Chronicles of Ascent: Path Towards Greatness

[Self Improver]

Had an interesting conversation with my uber driver. Said he would go to Brazil for months to cold approach and fuck lol. Said that he would wait for a girl to give him a smile then he would approach her, tell her that she's pretty and take her for dinner. Said that they were taken aback at first but then he will follow it up by asking them to teach him Portuguese while on the date. Said that sex in basically guaranteed after/before the dinner and that if they didn't have chemistry, the girl usually referred him to her friends. This is ridiculous, imagine this happening in New York.
Asked him how did he approached before learning Portuguese from these girls, said he would go to places called 'terma' which are like prostitution hubs in brazil and pay 50$ to bang. They spoke some english so he learnt Portuguese from them.
He told me that he stayed for so long that his visa expired after 90 days and he had to leave to the Dominican republic before coming back. He saw this gorgeous girl sitting with a bunch of 6'3 guys and a few girls, so he waited for her to leave the group and asked her for her number. The girl shows up on the first date with a man and a women. The guy was her uncle and he carried a gun, the women was her mom. Apparently they were worried about the girl's safety and they stayed with them for the whole first date. The girl is now his wife and he convinced her to move to California with him after a few months.
This story is crazy. The guy isn't even good looking, he's like a 5'7 average guy. I don't think he's fucking with me but I'm not sure. He asked me to tip him and after these crazy stories, I did.


I have a lot of sugar cravings at the moment and I blame my mirtazapine. I think I will start my withdraw when I come back to NYC. I have a new diet to follow but I can't resist the cravings lol. Stopping this will take me 1.5-2 months so might as well get it started

LMAO

Dude when you get deep into this shit you learn there are guys like this, they're called "naturals"

Ralph is a guy like this. Grew up with the right parenting, wealthy, huge freedom, endless support - gives you natural Inner Game

It's only the guys like us, from a lot of turmoil. who would be in disbelief about the above

Frankly, that is what SHOULD be happening for a man with a solid core. Spend enough time around properly advanced guys, and you see how women treat them vs you.

You're now getting around the higher end guys, so you'll see it a lot....lol....And know that one day, ONE DAY....it will be you.

Even my brown ass has seen it a few times for myself.

Sunday, me and you will have our monthly catchup.

-R

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Doing so well!

We will do a call, this weekend. Sunday if possible. Let's make it a 3-4hr Inner Game call also.

We'll do your date audio review first, and then we can both dive deep on our Inner Game. You can go first.

Love you. Wil send you what I owe for the NYC trip. Thanks for being patient, jet lag cuck has been rather nuts.

-Ravi

Love you too brother, we all need some time to recover sometime, I've been in this position before.

I'm down to meet on Sunday for the full 3-4hours. Would be a very productive call for the both of us.

I had a bad inner game day yesterday, will post about it soon

Dude when you get deep into this shit you learn there are guys like this, they're called "naturals"

You're now getting around the higher end guys, so you'll see it a lot....lol....And know that one day, ONE DAY....it will be you.

It boggles my mind what is possible. One day I will get closer to you and the higher end guys' skills, get a good relationship and move on to other goals.

Success is our destiny

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Tuesday 19th November:
(1) Work

• Fix scribe host profiles
• Rollout KML & BPF

(2) Inner work:

• Meditation 15min
• "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:

• Swipe on hinge

(4) Health:

• Good diet
• Good Hydration
• Wake up early and get light exposure

(5) Other:

• Find a poster for the 48 laws of power
• Listen to the laws of human nature
• Looking for some colored contact lenses. May help with day game

I've fallen behind my daily posts because of work and traveling. I am now finally back to NYC and am on the grind again. I got a bit of insomnia last night because of timezone difference and traveling during the whole day.
The rule for jetlag is 1-2 days of recovery per hour of timezone difference so I should be back to 100% in a few days.

This week was full of inner game problems. I am not sure why that is, I thought I dealt with my sense of unworthiness but it come back in full force. I had a session with my therapist and told him that I need to find a way to get this feeling under control. It was leading to feeling overwhelmed and procrastinating.
Talking about it released a lot of the emotions. A few days later, I spoke to a close friend about it which also helped a lot.
I am not sure why these emotions are coming up. Am I actually making progress towards solving them or just spinning my wheels? Not sure

Like I promised Kai, I've been sticking to my cardio. Yesterday I went too hard and that made me tired for a lot of the day. I should have taken it easier, I now remember that Kai told me not to go too hard and maintain a conversation pace workout so I will need to pull back. On the flip side, it has been amazing for my mood so I look forward to it now.

