Brandon’s 365 Days of Masculine, Self-affirming Action: Days 278-283

[Bman]

Day 187: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 188: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Selling Stuff

Started selling off furniture, electronics, and other stuff I won’t be taking in the van. I’m noting this here only because my mindset going into negotiations has greatly improved. Same with when I bought the van. I know the price I’m willing let things go for and don’t let others use tactics like guilt me into lowering a price, as someone tried to do today. Told them what they could pay, or they would have to find another. They payed what I asked. Just like with women, who’s got more frame?

First thing I sold was my TV and Xbox one. I don’t ever use them except on Sundays for a few hours. But now I’ve just cleared my leisure time for some more beneficial leisure activities that are semi productive, like taking photos, writing, reading, or working on the van. All that are fun, but are still moving me towards my goals.

• Taking photos for the apps

...Annnd started that habit today.

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Day 189: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Delegation

Let the other leaders run the munch without me there today. Allowed me to do some errands and work I needed to get done.

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Day 190: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Call with Ravi
• Men’s Group

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Day 191: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Taking photos for the apps

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Day 192: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Buying some tools for the van

Again noting this because the more I work on my own confidence, self assurance, and mindset, the more I notice just how nervous other people are about themselves. They divulge a bunch of information and self-narrative. I didn’t even ask for it. As I interacted with the guy, I was just watching, not judging, and really felt no need to have any self-narrative. I was there to buy tools, for a specific price.

B, did you used to be this nervous and worried about yourself? Are you still?

I'm sure sometimes. We all are to some extent. But I'll say I’ve come a long way.

• Checked out a local makerspace to join

There is a large makerspace here that has a woodworking shop, metalworking shop, textile shop, cnc machines, laser cutters, and ton of tools. Figured it will come in handy when I get past the insulation stage on the van for making custom furniture & storage inside. Also a plus I used a lot of this stuff in architecture school.

Attended an orientation class you’re required to do to get a membership. The instructor was actually a cute nerdy shop girl. The kind that wears a big t shirt that hides her body, but you can tell she’s a petite little thing underneath. Also eyeballed her tats on her legs. Worth trying to smash when I join later, especially since the competition from the guys there are pretty low.

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Day 193: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Reorganized my schedule for priorities

Recently in my startup I’ve decided to branch it into a for-profit and nonprofit. The nonprofit side will provide the free courses and educational programs aimed at global challenges, and have an endowment to continue its existence and give scholarships to students. The for-profit side will take our proprietary models and provide learning experience design for others who are creating courses or learning programs. The reasons for this are numerous, but the results mean that I now have some repeatable needle moving tasks I need to do each week to gain new clients, including content creation.

So I timeblocked my weekly schedule to consistent do this each week. While I was at it I blocked out consistent time for my others goals including gym, dating, the van, ect. I had already done this before, but as life updates happen, its always good to revaluate.

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Funny thing, I matched with a van life girl on Tinder this week, but she was flaky about setting up a date on Wednesday. Matched another girl who ended up getting called into work today, so we had to reschedule next week. All good, Spiritual Girl is coming over tomorrow.

Going to start ripping into the van tomorrow. Will be recording and vlogging the build.

Then helping Ravi bootstrap his men’s group on Sunday.

And next week is going to be busy as hell. New schedule from above. Running my munch on Monday, networking event on Tuesday, Shrine munch on Wednesday, scheduled date Friday, and Shrine on Sunday.

Let’s go!

 

[AskTheDom]

Solid work brother
One step at the time

 

[Bman]

Have a moment of downtime because my date rescheduled for tomorrow and I didn't order all the parts I needed to work on the van this evening, so figured I'd update this from the last month.

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Day 194: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work
• Had Spiritual Girl over

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Day 195: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van Work
• Helped Ravi start his men’s group

Was great to have this call. As expected, some took to the format well, some others found it weird. It’s not for everyone, nor do I claim it to be. But it certainly helped a few guys and glad I could help to get it started.

Funny enough, I took a walk after the call. I was a little irritable. Something about it had rubbed me the wrong way. When that happens I try to ask why and drill into what I’m trying to tell myself.

