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Brandon’s 365 Days of Masculine, Self-affirming Action: Days 278-283

Day 17

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations

I think it's funny writing these minimal days because I'm only recording actions taken directly towards this project. Really I did a lot today. But only affirmations I would count towards the project today.
 
Day 18

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • Went out for CA

My already rescheduled date cancelled again because she said she was not feeling good. Will try to ping her next week, but no making any bets. My other rescheduled date for tomorrow is tentative because she has also been sick this week. So going to guess that ones also a no go.

So decided to try out the mall this evening for cold approach since my date cancelled. That was pretty much a bust. Mostly couples doing last minute holiday shopping.
 
Day 19

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • Pushed to get date out
  • Was more assertive in the bedroom

Christmas eve lay (report coming soon) with 27yo from Feeld. Was little rusty with the date/escalation and not as laid back as usual. Then was a little in my head during sex. But was more assertive, telling her exactly what I wanted her to do, and making sure I was enjoying myself as well. But was a little rusty here as well since its been a little while. Cute girl though.
 
Day 20

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • Took myself out to see a movie (a favorite thing of mine) for Christmas
  • Got rid of the Christmas decorations, including the ones from the marriage
  • Got rid of the photos of my ex wife & I

Bman said:
I was not, however, able to get rid of the photos of my ex wife and I. So they still sit in a box in the closet. Maybe in another 6 mos they can go, but they weren't able to today.
Click to expand...

Not 6 months. Took 4 days.

Enjoyed a morning workout at my apartment's little gym since my regular gym is closed for the holiday. Then enjoyed my lunch and precooked my dinner to take with me to the movie theater. In the afternoon I rode the bus downtown and went and watched the new Avatar.

For whatever reason, after the movie I felt ready to deal with this today. Call me a masochist for dealing with it on Christmas day, but you can't hide your demons in a box in the closet.

Got home, pulled out the box which had both the photos and the Christmas ornaments.

Let's start with the ornaments, being that it's Christmas. I did not put up a tree this year, so I did not even use them. I plan on building out a van at the end of next year, so I wont be using them there either. Most importantly though, I've been trying to hold on to some semblance of a "normal" family Christmas forever. Truth is, I have not had that for 80% of my life. A few years I had something that could have been traditional holidays, a couple of those years being with my ex wifes loving family. Her mother even texted me Merry Christmas today. The rest of the years have been quite dysfunctional. I told my men's group that I was tired of pretending to be some happy family every year and needed to define what Christmas was for me, as I've done and continue to do with the rest of my life. I can't do that holding on to these items, including ornaments my ex wife and I made together or the ones created as guest gifts for our wedding.

Now to the pictures. I had a dozen or so pictures in picture frames that we had hung on the walls over the years. When we split this year I just put them in a box because it was too hard to have them out and looking at them. Similar reasoning as before, have not used them all year and won't be able to hang frames in a van.

So I painstakingly removed every picture from the frame, crying as I tried to get the damn little tabs on the back open, having flashbacks to every memory that was in the photographs. Almost all the photos I have the original digital copies of so that made it easier. However there were three small polaroids as well. One was even from Christmas a few years ago. I couldn't fucking get rid of them. So I put them with a few other photographs I have from childhood which don't really take up any space at all.

So from a box full of stuff to 3 small photos. Progress. Painstaking progress. You can't forge a new you in the present clinging on to memories of the past. Doesn't mean you forget them. But you don't need the mementos to remind who you are. You integrate them and then move forward with less baggage to carry.

Unfortunately, Goodwill is closed today. But the frames and ornaments are in bags ready to be dropped off tomorrow.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas filled with love and joy.
 
Day 21

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • Did HIIT cardio today

I'm a weightlifter and have been for almost a decade. I've intermittently done cardio here and there in the past. But as I start nearing 30, heart health will start to become more important. So I'm committing to doing it once a week in my training schedule even though I dislike it. It's good for my overall health. It's good for me.
 
Bman said:
Day 21

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • Did HIIT cardio today

I'm a weightlifter and have been for almost a decade. I've intermittently done cardio here and there in the past. But as I start nearing 30, heart health will start to become more important. So I'm committing to doing it once a week in my training schedule even though I dislike it. It's good for my overall health. It's good for me.
Click to expand...

