colgate - High Volume Approaching & Pulling / Pickup Hustle
- Thread starter colgate / bulldog
- Start date
colgate / bulldog
Member
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2021
- Goal
- BANG!! japanese chicks!
- Age
- 27
- Motto
- consistency. acceptance. tumescence.
- Location
- tokyo, japan
I was out approaching with my friend on 2/16 at the mall. He told me "you like chocolate?" "Yeah." "there's one right there".
She was a 19 year old Ethiopian chick who was pretty receptive to me and touching my arm. At this point I was thinking, great this is some +BSU shit now she'll ghost, since I've usually never had a chick who acts really "positively" to my approach come through, or she acts weird on the date. It's usually more "neutral" chicks.
We scheduled a date for last Saturday, but she didn't respond to my confirmation text. I was out approaching with pancakemouse and he told me to send this:
Rather than just pushing again, he said you should make the girl defend herself. So I'll be trying that more in the future.
I ran into her in the mall while I was approaching yesterday evening, without a mask this time. Holy shit, she looked like she was in high school. Had braces and all. I was like wow excellent.
Okay, date time. We met tonight at 6pm. I waited for her by another shop and she shows up and I immediately put my arm around her as we walk to Starbucks. Mostly boring chat in the Starbucks for a bit. She asks me if I'm a virgin. I almost said no, and it came out like "nYes". She was like "lol were you about to say no???" I was like...yeah lol. She told me she was "saving herself for marriage".
This kind of psyched me out for a little bit but I changed the subject and kept talking. I had a plan in mind anyway for how I wanted the date to go and didn't deviate from it. Essentially, I was going to follow the template I did with the Asian barbie chick from Tuesday. Bounce to outside and listen to music on my phone, do some more light physical escalation and cringey club dance moves in public, then pull to car with "let's listen to some more music in my car".
So we did all of that. When I went for the car pull, she wanted to walk around the outdoor mall for 10 minutes. So rather than being an asshole and pushing to go directly to my car 10x, I was like okay sure and we walked around. Then I said, "okay we'll do another lap and then head over to my car" and she agreed.
She was telling me that she just got out of some weird love triangle and then she told her friend that I approached her and that her friend said she should go for it. So I guess I somehow got friend approval.
Back at my car, we listened to music for maybe 3-4 minutes.
Then her friend called her to tell her that she arrived at the mall. Apparently they had plans after our date.
She asked me what were my plans, and I said I didn't have any. Immediately, like I was being trolled by the gods, my friend calls me and also asks me if I can meet him tomorrow for something.
Okay, so I was on a time crunch here. I told the girl "we'll wait for this song to finish and then you can go".
And then I took her cheek and went for the kiss. Like the Asian barbie doll, we touched lips for 0.5 seconds and then she pulled back. She was like "kiss???? on the first date????" I was like yeah.
She started coming closer to me and nuzzling her head on my chest while we talked and listened to more music. I think she was trying to process what just happened or something.
Then she sat up and said "what's the farthest you've gone?" I ended up fibbing and telling her I've gotten a handjob before and sucked titties. I know KYIL is really against lying and promotes 100% honesty but I have conflicting information from various sources on this and so I just winged it. I think it didn't matter what I said though, I could have just been 100% honest and nothing else would have changed. But she told me she's gotten her titties sucked before and that's the farthest she's gone.
"....u wanted to make out with me that badly?"
"yeah"
"i suck at making out idk...."
"i'll teach you"
So we started kissing, and she immediately got all up in my hair and hands over my body like the classroom makeout chick in Nashville did back in September. I was like oh shit.............shit.................................
I got in her shirt and then felt her breasts over her bra. Then I spent a whole minute trying to figure out how to freaking undo her bra. Got tired of that and straight up told her to take off her bra. She giggled and unfastened it for me (really need to learn how to take off bras).
We continued making out while I felt her bare titty. I was squeezing the nipple and shit and she was moaning. wtf a girl is actually into this????????
I pulled her shirt up and started sucking her titty, lightly biting it, sucking, going back to making out and shit. Started choking her while I was sucking her titty and while we were making out.
Then I completely disengaged and stared her right in the eyes like I was shooting an arrow.
You're not a good girl. I'm not giving you anymore.
She immediately and aggressively pulled me back into her face and we started making out again. Pretty much the same deal as before for a bit. Possibly gave her a hickey too, I kind of don't remember.
I was unbuttoning my pants when suddenly...
"hey my phone is vibrating hold on"
Okay so her friend called again and she said she has to go. So I was like alright and she had me fasten her bra again and put her clothes back on. Final kiss goodbye and she was off. And I'm blueballed again with another solid pull+no hookup.
--
Thoughts/feelings
So before this date happened, I was pretty unenthusiastic about it because she didn't get to my confirmation text until like 6 hours later. The only reason I was kind of down is because in the past (as you can see in my logs), all chicks who have acted "overly positively" to me (+BSU) have usually ghosted or made the date really difficult for me. So I was kind of expecting more of that.
Troy was encouraging me with "or maybe this girl is actually into you", but I didn't really believe him.
But then during the fooling around in the car and afterwards I'm like, wait holy shit a chick can actually be into me and I don't have to push like an asshole to get what I want??? As I've said in this log in previous posts, I had a lot of insecurities about my "gay vibes". And additionally, I actually started becoming insecure about my looks and masculinity from seeing how my own results stack up to other guys'. At the end of the day, it just means I have to work harder and hustle in different areas, but it was still a feeling I had. But I guess 1650+ approaches later, you find a chick who seems to actually like you and isn't just "fawning" as a nervous reaction.
And additionally, my approach interactions have been improving and I've been discovering new ways to have more effective approaches, so no doubt that's been helping quite a bit.
I'm getting close lol.
oh, by the way, the Asian barbie bimbo from Tuesday blocked me on WhatsApp. Great.
She was a 19 year old Ethiopian chick who was pretty receptive to me and touching my arm. At this point I was thinking, great this is some +BSU shit now she'll ghost, since I've usually never had a chick who acts really "positively" to my approach come through, or she acts weird on the date. It's usually more "neutral" chicks.
We scheduled a date for last Saturday, but she didn't respond to my confirmation text. I was out approaching with pancakemouse and he told me to send this:
Rather than just pushing again, he said you should make the girl defend herself. So I'll be trying that more in the future.
I ran into her in the mall while I was approaching yesterday evening, without a mask this time. Holy shit, she looked like she was in high school. Had braces and all. I was like wow excellent.
Okay, date time. We met tonight at 6pm. I waited for her by another shop and she shows up and I immediately put my arm around her as we walk to Starbucks. Mostly boring chat in the Starbucks for a bit. She asks me if I'm a virgin. I almost said no, and it came out like "nYes". She was like "lol were you about to say no???" I was like...yeah lol. She told me she was "saving herself for marriage".
This kind of psyched me out for a little bit but I changed the subject and kept talking. I had a plan in mind anyway for how I wanted the date to go and didn't deviate from it. Essentially, I was going to follow the template I did with the Asian barbie chick from Tuesday. Bounce to outside and listen to music on my phone, do some more light physical escalation and cringey club dance moves in public, then pull to car with "let's listen to some more music in my car".
So we did all of that. When I went for the car pull, she wanted to walk around the outdoor mall for 10 minutes. So rather than being an asshole and pushing to go directly to my car 10x, I was like okay sure and we walked around. Then I said, "okay we'll do another lap and then head over to my car" and she agreed.
She was telling me that she just got out of some weird love triangle and then she told her friend that I approached her and that her friend said she should go for it. So I guess I somehow got friend approval.
Back at my car, we listened to music for maybe 3-4 minutes.
Then her friend called her to tell her that she arrived at the mall. Apparently they had plans after our date.
She asked me what were my plans, and I said I didn't have any. Immediately, like I was being trolled by the gods, my friend calls me and also asks me if I can meet him tomorrow for something.
Okay, so I was on a time crunch here. I told the girl "we'll wait for this song to finish and then you can go".
And then I took her cheek and went for the kiss. Like the Asian barbie doll, we touched lips for 0.5 seconds and then she pulled back. She was like "kiss???? on the first date????" I was like yeah.
She started coming closer to me and nuzzling her head on my chest while we talked and listened to more music. I think she was trying to process what just happened or something.
Then she sat up and said "what's the farthest you've gone?" I ended up fibbing and telling her I've gotten a handjob before and sucked titties. I know KYIL is really against lying and promotes 100% honesty but I have conflicting information from various sources on this and so I just winged it. I think it didn't matter what I said though, I could have just been 100% honest and nothing else would have changed. But she told me she's gotten her titties sucked before and that's the farthest she's gone.
