Brandon Builds - Conversation with the ex-wife

[Bman]

Because I don't like unsubstantial claims, here are the receipts I woke up to this morning.



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The blonde girl is one I noticed, who was wearing a lingerie teddy as a top and jeans as a bottom, but we did not even interact yesterday.

Never have I had so many women fawn so quickly in one sitting before. And to think, one year ago I came to this exact munch and was a nervous nelly. Wild.

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That's when I understood what having standards means, to start with what do you want not just from you but also from other people.

I was just telling one of the men in men's group that I already have beauty and pussy in my life, and feel confident I can get more even if things evaporated this instance. So I really want to see what more these women can bring to add value to my life.

Keep up working hard on your value, events and network, and your girl's steam will become a fast river.

Absolutely. I don't want to forget the habits that helped me get here. Although it will suck the first time, I think moving cities as I travel will be beneficial. I won't be starting from complete 0 in each city, but it will keep me humble to have to rebuild and add to an expanding network. I know this is also somewhat ephemeral and dry times will come again. I'm doing my best to take mental stock of how this feels so I can remember what it's like and can build again. With most skills, I gain a lot of confidence knowing that if I've done it once, I can do it again.

Take breaks to be alone to recharge your soul into nature and energy or the risk of burnout from pussy is real ( I know it sounds crazy to talk about something like this but trust me, it is real.)

The Wise Dom, sounding like Marcus Aurelius. Today I'll be spending some time in solitude working with my hands, doing some woodworking for the van before my date tonight. As an introvert, this hits home even more and alone time for me is much needed.

Also focus on your health and sexual health.

Health is a pretty high value for me and I try to stay on top of it. Another reason I decided to not pull last night, it was already late and sleep is pretty important to me.

Seriously appreciate the advice AskTheDom. Knowing you're a decade ahead of me helps me see the path for I could be when I reach the same age.

 

[Holden]

Love to see it. The social proof/preselection stuff is really the next level. Unless you're a 10/10 male model you'd never otherwise get a girl cold DM'ing you "hey I noticed you, want to grab a drink?"

Looking forward to see how it evolves and more importantly how you're going to systematize it so it becomes a repeatable process. I'm trying to figure out the same thing.

 

[Bman]

Looking forward to see how it evolves and more importantly how you're going to systematize it so it becomes a repeatable process. I'm trying to figure out the same thing.

Thanks, man. Seriously a whole different feeling.

I'm intrigued to see how your travels go. Plus it seems you have a leg up in doing this in a professional setting, something I've yet to do. Hoping to link up in Seattle with natedawg next year when I'm there and compare notes on social circles. By then he should be well into being a Black Mamba.

 

[natedawg]

Bman You're killing it as always, my friend. Learning a lot from you.

 

[AskTheDom]

Knowing you're a decade ahead of me helps me see the path for I could be when I reach the same age.

Man, reading you brings me back to the golden days, the crazy sex parties, the degeneracy and that feeling of “Who knows why crazy thing will happen tonight”

Anytime you need, just let me know, it’s such a pleasure to read your progress and stories

 

[AskTheDom]

The social proof/preselection stuff is really the next level. Unless you're a 10/10 male model you'd never otherwise get a girl cold DM'ing you "hey I noticed you, want to grab a drink?"

Yup, people calling me a game denier because I said that
Having game is important, being in shape is important, but like preselection and status, good luck

 

[Bman]

Date last night with another recently divorced, sexually liberated 40yo blonde ex-track star from Feeld. I'd stop paying for the membership, but still matched with her. She said explicitly upfront she doesn't sleep with people on the first date. Found out later on the date when I probed that she has some major hangups with the idea of being murdered by a weirdo from the internet. Aside from that, decent date. I'm up for a second.

Rope Bunny and I are on for Tuesday. I was going to have her come to my place, but she lives in one of the smaller towns 30mins outside the city and insisted I come down there this time. Which is reasonable being that I the last two that we seen each other, she drove up here. Downside was I was ready to pull this time. Was a good experiment for myself and in the future will probably do 2 dates max, pulling on the second. Anyways, now logistics is unclear with her place but I'll figure it out and see how that turns out.

Scheduling the two leads from the munch on Friday, the blonde from NY and the ex-Pro Domme for NY.

Shrine is also next Sunday. I'd not texted OF Girl in a few months, so had texted her on Friday just to gauge we were on friendly terms still. She was being very endearing, probably because I'd not given her any attention. I know, I know, I'm making sure not to let myself get psychologically captured. She is great pre selection while I'm at Shrine though, she conveniently keeps me updated to internal politics of the other groups or major people in the scene here, and we vibe well when we're together which always makes for a pleasant evening. I'll most likely be taking Politics Girl with me next Sunday, so just starting to mix myself some pre-selection soup for the evening.

