Trèfle's progress log - Mediocre dating streak after 11 lays

Starting to feel like my retention issues might be mostly out of my control after all this far. That hot military chick told me she'd rather not meet again because sexuality just isn't something casual for her, not surprised at all she told me during the date that she's a very romantic/traditional girl so the fuckbuddies hopes were very small. I don't feel sad, that's still a great memory her butt was magical. I really have started to accept ONS as something positive too. If anything I wonder how I managed to have sex with her on the first date considering her viewpoints on sex and the fact she's out of my league looks wise right now. Glad I did though. I do wanna experiment with not inviting some chicks home on the first date to see if that makes them stick longer though

I'll meet that lay from the week before on Monday again, should be fun. She ain't single so probably not the most ideal girl to retain but she's very interested in trying a lot of the things I have on my bucket list, could be a valuable experience
 
Alright time to get serious again, I feel that week of relaxation was enough to reward myself for the 10 lays - time to start another big goal. I seem to be around 66.5 kgs right now, so the next milestone is 60 kilos. I'll give myself 9 weeks to be generous, prepare in case of bad days

So, new main goal: sub 60 kilos, deadline: 8th of April
 
My dating life sure is weird. Tried to set up yet another date with the girl in couple, figured she's my best way to gain as much sexual experience as possible right now while trying to get back on Tinder (love her body, very slim with big breasts) and then she hit me with that "I don't think I'm in the kind of mood where I like guys right now (she told me from the get-go she does prefer girls a lot) but if you find a girl for a threesome I'm down"

Got one piece of the typical threesome dream at least, will I find the other half I wonder. Despite sleeping with 11 women already I really haven't had much chances to explore my bucket list yet
 
Trèfle said:
"I don't think I'm in the kind of mood where I like guys right now (she told me from the get-go she does prefer girls a lot) but if you find a girl for a threesome I'm down"
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This is not good news for you, and she's just using you to find a girl for her. As a rule, don't date with girls who have any kind of "requirement" to date them. Dating you should be an end in and of itself, not a means to something else.

Even if you do somehow find a girl for a threesome, I guarantee you won't have a good time. I actually think that message of hers is very disrespectful but maybe that's a personal thing.
 
Holden said:
Trèfle said:
"I don't think I'm in the kind of mood where I like guys right now (she told me from the get-go she does prefer girls a lot) but if you find a girl for a threesome I'm down"
Click to expand...
This is not good news for you, and she's just using you to find a girl for her. As a rule, don't date with girls who have any kind of "requirement" to date them. Dating you should be an end in and of itself, not a means to something else.

Even if you do somehow find a girl for a threesome, I guarantee you won't have a good time. I actually think that message of hers is very disrespectful but maybe that's a personal thing.
Click to expand...

Eh it's kind of a weird girl to begin with really, considering she's cheating on her boyfriend I don't have any expectations at all - just trying to get as much bedroom experience as possible esp while the Tinder ban issue isn't solved (shouldn't take too much longer)

No real care about retaining or whatever in that case really but you're definitely right that she's definitely using me to get more girls. But oh well I wouldn't mind checking the threesome check on my list so I do think it's worth a try
 
Shame about the gym right now, was getting consistent again after struggling for a bit since starting work again but I injured my wrist pretty badly 8 days ago, still can barely lift it up so yeah weights aren't on right now. Managed to switch to a one handed backhand for the time being to still play tennis but don't have this kind of options to keep lifting. I still run instead of lifting so the calorie burning is fine but hope it heals soon, really want to get back for good
 
Just some random completely unrelated thoughts but lately I've been wondering if I'm a worse person than I thought. I'm not terrible but I'm certainly not as good as what I thought a few months ago - realizing I had no guilt at all about fucking that girl who cheats on her boyfriend twice made me think a bit on the subject. I started seeing a free therapist and told her about it and she said "you're not the one cheating" which I guess is true but idk, it's the fact that I have 0 second thought or remorse about this stuff that made me think a bit

It's the same for my retention issues I guess. I used to think I was just getting attached to every girl I fucked but this really was never the case. The main issue is that I kept thinking girls never wanted to see me again because they had regrets about fucking me, because I look too bad naked, because of not being good enough in the bedroom (I don't think it's the latter one because I pretty much always make them cum and try to improve my skills each time but who knows). Point is, I don't think I ever cared particularly about any specific girl since I've only slept with ones I've been attracted to so far but they've always been, idk, interchangeable to me thus far? Like I've been wanting to retain a little better just to get more sexual experience and not because I care particularly about any of the 11 women I've slept with those last few months, I'm extremely focused on raw numbers. Been thinking I may have an AI side to my personality, some of it does feel robotic