"....u wanted to make out with me that badly?"
"yeah"
"i suck at making out idk...."
"i'll teach you"
So we started kissing, and she immediately got all up in my hair and hands over my body like the classroom makeout chick in Nashville did back in September. I was like oh shit.............shit.................................
I got in her shirt and then felt her breasts over her bra. Then I spent a whole minute trying to figure out how to freaking undo her bra. Got tired of that and straight up told her to take off her bra. She giggled and unfastened it for me (really need to learn how to take off bras).
We continued making out while I felt her bare titty. I was squeezing the nipple and shit and she was moaning. wtf a girl is actually into this????????
I pulled her shirt up and started sucking her titty, lightly biting it, sucking, going back to making out and shit. Started choking her while I was sucking her titty and while we were making out.
Then I completely disengaged and stared her right in the eyes like I was shooting an arrow.
You're not a good girl. I'm not giving you anymore.
She immediately and aggressively pulled me back into her face and we started making out again. Pretty much the same deal as before for a bit. Possibly gave her a hickey too, I kind of don't remember.
I was unbuttoning my pants when suddenly...
"hey my phone is vibrating hold on"
Okay so her friend called again and she said she has to go. So I was like alright and she had me fasten her bra again and put her clothes back on. Final kiss goodbye and she was off. And I'm blueballed again with another solid pull+no hookup.
--
Thoughts/feelings
So before this date happened, I was pretty unenthusiastic about it because she didn't get to my confirmation text until like 6 hours later. The only reason I was kind of down is because in the past (as you can see in my logs), all chicks who have acted "overly positively" to me (+BSU) have usually ghosted or made the date really difficult for me. So I was kind of expecting more of that.
Troy was encouraging me with "or maybe this girl is actually into you", but I didn't really believe him.
But then during the fooling around in the car and afterwards I'm like, wait holy shit a chick can actually be into me and I don't have to push like an asshole to get what I want??? As I've said in this log in previous posts, I had a lot of insecurities about my "gay vibes". And additionally, I actually started becoming insecure about my looks and masculinity from seeing how my own results stack up to other guys'. At the end of the day, it just means I have to work harder and hustle in different areas, but it was still a feeling I had. But I guess 1650+ approaches later, you find a chick who seems to actually like you and isn't just "fawning" as a nervous reaction.
And additionally, my approach interactions have been improving and I've been discovering new ways to have more effective approaches, so no doubt that's been helping quite a bit.
I'm getting close lol.
oh, by the way, the Asian barbie bimbo from Tuesday blocked me on WhatsApp. Great.
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2021
colgate said:
HAHAHAH
MORE LIKE SAVING HERSELF FOR CHAD
Keep hammering king
MAC
Jacobpalmer123
Member
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2020
Hahahahah so close so fucking close. I think we have all been there 90% of the way there. The phone vibrating gave her a way out. Lul
colgate / bulldog
Member
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2021
- Goal
- BANG!! japanese chicks!
- Age
- 27
- Motto
- consistency. acceptance. tumescence.
- Location
- tokyo, japan
I think I'll actually batch log some of my approach sessions along with thoughts like I did in Austin again. I'm just discovering so much more I need to work on and observing how nearly each session I've been evolving differently so I'll be writing about them, and hopefully get some more feedback.
Saturday 2/26: 6#/57, 1 ID.
Went out with pancakemouse again, who counted each of my approaches this time. I really need to get out of interview mode with approaches (asking what the girl does for work/school and other boring questions). I've been getting alright at making up elaborate stories with the girl and myself going on a romantic vacation to some national park and watching the stars or telling her to quit her job and I'll quit mine and coming up with some fantastical company combining our skills. Also in general, I've been trying to physically escalate a little bit on approaches (touching her arm a bunch here and there while making points), but I think I could do way better with escalation.
And I've also been going indirect when approaching sitting/doing nothing girls. pancakemouse made the observation that my approaches were very creepy/weird when the girl was just sitting, compared to when I stop them while walking. For sitting girls, I basically just said "hey, you're pretty" in a very robotic tone somehow. I think if I stop a girl walking, I get some kind of "rush" and I can give off a very confident and direct vibe. Going indirect initially ("hey what's up", "enjoying that tea?", "waiting for someone"), starting some conversational momentum, and then breaking the bullshit with a direct compliment at some point has gotten me having better sitdown low-energy approaches.
I had an instadate with a chick I didn't find that attractive, but I decided to go for it because she looked like she was doing nothing. All I could think of during the date was how much hotter the Ethiopian girl from Friday night was and sucking her titties. I tried imagining myself escalating on this chick too, but I couldn't stop thinking about the other girl, and instead made cringe forced platonic convo throughout the date. I weakly attempted a bounce to listen to music on my phone in the park (which has been my plan lately), but she said that she just wanted to stay in the cafe. After weakly probing future date logistics just on autopilot, I basically left without exchanging.
This data point was actually extremely valuable because it was a habit I had, just to approach girls looking like they were doing nothing because I could instadate them and see what would happen. But now that I have a singular point of passionately fooling around, I have a clearer vision of why I'm approaching in the first place. I wanna suck some titties!!!!!!!!!!. We went back to the mall and I started only approaching girls where I thought zero about "hmmmm ehhh fuck it I'll do it".
Here's an approach I did on a Japanese girl:
https://streamable.com/w2gh1f
And here's why my volume is so insanely high lately:
https://streamable.com/9aa5ds
^ this stop is a bit wimpier than I thought, but most of my approaches at this mall either look like this or I can't get past the opener (waves me off, "I have a boyfriend", etc). Just mentioning this because some people might be looking at my log like "how the fuck are you going like 3 for 70, when I do 70 approaches I get like 15 numbers, 2 dates, and a lay". It's because this is basically the majority of approaches at this mall. If you do 70 approaches on a college campus over a few days or maybe grocery stores over a few weeks then maybe, sure.
Sunday 2/27: 3#/70.
Entered the mall and got 30+ rejections in a row. And literally only one of those approaches was some forced awkward convo that ultimately ended in a rejection, the rest were all instant blowouts/deflections. This kind of dynamic happens maybe 1 of every 4-5 sessions at this mall, but it hasn't happened for me since Valentine's day (I had a lucky week last week).
As I said in previous logs, the real test is to be able to handle these in stride and truly embrace rejection, instead of being butthurt about it and reacting by e.g. telling girls to gtfo and playing stupid games. So I got tested. Did lots of deep breathing in between approaches and tried to slow the fuck down and not amp myself up.
I ran into K (the wing who told me I need to "go for the makeout" even on instadates and you won't have as much of a hard time with pulls, and ultimately helped me realized that escalation is important on approaches) mid-sesh. He pushed me to do a bunch of group sets. I've been deliberately skipping groups lately because I feel like I can zone in on the interaction much more with a solo girl and potentially instadate, but he's gotten laid from groups and I've been missing out on a lot of hot girls just because I don't bother with the groups. I think I've said in previous posts that I used to not even see the group when approaching, but somehow I started just only doing solo chicks because I've wanted to instadate+escalate lately, and I felt a lot of anxiety trying something like that with a girl in a group. But you just have to treat groups like a solo, and maybe you can acknowledge the group if you want. This also would force me to have more solid interactions with these girls, because I basically can't instadate them, and I have to go for their number at some point. I think it'll also improve my general social skills too, doing more groups again.
How to embrace rejection
I had one approach where I went up to a girl waiting for bubble tea. She was kind of neutral to it, then her bubble tea came so I just waited near the area where I approached her. It was off to the side so if she wanted to leave without acknowledging me again, she could. But she told me, "hey I have to go meet some friends right now" without me asking her. I decided to hail mary while touching her arm and probe for a future date, since she was in a rush. She was kind of like "uhhh...uh....". I've noticed this kind of a response is a sign of fear in a girl, and in theory, I could just extract her number right there so I can get ghosted, but I tried something else this time.
"Look, I wanna get your number, but if you don't want to do that, that's fine. I'm not forcing you to give me your number. You can go if you want. But I'd like your number because I'm interested."
"Actually yeah, I'm not really looking for anything...sorry..."
So I was just like alright cool. Then she suddenly warmed up and got all bubbly. She lit up and told me her name and stuck out her hand for me to shake it.
