT TO TURN OUR BRAINS INTO MUSH?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

THEY WANT US TO ONLY ENJOY THIS DIGITAL METH AND NOTHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i did a meditation for literally like 2 minutes and then opened some japanese videos

this was one of the videos i watched
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M9GW-t-qGc

and i understood it almost 100% on the first try!!!!!

most of the youtube i watch anyway is japanese but it's usually just cute weather girl clips which i can basically mindlessly understand already (because they usually put the japanese subs in the video anyway so i end up just reading the subs lolol)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM-PRkXnZ9k

but for anything more complex than "omg pretty!!!! it's so sunny today!!!!!" i usually have to sit down and concentrate and repeatedly loop/slow down/take notes to understand it

(ok let me give myself more credit, this is more complex than "omg kawaii" etc lol)

so i felt a lot better after that

戦え！！！！！！！




i think i just got overwhelmed by how much i'll have to do for success here in japan

i'm even going to argue it's probably actually harder than america

whether it's harder or not is one thing, but it is certainly completely different

some things remain the same, still have to get ultra jacked and etc blah blah




fffffuck it's 9:30pm let's just go to bed haha

and get ready for tomorrow's war with the todo list
 
TOMORROW I WILL BE A SUCCESS

() no computer or phone after 9:30pm (meditation timer for phone ok) (lol ok it's 9:37pm but after this)
() wake up at 6:30am
() meditate 10 min
() eat breakfast
() dynamic stretching
() back day gym (bring straps!!!)
() hyperbolic stretching - front splits
() take shower immediately after
() 150g protein

i need to get back into actual bulking again. i've maintained 68.5kg for a few weeks now but now that i'm gymming again we need to get the diet back on track. will do 150g protein tomorrow, and then introduce the calories again.

also the "depression" i felt earlier today was a sense of powerlessness. that was more true when i couldn't go to the gym a few weeks ago. but now i am going. and the diet needs to happen again
 
colgate said:
ur mental health sucks???

u have anxiety???

u have depression???

ur always distracted???

u can't stop jerking off???

u can't stop ur weed smoking urges???

u can't stop ur urge to vape???

u have zero discipline???

u can't focus???

boy do i have the solution for u..............


meditating/focused breathing
meditating has to be the best thing i have discovered recently, specifically the kind where you just focus on breathing.

i have been doing it pretty regularly for about a month now (earlier, 3-4x a week, now more like 1-2x a day, if not more)

there are a lot of different kinds of "meditating" and it also has a lot of connotations including ones of being some hullabaloo voodoo spirit magic nonsense technique that only ascetic tibetan monks do, so to be more specific, i will be calling this "focused breathing" from now on.

but it's not anything that hasn't been touted by the latest self-improvement gurus, and they call it meditation

this has to be the easiest possible tool/routine to add into your life. so much that if you just read the steps you probably won't even believe it does anything.

this is LITERALLY the process:
colgate said:
1. set a timer (10 mins for a "session", 3 mins for a "quickie")
2. close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly, thinking about "in" "out" ONLY
3. at some point your brain will wander into some thought pattern.
4, try to realize it as quickly as possible and get back to "in" "out".
5, go to 2 until timer stops
Click to expand...

"bro i tried this, it doesn't work. i keep having thoughts"

that's because that's the point!!!!!!!

this is literally the mental/focus equivalent of going to the gym and lifting weights.

you are training your brain to just focus on a singular task by tell your brain to stfu when it has any "genius ideas" beyond said singular task (any thoughts ranging from innocent "oh i have to take out the trash" to "oh man, i really want to jerk off right now" to your worst anxiety/depression triggers)

you have to understand and accept that no matter what, you will always have "those thoughts". and "eliminating those thoughts" entirely isn't the point. the point is to be able to bat them away so you can focus on whatever more important thing you're supposed to be doing.

it's pretty obvious when you actually engage in focused breathing. those thoughts will be sure to come up during sessions. but you're supposed to be focusing on IN OUT no matter what. so you have to just bat them away. there's no other option.

