JUNE 28th DAY 54(of 90)
THE OTHER DAY I FELT LIKE A CREEP.
It was another day of walking around aimlessly in a grocery store (Target) working up the nerve to go approach some girls. I saw at least 3 good opportunities which I completely whiffed on. As soon as I walked in the store there was a girl at checkout who looked really cute, then two others who --when I worked up the courage to finally talk to- they literally disappeared from sight.
Example: Saw a cute girl in an aisle, I walked past her, said "Excuse me" and went into the next aisle, built up the courage, then walked over to her aisle. She was gone. Checked the others, nowhere to be found.
I felt like a creep, because I was lingering in the store too long without buying anything which is what I used to do when I first started the approach anxiety drills.
I spoke to an employee to warm up, then to some woman about reading books. I didn't approach anyone with dating intent. Lastly, after leaving the store, I complemented a girl on her Rick and Morty shirt.
She said thanks and smiled.
I considered the day a 10/10 because I went out and pushed myself. I always consider it a 10/10 when I make an effort. Better than considering myself a complete loser.
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INSIGHTS:
From this, I figured out that there should be repeatable things I do each time to warm me up and get me prepared to approach and talk to girls. Warming up is something I've heard from PUA guys, thousands of times in the past, but only
now do I feel I can apply that knowledge from experience.
These are a few notes I jotted down in a google doc.
- Baby step everything
- Focus on one sticking point at a time
- I need a set of warm-up practices to get me in the flow of approaching and talking to girls instead of wandering around.
- Untangling negative beliefs
- Installing new beliefs
- Training new habits alone
- Trying them in field
- Warming up
- Train like you would in the gym practicing lines and free word association, getting better on your own and going out to use it with women.
- Repeatable steps
- Approach
- Breathe out for vocal tonality
- "Excuse me"
- Smile
- Acknowledge situation and context
- Compliment: "You look cute today" I like your... *blank*
- She speaks
- Context: "I know this is random, but are you single?"
- Answer
- Conversation + touch on shoulder at high points.
- Phone number on high note.
Train your neurology to instill new habits. Field-test everything.
I need to find activities or something that would be in my wheelhouse, like comic conventions or art events, physical activities something with lots of girls and opportunities.
Now your task is to find strategies to authentically express who you are and strategies for getting what you want. For example, Andy mentioning how to bring up softcore stuff to girls. That's a strategy.
Thanks Bman! Yes, that's exactly what I want to do, I want to express my actual vibe and develop confidence through action.
It's a lot like this guy I've seen online named Castillo, (his catchphrase is "Big Man Ting") he used to be scared of people, esp. women. He'd go on subways and such to try and push himself out of his comfort zone and approach. Now you can barely tell he ever had any social issues. I really resonated with his story.