I had 0.5 seconds of feeling like I wanted to ignore the handshake and telling her she can leave, but I slowed down and remembered I'm trying to cool it and actually embrace rejection, rather than being bitter and pissed about it. This is also right in the middle of probably going 1#/40 at this point in the session, and with a number I thought is probably not even that solid.
So I accepted the handshake and told her my name and told her to have fun with her friends. I guess this is what "embracing rejection" actually means.
I've said this in previous logs but I've noticed a trend of girls getting overly bubbly when they have already "convinced themselves" they aren't going to see you again, or that it'll be "impossible" to see you again (out of town, boyfriend, married, etc). If there's any evidence of this observation, it's this approach. It's easy to get salty about this, especially if you're coming from a mindset of "oh she's just getting off to my validation of her, and I'm getting nothing out of it", this transactional mindset. But I think if your compliments need to come from a place of genuine desire and attraction, then you can appreciate something beautiful without expecting something in return.
Saturday 2/26: 6#/57, 1 ID.
Went out with pancakemouse again, who counted each of my approaches this time. I really need to get out of interview mode with approaches (asking what the girl does for work/school and other boring questions). I've been getting alright at making up elaborate stories with the girl and myself going on a romantic vacation to some national park and watching the stars or telling her to quit her job and I'll quit mine and coming up with some fantastical company combining our skills. Also in general, I've been trying to physically escalate a little bit on approaches (touching her arm a bunch here and there while making points), but I think I could do way better with escalation.
And I've also been going indirect when approaching sitting/doing nothing girls. pancakemouse made the observation that my approaches were very creepy/weird when the girl was just sitting, compared to when I stop them while walking. For sitting girls, I basically just said "hey, you're pretty" in a very robotic tone somehow. I think if I stop a girl walking, I get some kind of "rush" and I can give off a very confident and direct vibe. Going indirect initially ("hey what's up", "enjoying that tea?", "waiting for someone"), starting some conversational momentum, and then breaking the bullshit with a direct compliment at some point has gotten me having better sitdown low-energy approaches.
I had an instadate with a chick I didn't find that attractive, but I decided to go for it because she looked like she was doing nothing. All I could think of during the date was how much hotter the Ethiopian girl from Friday night was and sucking her titties. I tried imagining myself escalating on this chick too, but I couldn't stop thinking about the other girl, and instead made cringe forced platonic convo throughout the date. I weakly attempted a bounce to listen to music on my phone in the park (which has been my plan lately), but she said that she just wanted to stay in the cafe. After weakly probing future date logistics just on autopilot, I basically left without exchanging.
This data point was actually extremely valuable because it was a habit I had, just to approach girls looking like they were doing nothing because I could instadate them and see what would happen. But now that I have a singular point of passionately fooling around, I have a clearer vision of why I'm approaching in the first place. I wanna suck some titties!!!!!!!!!!. We went back to the mall and I started only approaching girls where I thought zero about "hmmmm ehhh fuck it I'll do it".
Here's an approach I did on a Japanese girl:
https://streamable.com/w2gh1f
And here's why my volume is so insanely high lately:
https://streamable.com/9aa5ds
^ this stop is a bit wimpier than I thought, but most of my approaches at this mall either look like this or I can't get past the opener (waves me off, "I have a boyfriend", etc). Just mentioning this because some people might be looking at my log like "how the fuck are you going like 3 for 70, when I do 70 approaches I get like 15 numbers, 2 dates, and a lay". It's because this is basically the majority of approaches at this mall. If you do 70 approaches on a college campus over a few days or maybe grocery stores over a few weeks then maybe, sure.
Sunday 2/27: 3#/70.
Entered the mall and got 30+ rejections in a row. And literally only one of those approaches was some forced awkward convo that ultimately ended in a rejection, the rest were all instant blowouts/deflections. This kind of dynamic happens maybe 1 of every 4-5 sessions at this mall, but it hasn't happened for me since Valentine's day (I had a lucky week last week).
As I said in previous logs, the real test is to be able to handle these in stride and truly embrace rejection, instead of being butthurt about it and reacting by e.g. telling girls to gtfo and playing stupid games. So I got tested. Did lots of deep breathing in between approaches and tried to slow the fuck down and not amp myself up.
I ran into K (the wing who told me I need to "go for the makeout" even on instadates and you won't have as much of a hard time with pulls, and ultimately helped me realized that escalation is important on approaches) mid-sesh. He pushed me to do a bunch of group sets. I've been deliberately skipping groups lately because I feel like I can zone in on the interaction much more with a solo girl and potentially instadate, but he's gotten laid from groups and I've been missing out on a lot of hot girls just because I don't bother with the groups. I think I've said in previous posts that I used to not even see the group when approaching, but somehow I started just only doing solo chicks because I've wanted to instadate+escalate lately, and I felt a lot of anxiety trying something like that with a girl in a group. But you just have to treat groups like a solo, and maybe you can acknowledge the group if you want. This also would force me to have more solid interactions with these girls, because I basically can't instadate them, and I have to go for their number at some point. I think it'll also improve my general social skills too, doing more groups again.
How to embrace rejection
I had one approach where I went up to a girl waiting for bubble tea. She was kind of neutral to it, then her bubble tea came so I just waited near the area where I approached her. It was off to the side so if she wanted to leave without acknowledging me again, she could. But she told me, "hey I have to go meet some friends right now" without me asking her. I decided to hail mary while touching her arm and probe for a future date, since she was in a rush. She was kind of like "uhhh...uh....". I've noticed this kind of a response is a sign of fear in a girl, and in theory, I could just extract her number right there so I can get ghosted, but I tried something else this time.
"Look, I wanna get your number, but if you don't want to do that, that's fine. I'm not forcing you to give me your number. You can go if you want. But I'd like your number because I'm interested."
"Actually yeah, I'm not really looking for anything...sorry..."
So I was just like alright cool. Then she suddenly warmed up and got all bubbly. She lit up and told me her name and stuck out her hand for me to shake it.
I had 0.5 seconds of feeling like I wanted to ignore the handshake and telling her she can leave, but I slowed down and remembered I'm trying to cool it and actually embrace rejection, rather than being bitter and pissed about it. This is also right in the middle of probably going 1#/40 at this point in the session, and with a number I thought is probably not even that solid.
So I accepted the handshake and told her my name and told her to have fun with her friends. I guess this is what "embracing rejection" actually means.
I've said this in previous logs but I've noticed a trend of girls getting overly bubbly when they have already "convinced themselves" they aren't going to see you again, or that it'll be "impossible" to see you again (out of town, boyfriend, married, etc). If there's any evidence of this observation, it's this approach. It's easy to get salty about this, especially if you're coming from a mindset of "oh she's just getting off to my validation of her, and I'm getting nothing out of it", this transactional mindset. But I think if your compliments need to come from a place of genuine desire and attraction, then you can appreciate something beautiful without expecting something in return.
Thrice
Member
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2021
You are doing a great job and showing great work out, i can't do that, when i get rejected i get angry and snap, so what you're learning is amazing. After trying online dating i will start approaching too. I think learning to embrace rejection is something every man has to do, it just changes your brain chemistry for the better
Adrizzle
Member
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2021
In sales we would call this a weak close. The amount of outs your giving shows that you don’t really back the product (yourself)colgate said:
"Look, I think you’re cute and how many other cool Indian guys have the confidence to say that? I wanna to take you out, but if you don't want to do that, that's fine.”
Reminder her of the value you bring. Impressive amount of approaches tho.
Jacobpalmer123
Member
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2020
Holy fuck that's a lot of approaches. Honestly the line in itself isn't bad. It's just that it's putting in a lot of effort and almost expecting a no. You should hope they say yes. It shouldn't be a big shock when they do. You're a great guy if they are rejecting you in 10 seconds it's not you it's them.
But the approach to number ratio seems honestly pretty accurate. Look forward to seeing what they say!!
I get the feeling the bigger the city the more immediate rejection you'll get. In a smaller town they might feel the need to be nice since they might see you again.
Edit: Took out some pointless sentences
But the approach to number ratio seems honestly pretty accurate. Look forward to seeing what they say!!
I get the feeling the bigger the city the more immediate rejection you'll get. In a smaller town they might feel the need to be nice since they might see you again.
Edit: Took out some pointless sentences
colgate / bulldog
Member
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2021
- Goal
- BANG!! japanese chicks!
- Age
- 27
- Motto
- consistency. acceptance. tumescence.
