Lesson in Tantra
Before we get to the date report, let's have quick lesson in Tantra.
In Tantra there is the concept of "energy". I'm here to tell you right now that energy as a concept is bullshit.
Tantra as a spiritual tradition started by culminating scriptures and practices from many different tribes in Southeast Asia and would become the precursor to Hinduism and Buddhism. If you have ever heard Jordan Peterson discuss the Mesopotamian religions and Marduk, its very similar culmination of tribal beliefs.
Like most ancient traditions that did not have an understanding of biological processes in the body, Tantra's "energy" is not a literal thing but points to a real biological experience.
The practice of Qi-Gong is meant to restore and move "energy" throughout the body. In reality, the practices have you breathe deeply, which hyper-oxygenates the blood, and move the body around, encouraging blood flow of that oxygenated blood. This gets blood to places that naturally need restoration and brings more oxygen to the brain, making you feel more alertness and arousal.
What most people practice when they say they do Tantra is actually more accurately described as Neo-Tantra. Most don't even know where Tantra came from or that is has religious tradition, because most people are not fucking intellectual nerds like me and care. At the
foundation of Neo-Tantra, when you strip out all the spiritual stuff, are biological components which produce real responses between you and your partner. These practices include using a combination of breath, eye contact, and touch which will work together to pull levers in your brain.
Now there is an experience which is often referred to as an energy orgasm. Again, energy is bullshit. But if we understand that an orgasm creates a neurological response and breath, eye contact, and touch can all create neurological responses, then in theory we may be able to simulate a similar experience.
None of you have probably done this so let me give you the closest experiences to it.
Think about the experience of cuddling, skin to skin and how you feel. That warm, fuzzy, floating feeling you get.
Now, think about the experience of holding eye contact with a girl for a really long time. That tension and antsy feeling get.
Now, there is a practice called holotropic breathwork, which is like deep breathing for 15-60 mins, and it's supposedly like doing DMT. I've never done DMT. I have done holotropic breathwork. But maybe some of you have at least done Wim Hof breathing (which is actually a form of tummo breathing). Think about that feeling of having super oxygenated blood flowing through your body, being hyper aware but calm and in tune with your body.
Now smash all those together and you're getting what I can only conceptualize as an energy orgasm. I don't really know. I don't have an MRI machine in my fucking bedroom.
Ok, so when I do Neo-tantra with a partner, I'm using all those elements as part of foreplay. Sometimes I do it in combination with another act, like deep eye contact while fingering her or edging her to orgasm and then stopping, making her breathe deeply several times and feel her entire body. Sometimes I do the entire ensemble together in the Yab Yum pose, touch, eye contact, and synced deep breathing, before getting to further foreplay. Why? Because it brings her deeply into her body, quiets her mind, and puts her in sync with me and my commands, all of which makes it significant easier for her to have multiple and blended orgasms.
When the girl is predominantly sexual or sensual, such as my Spiritual Girl, Bumble Girl, and Politics Girl, it puts them really in tune with their body and the sex feels fucking amazing.
When the girl is predominantly "energetic", like Tantra Girl or Psychadelic Girl (to some extent) in my logs, they really want the "energy" orgasm more than actual sexual touch and penetration. Some don't even want penetration at all. If the girl is hardcore into Tantra, I can almost guarantee this is what she wants. I don't do that. I also want to have intercourse and when I use Tantra it is sexual based.
Alright, with that preamble, lets talk about this date.
---
Date w/ Blonde Energetic Dancer - No Pull
Twas this girl.
Bman said:
Saturday I have a date with a skinny blonde dancer (who I would later learn is also a stripper) who I connected with on Feeld three weeks ago. She was overly excited about matching with me, which I playfully teased her a little about. As typical, I tried scheduling the date soon, but her parents were coming into town for two weeks and she would not be able to go on a date till after her schedule freed up. I pushed a little basically saying it might be nice to get a break from the parents and come out but that didn't work out. She said she would text me after the couple weeks. Figured it was dead in the water and moved on. Then she texted on Tuesday night asking if I was still up for meeting. So I shot over some times and it was easy as that. No chit chat, just logistics. I'm a little curious as to what made her so eager and interested enough to take her own initiative to reach back out.
