Upstart's AA Program Log

Upstart said:

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Remove the sunglasses one entirely. Very, very bad. You look 80.

Your best photo is on campus and even that isn't good because you have a notebook that looks like it costs $3. You're also posing in the same way as the car photo.

The gym photo we can't see your face.

The motorcycle photo you're looking down (sign of submission).

The dog photo it looks like you're just using a dog for a photoshoot.

Sorry to say, these photos aren't that good. I'm surprised you're even getting as many matches as you are. Has nothing to do with being black. Being black is awesome nowadays.

As far as message funnel, you should get 1 date every 25 matches on Tinder.

yooo i see you're in austin. i went on 6 dates and brought back 2 girls in a week from cold approach as a kinda skinny still-virgin when i briefly lived there, you can definitely crush it bro

JUNE 24th DAY 50 (of 90)

I just realized. My dating profile is OPTIMIZED....

...to get fat chicks, older women, and trans women. -_-

And at best, younger chicks looking for a commitment.

I feel like I should take different photos. But I don't even know where to start. A shirtless pic maybe?
I'll just have to watch Austin Dunham and FitxFearless for reference. I don't look anywhere close to their physiques, but they're the only non-white references I have.
---------------------------------------------

4th day without jerkin' it! I can feel my balls getting warmer.

Anyways, I only went out for work today (dishwashing job). I saw the girl I went out on a date with and said "wassup" to her. After work, I planned to go to Target to try some more social activity, but a long urgent phone call with a family member cut that off. Needs help moving on Sunday.

I didn't swipe at all yesterday. Just to collect myself a bit. The Roosh V book mentioned if you go too hard, and get rejected too much you start to dislike women. Which is what is happening. I went through this state 2 yrs ago, so I'm familiar.

I may have written this before, but by the time I finally do get a girl, I'll be so thoroughly disgusted by the difficulty of getting her, I won't even won't even care if she sticks around. I literally walked away from both of my first lays at the first sign of troublemaking.

I feel like I'm losing the mojo of approaching because I haven't done it in over a week. Feel like I need to baby step to get back into it again. But I now have a few rituals I do to improve my vocal tonality, breathing, and facial expressiveness before I go out.

I'm starting to wonder how much my race plays into this game. I was completely unaware of it before now. I feel like I've been applying a "white" solution to a "black" problem.

Are there tactics that will generally work for everyone? Sure.
Are there tactics that will probably never work for me due to factors I can't control? Sure.

There are advantages and disadvantages to every race no doubt, but I'm starting to wonder what will actually work for me & my vibe, and who can I actually attract.

What I currently am is a broke, anime-loving geek, who could honestly care less about this dating game, but needs intimacy on a fundamental level, so I actually care a lot -_- .
I'm kinda strong, have a decent physique. Have a drive to succeed in my art profession, with some tangible results to show for it.

But how do I present this in a package that a woman would want?

Lets look at looks, status, money for example:

Looks: maybe 4-6/10. Visible muscles, ideal frame and size. Underbite. Looks like I could be on the spectrum. -_- (i refuse to actually verify that)
Status: Almost none. Barely any local friends or contacts. Small youtube channel.
Money: Consistently broke. Trying to make it as a comic creator in a historically low market and low paying industry which takes a decade or more to bear fruit. Day job(s) barely pay enough to live on.

I can work around the money thing. I just have to present a better package for online dating. And improve my text game I guess.

This entire process forces me to strip down, face reality, reassess and start again until it works.

pancakemouse said:

Remove the sunglasses one entirely. Very, very bad. You look 80.

Your best photo is on campus and even that isn't good because you have a notebook that looks like it costs $3. You're also posing in the same way as the car photo.

The gym photo we can't see your face.

The motorcycle photo you're looking down (sign of submission).

The dog photo it looks like you're just using a dog for a photoshoot.

Sorry to say, these photos aren't that good. I'm surprised you're even getting as many matches as you are. Has nothing to do with being black. Being black is awesome nowadays.

As far as message funnel, you should get 1 date every 25 matches on Tinder.

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I actually was just using my roommate's dog, and the notebook is $10 not 3!

But that settles it, I'm taking new photos and replacing them over time. I can't afford a professional. But I don't know where to start besides the Tinder guide and the Getlaidin6weeks book.

colgate / bulldog said:

yooo i see you're in austin. i went on 6 dates and brought back 2 girls in a week from cold approach as a kinda skinny still-virgin when i briefly lived there, you can definitely crush it bro

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Preciate that, Colgate! Imma crack this code soon.