- Location
- tokyo, japan
Daygame
Tuesday 3/1: 3#/30
Wednesday 3/2: 9#/25, 1 instadate+pull (campus 6#/15, mall 3#/10)
Friday 3/4: 0#/20
I have some stories and new insights but I'll share them in the future. But I went on a date with the Japanese chick pancakemouse got on video in my previous log and did the colgate standard of pulling+cuddling. I decided to go full-on gf mode for this one, given that she seemed pretty reserved and deflected making out initially, but was down to cuddle and hold hands. So it's like, that's cool, and I withheld a lot at certain points. Not sure if that was a good idea or not, but we're about to find out probably next week.
Also the Ethiopian chick from last week has ghosted me so far.
--
Had a very emotional approach session today that was akin to my early ones which essentially ended up being a therapy session.
I entered the mall with the following thoughts clouding my head:
- Why don't I have the looks that girls would like?
- Why do I have low self-esteem and a low sense of confidence in who I am?
Those were thoughts that permeated my head and I couldn't focus at all.
Sat down on a chair and wrote this up on my phone maybe 4 approaches in.
Are you worth it?
No.
You're small, you're weak, you're emasculated.
You're not good at anything. You're a quitter.
You just want comfort.
Okay, live in your fucking comfortable bubble.
And die.
Use up all of the oxygen in the bubble and slowly suffocate to death.
At least you can die happy.
By tricking yourself into artificially releasing dopamine when you deserve none of it.
That's your destiny.
Billions of years of everyone hustling to procreate and make life better for their offspring ends on you dying in complacency and satiation.
Are you worth it?
How about you make yourself worth it.
You can't do it all right now, it's not something that happens instantaneously.
It's about trusting the process even if you don't see the outcomes right now.
Motivate your fucking self.
No one wants to validate you.
People couldn't care less if you shriveled up and drifted away in the cold wind.
The only person who can determine your worth is you.
Nobody cares if you "want" to do it
Nobody cares if you "don't want" to do it
Do you need to do it?
Then do it. Shut up and do it.
Caring so much about what you "want" to do right now is why you're
Small, weak, and emasculated.
Quitters do what they want
Winners do what they need
Are you worth it?
Turn yourself into someone who's worth it.
Or die.
Where did all this come from? Well essentially, I've basically been extremely lazy in my lifestyle outside of approach. I literally had to hire a personal trainer to make sure I go to the damn gym, and I probably would have looked much better and been much stronger if I kept up my gym routine since I left Tennessee. Additionally, I waste so much time chatting and on the Internet. My presence in the daygame chat has dwindled quite a bit since I'm finding my own journey deviating from theirs, but I've just replaced it with other addictions. Also, I keep trying to wake up early and I can't do it other than gym days because my appointments are at 7am. Or I'll sit in my car for hours on my phone, or in my bed.
So then I decide to go out and approach, and I already feel like I don't deserve any of these girls. I don't have my own life going on because I'm not keeping up my daily routines very well. And everything I've done in the past, I can only get to a "capable" level and not stellar because I can't keep up practicing them. Just all of these thoughts bubbled up in my head while I was out today especially, and I had to let it all out.
Not specifically looking for advice on this laziness as I know what I need to do. But it's a matter of actually doing it. Hopefully I can look back on this log in a couple months like I can look back on my early logs now and see how far I've come since then.
Turn yourself into someone who's worth it. Or die.
Tuesday 3/1: 3#/30
Wednesday 3/2: 9#/25, 1 instadate+pull (campus 6#/15, mall 3#/10)
Friday 3/4: 0#/20
I have some stories and new insights but I'll share them in the future. But I went on a date with the Japanese chick pancakemouse got on video in my previous log and did the colgate standard of pulling+cuddling. I decided to go full-on gf mode for this one, given that she seemed pretty reserved and deflected making out initially, but was down to cuddle and hold hands. So it's like, that's cool, and I withheld a lot at certain points. Not sure if that was a good idea or not, but we're about to find out probably next week.
Also the Ethiopian chick from last week has ghosted me so far.
--
Had a very emotional approach session today that was akin to my early ones which essentially ended up being a therapy session.
I entered the mall with the following thoughts clouding my head:
- Why don't I have the looks that girls would like?
- Why do I have low self-esteem and a low sense of confidence in who I am?
Those were thoughts that permeated my head and I couldn't focus at all.
Sat down on a chair and wrote this up on my phone maybe 4 approaches in.
Are you worth it?
No.
You're small, you're weak, you're emasculated.
You're not good at anything. You're a quitter.
You just want comfort.
Okay, live in your fucking comfortable bubble.
And die.
Use up all of the oxygen in the bubble and slowly suffocate to death.
At least you can die happy.
By tricking yourself into artificially releasing dopamine when you deserve none of it.
That's your destiny.
Billions of years of everyone hustling to procreate and make life better for their offspring ends on you dying in complacency and satiation.
Are you worth it?
How about you make yourself worth it.
You can't do it all right now, it's not something that happens instantaneously.
It's about trusting the process even if you don't see the outcomes right now.
Motivate your fucking self.
No one wants to validate you.
People couldn't care less if you shriveled up and drifted away in the cold wind.
The only person who can determine your worth is you.
Nobody cares if you "want" to do it
Nobody cares if you "don't want" to do it
Do you need to do it?
Then do it. Shut up and do it.
Caring so much about what you "want" to do right now is why you're
Small, weak, and emasculated.
Quitters do what they want
Winners do what they need
Are you worth it?
Turn yourself into someone who's worth it.
Or die.
Where did all this come from? Well essentially, I've basically been extremely lazy in my lifestyle outside of approach. I literally had to hire a personal trainer to make sure I go to the damn gym, and I probably would have looked much better and been much stronger if I kept up my gym routine since I left Tennessee. Additionally, I waste so much time chatting and on the Internet. My presence in the daygame chat has dwindled quite a bit since I'm finding my own journey deviating from theirs, but I've just replaced it with other addictions. Also, I keep trying to wake up early and I can't do it other than gym days because my appointments are at 7am. Or I'll sit in my car for hours on my phone, or in my bed.
So then I decide to go out and approach, and I already feel like I don't deserve any of these girls. I don't have my own life going on because I'm not keeping up my daily routines very well. And everything I've done in the past, I can only get to a "capable" level and not stellar because I can't keep up practicing them. Just all of these thoughts bubbled up in my head while I was out today especially, and I had to let it all out.
Not specifically looking for advice on this laziness as I know what I need to do. But it's a matter of actually doing it. Hopefully I can look back on this log in a couple months like I can look back on my early logs now and see how far I've come since then.
Turn yourself into someone who's worth it. Or die.
colgate / bulldog
Member
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2021
- Goal
- BANG!! japanese chicks!
- Age
- 27
- Motto
- consistency. acceptance. tumescence.
- Location
- tokyo, japan
Daygame
Saturday 3/5: 2#/35 over 7 hours. (usually this amount would take me 2-3 hours)
I did like only 15 approaches over 2-3 hours because I felt like I had some toxic aura emanating out of my presence, due to my recent struggles with self-worth and self-esteem. Spent more time sitting around writing some introspective shit again. I actually felt like I teleported back into August, when I couldn't approach any of the cute girls I saw walking around me.
Forced myself to do 5 more approaches. Each time I finished an approach, I felt a short rush, followed by a crash back into the deep dark hole I've been in. I wanted to go home.
I backtracked to my old strategies from when I was new to approach. Go up to 10 girls, and then you can go home.
So I started. I went up to 2 girls, and wanted to go home. Just told myself over and over "no, fuck this" and kept going. Random mix of mostly instant deflections and some conversation. But I noticed I was caring less and less about my self-worth issues and it felt like a fast-forwarded version of my progress in August.
Eventually I had a bunch of realizations while I was approaching and getting closer to 10, and then I didn't want to stop.
Next approach, I get some cute Chinese girl sitting down with lavender pants. We actually have a good conversation.
I'm scared you're going to kidnap me and take my kidney...
Yes. I was going to take you out to bubble tea, then take you to my car, then pull out my knife collection, and harvest your kidneys and make thousands of dollars. That's my job.
Anyway she didn't want to instadate, so I just grabbed her contact. No idea if it'll go anywhere, but I was probably 1#/30 at that point. This would have been a pretty normal occurrence/interaction for me on nearly any other day, but I truly felt like I was back at 100-200 lifetime approaches colgate.
Did 4-5 more approaches after that and called it.
Realizations about self-worth, looks, and approach/dating
So it's pretty plainly obvious to me that the current version of me is not what girls want. There are very rare and sporadic ones here and there who will at least meet up and maybe come back home with me and fool around, but it takes me an insane amount of volume to find them.