Sent her a checkin text last night. She immediately texted me back saying she was looking forward to seeing me too. She said she was feeling quite curious about me. I still didn't understand why this girl was soooo intrigued already.
Before the date she even texted when she was leaving her house and on her way, which in my experiences, girls rarely do.
When she showed up we hugged and she gave a tight, long squeeze, like we had not seen each other in a really long time. After we released, we were still very close to each. We could have practically kissed each other right then and there. I then grabbed my drink and went to take her inside so she could get one. Inside we were still standing extremely close to each other in line.
Oh this is a done fucking deal. Feels like a 15 min pull is coming.
Went to sit down, she first goes to sit on the other side, and I tell her to come to mine, its not an interview. She ate that up.
We start chatting, legs already grazing each other periodically. Heavy eye contact. She moves the conversation slightly towards sex within about 5 minutes. So I pick it up, finding out some history, what she's done, and so on.
Then she casually drops she's been practicing celibacy for a couple years...
Screeeech! Wait...
Obviously I prod more to find out why I'm on this date right now.
She basically did it after getting divorced from a seven year marriage to find herself, create a secure attachment for herself, and not need another person. But she said she's opening up more now and exploring the tantra scene and BDSM scene, has a couple partners, and been going to play parties.
Ah, but your boy knows that there are a subset of people in these scenes that do kink only or just energetic play, and there is no sexual aspect. I also know that, especially some of the people who practice tantra have purely energetic partners. So all of what she just said could be misleading.
So I continue the conversation. It maneuvers around and it turns out we really click on a lot of other stuff, world views, experiences, and so, and I'm enjoying conversing with her. But I'm not here for chit chat. So lets get to the bottom of this. I asked her what she's looking for now and exploring. She says Tantra.
Fuck. She's an energetic girl, B.
We talk a little more. I can't remember what I said or asked, but basically confirmed with her if she was still being celibate or what the deal was, which she was and mentions that if she were to start sharing sexual space with someone she'd need to feel safe. Also, nothing in her profile eluded to the fact she was celibate. Energetic, but not celibate.
By the way, our body language has still been building sexual tension this entire time, but at this point I'm starting to pull back.
Well now I really want to know why she was so eager to meet me. So I ask. She said she's never got to experience someone dominant and into tantra. She also said I seemed really experienced and that with her other two partners she is the more experienced one and is having to lead the interactions but wants that masculine order from someone else. Which I show her I understand what she means by telling her she never actually gets to be fully feminine and sink into that submissive energy. She enthusiastically agrees. She also acknowledged that she really appreciated the questions I was asking during this entire conversation because it was leading her to so easily talk about it and express herself.
So now I'm not fully present in the conversation as much because I'm sitting in my head deciding if I want to pull, which I know I can absolutely do, and then spend a long time escalating back home. It probably would have been a steamy build up and building a safe container, but then dealing with the resistance of breaking her celibacy, and she was only going to want some energetic thing. That really did not sound like fun to me. If I were not leaving in a couple weeks and already have a packed schedule, I might have been more inclined because if we did not have sex today, I could have probably opened her up to it the future. No time for that. However, we are really vibing and the sexual tension is there.
I don't pull. I stay in the date, not fully engaged, but there. Eventually our conversation dies down and she asks me what I'm doing the rest of the day. So I just get direct. I tell her I was going to invite her back to mine, but I'm looking for a sexual connection and sounds like she's not. She affirms. I explain how I like to do tantra, which includes sexual touch. She tells me how grateful she is letting her know that. We talk a little more briefly about sex. Then I tell her I think really vibed and maybe in another time when she is more open (ahem... having sex) we'd have a great connection. She enthusiastically agrees. We give each other a big hug and part ways.
It was an enjoyable date. She's a dope girl. Just got cucked by my own archetype. Oh well.