It gave me a revelation that I really need to hone in on what I want with game/ dating, with business, ect. I’m tremendously grateful for these forums. However it’s easy for me to try to succeed in something in order to earn the respect of those that I respect. Not necessarily to have them like me, but respect me. While that can be positive, it can also blind me to what my goals are.

I reminded myself that game is not my number one priority. Love & relationships are towards the bottom of my value hierarchy. Yet I’m putting a lot of effort into earning the respect of those who game/dating is their number one priority, because they have traits or results I would like to learn from.

So, I had to remind myself of what I wanted and why I got into game in the first place:

• Purpose is my number one priority. The business is an extension of that, and as such, it was time to really put in some work into this, beyond what I was already doing.
• After experiencing 3-4 week dryspells and get 3-4 lays in a weeks time, I can say that for maintainece of mental health, I need to have sex at bare minimum of once per week. On other end, having sex with more than 3 different girls in week feels hedonistic to me and I’m probably diverting a lot of time and energy away from my priority. So between 1-3 girls a week is the sweet spot for me.
• I value mastery more than I value love & relationships. When I started game, I wanted to eventually have the CONFIDENCE to approach any woman I found attractive, and at the very least have the SKILL to give me a chance. Online helped bring me to the starting line in game, and helped me with self-image issues showing me that maybe I COULD be that guy, but I’m not getting the deliberate practice or exposure I need to really have confidence or skill. I’m going to have to actually practice game. Not just rely on my SMV and always hitting it home with Yes Girls. I’m going to have to lean more into in person social game and day game (and probably bite the bullet of shit sleep a few times for the exposure of nightgame).
• Lastly, autonomy is also a value higher than love & relationships. The van hits that hard. As such I’m going to want to sink a lot of time into that.

So what did all this look like in action:

• As much as I love the KYIL community, I need to step back from even viewing or interacting on the logs. The focus is tangential to mine, but can also lead me to mix priorities. So just write everything up in a word document and post periodically.
• I reworked my schedule (again) to include “if not x, then y” statements like “if not on a date, then out CA” or “in not on a date, then working on the van” depending on the night.
• I’m aiming for 1-3 girls a week. Ideally 1-2 on rotation, and the rest are new girls.
  
  I’ve always been more autodidactic. I’ve extracted 80% of what I could learn from the community and now need to return to learning on my own for a while to stay focused on my priorities. I need the room to run my own experiments.

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Day 196: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation

Every Monday from now on is dedicated to busting out content for leads. I had a tremendously fun time recording and editing the content for today. Because its focused on education, I get the privilege of engaging in deliberate practice of teaching each week, putting out the content, and getting feedback. I record one piece of content and it is repurposed into one YT video, 5 YT shorts, 5 LinkedIn posts, 1 LinkedIn article, 1 blog article, 1 Substack article, and 1 podcast. Every week. Let’s see how it does.

• Ran the munch

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Day 197: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Networking event

Wore the suit out with mixed reactions, which is what I’d expect. On the upside, there was a Latina in red dress (who stood out because of it) that eye fucked me as I passed her. I pussied out as I was already leaving. Shame.

Also ran into MilfandCookies. Great to see and catch up with him. The more digital we get, the more bullish I’m getting on in person interactions. Specifically because people are waaaay different than they are online. So big and bad online, but you get them in person and they are timid. I, on the otherhand, feel far more comfortable in person because I can read people better. Now to just improve that with women, sexually, in person.

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Day 198: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Shrine munch

Was a fun gaining more experience with preselection/ status game. First off, I looked great because I got several compliments about my “look” and “vibe”. But I also surrounded myself with women during the evening. When I got there I sat with two girls from my munch, both cute, who I am under the impression want to fuck me. Later Event Girl showed up, who is very feminine and dresses like a girl from San Diego, gave me a big hug, and introduced me to her friend. Ended up just chatting and vibing with them until I left. Shame OF Girl didn’t make it out (she texted me before the munch she wasn’t making it) because I could have certainly leveraged all that.

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Day 199: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Call with Jmand

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Day 200: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Date & Lay 25

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Day 201: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 202: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Shrine

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Day 203: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

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Day 204: Tues
Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Read Mode One

This book was pretty eye opening that even though I try to be honest and upfront, I am still sometimes in what he calls Mode Two, basically being too slow to state desires, boundaries, and ultimately what I value.