I've had several blackpill moments over the past 6 months, and usually decided to just ignore them and persist anyway. But I've ignored them for long enough.
Usually it was observing other guys have success with cold approach way sooner than I and other guys did. I did draw certain conclusions about that, such as here: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=23887#p23887
But I think it's quite foolish and unproductive to state that "oh you just have a huge negative wave", because it absolves responsibility from myself to improve.
One factor I kept trying to ignore since I've started is my looks. I'm a short Indian. This sounds like a level zero bullshit excuse to stop, but this is something I'm saying after 6 months of hustling so far. Combined with having only an average level of fitness also not feeling generally masculine, it's a pretty deadly combo.
You can say this is just a limiting belief, but I've had some moments that have highlighted to me otherwise. And you guys should know by now I'm not the type of person who just makes excuses so he can avoid doing work.
https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=27178#p27178 In this story with the time I madeout with a pornstar, I omitted a part of it out of trying to push it under the rug and not ruin the vibe of the post. I'll go into detail about that now.
When Rick messaged our chat about this chick, I was the first and only guy to spring onto the opportunity to get a "free bang" or something. As I said, I literally ran to his hotel room, only to not find them, and then happened to find them waiting in line. Despite me being right there and getting a free makeout, she refused to go any further with me (although I did act quite passively, so maybe I didn't try hard enough). Then Rick just showed her a picture of the other guys in the group, and she picked some other guy. At that moment, I was just like, well I guess that's how it goes.
I've mentioned my occasional daygame wing K in my log here. He does far fewer approaches than I do, yet gets around the same or equal contacts as me, and more of those contacts actually respond to him. I don't think looks matter as much for instadates, as I've gotten mostly the same as he does. I winged him on a few of his interactions and they were honestly mostly the same as mine were, if anything slightly more subdued (there's no need to be like omg!!! im so alpha!!!, i'm aware of that). But he's a tall Asian-American, and he's even admitted that a lot of the Chinese girls here have a fetish for Americanized Asian men.
But what really cemented this is looking back on my Japanese approaches. Out of maybe 6-7 total Japanese approaches lifetime, I've gotten 3 of the girls to meet up for dates (1/4 here in California). And I think on nearly every Japanese approach, the girl was initially unreceptive, but I recognized her accent when she tries to leave with "I donto supiiku ingurisshu" and I switch languages, and go on to having a 5+ minute conversation and exchange. It's like out of nowhere, 20lbs of lean muscle just plumped on my body and suddenly the girl is interested. Compare that to 0/500+ for other Asian girls, and 1/3-4 for black girls (there aren't that many here).
What's my point here? I'm saying that I got a taste of what it'd be like for a girl to see inherent value in me approaching her, essentially with knowing her native language in a country she didn't expect anyone to know it in. And I had a lot of thinking about "what value am I even providing to these other girls? why should they even meet up with me again?"
I think up front is looks. But without that, what is there? There's plenty more I can improve regarding my approach interactions and I've talked about them before. But it essentially feels like I'm just aggressively marketing a product that isn't even good in the end. It's like how Apple hardly needs to advertise the newest iPhone, because they know people are going to buy it because they know the product is good. What am I offering to girls?
The above discussion sounds like purely blackpill. But it actually isn't, because I was able to come up with the following conclusions as I was approaching:
1. You haven't even gotten close to maxing out your looks and strength potential. You're not allowed to complain about your looks until you have literally hit top 1-5 percentile for your own body. And likely the above worries will go away once you do. You still have a lot of work to do.
2. There are still girls that will meet up with you if you keep approaching in your current state. Are you going to choose 0.1% or clean 0%? Do you have any better ideas for meeting girls? Exactly.
3. One day you'll be jacked and also have more experience and this won't feel so brutal and hopeless. but in the meanwhile you can deal with what you have. if you just wait until you feel "worth it" and you finally start at that point, you'll probably feel even more disappointed. you certainly didn't have these self-worth and self-esteem issues when you started approaching, they've only come since then. so you're going to just repeat the same cycle if you stop, because you'll get "back into approach" with a more baseline sense of self-worth and self-esteem, only to realize that the overwhelming majority of approaches are rejection, even if you're good, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about that.
The conclusion here is that in the meanwhile, I can override my own self-worth issues and continue anyway. Just fake it until you make it.
--
I was destined to die
how can I survive when I was encouraged to chase safety?
if I chase safety and complacency, I reproduce another worthless organism
an organism who exists for the sake of existing
an organism who reproduces for the sake of reproducing
how can I survive if I'm put in a novel situation
my wiring wants me to chase highs and validation
my wiring wants me to chase comfort
given the choice of life or death
I was destined to die
when life becomes uncomfortable
through pain we achieve greatness
through comfort we achieve sadness
through danger we achieve the prize
through safety we meet our demise
you were destined to die
if you chose satisfaction
you want to live?
then choose dedication
Saturday 3/5: 2#/35 over 7 hours. (usually this amount would take me 2-3 hours)
I did like only 15 approaches over 2-3 hours because I felt like I had some toxic aura emanating out of my presence, due to my recent struggles with self-worth and self-esteem. Spent more time sitting around writing some introspective shit again. I actually felt like I teleported back into August, when I couldn't approach any of the cute girls I saw walking around me.
Forced myself to do 5 more approaches. Each time I finished an approach, I felt a short rush, followed by a crash back into the deep dark hole I've been in. I wanted to go home.
I backtracked to my old strategies from when I was new to approach. Go up to 10 girls, and then you can go home.
So I started. I went up to 2 girls, and wanted to go home. Just told myself over and over "no, fuck this" and kept going. Random mix of mostly instant deflections and some conversation. But I noticed I was caring less and less about my self-worth issues and it felt like a fast-forwarded version of my progress in August.
Eventually I had a bunch of realizations while I was approaching and getting closer to 10, and then I didn't want to stop.
Next approach, I get some cute Chinese girl sitting down with lavender pants. We actually have a good conversation.
I'm scared you're going to kidnap me and take my kidney...
Yes. I was going to take you out to bubble tea, then take you to my car, then pull out my knife collection, and harvest your kidneys and make thousands of dollars. That's my job.
Anyway she didn't want to instadate, so I just grabbed her contact. No idea if it'll go anywhere, but I was probably 1#/30 at that point. This would have been a pretty normal occurrence/interaction for me on nearly any other day, but I truly felt like I was back at 100-200 lifetime approaches colgate.
Did 4-5 more approaches after that and called it.
Realizations about self-worth, looks, and approach/dating
So it's pretty plainly obvious to me that the current version of me is not what girls want. There are very rare and sporadic ones here and there who will at least meet up and maybe come back home with me and fool around, but it takes me an insane amount of volume to find them.
I've had several blackpill moments over the past 6 months, and usually decided to just ignore them and persist anyway. But I've ignored them for long enough.
Usually it was observing other guys have success with cold approach way sooner than I and other guys did. I did draw certain conclusions about that, such as here: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=23887#p23887
But I think it's quite foolish and unproductive to state that "oh you just have a huge negative wave", because it absolves responsibility from myself to improve.
One factor I kept trying to ignore since I've started is my looks. I'm a short Indian. This sounds like a level zero bullshit excuse to stop, but this is something I'm saying after 6 months of hustling so far. Combined with having only an average level of fitness also not feeling generally masculine, it's a pretty deadly combo.
You can say this is just a limiting belief, but I've had some moments that have highlighted to me otherwise. And you guys should know by now I'm not the type of person who just makes excuses so he can avoid doing work.
https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=27178#p27178 In this story with the time I madeout with a pornstar, I omitted a part of it out of trying to push it under the rug and not ruin the vibe of the post. I'll go into detail about that now.
When Rick messaged our chat about this chick, I was the first and only guy to spring onto the opportunity to get a "free bang" or something. As I said, I literally ran to his hotel room, only to not find them, and then happened to find them waiting in line. Despite me being right there and getting a free makeout, she refused to go any further with me (although I did act quite passively, so maybe I didn't try hard enough). Then Rick just showed her a picture of the other guys in the group, and she picked some other guy. At that moment, I was just like, well I guess that's how it goes.
I've mentioned my occasional daygame wing K in my log here. He does far fewer approaches than I do, yet gets around the same or equal contacts as me, and more of those contacts actually respond to him. I don't think looks matter as much for instadates, as I've gotten mostly the same as he does. I winged him on a few of his interactions and they were honestly mostly the same as mine were, if anything slightly more subdued (there's no need to be like omg!!! im so alpha!!!, i'm aware of that). But he's a tall Asian-American, and he's even admitted that a lot of the Chinese girls here have a fetish for Americanized Asian men.