and sometimes it's fucking hard. i've found in these moments that physically moving my arms with the breaths to "struggle" for the "rep" and just """LOUDLY THINKING""" IN OUT IN OUT works

btw, you will definitely think at some point "ok, how much time is left". yes this is also a wandering thought pattern. this happens to me every time, multiple times. just know that the IN OUT will end at some point, and refocus on IN OUT IN OUT.

also don't feel bad if you accidentally/uncontrollably check the time mid-sesh. it's not a "failure". just recognize that you got out of focus and wandered, and continue meditating to the end.


ok colgate-guru (wow you aren't even actually indian you were raised in america), what's the point of this
the point of this is over time, your brain starts to learn what it's like to be in a state of focus.

the task of IN OUT is extremely simple, that's why it's the task.

you realize you can replace the "breathing" of "focused breathing" with focused ANYTHING.

you start to observe times in your life when you have some task before you, but you keep mentally (maybe even physically!) wandering off and not completing it, and the thought of completing it is total pain.

"ok colgate, you gotta fuckin eat this rice. i know you don't want to. stop pacing around the kitchen. stop playing on the phone. EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT"

"hmmm, maybe i shouldn't be getting enraged at seeing yet another lanky white nerd with some yamato stunner. LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT"

"workout is hard? nobody cares. let's focus on the break clock. 1:14 1:15 1:16 1:17 1:18 1:19"

"omg japanese is so hard why did they even invent this language....wait....READ READ READ READ READ" <<<<< inventing mental chants like this is a good idea




so i'll definitely be posting more about meditating/focused breathing in this log because i've seen the benefits from even a month of pretty regular adherence.

probably next week i will post about how i use this to go to sleep (i want to test it for more nights and throw it into more situations).
Click to expand...

Had to quote the whole post it was so fucking good!

Very, very well said colgate 🫡

Meditation is a meta skill that improves everything else.

You've got me so pumped I'm gonna go meditate right now 😇
 
Going to try daily meditation as well. Only thing that's annoying is that I need total silence to do it. Cat wouldn't stop bothering me when I was 8 minutes into the meditation session. Earplugs only do so much.

It's definitely a very beneficial tool though, although I've heard you have to do it every day for awhile before you see any major improvements.

However, I imagine if you did 30+ minutes (or heck, even 10 minutes) of meditation daily for a year, it would be life changing.
 
Another here for trying meditation. There are a few things I’d like clarity on. Going to give this a go!
 
Squilliam said:
although I've heard you have to do it every day for awhile before you see any major improvements.
Click to expand...
the "micro" level improvement i've noticed is basically a "focus pump" where since you were literally focused on the absolutely boring task of breathing in and out for x minutes, you temporarily gain the ability to have increased focus on some other intensive task, plus not randomly wander off for few hours.

the "macro" level improvements i've seen in about a month are
- finding opportunities to be "focused" and trying to find ways to "meditate in the moment" of what you are doing (e.g.: mentally chanting LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT while walking)
- realizing that if you have some retard anxiety/depression thought pattern you can (temporarily) "meditate it away". (i say temporarily because ultimately you will need to resolve whatever is making these happen. but being able to temporarily bat such thoughts away is powerful, in the times when you most need it (especially when you're trying to do said things to get rid of those thoughts))
- generally catching yourself being distracted more often and refocusing (because repeated refocusing is EXACTLY what meditation is!!!)

i've also found these personal points of improvement that i need to work on
- actually going and meditating (even for 2-3 mins) when i do get distracted/anxious/depressed. this is harder than actually meditating itself somehow. needs to become a habit basically
- actually refocusing during certain meditation sessions. i've been experimenting with repeated 3 minute intervals for going to sleep, but the issue is when I'm trying to sleep, I'm used to mentally wandering off for looooong periods of time. the buzzers at least help with reminding me to refocus?? I'll keep this the same for a while


btw if you want some fun whoopity doo ZOMG THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY for this, for androids i've found the app Timer Widget - Tea Time useful for this. i set up timer widgets on my home screen with vibration only alarms for
top: meditation (short), this one keeps repeating until i manually stop it if I don't feel focused (mainly been using the auto-repeating for going to sleep)
bottom: meditation (normal)



i know a lot of guys might not be religious here, but i think this is actually what "praying" does for people. pray before you eat to focus on the food, pray when times are tough so you can focus on getting through it. pray before you go to sleep to mentally wash yourself. etc etc. i'm a simple man and prefer just focusing on breathing instead though lol
 
natedawg, Squilliam

Meditation also makes sex better, especially breathing slowly and with your belly while focusing simply on your breath going in and out like colgate said.