So I implemented what I read and used Mode One to tell Lips Girl that I did not want to hookup with her again and just be friends, just to make sure there was no question about it. Basically made all my statements “I want…” or “I don’t want…” with no justifying them. Worked out great. She said she wanted the same and there was no confusion.

Going to try my damndest to keep speaking this way. I realized that what I fear when not just directly stating my desires is not rejection, but ridicule. But the more self assured you become, the less the ridicule matters.

• Men’s group

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Day 205: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• CA

Now that I have a car, I can do a 15 min drive to the mall rather than 45 min bus ride. There was at least 5 sets I could have done, and I punked out. Identifying that yes, in fact, the anxiety I get is from ridicule. Got it. Lets work with that.

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Day 206: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• 0/1 CA

Went to the grocery store for something real quick. Approached a cute Latina in a short skirt. She was hesitant and not that interested. I didn’t care, I just needed some practice.

• Van Work

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Day 207: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Date & Lay 26

Some of the best sex I’ve had. Such a great experience.

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Day 208: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 209: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Writing

Based on Crisis’s recommendation on my Social Game thread, I started writing my thoughts on dominance and submission to publish on FetLife. Think it will help give some more credibility to my profile.

• Last night with Spiritual Girl for a while

Had a great scene with Spiritual Girl fulfilling one of her fantasies. Afterwards we were very vulnerable with each other and shared a lot of gratitude for the last 6 months. She’s going way for a few months and will be back in September. She told me I was an amazing Dom and that I should think about teaching others, for which I told her I felt I still had a lot to learn first. She was very grateful for how much I’ve helped her grow sexually. Was very warming to hear.

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Day 210: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

There is another girl who has been visiting my munch who is also a top 1% only fans girl. She’s got a cute face and wonderfully submissive good girl personality, but is a bit chubbier so I’m not entirely interested in her. She flirts hard with me though during the munches. Today she was showing me one of her friends, also amateur porn star, saying she’s just my type and that I’d be really into her. I just soaked in the moment of realization I’m starting to fill my social circle with porn stars. Life’s wild.

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Day 211: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

---------------------

Day 212: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Lock-in lay with Politics Girl

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Day 213: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Call with JmanD

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Day 214: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 215: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 216: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 217: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation

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Day 218: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Men’s Group
• Setup the professional meetup

Got everything setup on Meetup.com to host a professional networking type meetup. First one is set for next Tuesday. Trying to port over all the skills I’ve learned with the munches, so hosting this meetup once a week on Tuesday mornings. Let’s see how it goes.

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Day 219: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• 0/5 CA with Ed

Set 1: High schooler
Set 2: Black girl in tight dress with friend; vibed, then short answers and had husband
Set 3: Blonde going to parking garage; very sweet but had boyfriend
Set 4: Quickly came out of Forever 21, immediately approached but did not stop properly, kept walking
Set 5: Girl in Whole Foods, vibed well, pitched date, said she was meeting up with friends, didn't get number (because I spaced to even do that)

• Shrine munch

A good looking guy I met at the munch last month brought a new girl with him. One the girls from my munch started talking with the new girl and told her I was the guy to know if she was new to the scene. I thought the new girl was cute so I approached to start chatting with her and the guy she came with basically said the same thing, that I was the guy to know. She was pretty shy and nervous, but we chatted a bit before I returned to chatting with others.

Next day she messaged me on Fet and we’re setting a date next week. Certainly makes it easy when even the GUY YOU CAME WITH gives me social proof.

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Day 220: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Had Politics Girl over

Seriously love fucking this girl. So glad she’s in the rotation. I think we are going to have a lot of fun and growth with each other.

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Day 221: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

 

[natedawg]

It gave me a revelation that I really need to hone in on what I want with game/ dating, with business, ect. I’m tremendously grateful for these forums. However it’s easy for me to try to succeed in something in order to earn the respect of those that I respect. Not necessarily to have them like me, but respect me. While that can be positive, it can also blind me to what my goals are.

I reminded myself that game is not my number one priority. Love & relationships are towards the bottom of my value hierarchy. Yet I’m putting a lot of effort into earning the respect of those who game/dating is their number one priority, because they have traits or results I would like to learn from.