Upstart said:

I actually was just using my roommate's dog, and the notebook is $10 not 3!

But that settles it, I'm taking new photos and replacing them over time. I can't afford a professional. But I don't know where to start besides the Tinder guide and the Getlaidin6weeks book.

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JUNE 26th DAY 52 (of 90)

"I need to get laid from the dating apps, so I can have the confidence boost I need to go approach more women and chill tf out."

I finally found the belief at the core of my frustrations. It took me a bit of meditating to find, but now that I'm aware of it, it's like a tight knot has come unwound.

While this belief was running in the background of my mind I put so much pressure on myself to "just get laid" it didn't matter who or how, just so long as it was SOON. I didn't care to get to know the women, I just wanted to get to the date so I could get my foot in the door to an eventual lay.

Everything until then would be boring tedium coupled with increasing pressure to just fuck something already. Which would just make me feel frustrated and desperate.
Since I've seen through the belief, most of the pressure and frustration has dropped, but I still feel some of the residual energy of it. I'm lucky I caught this early.

I don't know when I'll next get laid. But chasing it with that belief at my core keeps it far away.
It could be happen tomorrow, or next week. I don't know. Every once in a while, God will give me a layup and all I gotta do is put it in.

In some way, I'm glad this stuff doesn't come easy. Otherwise, it wouldn't feel worth it.

pancakemouse said:

Tinder Photos & Inspiration – Kill Your Inner Loser

killyourinnerloser.com

https://www.instagram.com/matchgods/ https://www.instagram.com/chrissi_photo_video/ https://photos.passionunchained.com/

Tinder Profile & Setup Archives - Playing With Fire

Enhance and optimize your tinder profile to get more matches.

www.playingfire.com

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Thanks bro. Do you think I should use Photofeeler to get my pics rated?

Upstart said:

Thanks bro. Do you think I should use Photofeeler to get my pics rated?

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No, you should use Winner Within to get your pics rated.

JUNE 27th DAY 53 (of 90)

The Answer is in the PAST.​

WOW. I just looked back at my old logs to check something.

I DID NOT GET PUSSY UNTIL AUGUST 19th, exactly 3 months after I started on the forum.
I knew I was having a lot of the same complaints as last time, but I had to make sure. I'm so glad I kept writing stuff down. This learning curve is crazy, but at least I don't have to repeat it verbatim. I can now temper my expectations.

(I'll post about my experience going out today later.)

​

TRUTH BOMBS TODAY:​

I just realized something:
A large part of my impatience comes from my anger at my friend for breaking our friendship.

Not only did I want to get a girl to replace him (and SOON), but I wanted to get a girl before he did so I could bring her back to my place and rub it in his face. Simply to get revenge and to feed my own ego.

So many of my thoughts were unconsciously oriented in reaction to him. Avoiding him, thinking negatively about him, being better than him. We've already talked things out and only now do feel like letting it go. Because I'm finally aware of the thought-loop.

I've also used a lot of RP ideology, videos, and shocking stories to mentally distance myself from women. So if they're bad to me or reject me, I don't have to feel bad about mocking them. It is simply a non-compatibility issue. And I've been using the thought, "I'll chill out when I finally get laid again" to avoid my own mental hangups.

I'm re-listening to Models by Mark Manson and it's causing me reevaluate myself, and think a lot about who I am at my core and what I actually care about.
I'm going to attempt to list as much as I can here for posterity

WHO AM I AUTHENTICALLY?​

• Authentically, I am someone who genuinely wants to push myself as a man. This has been the one throughline in all my life experiences which never changes. I genuinely want to see just how good life can get. And I know there are certain things i need to do to achieve this.

• I genuinely DON'T want to go out and approach women, but my desire to fully actualize myself completely overrides social hesitation. My sexual desires have pushed me far beyond who I was and who I thought I could be. I will push even further out of my comfort zone if it means achieving something I've never seen or done before. It's like unlocking a new map or level in a game to me.

• Things I think a genuinely think are fun: competitive video games like Smash Bros or shooters (like COD or Uncharted Multiplayer, or Metal Gear Online), walks in new areas, hikes, skating, riding my motorcycle, or table tennis. Naturally, I just want to play games all day and be alone, but if I were to stop interacting with people to do that, the resulting depression and lethargy would just push me back to this path again. I can enjoy video games after I've actualized a good chunk of my potential.