But what really cemented this is looking back on my Japanese approaches. Out of maybe 6-7 total Japanese approaches lifetime, I've gotten 3 of the girls to meet up for dates (1/4 here in California). And I think on nearly every Japanese approach, the girl was initially unreceptive, but I recognized her accent when she tries to leave with "I donto supiiku ingurisshu" and I switch languages, and go on to having a 5+ minute conversation and exchange. It's like out of nowhere, 20lbs of lean muscle just plumped on my body and suddenly the girl is interested. Compare that to 0/500+ for other Asian girls, and 1/3-4 for black girls (there aren't that many here).
What's my point here? I'm saying that I got a taste of what it'd be like for a girl to see inherent value in me approaching her, essentially with knowing her native language in a country she didn't expect anyone to know it in. And I had a lot of thinking about "what value am I even providing to these other girls? why should they even meet up with me again?"
I think up front is looks. But without that, what is there? There's plenty more I can improve regarding my approach interactions and I've talked about them before. But it essentially feels like I'm just aggressively marketing a product that isn't even good in the end. It's like how Apple hardly needs to advertise the newest iPhone, because they know people are going to buy it because they know the product is good. What am I offering to girls?
The above discussion sounds like purely blackpill. But it actually isn't, because I was able to come up with the following conclusions as I was approaching:
1. You haven't even gotten close to maxing out your looks and strength potential. You're not allowed to complain about your looks until you have literally hit top 1-5 percentile for your own body. And likely the above worries will go away once you do. You still have a lot of work to do.
2. There are still girls that will meet up with you if you keep approaching in your current state. Are you going to choose 0.1% or clean 0%? Do you have any better ideas for meeting girls? Exactly.
3. One day you'll be jacked and also have more experience and this won't feel so brutal and hopeless. but in the meanwhile you can deal with what you have. if you just wait until you feel "worth it" and you finally start at that point, you'll probably feel even more disappointed. you certainly didn't have these self-worth and self-esteem issues when you started approaching, they've only come since then. so you're going to just repeat the same cycle if you stop, because you'll get "back into approach" with a more baseline sense of self-worth and self-esteem, only to realize that the overwhelming majority of approaches are rejection, even if you're good, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about that.
The conclusion here is that in the meanwhile, I can override my own self-worth issues and continue anyway. Just fake it until you make it.
--
I was destined to die
how can I survive when I was encouraged to chase safety?
if I chase safety and complacency, I reproduce another worthless organism
an organism who exists for the sake of existing
an organism who reproduces for the sake of reproducing
how can I survive if I'm put in a novel situation
my wiring wants me to chase highs and validation
my wiring wants me to chase comfort
given the choice of life or death
I was destined to die
when life becomes uncomfortable
through pain we achieve greatness
through comfort we achieve sadness
through danger we achieve the prize
through safety we meet our demise
you were destined to die
if you chose satisfaction
you want to live?
then choose dedication
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2021
Yep, solid insights as ever.
I'm with you on this, 100%.
LOOKS ARE KING
One dude I love and respect here Thebastard has coached me through so much and just given me insight that has made my journey possible. He's done a lot of work with me behind the scenes and looking in the mirror today abs aren't far off, and then we add muscle. His breakdown of this is legendary and I am interviewing him soon, so watch out for that one.
Sherwyn, you are approaching like a beast. You have what it takes. But you have seen the insane disparities in outcomes which dudes do not want to talk about. I can respect it and we share this space and our journey together.
I think free speech and differences in view are great and I love when guys can have different views but respect each other, so not try to convince that dude he's wrong and needs to see it like you. I have done that in the past and I feel TERRIBLE about it because I didn't help those guys. I will never be like that again and will have patience just to listen and walk besides dudes.
Your journey is an important one to me, I'm gonna be honest, I think you have the potential for an amazing life. But I think you need to looksmaxxx and basically turn the gym into a religion. I feel strongly about this for you but I have resisted saying anything until I saw you were more open to entertaining this notion. Because if I somehow put you off the gym I would fucking hate myself for it. You having a personal trainer now has made me very fucking happy bro. But you will figure out the best way for you.
Ultimately, the girl has to like you dude. And for the most part, women have only one sense: VISION. That's about it man. I can tell you from all my dates so far, the girls knew within 1 second what the game was. Danish girl told me herself. She knew within 1 second she wanted to smash and then it was just a case of her planning when.
I really could go on about this topic, but you are having the same insights I and many others did.
There are many ways to skin the car, but there are some threads that run through all turnaround stories of guys in horrible situations who made it.
LOOKSMAXXING.
You understand how important it is to listen to guys who actually have been horrible cases and who made it. Guys who get it easy are able to help, but they will never be able to understand the deepest aspects of this journey for a hard case. We can take a lot from them, big time. But sometimes there are things guys who get it easy will be blissfully ignorant of.
Many of us are behind in the race dude. And to even get to the starting line will be a lot, and I mean A LOT, of work. This is the part these guys will never understand man. Why would they? They were basically at the finish line before they even begun......
There is a road for success for all of us, but my man, for some of us it is a deep deep journey of improvement that will be brutal, truly savage, and will also leave you bruised. Strap in, put in your looksmaxxing grind, and pray.
But on the other side of that is greatness.
If that doesn't work, we'll cry together bro.
MAC
I'm with you on this, 100%.
LOOKS ARE KING
One dude I love and respect here Thebastard has coached me through so much and just given me insight that has made my journey possible. He's done a lot of work with me behind the scenes and looking in the mirror today abs aren't far off, and then we add muscle. His breakdown of this is legendary and I am interviewing him soon, so watch out for that one.
Sherwyn, you are approaching like a beast. You have what it takes. But you have seen the insane disparities in outcomes which dudes do not want to talk about. I can respect it and we share this space and our journey together.
I think free speech and differences in view are great and I love when guys can have different views but respect each other, so not try to convince that dude he's wrong and needs to see it like you. I have done that in the past and I feel TERRIBLE about it because I didn't help those guys. I will never be like that again and will have patience just to listen and walk besides dudes.
Your journey is an important one to me, I'm gonna be honest, I think you have the potential for an amazing life. But I think you need to looksmaxxx and basically turn the gym into a religion. I feel strongly about this for you but I have resisted saying anything until I saw you were more open to entertaining this notion. Because if I somehow put you off the gym I would fucking hate myself for it. You having a personal trainer now has made me very fucking happy bro. But you will figure out the best way for you.
Ultimately, the girl has to like you dude. And for the most part, women have only one sense: VISION. That's about it man. I can tell you from all my dates so far, the girls knew within 1 second what the game was. Danish girl told me herself. She knew within 1 second she wanted to smash and then it was just a case of her planning when.
I really could go on about this topic, but you are having the same insights I and many others did.
There are many ways to skin the car, but there are some threads that run through all turnaround stories of guys in horrible situations who made it.
LOOKSMAXXING.
You understand how important it is to listen to guys who actually have been horrible cases and who made it. Guys who get it easy are able to help, but they will never be able to understand the deepest aspects of this journey for a hard case. We can take a lot from them, big time. But sometimes there are things guys who get it easy will be blissfully ignorant of.
Many of us are behind in the race dude. And to even get to the starting line will be a lot, and I mean A LOT, of work. This is the part these guys will never understand man. Why would they? They were basically at the finish line before they even begun......
There is a road for success for all of us, but my man, for some of us it is a deep deep journey of improvement that will be brutal, truly savage, and will also leave you bruised. Strap in, put in your looksmaxxing grind, and pray.
But on the other side of that is greatness.
If that doesn't work, we'll cry together bro.
MAC
Holden
Member
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2021
Like MakingAComeback alluded to, I can probably not relate to being an extreme hardcase as I don't have these inherent disadvantages you mentioned.
But I do know two things:
1) The gym changed my life forever, and when I was at my heaviest and leanest I got the most attention from women. (The pics on my Tinder profile hail from this era). And much inner stuff will fall into place when you get a good body (I'm talking about confidence, outcome independence, self-esteem, 'masculinity', etc.)
2) The blackpill always lurks. I posted before about a professional male model I used to work with, and how easy it is for him. He showed me his IG and I couldn't help but feel bitter at seeing how women literally throw themselves at him with minimal effort on his part (although he was very mindful of his style and how he posed in pictures). Similarly, some of my friends are taller & better looking than me, and it shows when we go out. Those are hard reminders of our stone age/caveman origins.