I like Doug McGuff's perspective on this. There's no reason to perform additional aerobic or anaerobic activity when weightlifting is properly performed (intense, slow training to failure):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiHhc7eLpQY
 
pancakemouse said:
Bman said:
Day 21

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • Did HIIT cardio today

I'm a weightlifter and have been for almost a decade. I've intermittently done cardio here and there in the past. But as I start nearing 30, heart health will start to become more important. So I'm committing to doing it once a week in my training schedule even though I dislike it. It's good for my overall health. It's good for me.
Click to expand...

I like Doug McGuff's perspective on this. There's no reason to perform additional aerobic or anaerobic activity when weightlifting is properly performed (intense, slow training to failure):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiHhc7eLpQY
Click to expand...

The link between weightlifting and global metabolic conditioning is something I subscribe to. You are correct that doing cardio solely for the cardiovascular benefits may be a weak reason, given that I train intensely in weightlifting.

However, the benefits of endurance training for brain performance, increased V02max, oxygen uptake, and chance to practice sympathetic regulation with breathing are things I can't ignore.

Andrew Huberman reviewed good research on these aspects: https://podcastnotes.org/huberman-lab/episode-23-how-to-build-endurance-in-your-brain-body-huberman-lab/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQLU7gpk_X8

As Doug McGuff mentioned about the study at the end of video between steady state cardio vs sprints, you receive more benefits for oxygen uptake with the sprints. Which is why I chose to do HIIT. Specifically, I did tabata sets - 3-5 sets where one set equals doing 8 rounds of 20 sec sprint, 10 sec rest.

I also think that the average person should train their body to be athletic, adaptable to a wide variety of situations in life. No I'm not going to need to sprint all the time in my life, but it could occur where I need to do a short sprint to run after someone or away from something. This is also why I train bilaterally occasionally in my weightlifting, as everyday life has more bilateral movements than unilateral movements.

Additionally, I get mental conditioning as well. I don't enjoy doing cardio. So making myself do it once a week builds mental fortitude.

So, I believe the time to benefit ratio is worth me spending 20-25 minutes, once a week to do these.
 
Day 22

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • Met up with MilfandCookies
  • Men's Group
 
Day 23

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • Scheduled and did first day of 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • 0/2 cold approach

Skipped a few then approached cute tattooed girl who was waiting on a Lyft. Turns out she's a tattoo artist here. Had boyfriend though. Then was walking past a restaurant and an 8 was sitting alone at a table outside with only one water glass. Luckily I already did a situation like this before, so approached and asked if she was waiting on a date. She wasn't so I proceed to hit on her but she had a boyfriend back home. Shame. That girl had such a delicate touch, sent shivers down my spine.
 
Day 24

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon

Going to record these until it's a habit for me. I have meditated in the morning for 4-5 years now but never been consistent with an afternoon one. Meditation has served me greatly and I think doing another one in the afternoon will be of great benefit. Plus its only 10 minutes. I can set aside 10 minutes every afternoon for myself.

  • 1/3 cold approach

Was supposed to have a date today. Sent confirmation text. Ghosted.

Whatever. Let's go approach today.

It was cloudy out today so not as many girls roaming downtown. First girl was crossing the intersection so I met her at the corner and opened. She didn't stop so I just started walking with her. She didn't seem that interested and was busy running an errand. Said she had a boyfriend, but felt like she was just saying that.

Second was walking down the street in hurry as I was crossing the intersection so also met her at the corner. She also didn't stop, so walked with her. She immediately said she had a boyfriend after opening but said thank you.

Both of them were 6's so didn't feel that compelled to approach, but they were bangable so why not. Practice.

Maybe your vibe is off, B. I feel pretty positive though. You probably should have tried to actually stop them. Oh well, onward.

Then saw a really cute girl in a all black and a tube top with a sexy midriff walking towards me. No hesitation, direct front approach. Opened and she was really receptive. She's a bartender at one of the downtown restaurants and was on her way to pick up her check. So I walked with her, teased her, and was vibing well. Took her number when we reached the restaurant. She put in her first and last name and said "don't go stalking me now." Seemed like a good archetype match. From the outside, by the way we were both dressed and acting you would have thought we were already a couple.