So, I had to remind myself of what I wanted and why I got into game in the first place:

Respect this a lot man. I've felt the same way. I think a huge part of this game is understanding when you're working on the goals you want vs achieving things for the sake of respect from your peers. The former gets you ahead. The latter keeps you on the eternal search for validation.

You've been doing some serious work, man. Keep it up.

 

[Bman]

Respect this a lot man. I've felt the same way. I think a huge part of this game is understanding when you're working on the goals you want vs achieving things for the sake of respect from your peers. The former gets you ahead. The latter keeps you on the eternal search for validation.

We're all human after all. Gaining some validation is helpful for one point of feedback, but you're ultimately this the one who has to set the course and take the journey. So you other point of feedback should be from yourself. I started this 365 to become more "selfish", or at least swing the pendulum away from the nice guy tendencies. What I believe is actually happening is understanding of how to be self affirming while still navigating a social environment in which its still necessary to take into account their needs, desires, opinions, judgements, and so on. I'm reaching some sort of healthy middle.

 

[Bman]

Day 222: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 223: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van Work
• Shrine & completed DM training

I was working most of the event this time because I was completing my Dungeon Monitor training. Basically a DM is someone who observes what’s happening in the dungeon to make sure everything is safe, consensual, and the crowd is not causing havoc. General good knowledge for BDSM, but also just more status points in the scene.

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Day 224: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

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Day 225: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Ran my first meetup

Had 7 people show for the first meetup. Couple cute girls in their 20’s. Was actually a great experience talking with other passionate people who want to do good in the world. I also learned a lot about how when people speak passionately about something in a group, how it brings both energy and tension to a conversation. We came up with a few ways we might volunteer or do community projects together. I also mentioned the startup and the work I was doing.

With this meetup I’m trying to hit 4 buckets at one time:
- Improve my leadership skills
- Do good work in the community
- Meet other professionals who could be leads for the startup
- Meet and be shown in high status to hot professionals

I’d say all of these are very possible. Looking forward to seeing how it evolves.

• Van work
• Call with Jmand

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Day 226: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

---------------------

Day 227: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Attempted shoot with Ed

Was trying to help out Ed by photographing a more sexual type shoot for his profiles. Got a model off fetlife, got everything in place, and then she flaked last minute. Was not awesome, but comes with the territory.

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Day 228: Fri
Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 229: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 230: Sun
Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van Work

Finished up insulation today. Will be laying the subfloor and cutting a hole in the roof for the fan next week. Also sketched out a floor plan.

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Day 231: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Went over to Politics Girl’s place

Really enjoying my time with this girl. Her level of politeness and submissiveness has not gotten old. She also keeps herself dolled up and dressed in lingerie, corsets, ect when she sees me. Introduced her to some bondage and she ate it up like its candy.

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Day 232: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Ran my meetup

Had members return, including the 2 cute girls from before. We talked about ways we would like to help the homeless here in Austin. Came up with a way individuals can help, and next week I’ll bring up ways we might take action in the city at a more systems level. One of the girls offered to help start the first couple steps for creating care packages for the homeless as an action individuals can do. So I helped facilitate resources so she could do that. Also collected everyone’s emails so I could email a recap and next steps to everyone.

Note: For the lurkers who are reading this and not on this forum already, pursuing getting laid does not have to be a purely selfish endeavor. One of the points of motivation for creating this meetup was to put myself in front of hot professional women. One of my other motivators was doing good in the community. Being selfish and being selfless don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Just have some forethought in your actions and you can make them beneficial for everyone.

• Men’s group

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Day 233: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 234: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 235: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van Work

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Day 236: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work
• Setting expectations

Was supposed to go on a date with the girl from the Shrine munch, but she cancelled last minute due to poor planning on her part with her birthday adventures that weekend. She asked to reschedule and I told her she can make it up to me later. Upside of social circle girls, you are more likely to see them again in the future, so it’s more likely they will feel a bit of guilt for canceling.

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Day 237: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 238: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

Did karaoke with the group. There is a place here you can get a private room for a lot of people. Was pretty fun. Was also nice to be appreciated, as one of the girls came over to sit next to me and said thank you for always organizing these. When all the other munches are your standard “meet at a bar and just talk to people”, it’s nice to have someone doing fun stuff.