• I am genuinely fascinated by "toxic" male influencers like Myron Gaines, Andrew Tate and Jon Zherka because they possess very unfiltered, polarizing traits I wish I had. Growing up, I was very withdrawn and introverted and never had many friends because of it. So these personalities naturally draw my interest.

• I also still look up to anime characters for similar reasons. Characters like, Naruto, Kamina from Gurren Lagann, Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin, Gintoki from Gintama, Luffy from One Piece, or Gon and Killua from Hunter x Hunter and Goku from DBZ. For their creativity ingenuity and unbridled masculinity. To me, that means their unwavering will to succeed and to never give up.

• I obsess over my own masculinity A LOT. "Am I strong enough, can I fight off danger? Am I being too passive? Am I expressing myself clearly, am I actually doing my best?" etc.

• Sexually, I love softcore stuff. Voyeurism vids, ENF, upskirts, spanking, girls flashing in public. Most things you would see in anime fanservice is probably something I like IRL. I even talked about this with Andy on our call recently and he was able to help me find ways to introduce the idea to girls I'm seeing.

• On the other hand, I'm and actually annoyed by the constant softcore porn on tiktok and youtube youtube in the form of girls showing off in the gym or dancing around half naked. I make sure not to click on those and if I do, I erase the history, otherwise the algorithm will spam me. I'm only annoyed because they're obvious thirst traps and I want my thirst quenched in real life. I'm dying here!

• I'm genuinely not looking for a relationship right now. My goal is ethical non-monogamy, put in other words, I'm trying to smash A LOT and be as honest as I can about it so I don't losing my soul. I want to find other girls who'd be into that, but they might only be available at nighttime bars and clubs.

• My goal in life is to master my craft in storytelling but in order to tell great stories, I have to experience an interesting life. I notice a lot of artists in my field tend to have unfulfilled personal lives and are afraid to do what I'm doing. It tends to bleed into their complaints on social media and their work. I want to be the opposite.

• The kind of girl i'm actually into would be easygoing, kinda dumb in some things but smart in others, non-judgemental, and a little goofy like me.

• Still debating on getting tattoos, but I don't want to do something that permanent just to get women..YET. Who knows maybe i need to. But I'd rather find someone who slays without it.

• I've made peace with being broke for the next few years or even a decade as I figure this stuff out.

• My exit strategy for this game is to end up with two women and have children with both. Even I don't know why I want that.

Upstart said:

unbridled masculinity.

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This is also what you probably like about the RP guys. They are unapologetically themselves which by no coincidence, makes them attractive to women.

You've made an excellent list here and done some good inner game work. Other guys would really benefit from outlining for themselves, in detail, who they are and what they want.

Now your task is to find strategies to authentically express who you are and strategies for getting what you want. For example, Andy mentioning how to bring up softcore stuff to girls. That's a strategy.

JUNE 28th DAY 54(of 90)

THE OTHER DAY I FELT LIKE A CREEP.

It was another day of walking around aimlessly in a grocery store (Target) working up the nerve to go approach some girls. I saw at least 3 good opportunities which I completely whiffed on. As soon as I walked in the store there was a girl at checkout who looked really cute, then two others who --when I worked up the courage to finally talk to- they literally disappeared from sight.

Example: Saw a cute girl in an aisle, I walked past her, said "Excuse me" and went into the next aisle, built up the courage, then walked over to her aisle. She was gone. Checked the others, nowhere to be found.

I felt like a creep, because I was lingering in the store too long without buying anything which is what I used to do when I first started the approach anxiety drills.

I spoke to an employee to warm up, then to some woman about reading books. I didn't approach anyone with dating intent. Lastly, after leaving the store, I complemented a girl on her Rick and Morty shirt.
She said thanks and smiled.

I considered the day a 10/10 because I went out and pushed myself. I always consider it a 10/10 when I make an effort. Better than considering myself a complete loser.
_______________________________________________

INSIGHTS:​

From this, I figured out that there should be repeatable things I do each time to warm me up and get me prepared to approach and talk to girls. Warming up is something I've heard from PUA guys, thousands of times in the past, but only now do I feel I can apply that knowledge from experience.

These are a few notes I jotted down in a google doc.