Texted her when I got home...





See if it pans out.

-------

Question: What are ways to go about opening duos?

AskTheDom pancakemouse

I have only ever done it once. One girl was far more attractive than the other, so I opened the attractive one, then spoke with both of them, then asked for the attractive ones number.

However, when they are both attractive my brain can't decide, then I get anxious, and then I don't approach. My gut just says choose one. There was a couple duos today I could have approached, but I'm still intimidated by it.
 
Bman said:
Question: What are ways to go about opening duos?

@AskTheDom @pancakemouse

I have only ever done it once. One girl was far more attractive than the other, so I opened the attractive one, then spoke with both of them, then asked for the attractive ones number.

However, when they are both attractive my brain can't decide, then I get anxious, and then I don't approach. My gut just says choose one. There was a couple duos today I could have approached, but I'm still intimidated by it.
Click to expand...

This is not the answer you want, but: don't.

I have approached hundreds of girls with friends, and never got a single thing out of it.

The only point of doing it would be to "practice Game".
 
pancakemouse kinda pointed out a harsh truth about duo/trio sets - they are exponentially harder than solo girls.

Although I and few other people managed to pull a lay from them, the amount of effort for reward it's bad ( and DG yield is already in the single digits %)
The commonly agreed procedure is to open the friend saying "I just wanted to say" then looking at the girl you are interested "your friend is very cute" and then run the set as usual but dragging the friend in and out to also win her over so she will help you out potentially.

Again. If you see a girl that you find attractive, go for it totally, just keep expectations in check
 
Bman said:
Day 24

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon

Going to record these until it's a habit for me. I have meditated in the morning for 4-5 years now but never been consistent with an afternoon one. Meditation has served me greatly and I think doing another one in the afternoon will be of great benefit. Plus its only 10 minutes. I can set aside 10 minutes every afternoon for myself.

  • 1/3 cold approach

Was supposed to have a date today. Sent confirmation text. Ghosted.

Whatever. Let's go approach today.

It was cloudy out today so not as many girls roaming downtown. First girl was crossing the intersection so I met her at the corner and opened. She didn't stop so I just started walking with her. She didn't seem that interested and was busy running an errand. Said she had a boyfriend, but felt like she was just saying that.

Second was walking down the street in hurry as I was crossing the intersection so also met her at the corner. She also didn't stop, so walked with her. She immediately said she had a boyfriend after opening but said thank you.

Both of them were 6's so didn't feel that compelled to approach, but they were bangable so why not. Practice.

Maybe your vibe is off, B. I feel pretty positive though. You probably should have tried to actually stop them. Oh well, onward.

Then saw a really cute girl in a all black and a tube top with a sexy midriff walking towards me. No hesitation, direct front approach. Opened and she was really receptive. She's a bartender at one of the downtown restaurants and was on her way to pick up her check. So I walked with her, teased her, and was vibing well. Took her number when we reached the restaurant. She put in her first and last name and said "don't go stalking me now." Seemed like a good archetype match. From the outside, by the way we were both dressed and acting you would have thought we were already a couple.

Texted her when I got home...


321298680_8544844038890891_7195201971441834929_n.jpg


See if it pans out.

-------

Question: What are ways to go about opening duos?

@AskTheDom @pancakemouse

I have only ever done it once. One girl was far more attractive than the other, so I opened the attractive one, then spoke with both of them, then asked for the attractive ones number.

However, when they are both attractive my brain can't decide, then I get anxious, and then I don't approach. My gut just says choose one. There was a couple duos today I could have approached, but I'm still intimidated by it.
Click to expand...

Hehe that girl seems fun.

As for opening duos, I've done this a lot when I was really into approaching.

One line I got from Zan Perrion - go up to the one you're not hitting on "Hey, super important question - Has anyone told your friend she's gorgeous today?"

Usually I get a giggle and then "noooo"

"Oh well then [turns] you're gorgeous, I'm [name]" etc...