Just some random thoughts I've been having lately. I'm actually in a really good spot mentally, been having much more passion for my hobbies, I just kinda feel happy and very optimistic (with 15 kilos to lose, a wrist injury and a Tinder ban, what will it be once all of that will go away?), it's great. I don't think realizing I'm not an amazing person is a bad thing, it's not like I'm the worst human being either; I treat women with respect, I'm very loyal to my friends and all that. I think I'm starting to realize I care more about getting what I want than being a saint is all

I should post more about my inner thoughts, feel like my log's been too much about "actions" only lately. Even my lay reports kinda suck, when I see the other ones on the forums I feel inspired to put more passion into these now
 
I don't particularly post about dates that don't end in sex usually but tonight's was so good. Stunning girl, so much more attractive than me it's a little bit confusing why she'd be attracted to me but the date was great, great convo, she didn't want to go all the way on the first date but spent so long making out in my bedroom and then in front of her car. I was so focused on my lay count these past few months I've neglected how fun dating can be. Even if my penis didn't go inside her tonight it's so secondary after all, tonight's the kind of night where I realize that I do like women after all, genuinely

No clue why I have this kind of girls who are so much above me in looks being into me though. I've never fucked a girl who wasn't attractive but like that one was easily a 8 at the very least. Heck so far this year I've slept with more than 50% of my dates, and like I can hardly consider a date like tonight with so much making out a failure just because I didn't have sex either. I finally understand why I've struggled so much with dieting lately: when I was lonely it was easy to motivate myself by thinking I'd get laid once I was lean (even if it wasn't happening because I wasn't talking to women). But now that I realize I can somehow get quite a lot of action as an overweight dwarf with no money, it is a bit harder to focus. Don't get me wrong I know the reasons to be in shape and that's an important goal but I think it's important to realize why I've been struggling so much with that. Up to me to create reasons other than chicks to become attractive; I really want to become a better tennis player for exemple, win more in tournaments and being lean will help for sure. And like, even if I somehow keep making out or sleeping with girls I never thought I'd meet while looking like this I'll obviously always have better results with a better physique

I just feel good right now, want to post about it. Not every area of life is great yet but I do feel like everything's going to be great, that I have what it takes to accomplish whatever I want. It's also my birthday, that year of life is starting quite well. Still don't have Tinder but should be fine soon
 
Feel like I'm truly starting to understand the right philosophy about dating in my core (about time after all these dates I guess). 2 hours after yesterday's date ended I gave her the typical "was a good time, would be happy to meet you again. Have a good night" text, good way to know if I'll see them again or not usually. But man that answer was a first for sure. "I had a great time too, I didn't feel anything beyond friendship for you but we can meet again if you want". Friendzoned 2 hours after tongue kissing a very attractive woman like 150 times in my bedroom, the elevator, in front of her car and playing with her breasts and pussy on my bed, that must be a world record

Can't say I didn't feel anything because she's so hot and I genuinely had a great date but I think it's the healthy kind of disappointment, like the "meet more girls" kind, not the broken despair from a few months back. Good motivation to get hotter too, definitely wouldn't be getting this if I was decently attractive I feel like. Would be less likely at least
 
Had a much tougher time than planned forgetting that chick from last Saturday after all. She was really really beautiful, despite the experience I got with that double digit lay count I was very surprised when we were making out in my bedroom because I figured she was so much out of my league. Wasn't depressed or anything, just thought a lot about her. Got pretty salty when I realized there's a solid chance she was asking if we could be more like FWB in that "friendship but let's meet again" text, she was pretty clearly analyzing me as a boyfriend, asking me if I was planning to get a driver license while I was feeling her pussy in my bedroom and then taking a break mid kissing to check the distance between our places on Maps among other things. I really blew that one, reacted so badly to the friendship text it's definitely a dead lead. I still struggle with emotions sometimes, emotions that shouldn't be a part of the lifestyle I aim for, can't get that attached to first dates. Probably will be better with more and more experience, it's already less of a problem than it used to be

Still my last message still apply, I do know the remedy is to meet more girls. Been a while since the ban, I really wanted to maximize my odds so I took time to redo a lot of photos, buy a new phone and all during the limited free time. Got done with it today, tested the photos on Photofeeler and the attractiveness scores are always high so should be good to go, will be back on Tinder tomorrow morning. Let's see how long it'll take until the 12th lay. This whole ordeal was a good reminder to keep working on my photos consistently to have some on the side for this kind of situation, didn't work on those for months before. Valuable lesson
 
Eh, things aren't going that well on the dating side right now. Finally managed to get back on Tinder on Friday but phew things are not great, barely getting matches at all even on the weekend. I get things aren't always linear at all in this area but going from 300 matches to almost nothing on a weekend does feel real bad. It does make sense though, I sure gained a lot of weight since those photos from October or so.