But we have an advantage over these guys in the sense that we are forced to learn something, and deeply internalize something, that comes to them naturally, and is therefore only superficially there.
Like how a child chess prodigy can be beaten by a regular player, if the former isn't allowed to practice while the latter studies the game religiously for years on end.
But I do know two things:
1) The gym changed my life forever, and when I was at my heaviest and leanest I got the most attention from women. (The pics on my Tinder profile hail from this era). And much inner stuff will fall into place when you get a good body (I'm talking about confidence, outcome independence, self-esteem, 'masculinity', etc.)
2) The blackpill always lurks. I posted before about a professional male model I used to work with, and how easy it is for him. He showed me his IG and I couldn't help but feel bitter at seeing how women literally throw themselves at him with minimal effort on his part (although he was very mindful of his style and how he posed in pictures). Similarly, some of my friends are taller & better looking than me, and it shows when we go out. Those are hard reminders of our stone age/caveman origins.
But we have an advantage over these guys in the sense that we are forced to learn something, and deeply internalize something, that comes to them naturally, and is therefore only superficially there.
Like how a child chess prodigy can be beaten by a regular player, if the former isn't allowed to practice while the latter studies the game religiously for years on end.
Adrizzle
Member
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2021
colgate said:
One day you'll be a better version of you brah.
I know that looks is king is p popular here
But i think belief is king, what you believe is reality but its hard to get there.
I dont think being short or Indian or whatever means that much. I know short chinese dudes that pull. Shit always going to be easier for some. But whats a bigger feat being a tall white dude and pulling or being some short cunt with a silver tongue and pulling? (do you have a choice? lol). I am medium height Indian and i dont think this has ever been an influence in dating. But i know all my other things help.
If you havent hit the gym. You should hard. I have a p good v taper that i've had since i was 20. I got a beer belly now, but the shoulders help a bunch. If you got them Indian monkey genetics your delts should grow fast.
Man consider if 7 hours of pickup is worth your time. You could do 3 and then hit the weights.
GL
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2021
- Goal
- Master daygame
- Age
- 34
I though about posting this in response to your Friday session, but I'll double down after your Saturday session:
Based on watching you open 100+ girls, it is my observation that looks are not the limiting factor for you right now. Sure, I saw some portion of girls instantly deflect you because they looked up and saw the package you were presenting. But a much larger portion of girls rejected because of your:
vibe
&&
game.
In a future universe, a version of you who looks exactly the same, but who presents a slow, masculine, charming vibe to women has infinitely better success. And along with this vibe, improving your ability to flirt, show intent, touch, demonstrate higher value, build tension, do less interview mode, and hold your frame will only amplify your results.
Two specific examples why looks aren't your limiting factor:
1. You're getting a decent amount of dates and instadates. These girls wouldn't even be choosing to spend time with you if you were below their looks standards.
2. Remember how many chodey guys we saw walking with their cute Asian girlfriends in the mall? Those guys look WORSE than you!
If you were going after 5'8" white Instagram thots, yes, looks would be the issue. But you're not. Cute bookish Asian girls aren't sitting around going: "I want a hawt Chad". They would be overjoyed to have an extroverted 5'5" Indian guy who presents as remotely masculine and charming to show them the ways of carnal flesh.
So — don't not go to the gym. Don't not add edge to your look. Keep picking all the low hanging fruit in regards to your looks.
But do spend the majority of your mental energy improving your vibe and game. And the great thing about these is that they're infinitely improvable.
Based on watching you open 100+ girls, it is my observation that looks are not the limiting factor for you right now. Sure, I saw some portion of girls instantly deflect you because they looked up and saw the package you were presenting. But a much larger portion of girls rejected because of your:
vibe
&&
game.
In a future universe, a version of you who looks exactly the same, but who presents a slow, masculine, charming vibe to women has infinitely better success. And along with this vibe, improving your ability to flirt, show intent, touch, demonstrate higher value, build tension, do less interview mode, and hold your frame will only amplify your results.
Two specific examples why looks aren't your limiting factor:
1. You're getting a decent amount of dates and instadates. These girls wouldn't even be choosing to spend time with you if you were below their looks standards.
2. Remember how many chodey guys we saw walking with their cute Asian girlfriends in the mall? Those guys look WORSE than you!
If you were going after 5'8" white Instagram thots, yes, looks would be the issue. But you're not. Cute bookish Asian girls aren't sitting around going: "I want a hawt Chad". They would be overjoyed to have an extroverted 5'5" Indian guy who presents as remotely masculine and charming to show them the ways of carnal flesh.
So — don't not go to the gym. Don't not add edge to your look. Keep picking all the low hanging fruit in regards to your looks.
But do spend the majority of your mental energy improving your vibe and game. And the great thing about these is that they're infinitely improvable.
MILFandCookies
Member
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2020
- Goal
- Monetary Freedom
- Age
- 31
- Motto
- Life is meant to be lived, not just survived
colgate said:
Bro... You got a girl into your car, got some solid freaky makeout session and sucked on her titties while her friend was trying to get her to go?
And your conclusion was that you were "blueballed again with another solid pull+no hookup"?!?!
Yo.
This is a huge win. Sounds like a fuckton of fun.
I'm proud of how far you've come. Especially on the honesty shit here. And being a normal human being. I'm proud of you.
And your conlcusion was that it was a failure, because you didn't stick your dick in her.
Bro.
She's a virgin. You're a virgin. Why are you expecting to fuck a girl in the car ON THE FIRST DATE WHEN YOU'RE BOTH VIRGINS? You went as far as she's ever gone in the past! She's so damn comfortable with you to let you do that.
Give yourself a win here.
I feel like in your mind "if I don't stick it in, I'm a fucking bitch..."
And I 100% get not wanting to be a virgin anymore. I'm far from it now, but guess what? I was a virgin once (shocker!!!)
But when I was a virgin I was a bit nicer to myself. I cherished every makeout session, every titty grab. Cause making out is really fun even if it's not dick-in-vagina.
And it's more fun for both of you when you're excited about everything you do with her, rather than bullying yourself unless it's everything you wanted.
Here's a good youtube video on the subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JqH1_l0b9M
I love the pizza analogy for sex rather than the baseball analogy.
In Baseball if you don't hit home base it doesn't fucking matter how many bases you got. That's the norm when it comes to thinking about sex for guys, so I understand why you're thinking this way.
But there's another way.
If you and her order a pizza... you both figure out what you want on the pizza.
You might like bacon on your pizza and hate pineapple and she might like pineapple but hate bacon... but you both like pepperoni so you order a large pepperoni.
And you eat it but you're less hungry than you thought so you leave a few slices there for later.
This is a fun way to think about sex.
Sure you wanted bacon on your pizza (fucking her) and she wanted pineapple (waiting until marriage) but you both wanted pepperoni (hot makeout session with titty sucking) so you enjoyed that together.
And guess what? Now you have leftovers (fucking her like a madman) that you can enjoy later!
But it wasn't a failure... you both enjoyed the 3/4 of the pizza that you ate.
This analogy for sex is much more fun. You can still enjoy having some fun even if you didn't "go to home base."
I'm proud of you man. Be nicer to yourself. Enjoy the wins you get, and trust me you'll lose your virginity soon. You're working super hard on it and making a lot of headway.
Paw
Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2022
Dude, you did 35 approaches in a day? That's as many as I did the past month basically. You are hustling hard and you will get results from it eventually. You are fucking inspiring, to be honest, and I'm cheering for you.
If you are hammering away and not getting anywhere, maybe you need to change your approach. As you said, maximize the different aspects of yourself, especially looks. Hit the gym hard as fuck, clean up your diet, improve your style, stand up tall (good posture), brush your teeth, and smell good.
And, as long as one girl out of tons likes you, who gives a fuck if you had to approach 200 to get there and some other dude had to approach 20?
I am not a hard case myself, so some aspects I can't relate to, so I can only speak from my own experience when I say this:
1. There is such a thing as being shit at approaching. From my first +500 approaches, I got only one lay. I had a whole fucking process, was using stupid tactics, lines, and shit like that and not being super authentic most of the time (don't know if this applies to you, haven't read your whole log). Anyway, I still got some numbers, some dates, some make-outs, some almost-sex, and that one lay. But today the results are way better. And I might add that my body was actually better back then than it is now, so it doesn't have to do with looks. I believe that it's that I have chilled back, I'm clear about my intentions, I care less about the outcome and I just have a normal fucking conversation and move things forward.