 

[Slickbackkhair]

Call me Machiavellian, but becoming a leader in a community and leveraging girls to get other girls interested in you is the juice

Reminds me of Yohami's top guy ideas. I wouldn't even label it as Machiavellian.

At some point in every man's life, I see it as a natural development to want to run the show.

 

[AskTheDom]

and we vibe well when we're together which always makes for a pleasant evening

You need to keep your P in your pants with her, and you know why?

going back I wish I "gamed" them into the "we might fuck so i'll be giving you more work and energy than a friend but it's not clear to me so i'm not pushing it" zone

When you have a stunner that wants validation and attention from you by doing things for you, crazy things happen.

The dividends that having hot girls in your life that are in your "normal" life pay are inhumane, trust me on that.

 

[Bman]

Had my actual second date with Rope Bunny yesterday. Despite heading down to her town outside the city, I had full intentions of pulling. Her place was out of the question, as she has a house and kid with her ex, and because of that still live together at the moment. My place was going to be a 30 min drive. Checked the bathrooms when I got there, a maybe. Figured best bet was her car or heading to near by park. The van is almost done, but still looks like a construction site at the moment.

Regardless, we had a great date at a bar with outside firepits. Sat next to the fire. She's a lawyer for a tech company and well educated, so it was pleasant to have intellectual conversations with her in between talking a lot about relationships and sex with some making out and petting. I do enjoy her lady in streets, slut in the streets demeanor. We also talked a lot about the dating market and it was clear that both of us had a lot of experience and a lot of options, including other dates we had been on in the last few days. She kept hammering away that is was hard to find guys who were ambitious, attractive, non-monogamous, and not entirely vanilla, and turning a lot of guys down. I just asked her directly where she would like to go from here. She said she'd like to come straight to my place next time (which I tried to have her do this time). She thanked me for my directness and said she could tell from my eyes what I wanted. Figured I'd rather have great sex for a couple hours over a quickie in the car, so just enjoyed the rest of the date. Unless a big dick, alpha chad rolls in out of nowhere, she's not going anywhere. Before heading home though I made out heavily with her while pinning her against her car where I started getting an erection and she was moaning softly. I think it should be some good sex later.

I really enjoyed this multiple date experiment. Not that I think there is anything wrong pulling on the first date, I've done that plenty. I just wanted to see what it felt like for me so I can setup my own heuristics. I may be coming to my own rule of : If I have a harem of consistent sex, do two dates, unless I have the biological tug to fuck her then or I know for a fact its a ONS such a traveling girl. Holden, you've said you used to operate on 2 dates as the norm, curious what you've enjoyed best or why move towards one date/ straight to your place with no date?

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Had my munch yesterday. There is a girl ,who has a cute face but not much else for me, who is living nomadically right now. She's only in ATX for a few weeks. After meeting her at a different munch, she tried matching with me on Feeld, has been coming to munch consistently, and tried flirting with me last Shrine. She's found a temporary play partner while here and has brought him to the munch. It was hilarious because the group was giving them a hard time about how cute they looked together and asking if they were enjoying their time together. Meanwhile she is consistently staring at me. Can you all not see her eye fucking me, right now? Those two are toast. Anyways, she asked if I'll be at Shrine on Sunday and said she'll be leaving the following week. Add me one more for pre-selection for the night.

 

[Holden]

@Holden, you've said you used to operate on 2 dates as the norm, curious what you've enjoyed best or why move towards one date/ straight to your place with no date?

When I say I did two dates, I mean the following specific scenario:

1) coffee during the day for an hour max
2) second date straight to my place

At the time I was matching with more girls who lived close by for whom meeting me quickly for coffee was not a big ask. Lately I don't seem to match these girls anymore, possibly due to me exhausting the available pool of women, or changing attitudes of the girls themselves (I think a few years ago during the covid era, the girls were starved for attention and faster said yes to things like that) and just less girls on the apps in general.

Come to think of, I think there are less girls on the apps because of covid. They're sick of doing things online and meet guys irl. Makes sense to me.

Nowadays I don't do the coffee date anymore for the simple reason that most new girls I date, live 20+ minutes away. They're not going to have a quick coffee. So I text a bit more, more voice notes, let them simmer in my IG funnel for a bit longer, then meet them for a (first) drinks date, or straight to my place.

I actually wasted less time by quickly inviting girls for coffee and if they acted difficult I just screened them out. Paradoxically it saves time to go on more 1 hour dates than keep texting 20 girls at the time.

So I liked that aspect of it. Plus I weeded out a few catfishes this way whom I didn't invite for a second date obviously.