Still got 2 dates with attractive chicks but eh. I performed laughably terribly on Saturday's, did so bad she laughed it off when I invited her back to my place, no vibe at all I was completely out of it. Also made me notice Sat nights dates kinda blow, there's really too many people in my bar I can't sit close to the girls. I blamed it on rustiness for not going on a date for a whole week but that was terrible. She was cute and 31, made me notice I don't do that well with the chicks in their 30s, some things to learn about how to be with them. Not that I was going to get laid with the typical uni girl with a performance like this either - didn't bother me too much but it was disappointing

Today's date was a bit more painful. 21 yo dancer, really pretty and the vibe of the date was great, the convo was interesting, had the right amount of touching and making her talk about what makes her passionate in life, sex/love talk, like it was one of those dates that usually end in sex or at least foreplay in my experience thus far. Yet when I invited her home she didn't think twice, "nah I'll go back home", resolved to kiss more of the girls who refuse to go upstairs but I saw no reason there considering how she pretty much left immediately when I invited her. Super disappointing considering how well the date was going, I thought I was getting good at knowing when things are going well with this amount of experience but guess not always. Worst part is that my brain only tells me one thing in this kind of situation (thought the same with that very beautiful chick on my birthday) : "everything was well except for your look they're just not attracted to you" (although I can't consider a date where I play with her pussy at the same level as a "I'll go home" one). Which frankly probably have a lot of truth, but it doesn't feel very good to feel repulsive. Had a pretty bad eating spree tonight (things are going up on the diet side for sure, way more cardio too, but not perfect yet)

Everything else is going well, enjoying my hobbies, diet improving, lots of cardio, ok mental health. Not successful at all on the dating side though. I was able to have sex with 11 different attractive women already so I know there'll be a 12th one obviously but it is a bit hard on the moral, I just gotta have more positive dieting days than negative ones and I'll be somewhat attractive again that's all there is to it. Just gotta endure the feeling of "rejected purely because you look like shit" in the meantime, learn to turn it into more of a motivation than a source of sadness
 
Just want to say today, I got an... Interesting? Information about why my new Tinder is doing so badly compared to the previous one (aside from the weight, will buy more fitted clothes and take new photos this weekend)

So yesterday night there was this hot match who straight up opened me with "frankly I thought you were gay but you have a very nice face you're extremely cute" and that got me thinking. Wonder if it's because I only got one earring left ? Months ago I lost one and was too lazy to get another so the hole closed, probably a good idea to re-do it now. "Lose fat and look straight" on the checklist
 
Girls who randomly decide not to answer the day of the date truly are the worst, happened today. Had 2 girls in a row who had to postpone a date to next week too, just a very poor dating period of time

Will update my diet success everyday in March for consistency sake, really struggled with willpower in this area this month; no progress, looks are very poor. Writing it down will help (today was good in the fat loss area, 2 good meals and 1 hour and a half of tennis)
 
1/03 :

Diet : 2 good meals. Dinner was a bit heavy but still a deficit, can do better tomorrow

Exercise: not much. Got a early train tomorrow so not sure I'll have time for a run, will be on my feet all day long anyway
 
2/03 :

Diet : 2 good meals at a deficit

Exercise: walked all day long, will do a run tomorrow

I had the world's weirdest date. Like really really weird. I was meeting this blonde beauty at noon in a nearby city and her looks didn't disappoint but er... She was drunk, like really drunk. Kept drinking throughout the date too. She made it clear early in the date she had no intention of fucking me too, I'm really not fuckable right now. But, well, she insisted that she really likes me and wants us to be friends and go sightseeing so I followed along since I was here and didn't know the place anyway and things were even more confusing. She showed me castles, museums, kebabs at times walking handholding, at times kissing me in the neck or on the mouth that was weeeiiird. Spent like 6 hours together like this before I had to grab my driver to get home after one last kissing session. Can't say that was unenjoyable even if she definitely wasn't into me sexually but that was... Weird
 
You’re hitting a slump.

You know where the issues could be with your slump, right?

Personally, I would’ve called her on her drunkenness. Is she lacking companionship or is she hitting the wall or what? This is analogous to this to my former marriage. 27 years and she makes unilateral decisions, using her brothers for support and expects me to play along. Um, no.

It’s like when a date brings along another girl to eat at your expense. I wouldn’t stick around until I knew what the deal was and everything was out in the open. If I have a colleague or supervisor acting like a PIA and I don’t know her from any hole, I could lose my job but I am most definitely either getting HR involved or their permission to bring whatever issue out in the open.

I wouldn’t call it keeping frame. Id call it having self - respect. Did you just go on a date and spend 6 hours doing stuff you didn’t want to? Idk.