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Day 239: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 240: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Setting boundaries with Politics Girl

Was supposed to see her this evening, but she cancelled last minute because her cat had surgery and she needed to monitor her. Told her I understood and we can do a raincheck. However, if I’m setting time aside for her, it’s important to me that she keeps those commitments. Especially since I was skipping out on the Shrine munch in order to see her this evening. She said she’ll be much more cognizant of my time and more respectful. Good girl.

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Day 241: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Reserved private pool for kinky pool party for my munch

Used the Swimply app to reserve a nice private pool for 30 people and have a clothing optional pool party later this month for my people.

• Photoshoot with Ed

Finally found another model to help Ed with a photoshoot with his profile. Petite Asian girl. She’s a bit of a “rising star” in the scene here, so I got a few shots of just her to post on the Fet profile. She also brought someone with her, and both of them attend lots of events, so just more social proof in the community.

Ed found a great space that matched the vibe of the shoot. I do photography more for the art now, so it was just fun to hang with him, go back and forth on ideas, and take some photos with a cute girl.

 

[Bman]

Before we get into recording days from the 365, here's a friendly reminder to look good and not be the one getting cucked. Date tomorrow.



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Day 242: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 243: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 244: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Date

Date with very sexy boudoir model. Our conversation was 75% about sex because she runs in swinger circles here and does group sex with her boyfriend who lives in another city. Logistics were poor and she had to get home, but we had a great makeout in the parking lot. I was instantly starting to get hard the minute our lips touched. Unfortunately she’s going on a trip to Rome so getting a 2nd date locked in afterwards might prove difficult.

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Day 245: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

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Day 246: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Took some of the day off

Been feeling depressed and I really just needed to take a break. So I read a book in the morning and took several walks today to help clear my mind.

• Men’s meeting

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Day 247: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Stopped my professional meetup

I realized I’m mentally too leveraged right now to be running another group. So I handed of leadership to someone who has been to all the meetups so far and is excited to be continuing it. I’m glad that they will still be able to do good work with it. Still cool to see it take shape with even just a small portion of my action to begin it. I'll start another in the future, but I think it will need different framing.

• Bought an A7X concert ticket

Also realized I have not done much to just enjoy life. So I bought a ticket to one of my favorite bands coming in October. I love concerts but it’s been a few years since I’ve been to one.

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Day 248: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 249: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 250: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

Felt really good to work on the van today. I had so many cancels/reschedules happen all week with girls that having the ability to work on something completely in my control felt really good.

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Day 251: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 252: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Had Politics Girl over

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Day 253: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Bought a course on D/s

I’m a sex nerd. I love having sex. I love talking about sex. I love learning about sex. And I’m pretty good at sex, but I want to be really good. It’s fun for me to get better at it. So I bought a course on D/s dynamics that is actually aimed at submissives. Reason being is that I enjoy new submissives and helping them explore. This course is just expanding my toolbox of questions or activities to do with them to improve that process.

• Date & Lay with #27 - Dress Girl

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Day 254: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Picking out lingerie for Politics Girl to buy

Politics Girl texted me that she has a subscription to a lingerie store and needed to use her monthly credits. She asked if I’d like to pick some out that I want to see her in. So I sent her some of my favorite options. What a fun girl.

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Day 255: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

 

[pancakemouse]

Before we get into recording days from the 365, here's a friendly reminder to look good and not be the one getting cucked. Date tomorrow.

368769189_1007154290413686_1844422284154109065_n.jpg

This needs to be FRAMED.

 

[Bman]

Day 256: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 257: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 258: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Advanced Training with Shrine

Ok this was hilarious. So the organization that throws the big kink event here in Austin was doing an “advanced training” for all the people that work with them. However, it was 99% of stuff I knew. Which was fine, but the hilarious part was that they said they wanted to help people “climb the ladder” in the community. If people wanted to learn skills in higher positions, they could start learning with them. So maybe one day they could run their own events or group if they wanted…

Uhm… You know all this is made up right… There is no one who says you can’t just start something yourself… with zero “experience”… because that’s what I did!