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Friday 22nd November:
(1) Work

• Release token bucket change
• Talk to NTD

(2) Inner work:

• Meditation 15min
• "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:

• Swipe on hinge
• Text leads

(4) Health:

• Good diet
• Good Hydration
• Wake up early and get light exposure
• Meeting with Kai

(5) Other:

• Find a poster for the 48 laws of power
• Listen to the laws of human nature
• Looking for some colored contact lenses. May help with day game

 

[Self Improver]

I've fallen behind my daily posts because of work and traveling. I am now finally back to NYC and am on the grind again. I got a bit of insomnia last night because of timezone difference and traveling during the whole day.
The rule for jetlag is 1-2 days of recovery per hour of timezone difference so I should be back to 100% in a few days.

This week was full of inner game problems. I am not sure why that is, I thought I dealt with my sense of unworthiness but it come back in full force. I had a session with my therapist and told him that I need to find a way to get this feeling under control. It was leading to feeling overwhelmed and procrastinating.
Talking about it released a lot of the emotions. A few days later, I spoke to a close friend about it which also helped a lot.
I am not sure why these emotions are coming up. Am I actually making progress towards solving them or just spinning my wheels? Not sure

Like I promised Kai, I've been sticking to my cardio. Yesterday I went too hard and that made me tired for a lot of the day. I should have taken it easier, I now remember that Kai told me not to go too hard and maintain a conversation pace workout so I will need to pull back. On the flip side, it has been amazing for my mood so I look forward to it now.

It is normal to get out of sync and out of flow

The trap guys fall into is, Oh NO I've FaLlEn OfF!1!!\

...No

Self-improvement, is complex, and it's ups and downs.

I myself am working through jet lag and all manner of other things. Performance, returns, and then you get long stretches of focus.

It comes. Believe me.

Success IS INEVITABLE

Feelings of unworthiness, are because of your deep wound. We're going to keep doing the work on wound reduction. You are not to blame for your wounds, and it didn't start with you, it was the dysfunctions of your parents, who themselves had their own stuff to deal with. I personally don't blame the victims, and have full compassion for all of these folks.

The game, is tough, due to the doubts. Thinking your spinning your wheels, etc.

It takes deep principles and belief, to succeed in this.

You have to install new mental models in your mind, about how the Universe comes to favour those who work, and do so in alignment. We'll dive deep on Sunday, we'll riff for 3-4 hrs. And that's a monthly commitment.

You'll see, as you heal the wound, these things stop happening.

It's not YOU. It's what happened to you. And it WILL abate.

Anyone can tear something down. Building something back up - that takes a real man, who has taken responsibility.

The process requires endless patient, self compassion, kindness, and learning to understand, this isn't the hellscape you might have created in your mind. When you heal, and the inner world has recovered more, you'll see the world is a kinder and fairer place than you think.

When your INNER GAME is good, you'll see. The outer world, just mirrors what you are going through within. Once that is solid, you'll get a lot of rewards.

-Ravi

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

It is normal to get out of sync and out of flow

The trap guys fall into is, Oh NO I've FaLlEn OfF!1!!\

...No

Self-improvement, is complex, and it's ups and downs.

You are right. It's hard not to be negative when faced with something overwhelming, but at the end of the day, self-improvement is about Successes, Failures, and learning.

We had a powerful call today on CMU, we are dealing with our wounds and healing slowly but surely. There's a lot to do so I'm excited for our monthly inner game work tomorrow

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Friday 22nd November:
(1) Work

• Release token bucket change [Fail]
• Talk to NTD [Done]

(2) Inner work:

• Meditation 15min [Fail]
• "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:

• Swipe on hinge [Done]
• Text leads [Done]

(4) Health:

• Good diet [Done]
• Good Hydration [Done]
• Wake up early and get light exposure [Done]
• Meeting with Kai [Done]

(5) Other:

• Find a poster for the 48 laws of power
• Listen to the laws of human nature [Fail]
• Looking for some colored contact lenses. May help with day game

A lot has happened since my last post that deserves to be reflected upon.

1- Coaching call with Kai:

-Cardio routine: 3 times a week 20min cardio in the morning followed by a basic stretching routine. Don't go hard on workouts, we're just building the habit for now. Do different exercises like Stairmaster, cycling, or elliptical
- Start waking up at 7 am, get some light exposure, and go to the gym. Progressively move back to 5 am
- Limit carb intake till the evening, buy Chlorella & Spirulina supplement to decrease cravings. Keep a journal of all that you have eaten along with waking time and energy levels

A lot of things are happening at once here, I need to change my routine and build all of these. No more room to slack off, I need to be on top of this.