Consider this a perspective. I don’t know what I would’ve done honestly. I would’ve probably started dancing right then and pretended to be in the bedroom until she dipped. This is inner game stuff. Working on myself to prep for the next date.

Now, these are thoughts. I’m also a work in progress. As Andy mentioned being honest with girls is important but being honest with yourself is even more so the case.

You got this.
 
Wnyhg said:
You’re hitting a slump.

You know where the issues could be with your slump, right?

Personally, I would’ve called her on her drunkenness. Is she lacking companionship or is she hitting the wall or what? This is analogous to this to my former marriage. 27 years and she makes unilateral decisions, using her brothers for support and expects me to play along. Um, no.

It’s like when a date brings along another girl to eat at your expense. I wouldn’t stick around until I knew what the deal was and everything was out in the open. If I have a colleague or supervisor acting like a PIA and I don’t know her from any hole, I could lose my job but I am most definitely either getting HR involved or their permission to bring whatever issue out in the open.

I wouldn’t call it keeping frame. Id call it having self - respect. Did you just go on a date and spend 6 hours doing stuff you didn’t want to? Idk.

Consider this a perspective. I don’t know what I would’ve done honestly. I would’ve probably started dancing right then and pretended to be in the bedroom until she dipped. This is inner game stuff. Working on myself to prep for the next date.

Now, these are thoughts. I’m also a work in progress. As Andy mentioned being honest with girls is important but being honest with yourself is even more so the case.

You got this.
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I think all my struggles with women (am I really allowed to say that ? I'm well aware I slept with more attractive women in those last few months than a ton of guys despite a lot of issues) are looks related right now really, I genuinely think I strike a good balance between agressive and comforting - I'm just not anywhere near attractive since gaining all that fat, it's almost a death sentence with this kind of height (I always thought I was 1m68/5"5 but those new elevator shoes made me realize I'm def less than that, never taller than a single girl). I know people have said I only got laid so far because of genetics but I do feel real pride, I think a lot of guys this height would never try to build this kind of sexual life. Obviously I'm unattractive right now but I know it can change, just gotta be really consistent again to defeat those food addictions for good. Getting laid or making out with women who are so much above your own current looks does feel good but I know it's a looks game, won't achieve much consistently looking like this. I do expect to get laid again soon

Today was weird. Most days I would have turned down her invite for sightseeing but I was in this city I didn't know and my ride home wasn't coming for 6 hours so I did it for my own enjoyment first, the alternative was just spending the afternoon alone and bored. Like, her turning me down fast didn't stop me from enjoying discovering new stuff with a beautiful woman randomly making out with me in the street, that was a lot of fun. Not sure why she drinks so much but she told me she always does anyway and was partying all night before so I see no reason to investigate, her business. I didn't feel good about dropping her in front of her car though, suggested that she doesn't drive or call a friend but doubt she listened. Aside for that last point I did have a lot of fun today, I just need better looks to actually sleep with this kind of girls is the only conclusion I could make
 
Ended up getting a "yesterday was amazing, I'd be very happy to keep in touch" text from yesterday's girl, heartwarming. Things feel like they're changing when it comes to 2nd dates - before it used to be like "whether I fuck them or not, I never see them past the 1st date anyway" but the % who genuinely want to see me again has been pretty high recently. Obviously it's not the greatest lay timeframe but like that lay in early February told me she wasn't interested in casual sex past the first date but she wasn't uninterested in meeting again, that girl I kissed for so long w some foreplay on my bed like 3 weeks ago told me she "sees me as a friend but we can keep meeting if I want", now this chick who tells me upfront early in the date on my pull attempt that she's not interested sexually but still spends hours making out all over the city and really wants us to do it again

I do think it may be a good thing. Like, these chicks are much more attractive than I am at the moment, these are beautiful women. I've been a little perplexed by the sudden appearance of friendzoning in my sex life considering how agressive i play my dates, lots of touching and I always try to pull and stick to game plans but it does make sense - they like me enough for making out and fondling but don't want to fuck me because of me not being hot right now. It's a good reason to improve that, I think my retention will finally be existent once I sort out the physique to be at least fuckable. In the meantime, I won't do the same mistake as the last 2 girls who wanted to keep seeing me but me politely refusing because I assumed it would be worthless if they weren't going to sleep with me. Definitely going to accept to meet that girl again, she's very hot and made me discover furiously making out in the Zara waiting line and in a museum can be a lot of fun. Fun and pleasure really are way more important to me than a lay count after all, whether I fuck this kind of chick or not doesn't feel that important if the dates are this enjoyable
 
3/03

Diet : 2 good meals (bit of a heavy lunch but still a deficit)

Exercise: 5km run
 
4/04

Diet : so-so, ate around maintenance. Not the worst not the best

Exercise: 5km run
 
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