They even used me and my group as an example a few times in the training. Ha!

Truth is, most people are not going to go out on their own and just figure it out. Most people are not that ambitious.

But we are not most people, are we?

• Saw Politics Girl

So they were having a pool party after the training, but I decided to stop by Politics Girl’s place instead because sex sounded like more fun.

When I was there I had left my phone on the kitchen counter and while we were busy in the bedroom, one of her cats swatted it on the floor and shattered the screen & digitizer.

Without hesitation, Politics Girl apologized and said she would pay for me to get an entirely new phone. She offered to even go in with me to get a new one the next day.

Of course this was after I had just taught her some tantra and how to “ride the wave” (basically edging, breath control, and making multiple orgasms blend together) and was some of the best sex she’s had.

I was not even angry (I don’t get angry easily) and was pretty chill. However I was so internally amazed that just a FWB was offering to buy me a new phone. Like, how many guys can say a girl that they fuck once a week will buy them a new phone?! Yes it was her cat that did it, but I did not expect her to do that.

Felt a little hesitant at first but I accepted. I’m certainly worth that.

---------------------

Day 259: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

Had a whole slew of new people. I really enjoy when newbies come in because they are so doe eyed and excited about getting into the community. They meet me, I make them feel welcome, and off they get even more excited to have made friends with other kinky people. Also taught the group how to properly choke someone. Fun times.

---------------------

Day 260: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Bought a new phone, sent the receipt to Politics Girl

Still have to wait for it to arrive in the mail. So right now I’m hooking up my phone to the computer to use it. Real pain in the ass. Do what you have to do.

• Men’s meeting

---------------------

Day 261: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

---------------------

Day 262: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

I’m at about the ½ way point. Waiting on some parts that won’t be here for few weeks. So have to stagger working on different parts of the van. Still pumped.

-------------------------

Day 263: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

--------------------

Day 264: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• 20 person Pool Party for my group

Rented a really nice pool and patio in an upscale neighborhood in South Austin. Was really chill, about half the people were fully naked, and we just hung out mostly. Just like the party I through in April, I just made sure everything is running smoothly and everyone is enjoying themselves. My rewards are reaped later in social status. Everyone kept thanking me and few said they were really happy I started the group. Appreciation is always appreciated.

---------------------

Day 265: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work
• Fixed the Central AC System in my apartment

So a few weeks ago the AC went out in my apartment. I scheduled for the maintainece man to come which took a whole day in the 100 Texas heat. He came and spent very little time in the space above my closet. He flipped back on the breaker and the AC was working… but it was making way more noise than before. I didn’t care. It was 100 degrees in my apartment. I just wanted cold air.

Fast forward to yesterday. AC goes out again. I make it through the night, but the maintainece man is not back on shift until Monday… It was 106 degrees today and I was fucking melting.

So I said to myself “That man is no smarter than I am. I don’t think he actually did anything in there. He probably won’t do anything this time. I’m going to fix it my damn self.”

Now I was an architect before, but I’m no mechanical engineer. However I opened the access panel to the central ac space and just started studying how it worked. I checked all the wires and parts to make sure it was all secure. I flipped on and off the AC breaker a few times. I learned that the motor for the fan would spin, but not very fast. So I started turning and inspecting its parts. Seen it had a small capacitor with two wire that went into it. I thought maybe the fan was not getting enough electrical juice from the capacitor to spin the double fan. Like maybe its only getting half the juice. So I took off the capacitor, opened it up, and saw that one wire end had shorted. Luckily there were 4 slots you could hook up for each of the two wires. So I cleaned everything up, hooked up the wires to clean slots, and flipped the breaker…

Fucking thing took off like a jet engine! I was screaming in joy at my dog who had at this point melted into the ground and was begging for relief.

Seriously the most exciting thing all day. I was so elated.

When in doubt, do it yourself.

 

[Antonio44]

So I took off the capacitor, opened it up, and saw that one wire end had shorted. Luckily there were 4 slots you could hook up for each of the two wires. So I cleaned everything up, hooked up the wires to clean slots, and flipped the breaker…

Nice work getting the starter cap fixed.