2- CMU coaching:

Things went well there, got to share some of the wounds I have from my childhood. I've been on an up-and-down trajectory in my inner game and realize that this is part of healing. You do the daily work and over time the downs will get calmer and calmer and eventually disappear. I will continue doing the work for this.

Coach D again stressed that I needed to sign up for boxing to get my fear of conflict under control.
I shared that with Kai and he thinks my health pillar is nowhere near what it needs to be to get into boxing. I tried it in the past, but it didn't go well. During the session, I would get tired fast and by the end, I would be so physically exhausted that I would spend the next 12 hours in bed.
Kai is 100% right about this and said that I need to get my health pillar up quickly to do that. It might take me months to reach the level I need for boxing.
Unfortunately, I am pretty pessimistic here. I have made a lot of progress but I'm not sure how much more I can do here. Even if I get my routine, diet, and supplementation along with the different light therapies right, the gap between where I am and where I want to be is so large that this might not be enough.
I don't have a choice so I need to work on this. I have ordered my different light therapies and supplements.

3- Day game coaching

Got a C+ here. I haven't day gamed in 2 weeks because of travel so I was rusty. My verbals were very bad and I got blown out a ton. I got into set just once out of like 10. I came to coaching to die and this is what I got. i went hard and by the end, I was angry, my core was bruised and I was exhausted. I went back home, made some food, and rested before doing some chores. Told Dennis that I might day game with him but my energy levels where there. Will definitely day game with him soon tho

Volume is getting lower and lower as it is getting colder. I will try to go out twice a week to maintain my skill level but this will be hard over the middle of winter.

Also starting to phase out my antidepressant from today

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Sunday 24th November:
(1) Work

• Release token bucket change
• Submit tax paper
• submit refunds

(2) Inner work:

• Meditation 15min
• 3-4 hours deep inner game call
• "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:

• Swipe on hinge [Done]
• Text leads [Done]

(4) Health:

• Good diet; no carbs until evening
• Good Hydration
• Wake up at 7 am and get light exposure
• Get some light cardio done in the morning
• Keep a journal of your diet

(5) Other:

• Find a poster for the 48 laws of power
• Listen to the laws of human nature
• Look for some colored contact lenses. May help with day game

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

A lot has happened since the last time I posted. I had a coaching call with Ravi to assess my situation, and we concluded that since I struggle to feel vulnerable around women, I need to focus more on my inner game. Because of the holidays, street volume and hinge matches are down so shifting focus makes sense. I will still do some approaching to not lose my skill but only 1-2 a week.
My areas of focus till the end of the year are inner game and health.

Inner game:

I smoked up 2 days in a row and made some big breakthroughs. I explored my inner world a lot and reconnected with my inner child. I realized that I had neglected it and tried to erase it from my mind. I felt ashamed of who I was growing up so I tried to create myself a new persona and distance myself from the past.
This was causing all kinds of issues because I felt like I was hiding part of my identity from people and that deep down I always had something to be ashamed of.
I was being unfair to myself and decided to embrace my inner child again. This was very emotional and led to positive change but introduced new problems: Without my coping mechanism, a lot of bubble-down feelings are coming out. I have to dive down into them and reprocess them one by one. I was planning to do shrooms today to dive very deep but I wasn't in a good enough state of mind so I will do it tomorrow instead.

Another thing is I realized how past trauma was passed down on my mom's side. My grandparents passed it down to my uncles and mom. They all have their problems caused by their upbringing. My mom developed an anxiety disorder which affected me in a lot of different ways and contributed to my problems today.
My family members couldn't deal with their trauma but this ends here. I will deal with mine and prevent it from being passed down.

Onwards

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Wednesday 27th November:
(1) Work

• Submit Refunds
• Finish Uprobe armors

(2) Inner work:

• Meditation 15min
• Therapy
• "What did I do today to be a man?"
• Shrooms trip

(3) Dating:

(4) Health:

• Good diet; no carbs until evening
• Good Hydration
• Wake up at 7 am and get light exposure
• Get some light cardio done in the morning if possible
• Keep a journal of your diet

(5) Other:

• Find a poster for the 48 laws of power
• Listen to the laws of human nature
• Look for some colored contact lenses. May help with day game

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

I haven't been posting regularly because I've been more tired than usual. But I've been doing the work.

This week has been great for my inner game. I smoked up on Sunday, Monday and took shrooms on Thursday
A lot of self-reflection around my childhood and how I ended up in the situation I am in now. I believe I have revisited most of the big events in my early childhood but I need to build up a more empathetic view of my past. I think this is the key to resolving a lot of the problems I have right now. I also want to revisit some events in my adolescence specifically around my sexual shame.