I've been with my partners for five years, and a few weeks ago when I tried breathing like this and meditating during sex for the first time it was an amazing experience and I felt super in control and comfortable maintaining intense eye contact and like I could have fucked her for as long as I wanted.

Afterwards she told me it was extra good for her as well and that I had a very confident look in my eyes that really drove her wild.

Give it a try and see for yourself!
 
wow today i CRUSHED it

✅ no computer or phone after 9:30pm (meditation timer for phone ok) (lol ok it's 9:37pm but after this)
✅ wake up at 6:30am
✅ meditate 10 min
✅ eat breakfast
✅ dynamic stretching
✅ back day gym (bring straps!!!)
✅ hyperbolic stretching - front splits
✅ take shower immediately after
✅ 150g protein (177!)

i even managed to eat 3500+ calories without trying!!
View attachment 1

i'm also able to do rows again whereas previously i couldn't due to the shoulder injury. good sign

tbh i am tired as fuck in the morning though, despite getting enough sleep. i'm getting better at falling asleep once i shut off the lights when i finally properly refocus with the repeated 3min meditations

and as a result i felt like i didn't try very hard during the workout.

so from now on i am going to make sure i CHAD RUN to the gym instead of sluggishly virgin-walking (it's about 600m from my house).


i used to walk on an inclined treadmill for 5 mins before my workouts in nashville, but i stopped doing that in japan. it wasn't a problem earlier because i was doing my workouts in the afternoon/evening earlier, but i like doing them in the morning as part of my todo list so i can just get it out of the way lol



i also had a call with a new japanese teacher on italki. i wanted to practice phone procedure conversations again but this time with a girl because girls sound different.

anyway there were two scenarios, one to reserve a hot spring and another to reserve a table at a restaurant. i ended up making up scenarios like "oh i have 3 kids, do you guys have kids menus" etc.

at the end of the lesson, the teacher asked me if i had kids, because i kept asking about kids prices and kids discounts. i was like lol no but i would like kids in the future, though i was just trying to make the scenarios more complex. she laughed and commented that it was like i was preparing to be a dad in japan

after the call i was like damn yeah, when asked to make up scenarios on the fly involving myself, i just ended up asking about "my kids", as if my brain knows in the future that is a situation i'll be in.




ok the WAR WITH THE TODO LIST has been happening for a week now. this is where i started
colgate said:
TOMORROW I WILL BE A SUCCESS

I DON'T CARE IF ANYONE THINKS THIS LIST OF THINGS IS RETARDED SIMPLE

I WILL
() do dynamic stretches
() meditate 10 minutes
() eat breakfast

IF I CAN'T EVEN DO THIS, THEN THE NEXT DAY WILL BE EVEN SIMPLER
IF I CAN DO THIS, THEN I WILL MAKE THE NEXT DAY INCREMENTALLY MORE CHALLENGING
Click to expand...
I WON'T BE ASHAMED TO CELEBRATE EVEN IF IT'S ONLY ONE WEEK.

I AM CELEBRATING EVERYDAY. OF COURSE I WILL CELEBRATE ONE WEEK.

as a result of doing these todo lists for the past week, i haven't had a single moment where i randomly burst out of the house and rant to the camera and then angry journal.

it's because i'm just trusting that results don't happen in a day, and so long as you do the actions you set out for the day, and everyday, you will see the success compound

even the unstructured part of my day (which is pretty much the rest of the day after like 11am because my todo lists are still pretty short) is more productive.

for example, earlier i would only watch "waste" youtube and browse the internet mindlessly.

sometimes i would run into somewhat difficult japanese youtube videos.