A question here is, what is your game actually? What do you do when you approach? Have you thought about what vibe you give off?
2. As Holden, the gym changed my life as well. It's how I found out that you can actually improve aspects of your life. I translated the transformations I experienced with my body into other aspects of my life, such as with women, business and lifestyle. Hit that shit hard man
You're already ahead of 99% of guys simply by the fact that you are working on yourself. You will keep doing that for the rest of your life. You can't stop once you know about it.
Again, I'm cheering for you and I think everyone else in this forum is as well.
If you are hammering away and not getting anywhere, maybe you need to change your approach. As you said, maximize the different aspects of yourself, especially looks. Hit the gym hard as fuck, clean up your diet, improve your style, stand up tall (good posture), brush your teeth, and smell good.
And, as long as one girl out of tons likes you, who gives a fuck if you had to approach 200 to get there and some other dude had to approach 20?
I am not a hard case myself, so some aspects I can't relate to, so I can only speak from my own experience when I say this:
1. There is such a thing as being shit at approaching. From my first +500 approaches, I got only one lay. I had a whole fucking process, was using stupid tactics, lines, and shit like that and not being super authentic most of the time (don't know if this applies to you, haven't read your whole log). Anyway, I still got some numbers, some dates, some make-outs, some almost-sex, and that one lay. But today the results are way better. And I might add that my body was actually better back then than it is now, so it doesn't have to do with looks. I believe that it's that I have chilled back, I'm clear about my intentions, I care less about the outcome and I just have a normal fucking conversation and move things forward.
A question here is, what is your game actually? What do you do when you approach? Have you thought about what vibe you give off?
2. As Holden, the gym changed my life as well. It's how I found out that you can actually improve aspects of your life. I translated the transformations I experienced with my body into other aspects of my life, such as with women, business and lifestyle. Hit that shit hard man
You're already ahead of 99% of guys simply by the fact that you are working on yourself. You will keep doing that for the rest of your life. You can't stop once you know about it.
Again, I'm cheering for you and I think everyone else in this forum is as well.
colgate / bulldog
Member
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2021
- Goal
- BANG!! japanese chicks!
- Age
- 27
- Motto
- consistency. acceptance. tumescence.
- Location
- tokyo, japan
Thanks for the replies and support everyone.
I was just saying that it'll take some time for me to be where I want to with that.
And the "chodes at the mall with the hot asian gfs" got them for different reasons other than looks. Likely social circle, and we can speculate things like "oh she has all the control in the relationship, and he'd never have another chance with any other girl, blah blah". But none of that is helpful for me because 1) I'm not in that social circle and 2) I don't have that hot asian gf.
I'm saying I don't have the up front sex appeal based on my looks (right now, it will come in the future), and beyond that there's no other reason for most of the girls to meet up with me. Essentially a couple things I have to keep in mind in the meanwhile:
1. Accept low percentages (and I mean <0.1% vs 3%) for a while, because it's clearly better than zero as anyone can see from my log
2. Figure out what value I can provide to girls otherwise to compensate and find out how to incorporate that on approaches.
I'll be convinced that my looks are fine once I have an online dating profile that nets me decent volume (as in likes/matches). That's the only objective metric I have.
The "blueballed with another pull+no hookup" part was a joke (since I've had a lot of those, but in less satisfying ways). Sorry if it came off as disappointment because it really wasn't.
2. some opener. ranging from "hey, you're pretty/cute [and i wanted to meet you]" to "you're cute as fuck" to "you're freaking adorable" to some specific compliment about her style/clothes/hair/whatever.
3. "what are you up to" (honestly i might cut this one out, i find myself feeling kind of awkward when i ask this)
4. small talk and cold read basic questions until there's something i can latch onto
5. make future projections about traveling (because i like that), adlib. usually at this point i feel pretty comfortable and can talk about anything and it doesn't feel like an "approach" anymore
6. pitch instadate and/or probe date logisitics
7. if not instadate, grab the number
Most approaches don't get past 2. I consider it a real interaction if I can get past 3-4. So if I go out on a Sunday afternoon and have a 70 approach blast, it probably means like 50+ of them didn't get past 2.
Btw, I want to note that my approach volume isn't anything special. There's just a lot of people at the mall. And this mall has 1) mostly shy Asians 2) other people approaching girls 3) other people soliciting things (e.g. Bible study), so pretty much everyone has their radar up, and you get way more instant deflections than usual.
I've also been lightly touching the girl's arm and etc here and there. I think once I get past the initial hurdle of "uhhh I'm talking to someone I don't know but I'm interested sexually" and I have things I can talk about with them, I loosen up and my vibe is more playful and I tease a lot. But the first part of the interaction, I'm honestly quite robotic and at times slightly aggressive too for some reason. I think there are a couple approaches where I somehow felt genuine and playful up front, but it's very inconsistent and probably 1/15-20 approaches. Being able to get this to become all of my approaches will help me a lot.
I do go to the gym, I haven't written about it much in that log lately but I've been with a personal trainer for the past 3 weeks. Here's also my existing workout history: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=27844#p27844Adrizzle said:
I was just saying that it'll take some time for me to be where I want to with that.
You're right. I did get caught up in the looks thing, because I've seen better-looking guys pretty much do similar things as me when they talk to girls, yet they get more results than I do. I think it is important for me to be aware of that, and I'll have to make up in other ways. Certainly if I knew Chinese it'd help with the Chinese girls. I think I should have zoned into that point harder in my original post, but if I don't have looks (I'm not saying I look ugly, but it's not something that's a + for me), then what value do I have? I have to index into other things like you mentioned.pancakemouse said:
And the "chodes at the mall with the hot asian gfs" got them for different reasons other than looks. Likely social circle, and we can speculate things like "oh she has all the control in the relationship, and he'd never have another chance with any other girl, blah blah". But none of that is helpful for me because 1) I'm not in that social circle and 2) I don't have that hot asian gf.
I'm saying I don't have the up front sex appeal based on my looks (right now, it will come in the future), and beyond that there's no other reason for most of the girls to meet up with me. Essentially a couple things I have to keep in mind in the meanwhile:
1. Accept low percentages (and I mean <0.1% vs 3%) for a while, because it's clearly better than zero as anyone can see from my log
2. Figure out what value I can provide to girls otherwise to compensate and find out how to incorporate that on approaches.
I'll be convinced that my looks are fine once I have an online dating profile that nets me decent volume (as in likes/matches). That's the only objective metric I have.
Haha sorry, I think you took my statement too far. I considered it a success, I had a lot of fun.MILFandCookies said:
The "blueballed with another pull+no hookup" part was a joke (since I've had a lot of those, but in less satisfying ways). Sorry if it came off as disappointment because it really wasn't.
1. stop the girl if she's walking with "hey, [excuse me]". try to make sure she's standing still and paying attention. very occasionally i'll walk and talk but i'm veering away from this.Paw said:
2. some opener. ranging from "hey, you're pretty/cute [and i wanted to meet you]" to "you're cute as fuck" to "you're freaking adorable" to some specific compliment about her style/clothes/hair/whatever.
3. "what are you up to" (honestly i might cut this one out, i find myself feeling kind of awkward when i ask this)
4. small talk and cold read basic questions until there's something i can latch onto
5. make future projections about traveling (because i like that), adlib. usually at this point i feel pretty comfortable and can talk about anything and it doesn't feel like an "approach" anymore
6. pitch instadate and/or probe date logisitics
7. if not instadate, grab the number
Most approaches don't get past 2. I consider it a real interaction if I can get past 3-4. So if I go out on a Sunday afternoon and have a 70 approach blast, it probably means like 50+ of them didn't get past 2.
Btw, I want to note that my approach volume isn't anything special. There's just a lot of people at the mall. And this mall has 1) mostly shy Asians 2) other people approaching girls 3) other people soliciting things (e.g. Bible study), so pretty much everyone has their radar up, and you get way more instant deflections than usual.
I've also been lightly touching the girl's arm and etc here and there. I think once I get past the initial hurdle of "uhhh I'm talking to someone I don't know but I'm interested sexually" and I have things I can talk about with them, I loosen up and my vibe is more playful and I tease a lot. But the first part of the interaction, I'm honestly quite robotic and at times slightly aggressive too for some reason. I think there are a couple approaches where I somehow felt genuine and playful up front, but it's very inconsistent and probably 1/15-20 approaches. Being able to get this to become all of my approaches will help me a lot.