My health this week has been weak, specifically my energy levels. Smoking 2 days in a row put a lot of pressure on my system and I wasn't able to get much done for 2 days after. Even shrooms took a lot of my energy away for the next day. I have decided that my future inner work will be done sober for now.
The only thing I am open to trying in the future is edibles since I am not sure how my system will react to them.
I've been following Kai's mentorship on health and he put me on a strict diet and workout.
the diet sucks. I can't have any form of sugar, no carbs during the day only in the evening. I am putting up with it in hope this will give me more energy to get more things done.
Workout is some light cardio for now but will get ramped up later.
My current problems are multifaceted but health is the one that scares me the most. I hope it will improve because this puts in jeopardy every other aspect of my life. My current endurance is one of the 35 year old man and I am 24. Nothing I can do except doing the work and hoping it gets better

Went day game today, got a few sets in. I am rusty af but getting back into it. Saw Dennis, he explained to me and showed me examples of masculinity. I was able to see it clearly in some of his sets and seeing an example live was helpful. One day I will catch up to him and get my masculinity up as well.

 

[Self Improver]

if health and inner game is the focus, how can we track more robustly?

Health metrics and inner game processes need to be front and centre

Self improvement is quite a deliberate game. And your commitment is reflected in the posts. The best loggers are often the best self improvers.

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

if health and inner game is the focus, how can we track more robustly?

Health metrics and inner game processes need to be front and centre

Self improvement is quite a deliberate game. And your commitment is reflected in the posts. The best loggers are often the best self improvers.

I will try to be more consistent in my posting. My problem is that I lack the energy to post when I mess up my health or when things get stressful. I will aim to be more consistent and see how the next few weeks play out.

Today was good. Even though I went to the day game yesterday, I still had the energy to do things today. I think Kai's program is helping me improve my energy but it takes a few days for the habits to give results. I went to the gym, did some groceries, and worked on my inner game a lot.
I came to some realizations today. I reflected on where could my sexual shame have come from and got a few good leads. I journaled about my adolescence and meditated. I am looking forward to my therapy session on Tuesday, I want to share some of my school years and dive deep. I feel like part of me is wondering if what I am feeling is okay and is it fixable. The truth is that it is and I will make it

I am slowly decreasing the dose of my anti-depressant to completely phase it out. I am moving to 50% of my original dose and will keep that for a week before decreasing it to 25%. So far my withdrawal symptoms have been mild (feel like my head is more noisy) but we will see.

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Monday 2nd December:
(1) Work

• Finish Uprobe armors
• Execute Rollout plan
• Make a post about host profiles

(2) Inner work:

• Meditation 15min
• "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:

(4) Health:

• Good diet; no carbs until evening
• Good Hydration
• Wake up at 7 am and get light exposure
• Keep a journal of your diet

(5) Other:

• Find a poster for the 48 laws of power
• Listen to the laws of human nature
• Look for some colored contact lenses. May help with day game

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Monday 2nd December:
(1) Work

• Finish Uprobe armors [Fail]
• Execute Rollout plan [Done]
• Make a post about host profiles [In progress]

(2) Inner work:

• Meditation 15min [Done]
• "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:

(4) Health:

• Good diet; no carbs until evening [Done]
• Good Hydration [Done]
• Wake up at 7 am [Fail] and get light exposure [Done]
• Keep a journal of your diet [Done]

(5) Other:

• Find a poster for the 48 laws of power
• Listen to the laws of human nature [Done]
• Look for some colored contact lenses. May help with day game

Today was an okay day. I woke up early, did some good things at work, and respected my diet. The new diet is slowly but surely giving me more energy.
I feel in a bad mood today, probably because I am stopping my antidepressant. Don't want to share too much or else this post will just be about complaining

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Tuesday 3rd December:
(1) Work

• Finish Uprobe armors
• Execute Rollout plan
• Make a post about host profiles

(2) Inner work:

• Meditation 15min
• "What did I do today to be a man?"
• Therapy

(3) Dating:

(4) Health:

• Good diet; no carbs until evening
• Good Hydration
• Wake up at 7 am and get light exposure
• Keep a journal of your diet

(5) Other:

• Find a poster for the 48 laws of power
• Spend 2 hours reading the laws of human nature
• Look for some colored contact lenses. May help with day game

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Tuesday 3rd December:
(1) Work

• Finish Uprobe armors
• Execute Rollout plan
• Make a post about host profiles

(2) Inner work:

• Meditation 15min
• "What did I do today to be a man?"
• Therapy

(3) Dating:

(4) Health:

• Good diet; no carbs until evening
• Good Hydration
• Wake up at 7 am and get light exposure
• Keep a journal of your diet

(5) Other:

• Find a poster for the 48 laws of power
• Spend 2 hours reading the laws of human nature
• Look for some colored contact lenses. May help with day game

I had a small stomach upset yesterday that made me lose half of my day today. This is annoying but not a big deal. We learn and improve.