but i would put them off because i was like "oh wait well i have to finish x y z still. let's finish that".

but i couldn't concentrate on the actual "x y z" tasks and i was too neurotic to start.

that resulted in me not only not getting "x y z" done, but not even getting more focused japanese listening practice in, which i really should be doing more of!!!

however on the other hand, over the past week when this same situation comes up, i can focus into the slightly complex japanese videos. and 90%+ of my youtube history lately is now japanese.

it's because i'm not "putting off things" anymore. my entire existence up until last week was living upon a precarious stack of "things i need to get done that i haven't started or finished"

i'm just making a todo list, and then getting the items done.

and i'm able to do these items now because i'm just incrementally building it up and trying to keep the list consistent. earlier i would fail because i would say "ok tomorrow im going to do 7 new things that i haven't done before" and do like 2 or 3 of them.

and then even if i had some sort of "accountability" for it, i would get used to reporting that i didn't do like half the list and use my genius brain to rationalize it

the meditation certainly helps too with focus lol
 
TOMORROW I WILL BE A SUCCESS

() no computer or phone after this lol
() wake up at 6:30am
() meditate 10 min
() eat breakfast
() dynamic stretching
() RUN!!! to the gym
() gym chest day
() hyperbolic stretching - side splits
() take shower immediately after
() go outside somewhere other than the nearby convenience store or gym train station
() 150g protein

ok except for the one day i went to go buy a humidifier, i've been pretty much entirely staying inside for the whole day

colgate said:
the number of hot girls is just...there's too damn many

i thought about what the version of me from any time before february 2022 came here would be doing

i thought about the weird mild-agoraphobia i kinda ended up inducing myself into

i thought about how fucking @Mimbe393939 is going to show up here in july with his dumbass japanese (ok he's def gonna be conversational lol) and how he's going to be rocket approaching all of these girls the day he lands. and how he's definitely going to be fucking like 3 of them a week.

there's no fucking way im going to be like this soon. i'm changing things
Click to expand...

i'm literally in fucking japan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"my room" is "my room" regardless of what country it's in. and i end up doing the same thing regardless of if it's in america or japan.

i've been on the fucking computer since i was 4 years old. that's my native land. and any time i faced hard times in real life, i had the computer world there for me. so i got sucked in even more and more. now it's just unconscious habit. i know how to "never be bored or in pain" because i can just be on the fucking computer and it goes away.

lol except it doesn't.

it's crazy how much childhood conditioning compounds to the rest of your life

but now it's time to recondition.

i'm going to add as an item on my todo list to go outside somewhere new. the whole deal, dress up and go explore.

i'm literally in fucking japan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
❌ no computer or phone after this lol

i ended up browsing shit until like past midnight, and then i had trouble refocusing. finally i did a regular meditation and then tried to do short burst meditations again, only to find i was still wide awake. determined to actually fall asleep, i scrambled through a bunch of "how to fall asleep" now youtube videos, and actually found one that worked???

i think just saying "no computer or phone" doesn't help because it's just relying on my pure willpower to not do something instead of saying what i should be doing. tonight i'm going to just say "meditate for 10 mins at 9:30pm" to refocus my mind onto sleep






additionally i woke up like 2 or 3 times with a weird stiff neck/trap injury that i actually got back in september. maybe i was sleeping weird or something, who knows. but it was the same one i got here.

basically if i turn my head left, my right trap/neck area hurts. there's slight pain turning right too but it's not as bad.

i tried to meditate earlier but the pain was too annoying and i gave up after like 5 minutes. additionally, i couldn't focus on eating.

still, i was like "but i want to go to the gym and do x y z a b c". but instead i spent like an hour googling various things about neck pain, but none of them seemed relevant to my case???

i thought the fact that i can't even focus on my food or normal meditating is a sign that i should probably rest.

i put an ice pack on it for 5-10 mins and then i was able to get through 8 minutes of meditating.

i had planned rest days on saturday and sunday too, so i'm hoping resting for an additional day will help. i can just do chest day on monday instead.

by the way, this isn't related to the shoulder injury i had last month. that was on my left side and on the shoulder cap area, and is doing fine now. this one is on the right side around my neck/trap area.