• Baby step everything
• Focus on one sticking point at a time
• I need a set of warm-up practices to get me in the flow of approaching and talking to girls instead of wandering around.
• Untangling negative beliefs
• Installing new beliefs
• Training new habits alone
• Trying them in field
• Warming up
• Train like you would in the gym practicing lines and free word association, getting better on your own and going out to use it with women.
• Repeatable steps

1. Approach
2. Breathe out for vocal tonality
3. "Excuse me"
4. Smile
5. Acknowledge situation and context
6. Compliment: "You look cute today" I like your... *blank*
7. She speaks
8. Context: "I know this is random, but are you single?"
9. Answer
10. Conversation + touch on shoulder at high points.
11. Phone number on high note.

Train your neurology to instill new habits. Field-test everything.

I need to find activities or something that would be in my wheelhouse, like comic conventions or art events, physical activities something with lots of girls and opportunities.

Bman said:

Now your task is to find strategies to authentically express who you are and strategies for getting what you want. For example, Andy mentioning how to bring up softcore stuff to girls. That's a strategy.

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Thanks Bman! Yes, that's exactly what I want to do, I want to express my actual vibe and develop confidence through action.

It's a lot like this guy I've seen online named Castillo, (his catchphrase is "Big Man Ting") he used to be scared of people, esp. women. He'd go on subways and such to try and push himself out of his comfort zone and approach. Now you can barely tell he ever had any social issues. I really resonated with his story.

JUNE 29th DAY 55 (of 90)
(before the second set of night drills.)

I wonder...​

Should I be more selective on the apps or would that be a waste of time? Like, should I swipe on a girl that is more likely to match?

Secondly my balls are starting to ...hurt isn't the right word. Ache, maybe? It's mildly uncomfortable!
Next things next. Last night.




I hit these drills hard and fast. I think the semen retention is working. I was going at a pretty decent clip the entire night, talking to random people throughout.

I'm not doing nofap. I'm just limiting it to once per week. I've legit never had an addiction to masturbation, and I only started doing it at age 22. My libido has never really been that high, but my desire for sex is mountainous, if that makes sense.

Like, I want sex, but I'm not horny enough to jerk off every single day.

On to the night... ​

I deadass walked into a bathroom with a bunch of guys either smoking or waiting for the toilet, and said "There is waaay too many niggas in here." It was actually a mix of races, but they laughed.

I ran into another group at a certain point playing cornhole. A guy introduced himself to me and asked if I wanted to play. I said "I'll just watch for now." I hung with them for a bit. By which I mean I made awkward small talk with 2 of the 5 guys and then bounced.

I realized my sticking point at night is, I don't like the sound of my voice when I'm loud. And this afternoon I came to a stunning realization: I'm naturally jokey and funny. I love comedy and I'm an anime nerd (I'm 50 episodes into INUYASHA right now for god's sakes).

But I hide that part of myself to keep up this masculine front so people don't take advantage of me. It's a holdover pattern of behavior from my high school days. Now, it's completely unnecessary. I didn't want to be too jokey for fear that girls would find me stupid or dumb, or just not find my sense of humor attractive.

But Mark Manson's book would call that needy behavior. Changing my behavior to suit others instead of the other way around.

I smile and have the most fun when I make stupid random jokes about whatever comes to mind. I make stupid faces to get a laugh and like to make dumb sound effects and pretend to hit people without actually hitting them. I know this is my natural self, because this is how I am with close family and friends.

The stoic aspect of myself was for developing discipline and physicality so that people didn't walk all over me because I used to be more of a people pleaser. It was also for developing an acceptance of for negative situations, so that my sensitive emotions didn't overrun me.

Subconsciously, I've always mimicked the personalities of my favorite anime characters like Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin or Vash the Stampede from Trigun. They have a good mix of badass and goofy traits to them which make them great characters. Them, and Spongebob!

I want to develop the ability to do and act how I want. And let those who fuck with my vibe gravitate towards me. Instead of changing myself to attract people I don't even like.

I don't think it's a matter of "this guy looks cool and gets lots of girls I should look like him and act like him to get the same result". It's more of, "this guy has found his groove. He knows which girls are attracted to him and why, and he is brave enough to act on it. He owns who he is and finds those girls who mesh well with him. It doesn't even register as bravery anymore, he's just used to it."

It's kinda like how Youtubers polarize their audience by being exactly who they are and not being a bland generic version of themselves.

Upstart said:

Should I be more selective on the apps or would that be a waste of time? Like, should I swipe on a girl that is more likely to match?