I've been working on my health goals a lot this week: routines, diet, and sleep. The more I reflect on my inner game, the more I can see that my prior health was the cause of a lot of my problems—insomnia, anxiety, feeling tired and weak. It's a hard thing to accept and tackle. I must have a genetic deficiency, one that makes my body susceptible to certain food, stress, and mitochondria dysfunction. I don't know what that deficiency is, and probably never will. Science just hasn't caught up yet, no doctor was able to help me.
All I can do is change my lifestyle to deal with the symptoms and maximize my energy. Kai is giving me some major help there and without him I would be lost.
Everything comes at a price tho:
I must forego a lot of the tasty foods I once had, I can only eat healthy from now on. I also can't do any drugs, no weed, no shrooms, no nicotine.
I spend a lot on my health: Supplements, medications, and recently red light therapy.
My health is currently my weak spot and I could argue that it is as (if not more) important than my inner game because without it I have nothing. I am excited to improve this part of my life and when I do things will fall into place.

Innergame-wise I understood a lot of things. I can finally see my negative patterns and my dysfunction. I attribute a lot of them to my health and upbringing. Talking over my reflections with my therapist helped a lot and I still have a few areas I need to dive deep into. I feel that talking over them helps a lot so I will continue doing so

I have also been listening to the laws of human nature. The first part was about how humans are emotional and how their negative experiences shape their response to things which I knew,
Now I am learning about the importance of understanding body language and facial expressions. The author gave a lot of powerful examples based on history. I will try to apply some of that, I will pay extra attention to facial features in day-to-day conversations and shows I watch.

Slow but steady progress, onwards

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

Thursday 5th December:
(1) Work

• Finish Uprobe armors
• Execute Rollout plan
• Make a post about host profiles

(2) Inner work:

• Meditation 15min
• "What did I do today to be a man?"

(3) Dating:

(4) Health:

• Good diet; no carbs until evening
• Good Hydration
• Wake up at 7 am and get light exposure
• Keep a journal of your diet

(5) Other:

• Find a poster for the 48 laws of power
• Read the laws of human nature
• Look for some colored contact lenses. May help with day game

 

[Chamele0n]

It's a hard thing to accept and tackle. I must have a genetic deficiency, one that makes my body susceptible to certain food, stress, and mitochondria dysfunction. I don't know what that deficiency is, and probably never will. Science just hasn't caught up yet, no doctor was able to help me.

I think that science has started catching up. While it may still be in its infancy, the science of personalized medicine based on genetic data is starting to show results. This is what I want to work on in the future and what I hope to contribute to this community and to the overall sphere of self-improvement. I am not super knowledgeable right now, but I can share some good articles, and we could discuss them in DMs if you’re interested.

Innergame-wise I understood a lot of things. I can finally see my negative patterns and my dysfunction. I attribute a lot of them to my health and upbringing. Talking over my reflections with my therapist helped a lot and I still have a few areas I need to dive deep into. I feel that talking over them helps a lot so I will continue doing so

I can relate to you, having grown up with a lot of health problems myself. I really think inner game and health are way more connected than most people realize. It’s kind of like the “egg and goose” problem—does bad health mess up your inner game, or does bad inner game make your health worse? I feel like they feed into each other, and figuring out both important for making any real progress.

 

[JourneyToOptimal]

I think that science has started catching up. While it may still be in its infancy, the science of personalized medicine based on genetic data is starting to show results. This is what I want to work on in the future and what I hope to contribute to this community and to the overall sphere of self-improvement. I am not super knowledgeable right now, but I can share some good articles, and we could discuss them in DMs if you’re interested.

Thank you for the reply, that's a great goal to have, I hope you succeed in that industry. I recently did a genetic test to enhance my health and while it was very useful it fell short of what I hoped for. They would target specific genes and tell you how good your body is in certain areas. how do you deal with inflammation? detox? Can you build muscle?
They offered clues into what was wrong with my health but couldn't tell me exactly. They recommend habits/supplements to help with categories you are deficient in but it stops here.

in the future, I hope they can be more specific and offer more solutions to weak points in our physiology.


I also 100% agree on the health part. Growing up I would get in bad moods for no reason, and be prone to stress and insomnia. Health affects inner game a LOT