Plus doing the 1 hour coffee thing raises the success rate for the second date. They're more likely to clear their schedule for you if they already met your irl and liked you, as opposed to being just another photograph on her phone screen.

If I kept matching with girls who lived 5 mins away, then I would still do the 2-dates thing.

 

[Manly Cockfellow]

Also started the Ideal Parent Figure Protocol on Sunday. First time I did it I burst into tears, big alligator tears, halfway through. The rewiring continues.

Thanks for this reminder and for the reddit link!

I've been doing IFS therapy for the last month or two, but kept feeling stuck and like something was holding me back...

This video perfectly explained the problem:
https://youtu.be/csSLn6NjRdo?si=ABRwkvdRD_2Oqb-Q

And I found it through the subreddit you linked:
https://www.reddit.com/r/idealparentfigures/

Never in a million years would have found it without the link, so thanks a ton Bman!

Time to do some more ideal parents work myself.

Good luck with healing your attachment!

 

[Bman]

Good luck with healing your attachment!

I've been doing it everyday since then. I noticed many of my images have been getting physical touch/ being held and then being seen by the Ideal Parents, expressing their delight.

I noticed a bit of a shift already. Normally after sex I give my girls soft taking touches as we cuddle, running just one finger ever so slightly over their skin, as if you are pulling your finger away but never losing contact. I have yet to meet a woman who does not love this. Anyways, this last Sunday, Politics Girl decided she wanted to do it to me on my back. I could feel myself wanting to pull away, rather than just enjoy it, but I sat with it and breathed through the touches. It's seems trivial, but its the meaning behind the touch, which is that of care for the other person with no expectation in return.

I can also recognize why I absolutely love when a girl and I can get locked into a bubble with undivided attention with each other. We're just constantly expressing our delight for being with the other person in that moment.

I think it will be some powerful work as it compounds doing it everyday.

Hope yours is just as fruitful, Manly Cockfellow.

 

[Bman]

#30 - Rope Bunny

How we met: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=66310#p66310
Date 1: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=67392#p67392
Her helping me get other leads: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=67491#p67491
Date 2: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=67648#p67648

Not much to report. It was a straight to my place after the numerous touch points above. Had her over yesterday for 4 hours. She's a bit of a sensualist, likes to take things slow with lots of teasing each other and feeling/kissing every inch of each others bodies. She's also incredibly sweet and endearing in the bedroom. Feel confident she'll be a regular in the harem, though I stopped trying to predict this with girls.

----

Shrine is this evening. Politics Girls is coming with me. She even went and bought new nipple jewelry to show off on her perky tits for the evening. I'll be sporting my full white suit with the wide brim fedora, and of course Politics Girl on my arm. Guaranteed to stand out.

Second date with the 40yo blonde on Tuesday.

First dates with the two kinky NY girls on Wednesday and Thursday.

Hope you all have an excellent Sunday.

 

[Bman]

#31 - NY Blonde

One of the leads I got from the munch who opened me afterwards and asked immediately to get drinks.

26, blonde, small tats and piercings, lived in NYC for 8 years before moving to ATX. She actually is headed to LA, but decided to stop and live here for awhile.

Definitely a status + looks pull, so not much game was needed above showing up and having intention.

Had date at the coffee bar. When we went to sit, she was going to sit on my side, then started to go to the other, and I told her to sit next to me, it wasn't an interview. She said it wasn't sure if it was weird to sit on the same side. Nah girl, chill, let me handle this.

Typical convo escalation from normie connection stuff to sex/kink. She was pretty good at banter, not really a comfort girl, so I teased her quite a bit which brought a lot of laughs between us.

She's the first east coast girl I've been with, so drilled her a bit about the scene in NY. Told her that I'm much more a west coast vibe and when I visited NYC & Chicago briefly they did not seem as chill. She told that me I should definitely go back.

I was feeling pretty horny yesterday for whatever reason, so had decided before going on the date that if I was attracted enough to have sex I was pulling home. Part way in the date I felt myself staring at her lips and chest and could feel the urge, so decided I would take her home.

I commented on her rings and rubbed her hands. Then we spoke some about tattoos, and I rubbed her arms as we explored them. Conversation naturally slowed down so I rubbed her leg and told her my place was close if she'd like to head back. No hesitation.

Sex was alright. After having got used to smaller and tight midriff girls, I'm getting jaded and she was a little curvier than I'd like. She was aggressive with the bj, like she's trying to be in porno or something. She was cute enough to bring home, I was horny, but didn't feel like making it a sexual extravaganza, so I kept it short. She was a bit uncomfortable just being silent and holding eye contact to cuddle.

We chatted some more and had talked about piercings, because she has several ear ones and two nose ones. She said it would be really hot if I had a nose stud or one ear pierced. I don't really have an interest in piercings, but it was interesting to hear. I wear magnet backed earrings sometimes.