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I havent read your log and dont know your goals/experience level but if you are inexperienced then definitely yes, you cant afford to be picky. GLL once said swipe right on every girl you would fuck if you would have had a few drinks.

GOOD LORD.​

It took Leo Gura of Actualized.org 450+ approaches before he landed a successful cold approach!​

I'm rewatching his 3 part series on how to get laid.

When he said the learning curve for cold approach was steep, he wasn't fucking kidding.

My expectations have been tempered back down to basically ZERO. I've only done maybe 37 actual approaches. I didn't really count the ones when I wasn't able to ask "Are you single?"
So I honestly don't expect any results even after 100.

I describe this feeling in the video, but when I went out in the afternoon, it's like I could feel the energy coming from my balls. That uncomfortable feeling of horniness pushed me to talk more, but it also cushioned the blow from rejections. It's like my balls became my fall back, my reserve energy. Very interesting to note.


JUNE 30th DAY 56 (of 90)
(I technically went outside, but I spent the day helping an uncle move. This will be additional info about June 29th and the night game!)

NIGHT GAME VLOG

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My perception of myself must be 10x lower than what people see me as. When I talk to people at night they say I seem cool. By that, I think they mean chill to be around.
I was called "big" (as in, muscles) several times last night. I feel smaller than most.


I feel like my vocal tonality is okay, but I’m not confident in my parlance. I speak too formally sometimes and watch my words too carefully, like I’m trying not to get made fun of. I’ll say things like "doing weed" or "absolutely". But I feel like like I’m talking too “white”. I don’t feel black enough, I don’t feel Nigerian enough, I speak mostly proper english and with some slang mixed in every once in a while, and I know a good bit of Japanese. I’m not like anyone else I know IRL.

Perseus said:

I havent read your log and dont know your goals/experience level but if you are inexperienced then definitely yes, you cant afford to be picky. GLL once said swipe right on every girl you would fuck if you would have had a few drinks.

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Thanks man! I haven't read that tip in a looong time, so almost forgot about it.

IN OTHER NEWS...​

I'm so proud of my cousin. He's become way more confident than he was at 17. He's 20 now, and finally lost his virginity, and has another girl waiting for him. I showed him how to cold approach and now he can do it with me.
I've taught him so much about the game and life and now he's internalizing it.
I saw so much of myself in him, I was determined to shortcut his path to succeeding with women and in other areas.

His dad showed him how to do a vision board to get the life he wants. He vision boarded the room he wanted when he was 16. Now he has it almost to the picture. His room is so dope, it's perfect for bringing girls back. Complete with guitar in the corner, lol. He's making an album with a friend he networked with, and others are reaching out to him for collaboration, he's a drummer and composer.

I pray for his further success.

JULY 3rd DAY 59 (of 90)
Man I be writing on this forum like it's my job almost.

MASSIVE MISSED OPPORTUNITY RANT​

I’m pissed at myself and I have to vent.

I just came from the gym, I was walking into HEB and saw a cute girl. Gave her a smile. She smiled back and checked me out. I haven’t seen a sign this warm in two years.

And I just did nothing with it.

I went in fully intending to get what I was getting then turned around to try to go and talk to her. She had a friend with her. That deterred me slightly. They were standing outside lingering for a little while.
I go back outside to get a cart just to get another look at her, she was cute. I could have said something, but I fucking pussied out again and went inside the store. They were still there lingering.

I watched from a safe distance as they walked away forever.

FUCK ME.

I didn’t even want to buy what I intended anymore. Why reward my cowardice. I drove home in shock. Then slammed on my center console in anger. Came home, sat on my bed in regret.
That could’ve been an easy number. A new girlfriend even.

Now it’s nothing.

It’s like my whole nervous system is arrayed against me. I unconsciously count myself out even if everything in my wants to approach.

Usually I let opportunities pass and feel nothing, but this one was different because she looked dead at me and smiled. And I did nothing. I let myself down, maybe even let her down. (Though she probably thinks nothing of this moment at all haha.)

Is this pain enough to NEVER AGAIN let another girl slip through my fingers like that? I don’t know. Time will tell. If another CLEAR signal like that ever comes through again, I WILL go for it. I don’t care who’s around.

SEVERAL HRS LATER… I UNDERSTOOD:​

After some time lamenting, I finally figured out where I went wrong:

I was afraid of losing her smile!