You're bringing in the friend on the fun, and since you talked to her first she gets some validation too, so she'll back you up and let you have her friend for a few moments.
 
I will give AskTheDom's and MILFandCookies's approach a try next time just to face whatever fear I have of duos but will keep my expectations in check. If after doing it a few times I find myself not enjoying duo sets, I'll keep pancakemouse's advice in mind.

Thank you guys.
 
Day 25

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • Picked up consulting client on the side; asked for upper range of their budget

I don't seek out consulting clients because I'm focused on building my startup, but this is someone I have networked with over the last year and is also an education founder. I'll be helping them with website design and development, marketing, copywriting, and building out their education products. Asked for the upper range of their budget but not the full budget because they have larger developments they will need help with later in the year so I'm establishing a good relationship while getting the maximum payment. Invoice was sent right after the call and paid immediately. Money in the bank 2 hours before my date.

  • Date, Lay, and very dominant sex

Will post the lay report in the morning. First lay from FetLife with a new submissive who was eager to dive in and scared of having a bad experience with a shitty Dom. Her words after... "God. Thank you sooo much. 10/10" Made me laugh.

Also, the girl from the cold approach in the last post seems pretty keen. Was pretty receptive texting today. She was hungover from last night and had to work this afternoon/evening. So got the Fet girl out instead.
 
Day 26

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • 0/1 Cold Approach

Didn't really feel like going out for CA today. But I always say that before I actually go, then I get out there and I'm glad I did. So did it anyways. However I knew I wanted to avoid 6th street or anywhere near there because it's NYE. Most likely any girl I approached there was going out to party. Being that I don't drink, I don't enjoy being around drunk people, and go to bed rather early, I would not vibe well with girls who are going to invite me to come hang with them and their friends. So stayed on closer to 2nd.

Volume was really low so I only encountered one beautiful tall blonde in a black dress and red lipstick. She was standing on the corner looking everywhere like she was lost. Initially skipped her and then turned around because she was too hot to have anxiety over. Opened and teased her about looking lost. She was waiting on friends who she was going out partying with later. We chatted a bit, found out she's from out of town. Then her friends called and I felt weird standing there while she was on the phone. They pulled up and she started walking to go to the car saying it was nice meeting me. Didn't stop her to ask for the number, being she was from out of town and I was not going out to party. Walked around for another 10 minutes or so and called it quits after that.
 
Bman said:
However I knew I wanted to avoid 6th street or anywhere near there because it's NYE
Click to expand...
damn i was literally inside the jackalope for NYE 2021->2022 frantically trying to find someone to get a new year's kiss with but it didn't happen

happy new year man
 
Day 27

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • Enjoyed my last day of vacation

Sundays are my rest days with no work and no girls. It subsequently is the last day of the vacation I allotted myself for the end of the year. Well needed. However I'm ready to get back to it.

--‐-----‐-------------------------------------------------

colgate said:
damn i was literally inside the jackalope for NYE 2021->2022 frantically trying to find someone to get a new year's kiss with but it didn't happen

happy new year man
Click to expand...

Doing night game with you would probably be hilarious and the only time I would actuallu want to do it.

Happy new year!
 
Day 28

Actions taken:

  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • Expressed my boundaries and led situation with Ad Girl

Did my morning routine and even got some reading in before work. Crushed work today, getting right back into the grind. Worked out in the middle of the day which breaks up my work blocks. Felt very productive all day. Finished up work, picked up the apartment a bit, and had Ad Girl come over gave her another great kinky experience. Was very in the moment and connected with what was going to feel great for both of us. Broke a wooden spatula on her ass tonight. She said it was her favorite part. Made it clear though when to come over, when she'd need to be gone so I could sleep, and couple hard limits I have in BDSM.

Exactly how I like to spend my days. Work hard, play hard, fuck harder.

Also...
Red said:
Then 1 hour before sex I am taking
10g of L-Citruline
1-2g of salt
I am also using condoms.
And jelqing before sex seems to help cos I get more desensitized.
Click to expand...

Thanks Red. Finally remembered to actually do this today. I also had some beetroot powder as well. Fucked like an iron horse for an hour.
 
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