From electronics engineer pov: You probably know this, but before touching capacitors, it's a very good safety idea to connect the two contacts of cap with something metal (e g a screwdriver (while you're not touching the metal bit)) to ensure its fully discharged - capacitors can hold charge even when the power is off and disconnected, which can hurt. And I strongly recommend not trying to fix microwaves - much higher voltages inside and big caps that do kill people.

 

[Bman]

Nothing extravagant, just consistent actions.

Day 266: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

---------------------

Day 267: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation

---------------------

Day 268: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

---------------------

Day 269: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

-------------------------

Day 270: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Date, pull, no lay

Wrote about it in my main log

--------------------

Day 271: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van Work

---------------------

Day 272: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Shrine

---------------------

Day 273: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Van Work

---------------------

Day 274: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Men’s Group

---------------------

Day 275: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Date & Lay with #28 Trio Girl

Wrote up in main log.

---------------------

Day 276: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Date, no pull

-------------------------

Day 277: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Hung out with a bunch KYIL guys

Met up with a bunch of guys from Andy’s coaching group.

 

[Bman]

Day 278: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

---------------------

Day 279: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van Work

---------------------

Day 280: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

---------------------

Day 281: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Van work

---------------------

Day 282: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

---------------------

Day 283: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Politics Girl came over

 

[Squilliam]

So they were having a pool party after the training, but I decided to stop by Politics Girl’s place instead because sex sounded like more fun.

When I was there I had left my phone on the kitchen counter and while we were busy in the bedroom, one of her cats swatted it on the floor and shattered the screen & digitizer.

Without hesitation, Politics Girl apologized and said she would pay for me to get an entirely new phone. She offered to even go in with me to get a new one the next day.

Of course this was after I had just taught her some tantra and how to “ride the wave” (basically edging, breath control, and making multiple orgasms blend together) and was some of the best sex she’s had.

I was not even angry (I don’t get angry easily) and was pretty chill. However I was so internally amazed that just a FWB was offering to buy me a new phone. Like, how many guys can say a girl that they fuck once a week will buy them a new phone?! Yes it was her cat that did it, but I did not expect her to do that.

Felt a little hesitant at first but I accepted. I’m certainly worth that.

Wow man. She's a keeper.

 

[Foducossy]

Ok, so I thought hard about what you guys said @Holden & @AskTheDom.

My first thought was "but what gives me the right to tell them what to do yet. I've not given anything yet."

Then I really thought about this...

Like saying no to a potential customer that when asked "how much money you have right now" answers "zero" - so not an opportunity to make money but just a free loader that wants to suck away something

I've been giving my value away freely, without asking if they ever have the money to pay for it.

I know I am valuable and have a lot to offer. But they don't know that yet, so I thought that I couldn't be asking them to do anything yet because I'd not shown them that. But THIS is the reason we "demonstrate high value", so that now we can tell them how much it costs.

It's like a car dealer demonstrating a Ferrari. Once they show it off, they get to tell you how much it costs.

In this situation, I've put a ton of work into myself to build a Ferrari. I've put a ton of work into my profiles to demonstrate the value of the Ferrari. Now I get to tell you how much it costs. And you complying to a small request to wear a certain thing is like a down payment on the Ferrari. It shows me that you'll actually be able to afford it later.

I see how this also applies in the date.

When I first started I was no doubt the buyer in the situation. In the last dozen dates I've come in with a much more even mindset but still forgetting I'm a Ferrari.

When we're on the date we do small things to "demonstrate high value" to remind them of what they are buying. To show it off. Then we have them continue to make down payments based on whatever we are screening for. We are also making sure they know how to actually drive the Ferrari. That they will appreciate such a powerful car.

When I tell her to sit next to me, get her talking about sex, or touch her on the date, I'm seeing if she knows how to be feminine, sink in her pleasure, express her sexuality, be seductive, ect. All things that will make the sexual encounter a lot better. The Ferrari (me and everything I have to offer) drives A LOT better with someone who knows how to drive it (knows how to turn me on). If during the date I find she can't afford it, I should let her go because maybe so she can go get a Honda Accord. If she can afford it but we are not vibing that well, then maybe I should still let her go because she's more fit for a Lambo.