I got so much validation from finally getting a smile back, that I was afraid of talking to her and “losing it”. I was afraid of chatting her up, looking like a loser, and losing the rush of validation, I got just from that little smile.
I lost nothing and I gained nothing.


The more time that passed, and the more I ruminated on whether i should go out and talk to her, the more I dawdled around and wasted the opportunity trying to think of all the ways the approach could go wrong. All I was afraid of was fear itself. If I spoke to her at least my mind could see the reality and be clear right now.
I could have added a new phone number on my contacts. Now I look forward to my next opportunity like this. I won’t let it slip away.

THIS is about as far as looks and muscles will take you. It will get your foot in the door, but YOU have to go through it. YOU have to speak!

Most times I'm not really bothered by my inaction, but this one really got to me for once. I now understand viscerally why guys say to choose possible rejection over certain regret. This one hurt.

After understanding what I was so afraid of in this instance, I don't feel angry or regretful anymore. I've learned my lesson, time will arrange another opportunity exactly like this when I am least prepared or expectant. So we'll see if I actually learned it.

You're being way too hard on yourself. I get 2-3 indicators of interest a day. When I approach, 99% of them go nowhere. Girls are just curious, it doesn't really mean anything. And they IOI way more when they're with others, because they know that it won't go anywhere.

Remember, they're girls: they literally get off on flirting and teasing without any consequences.

The conclusion, though, is useful: to get the girl, you have to be unafraid to lose her.

JULY 5th DAY 61 (of 90)

I GOT KICKED OUT OF A CLUB​

They probably thought I was drunk.
I was super tired and probably didn't respond to the bouncer coherently enough, so that's probably why.
I didn't put up much of a fuss, but it did throw me off a little for the night.

​

FIT for the Night:​

I just remembered what I wanted to say in the video which I forgot. Leo from Actualized.org said it's a steep learning curve, but once you master this ability, it can be easy to abuse as you've acquired a skill which most men don't have, and it can feel like you've earned the right to extract value from women no matter the cost.

I'd like to go all the way with this process to see what that temptation looks like in my own mind, and to see how I deal with it. I don't care matter how many years it takes master this.

SAN ANTONIO RIVERWALK​

Earlier in the day, I went to San Antonio Riverwalk after work. Waaay too expensive just to park somewhere. Air must cost $5 per breath. I thought it would be a good daygame location, and it is, but too far out of my wheelhouse for now. Later I found out the population is higher than Austin's coming to about 1.3 mil vs Austin's 900k people.

I'll stick to San Marcos, and Austin when I can swing it.

These days I'm also starting to put the internet back in it's proper place as a supplement to life, instead of the main attraction. A place to retrieve or add information for the benefit of yourself or others, then to return to real life.

​

TAKEAWAYS​

Honestly, I'm tired of feeling like a creep when I go out. I wish I could just be normal and comfortable with myself.
But I'll keep pushing through. I don't know any other way, and I won't quit.

Learning this skill is more important than ever, because the more time passes the more I see guys in my own industry and related fields in entertainment completely undone by their sexual desires. They are either inexperienced, repressed or frustrated in a relationship and once they get enough power and notoriety to exercise their options, they end up abusing the power and getting cancelled by their inability to control themselves.

And those are lucky ones.
Most barely get the chance to act on even 1% of their sexual desires. And no one cares. They are just expected to suck it up and/or die alone. Eventually, their sexual appetites become more twisted and deviant due to loneliness and hopelessness, and it starts to leak out online.

I know of a comic creator who got into a relationship with someone way younger, was accused of being a sex pest, and a p-file, then laughed and shamed out the industry. He lost friends, business deals and social standing. In the end he wrote a 5 page note, then killed himself.
His name was Ed Piskor.

I think if he had some understanding of game beforehand he could've prevented this unfortunate series of events.

pancakemouse said:

I get 2-3 indicators of interest a day. When I approach, 99% of them go nowhere. Girls are just curious, it doesn't really mean anything. And they IOI way more when they're with others, because they know that it won't go anywhere.

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Thanks man, that really puts things into perspective for me!

JULY 9th DAY 65 (of 90)

I SHOWED UP.​

I'm using that mindset every time I do an approach, go out, or do anything social whether I succeed or not.

I've also stopped pursuing sex. It's just not forthcoming no matter what I do, so I quit.

Instead, I've adopted this mindset:

​

FUNDAMENTALS > FUTURE​

I want to focus more on the process of game itself and building an attractive life I can enjoy instead of the end goal. And allow sex to be a natural byproduct of putting in the time.