Afterwards she got an uber and was on her way. Fun girl for a night, but not one I want to keep seeing. I'll shoot her the "I had fun but don't want to go further" text later.

----

Was supposed to have a date today with the other NYC girl who was also a lead from the munch. She was clearly interested during our chat at the munch and in text later. High confidence she would have also closed. However I decided to cancel because it was an early morning coffee date and I really would like to use that time to get work done. The van engine had an unfortold failure and I need an entire engine swap. Yes you read that right, I need a new engine. Not a big deal, I have the budget to cover that. However, I'm going to pick a couple clients to cover the cost rather than eat into my budget. Already have a sales call Friday. She also works evenings, so logistics long term would probably be slim. I was looking forward to getting her take on the NYC scene as well, as both these girls showed a lot of interest towards me. Extremely small sample size to tell anything, but maybe me worth visiting sometime in the future if my archetype has some pull there.

 

[Holden]

After having got used to smaller and tight midriff girls, I'm getting jaded and she was a little curvier than I'd like.

Welcome to the club, there's no way back.

I'm happy you pulled off a classic status lay.

From what you've written here, the girl sounds kinda insecure. Asking if it's weird to sit next to you, the porn BJ and uncomfortable holding eye contact. If you kept her around she'd probably open up and improve in the bedroom.

 

[Bman]

From what you've written here, the girl sounds kinda insecure. Asking if it's weird to sit next to you, the porn BJ and uncomfortable holding eye contact. If you kept her around she'd probably open up and improve in the bedroom.

You're probably right. However, I don't see myself prioritizing her over my other three girls already, two of which are already trained for what I like.

What I will do though is tell her I don't want to pursue being partners, but happy to play if we're at a play party together. I've done that with a couple other girls in the past which resulted in a nice status boost when they were both at the same party I was and both approached me to play that evening. Doesn't hurt to have another like that.

 

[Bman]

Today's my munch so I usually get some people reaching out about it or I'm proactively reaching out to people.

Girl messaged me and was intrigued by my profile. She's average, so I just went the friendly leader route rather sexualizing and escalating the conversation to get her number.

Then she asked if I mentored new submissives... and in the spirit of Holden reminding us all to just ask for things (thanks for the reminder), I thought "I wonder if she'd pay me for this?"





The answer is yes, she will pay me for this.

In my journey so far I've learned that my attention, specifically a masculine presence, is very valuable to women. I've learned that you can flip the script and be the "hot girl" that everyone wants.

She'll be attending my munch this evening, and then we'll have our first coaching session later this week. Nothing sexual, just helping her explore her desires, boundaries, shame, what kind of sub she might like to be, and how to communicate that to others. Stuff I do with my girls anyways.

I don't really have plans to become a Pro Dom, but I'm not leaving it out of the picture either. Just more status and social proof, especially since I'll have her leave a review on FetLife afterwards.

We'll see how it pans out.

Just remember, you're a valuable man.

 

[Zug]

Today's my munch so I usually get some people reaching out about it or I'm proactively reaching out to people.

Girl messaged me and was intrigued by my profile. She's average, so I just went the friendly leader route rather sexualizing and escalating the conversation to get her number.

Then she asked if I mentored new submissives... and in the spirit of Holden reminding us all to just ask for things (thanks for the reminder), I thought "I wonder if she'd pay me for this?"


fetl.PNG


The answer is yes, she will pay me for this.

In my journey so far I've learned that my attention, specifically a masculine presence, is very valuable to women. I've learned that you can flip the script and be the "hot girl" that everyone wants.

She'll be attending my munch this evening, and then we'll have our first coaching session later this week. Nothing sexual, just helping her explore her desires, boundaries, shame, what kind of sub she might like to be, and how to communicate that to others. Stuff I do with my girls anyways.

I don't really have plans to become a Pro Dom, but I'm not leaving it out of the picture either. Just more status and social proof, especially since I'll have her leave a review on FetLife afterwards.

We'll see how it pans out.

Just remember, you're a valuable man.

Funny anecdote, I have noticed some of the ugliest dudes alive who are pro shibari riggers pull some of the sexiest women I've ever seen. Its a crazy niche skill and if a girl is into it you're in. I'm constantly in awe of how far past their SMV they can go.

 

[Bman]

Just wanted to drop in today to say Happy Thanksgiving. Even for those outside the U.S.

I'm grateful for each of you. You all inspire me to show up and be a better man everyday.

I spent the last four hours this morning volunteering to hand out meals to the homeless. No matter your situation right now, it could be much worse. Have some gratitude for all that has been given to you or you have worked hard to achieve.

Much love to you, your families and loved ones.