If I just let everyone drive the Ferrari, especially those who don't know how, then it breaks an NO ONE gets to. Meaning if I give myself over to everyone and they can't actually appreciate the value I'm giving, then I get burnt out, resentful, and have no more to give to those who would TRULY value it.

By all this thinking, I honestly should be asking for a lot more. I should raise my prices. And now I totally understand why you tell them to do so much, Holden. I get it. You're a Lambo (or whatever high end luxury car you want).

Excuse me for beating this metaphor into the ground. But it finally fucking clicked for me.

I'm a Ferrari.

Felt a little hesitant at first but I accepted. I’m certainly worth that.

Reading your logs I can see the progress in your mindset. Congrats! It’s really interesting. I feel like I’ve been focusing a lot on getting laid, getting better at game and exploring more of what I like in bed. But there’s deeper work to be done in terms of raising standards and finding my own brand of masculinity.

I feel scared to ask girls what to wear. But I know I have value to give. The fact that they are going to go on a date with me means they think I’m high value. And I dress really well, I’ve invested a lot in it by hiring a stylist and everything. It’s a genuine pet peeve for me when a girl doesn’t dress nicely. But I have certain tastes. I don’t care for heels like Holden but I definitely like knee high boots. And I like girls with nice earrings and other accessories.

How do you ask? Direct? “Wear knee high boots if you have them”. Hint? “I like knee high boots, by the way”. Indirect? “Do you have knee high boots?” -> “Yes” -> “Wear them, I like how they look on a woman.” (But what if they say no?)

When do you ask? Morning of the date? When you plan the date?

 

[Bman]

foducossy42

Thanks. Mindset has been my biggest need of improvement. Combo of working through self worth, trauma, and typical nice guy behavior.

To your question: Ask in whatever way is congruent with the rest of the way you speak. I'm pretty sure Holden takes the direct approach.

I'll do it when its my check-in text the night before or morning of. So "Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. If you want to look cute for Daddy, I like skirts and dresses." It's dominant, but still leaves them the choice.

Funny enough, one of the hottest girls I've slept with last year preemptively asked me what to wear before the date. Such a doll.

I've only started doing it this year, so not really had one say no yet besides the one you pulled the quote from. Had a date a little while ago where she made the excuse she spilled something on the skirt so was not wearing it, then showed up in the least amount of effort getup she could muster. Was a big turn off right from the start.

If I'm seeing them on an ongoing basis, I always tell them what to wear, how to do their hair, ect. If they are really submissive, they'll love it.

 

[Foducossy]

To your question: Ask in whatever way is congruent with the rest of the way you speak. I'm pretty sure Holden takes the direct approach.

Simple but this is the way, yes. My way is usually gentle, a little commanding but with wiggle room (for me and her). Probably something like this:

“If you haven’t picked out your outfit… I like knee high boots and pretty earrings. Just saying ”

Yours is really good as well. I am saving both of these. My iOS keyboard shortcuts would give my mom a heart attack…

I guess I get in my head about “oh what if she’s going to work beforehand and she can’t wear date attire” or “what about the weather?”. So I like to give her the choice. Maybe over time as I get more abundance or by just trying this approach and realising girls are compliant, I will be more direct. Yes I could fake it till I make it, but I’d rather build up to it. Congruence is pretty important.

About that girl who spilled something on her skirt — lol, no other skirts?? How did that date go, did you end it quickly?

Fucking sickening when they put in no effort. I wear contacts. I do my brows, neaten my beard, shave the neck beard, style my hair. And then there’s my clothes. My profile pictures show my style. So I definitely deserve way better from girls and shouldn’t feel bad about demanding it.

And yeah — some girls are fucking great, they’ll ask you what to wear. Had one like that and it definitely makes a big difference that they are trying to impress you.

 

[Manly Cockfellow]

Thanks again, Bman, for making and sharing this Sex God yoga flow video:

https://youtu.be/9PYAy-3YBmE?si=-lqR0rO1R7CeDq7c

Just did it and my lower back is toast but feeling nice and relaxed at the same time, which tells me it's exactly what I needed!

And as usual, I'm extremely impressed by your progress creating a kick-ass social life (and sex life) that also benefits others.

Definitely something I can learn a lot from you and natedawg about, and do much better on.