Chasing sex all the time is stressing me out and produces no results. I can bet that women can sense that tension subtly no matter what do to hide it. I do want to get to the point where I've slept with triple digits, just to see what other guys are talking about, but I'm willing to take my time now instead of forcing it.

BREAK FROM APPS

I'm gonna take a soft break this week from online dating apps. The results have been dismal. Even if I have a good conversation, by the time I even suggest a possible meet up, they all flake. Every damn last one. So I'm gonna cool it a bit and take some better photos soon.

I even shaved my chest just to see what it would look like. It's actually pretty interesting to see my muscles without hair, almost a night and day difference from before. It is itchy though.

I didn't go out Saturday night. I wanted to take a break after the night I got kicked out. I have to remember, I'm still relatively new to this stuff and pushing it actually makes it less fun to try as I go along. It actually makes me more scared to go out sometimes.

The past couple days however, I seem to have found a decent pace of talking to girls in a day.
1 per day works great for me at the moment.


I talked to a girl on the 7th and the 8th. I didn't even follow the script exactly.
First girl had a nice ass, so I felt compelled to approach.
My opener: "Excuse me, are you an athlete?"

And we had a little convo about her sports background. Then I asked if she was single, and she said "no, I have a boyfriend". I said my usual pardon, "Dang, no worries, just take it as a compliment" and went on about my day.

Today, I spoke to a similar girl and started off in a similar way.
Same opener except she was a personal trainer. I had to force myself to remember to smile because I had forgotten to. We had a little convo, but she also had a boyfriend. But she was insanely cute with nice ass in her shorts. Oh well.

I also tried talking to another latina, but she actually spoke spanish and couldn't understand me, lol.

TAKING IT EASY:

For now, I'm only going after the most easy targets. No friends in sight, family, or possible boyfriend around. Lone targets, and bonus if no one is within earshot. If they don't look open to talking, I won't approach. Too hot/intimidating I'll only approach depending on my mood. I won't approach for "practice". Only if I'm genuinely interested.

I used to spend hours out and about doing the AA program, just to get to this level. So if I approach now, I make it count.

My baseline goal is 5 approaches per WEEK based on Roosh V's game. Everything else is gravy, that would make 100+ approaches every 5 months.

My current lifetime total: 40 approaches!

I might try to push it to 1 approach per day and only if it looks like a layup and is super easy. Anything more is because I see someone else who I'm genuinely interested in.

I wanted to do 4 per day as suggested by a Girlschase.com article, but attempting that daily burned me out and made me put it off.

In fact, when my goal was 5 approaches or even 3 approaches per day, I'd put that off and only get 2 per week.
If I continue with 1 per day I have a much higher chance of being consistent with that.

I have high aspirations, but pushing it in these early stages is making this process un-fun.

I'm gonna go back to trying to work on my personal projects and focus on having more fun and enjoyment in life in general because chasing women is actually just boring and frustrating, all I wanted was the validation of sleeping with somebody but that won't come unless I evolve beyond my current paradigm ...again.

Sometimes, it just seems like everyone else has an easier time with this stuff than I do, but I know that's just an illusion. It's just that I never seem to "just get lucky" like others. It sometimes feels like I have to fight tooth and nail just to gain an inch.

My dick hasn't touch anything but my own hand all summer!!!

Upstart said:

My baseline goal is 5 approaches per WEEK based on Roosh V's game. Everything else is gravy, that would make 100+ approaches every 5 months.

My current lifetime total: 40 approaches!

I might try to push it to 1 approach per day and only if it looks like a layup and is super easy. Anything more is because I see someone else who I'm genuinely interested in.

I wanted to do 4 per day as suggested by a Girlschase.com article, but attempting that daily burned me out and made me put it off.

In fact, when my goal was 5 approaches or even 3 approaches per day, I'd put that off and only get 2 per week.
If I continue with 1 per day I have a much higher chance of being consistent with that.

I have high aspirations, but pushing it in these early stages is making this process un-fun.

Click to expand...

5 approaches a week is not enough man. That's like saying you're only going to do 5 reps of bicep curls a week to get bigger arms. The only guys I know who can make it with this volume are extremely advanced and you're not there yet. You'll be spending way more time thinking about daygame than actually doing it which is not what you want.