i'm going to spend the day researching this and seeing what can be done


QUESTION FOR EVERYONE:
what am i supposed to study to actually be able to accurately tell what hurts and how i can diagnose it? is it anatomy? physical therapy? i want to be able to say "my medial lateral trapezius domino muscle" or whatever the fuck hurts (lmao).

given that i had another injury last month and the fact that i want to GET JACKED!!!!!!!!!!!! which i think includes being able to "fix my body" (or at least know what's happening), this just seems like a huge oversight for me

i also like the increased awareness i had about my body when i initially got into lifting. before i did any lifting i didnt know what the difference between the bicep and the tricep was and i didnt even know there was a quadricep! nor that people had back muscles. now i know most of the main muscle groups and etc at a high level, but i want to know more, specifically useful for "care" and injury avoidance/treatment

at least being able to name the specific thing that has pain will make internet searching much more useful.
 
colgate said:
what am i supposed to study to actually be able to accurately tell what hurts and how i can diagnose it? is it anatomy? physical therapy?
Click to expand...

The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook: Your Self-Treatment Guide for Pain Relief: https://www.amazon.com/Trigger-Point-Therapy-Workbook-Self-Treatment/dp/1608824942

This book will show you every muscle, where your pain is occurring, where it radiates to other parts of your body, why you have pain there, and most importantly, how to fix it your god damn self.

I've used this book dozens of times for pain from weightlifting, sleeping wrong, poor posture or whatever and usually get rid of the pain in a few days, sometimes a couple weeks depending on the trigger point causing the pain.

One of the best $15 I've ever spent on a book.
 
Bman

thanks for the book! i found a copy online and found the relevant sections for my problem

i ended up taking a nap first and then i checked it out. the pain wasn't as bad after my nap

View attachment 3
this is the exact spot where the pain is, and it specifically hurts when i turn my neck left (i flipped the image so this is accurate)

according to the book, this is the "levator scapulae"
View attachment 2

i wrote out the procedures for these trigger points in this note so it's easier to read
https://bulldog-pen.notion.site/neck-rotation-issues-d6f9c8bf34434c0a9fede2335fef620f


i had this lying around for uhhh...reasons and figured this would be a good thing to use a "hook-tool" (sans power!)
View attachment 1


i also watched a bunch of videos like this one because i had no idea if i was even doing this correctly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTRf6grdoSc

i still don't really know if i did anything tbh. as i kept randomly pressing points and moving my neck around randomly to test, pain would wane in and out. but it certainly wasn't as bad as this morning.

i think i was just tired so my ability to handle pain might have been less? it was like a 4-5/10 in the morning. after the morning nap maybe a 3. and now it's more like a 1-2.

the book says




on that note, these are the things i ended up doing today
✅ woke up at 6:30
✅ meditated 10 min
✅ ate breakfast
✅ go outside!!!!


i'm in fucking japan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i basically went to the station near my house, got on the train, and then got off at a random stop.

walked around and then got high from the 山椒 peppers from some sichuan food.

guys i have ended racism, an indian guy from america goes to japan to eat chinese food





i'll update with tomorrow's plan later, i'm waiting for my friend to confirm if he's free to meet tomorrow so i can decide what i need to do for the day
 
TOMORROW I WILL BE A SUCCESS
() meditate RIGHT NOW and then turn on asmr sleeping vid
() wake up 6:30am
() meditate 10 mins
() eat breakfast
() dynamic stretching
() () () trigger points massage 3x
() hyperbolic stretching - side splits
() read one article or watch (actually fully comprehend) one video from http://cknanpa.com/
() 150g protein

today was slightly derailed by my random pain, but i think it should be ok? just going to do the trigger points massage and rest tomorrow again.

i'm going to meet a friend tomorrow night, another one on sunday, and another one on monday. so i'll be getting my fill of "going out" for the next 3 days.
 
That’s a very common area to get tightness and pain.

On YouTube look up “lacrosse ball neck massage” videos—you have to get something solid and really jam it in there since the knots in that area can be deep in the tissue.
 
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