tdan187 said:
Squilliam said:
Denying the blackpill is denying reality. Yeah it's unproductive to ruminate on but I agree with Crisis. Being a white guy in America is far easier than the situation that Thrice is in. He's an arab living in Italy I think he said?
I think it's easy to take for granted the racial advantage. Dating might not be easy for anybody, but being non-white makes it even harder. Racism is a pretty pervasive thing in modern society believe it or not, even if it's not always super overt.
Race plays into looks and overall SMV, and how women will perceive you. Being white makes things a lot easier, that's just a fact. At least in western countries.
It just doesn't matter though.
At the end of the day, all that matters is what helps you, not someone else, get what you want.
Is it unfair? Definitely. How does it help though?
You gotta start believing in you, not in some other dude who is better and has it easier in whatever X way. You aren't them. You are you.
That's how you start to think when you are playing to win. If you want it bad, then find a way. Doesn't matter if it's harder for you or not. You gotta find a way.
Really good post.
And thank you for the kind words above, bro, I really appreciate it.
Ultimately, this is the attitude - regardless of difficulty, challenges, or disadvantages, just do whatever it takes to get success.
Dates, pulls, lays, for me are annoyingly difficult. That's an archetype thing. There are SOME women out there who would feel attraction for men like me. I'm not going to say it's a lot, it's not at all. But they ARE out there. The way I see it, it's my job to find them, and to explore whatever can be explored between us.
Nuance is really important and its why King Crisis highlighted this.
We're NOT shitting on you dude, OK? That is never going to happen. You know me, and you know I would never treat a brother of the community in that way.
What we're saying is, the path for some males, is quite complicated, multifaceted, and may be a multi-year process of us working with that person and trying different things. We are willing to make the commitment and we will back these men, 100%. But, it isn't as simple as, just back yourself and keep talking to girls. It isn't as simple as "of course you can bang attractive girls bro just go for it bro".
Whilst the winners mindset is MISSION CRITICAL.........
THE WINNERS MINDSET IS A ROADMAP
FOR SOME, THAT ROADMAP IS A PLEASANT DRIVE DOWN THE ROAD
FOR OTHERS, IT IS TRAVERSING FUCKING MORDOR
That is where we can take issue with it. Because even with the winners mindset, some guys will have to go deeper into themselves, require a lot of compassion and kindness, and really manage their expectations.
Some guys have to max themselves out. For some, just getting in shape won't cut it. It didn't for me. These guys will have to objective measures of an excellent body.
Some guys will have to restructure their life and move. I had to. In most parts of England, my nation, I am not really what a woman would desire. And I completely respect it. That's their choice. I will get my biz right, get on a plane, and move. Their loss. I will still be a great man for the right woman one day.
Some guys will need to learn game, fix their vibe, and learn to become a far more attractive personalities. I had to. All but 1 of my lays required straight-up game, and had I know been taught this (Rags2Bitches, Pancakemouse, The Dom mentored me here) I'd have never gotten the experiences I needed. They were all on a knife edge and did require me to play some great moves and really make the stars align. It was fucking annoyingly hard.
And then, there is the majority of the forum, 95% of guys.
There are many men who are at a sufficient level of SMV that they don't have to go down the route of the warrior, extreme grinding and basically the absolute rewriting of the soul and psyche. Very few would have survived my journey so far, very few.
There are MAJOR signs you're not low SMV. If you can get attraction from a chick - you're not low SMV. The SMP is not going to be a challenge for you, you can get laid, not necessarily much of grind at all tbh. If your matches are attractive, if they're receptive, if you can sleep with "hot" girls, you just aren't a low SMV person. You certainly may FEEL that way, have very significant challenges of the mind, and of your beliefs, and past trauma, sure. But the market decides, and it has already decided in your favour. The dating game isn't inherently against you, rather, it is rigged for you to win. End of story.
Low SMV guys can be ked astray because so few have understanding of the deep truths of hardcase, low SMV transformation, which is truly a process of burning everything about a person down to ash, and forging something again, but this time, out of raw steel.
It isn't necessarily useful advice to say to someone, man, it's all in your head, you can fuck hot girls - no homie, that isn't necessarily as cut and dry as that. A guy can grind away, really hard, for a year plus and not even get a sniff of that. And then he is going to fucking self-destruct. Giving people unrealistic expectations is a recipe to destroy that person.
Rather, we build them up over time IMO.
Embedding the winners mindset is mission critical, as I said, and equally:
JUST getting dates with any type of chick is a MAJOR win.
JUST getting a lay, MAJOR WIN.
These guys need to heal and normalise, and recover from their shitstorm life.
Getting traction for the lower SMV male is not a simple process, and it takes world-class resilience and sheer hustler spirit.
90% of my interactions with ladies in clubs, just normal looking chicks, are over within 1 second. Hard deflection. Cold approach is actually better than that for me, but is a true skill and fine art, that I am improving at, but is still very telling....1000+ approaches last year, nothing. If you look at how many dates of mine pull, and how many lay, it's 1 in 10. It took 100+ dates in 2022 to get 9 lays. And this was still worth it BY FAR. It was fucking AWESOME and I loved it.
Many of us tried and tested the conventional wisdom to insane lengths. This is not a time for theory, we have the data, and we have established this at this point.
Again, I say that with love, because I am here to serve, share, and facilitate growth.
Take home point:
Certain guys just need to be eased into the SMP, developed, nurtured, and allowed to bloom over time. It is not useful to tell these guys they can get hotties. Sure, they have a shot, we all do. But likelihood is, they will need to spend quite some time levelling up and grinding hard in self improvement...
Approach after approach.
Date after date.
Gym session after gym session, with perfect diet, in bed at 1030pm latest, just building a fucking stud body.
Levelling up and becoming more successful.
Photoshoot after photoshoot, nailing a great profile.
All of this shit has to converge for some guys, it is a fucking ass buster, and it also takes TIME. This takes FAITH. I have to just gut up, work my ass off, and just pray my future improves. All the while, I get shit shovelled in my face consistently, dating is legit grim and like pulling teeth, the effort level is just fucked. And that's the game for me here, at my level. I have to just brainwash myself into believing if I get jacked, and hit certain measurements in my bodyparts, I CAN find someone who will be worthwhile. This situation takes extreme mental toughness because terrain is fricken hostile.
Wanna know how I survive it?
I am surrounded by my boys, who know the SMP deeply, who are constantly affirming me, backing me, believing in me, and just brainwashing me into success by telling me, dude if you keep working hard and stick at it, it WILL pay off. So I wake up, understand the mission, and bust my damn ass EVERY DAY, and am prepared to for as many years as it takes, and whatever the fuck I have to do.
Coaching these guys through this specific experience is a fine art, and requires patience, persistence, and just listening to them and supporting them.
We can facilitate a space for them and we CAN get them over the line. And we can respectfully agree to disagree, its cool man, its not a big thing, we can just share and listen to each other, and respect it. We're still friends regardless of any views, OK?
Mohamad can make it. He will have to put in some work, though, and that's fine. Everything good in life requires it.
MAC