I've also had to deal with a lot of AA so I know exactly what you're going through. The hardest part is getting started. Once you've built some momentum it feels a lot easier and you'll have lesser inhibitions to express yourself. Here is how you can go about your session:

1. Go to the busiest place at the busiest time.
2. The first 20 minutes make as many approaches as possible. (You must force yourself for at least 20 mins)
   1. Do not try to be perfect. In fact, your approaches can be completely shit. No problem. The point is to open.
   2. You cannot wait for only hot chicks. You must approach the mid ones as well.
3. After 20 minutes, if you still don't feel like approaching go home, otherwise continue for another 20 minutes but this time try to make every approach a little better. Repeat

Yeah 5 approaches a week isn't going to cut it.

My current goal is 40+ per week. And even then that's not as much as some guys. Pancake does like 80+ in a week.

Granted, you probably don't have access to the same level of volume, but if you want to see progress, you need to do more than 5 a week. At least 20-30 a week if you don't have a crazy amount of volume.

JULY 11th DAY 67 (of 90)​

THE TRAINING WHEEELS ARE STARTING TO COME OFF NATURALLY...​

I went out immediately after reading Max and Squilliam's replies.

I'm starting to let go of the template from the Get laid in 6 weeks book:

“Hey there, this is random, but I thought you were cute and had to say hi.”
[She responds.] If it was positive and she’s open to talking to you: “I’m [your name].” (Shake her hand.) “Are you single?”

I can now go indirect with approaches have a decent convo and go straight for the number!
My last three approaches this week were indirect actually (indirect, meaning I didn't automatically compliment her first).

My Takeaways from today:

1. I can now directly see the benefit of the PUA 3 second rule, where if you see a girl you must approach within 3 seconds or you'll get too in your head. It's so true. I find when I wait too long, I just end up lingering and waiting for a better moment, which never comes.
2. Talk to store clerks or (workers who are obligated to help you) to shake the rust off. It really helps build the tiniest bit of momentum to get going.
3. I don't have to ask "are you single?" in every case. Sometimes it may work against me. Better to go straight for the number. I just need a line to deliver confidently.

In fact, I notice something I heard RSDTyler Owen Cook explain a long time ago in a video: Everything I learned intellectually, I'm now relearning as I experience it infield.

I still need to find a good way to record what I'm doing.

The #1 Thing I notice...​

My complete lack of nervousness after the approach. I don't feel nervous at all after the approach (maybe a little jittery due to excitement) and it's not so bad during. I mainly feel it just before the approach, which is why the 3 second rule is so important. It bypasses the fear response!

Max said:

1. Go to the busiest place at the busiest time.
2. The first 20 minutes make as many approaches as possible. (You must force yourself for at least 20 mins)
   1. Do not try to be perfect. In fact, your approaches can be completely shit. No problem. The point is to open.
   2. You cannot wait for only hot chicks. You must approach the mid ones as well.
3. After 20 minutes, if you still don't feel like approaching go home, otherwise continue for another 20 minutes but this time try to make every approach a little better. Repeat

Click to expand...

SOLID ADVICE, Max, Thanks.

Squilliam said:

Granted, you probably don't have access to the same level of volume, but if you want to see progress, you need to do more than 5 a week. At least 20-30 a week if you don't have a crazy amount of volume.

Click to expand...

Thanks Squilliam!

Both of your replies have helped me reset my baseline for what I should reasonably do. I only arrived at 5 per week because I thought that was correct, but if volume is what is needed at this point, that's what I'll do.

MY LOGISTICS​

I live in a relatively small college town (San Marcos Pop: 70,302) which heavily increases during the school year. So for now, during summer, it's not that busy but that doesn't stop me from finding girls around.

Sometimes I make the drive down to Austin for more options, but it's about 30-40 mins from where I live so it's not great on gas or logistics.

But I do live 4 mins away from all the bars and clubs in San Marcos's downtown area called the Square. It would be a 20 min walk.

As for daygame, I usually go to grocery stores. And maybe the outlet mall in town, but it's usually couples and families there.

I'm so glad I'm off social media for the time being. it's nice not to have to maintain an online presence while trying to go out and socialize IRL.

This officially brings my approach count up to 42!

A LAST NOTE ON MY TYPE OF WOMAN:​

It doesn't really matter at this point.

A lot of guides, mainly the book Models says to focus on the type of girl I'd like to attract, but at these early stages, it's pointless. My type is whoever I smash. I have a loose guideline in my head, but I simply don't have enough reference points to make solid judgement on it.